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Hump Day #977675
09/09/14 11:23 PM
09/09/14 11:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.
Carl Jung (1875 - 1961)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Eleven women were clinging precariously to a wildly
swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping
on Mount Everest. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette.

As a group they decided that one of the party should let go.
If that didn't happen the rope would break and everyone would perish.

For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered.

Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would
sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others.
All the blondes applauded.
~~~~~~~~~~~


Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

For Sale — Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.

Great Dames for sale.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.


If you think you’ve seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy"
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, Ticket, please."
~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was an engineer, manager and programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control. Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowing avoiding going over a cliff. They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed. The manager said "To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through a process of continuous improvement, develop a solution." The engineer said "No that would take too long, and besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it." The programmer said "I think you're both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are in a steel room with no windows, doors or openings. All you have is a matchbook...how do you get out?

Answer: Strike One! Strike Two! Strike Three...Your Out!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." "But, officer, I just wanted to say,..." "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. After a bit, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens. He tries again. Still nothing. He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He pulls that cord. Nothing happens. He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail. Suddenly, he looks down and he can't believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going up! Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver -- by this time scared out of his wits--yells, "Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?" The other guy yells back, "No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


We're at the hump. happydance


Sometime later on we'll hit that peak and start the downward slide. woot


Since I'm off on Friday, I'll hit my peak at about midnight tonight while I'm sleeping. thumbsup


I hope I don't roll out of my bed. eek


Heights always make me dizzy. crazy


I hope your day takes you to new heights.................................................and you don't fall off. wink


Have a happy day everyone. rah



joe



Last edited by gymcandy1; 09/09/14 11:25 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977701
09/10/14 04:24 AM
09/10/14 04:24 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,and all who come in after me wave Coffee is ready! wishing you all a great hump day!!! sherlock


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977705
09/10/14 05:03 AM
09/10/14 05:03 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe and Sue. Joe have a happy day too. Sue thanks for the coffee. How are you doing? Wishing All a nice day! wave wave


Gerry
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977712
09/10/14 05:42 AM
09/10/14 05:42 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning. I couldn't sleep so I've decided to see who's here in the diner. Hi Joe, Sue and Gerry, and all who follow me in here today. Have a great day everyone.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977715
09/10/14 05:49 AM
09/10/14 05:49 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
My computer decided now was the time to update itself which cut way into my time, so I'll just have to say a quick hello and goodbye this morning. wave Have a terrific Wednesday, everyone. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977724
09/10/14 06:46 AM
09/10/14 06:46 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers smile

Joe, hope the day flies by for you so Friday will get here quicker.

Sue, thanks for the coffee. happydance

Gerry, have a great day!

Midgie, you're up early. Have a nice day!

Venus, enjoy your workday.

Cooler weather today. I like it. Brother and SIL coming for turkey dinner and fixings tonight. They'll be leaving for FL soon and they miss Thanksgiving here so I'm giving them the Holiday early. grin


Gail
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977731
09/10/14 07:23 AM
09/10/14 07:23 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. We are waiting for our new session of exercise classes to start. Once it cools off a bit I will start walking again. It will be hard at first without hubby. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Hump day. Danish, Waffles, and Bacon and Eggs in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977749
09/10/14 09:05 AM
09/10/14 09:05 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Good morning boomers. Hope everyone has a wonderful Wednesday smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977752
09/10/14 09:29 AM
09/10/14 09:29 AM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer
flutist  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning y'all.

Raining here. We need it.

The breeder brought Lyric over last night and she and Cory sniffed noses then ignored each other. Lyric will go in to be spayed today and we will get her on the 19th. Diane wants to make sure she heals well and is okay. When we get her, will post some pics.

So, how is everyone today? Rarin and ready to go and kicking up your heels? lol

Have a great day everyone.

Bets


Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.
Re: Hump Day [Re: flutist] #977756
09/10/14 09:54 AM
09/10/14 09:54 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and have a happy Hump Day!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Is it Friday yet? lol

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977760
09/10/14 10:07 AM
09/10/14 10:07 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Sue thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Gerry have a nice walk and a lovely day!

Midge is your coworker back now? Have a lovely day!

Gail good thing it is cooler today if cooking a turkey. lol It's 47 out there and raining here. Have a lovely day!

venus happy training!! Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly! Have a lovely day!

Connie could you start walking in a different place then where you and hubby walked? HUGS!! Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

Off for a doc appointment then home where it is warm!!

wave
Nan

Re: Hump Day [Re: auntiegram] #977779
09/10/14 11:18 AM
09/10/14 11:18 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good moaning everybody. tired

I'm still sipping on coffee and very tired. yes

It's been a very busy week, and the heat continues in the mid 90s every day. At least we've been having a strong breeze every day to help keep you cooled a bit while you are outside. yes

I don't work today until 2:00, and then I close again tomorrow from 1 to 10. razz

What ever you have on your plate today, I hope....... think...it taste good. thumbsup


jow


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977782
09/10/14 11:31 AM
09/10/14 11:31 AM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Morning all. Nice nice day here although this afternoon will be hotsky. Still summer.

Monday evening I watched a great movie via youtube, "The Crossing". It's about General George Washington at Valley Forge and their crossing the Delaware. The revolution effort had hit a low, no food, guns, ammo or shoes or warm clothes and no sleep. They had to commandeer boats to cross the Delaware River and attack British fortifications at Trenton, NJ (I think Trenton) must look that up. Great movie. All Americans should watch this. Then last night I watched a documentary about the dark ages. Life was rough then, how did we ever survive. Tonight, who knows.

That ShemerBaby cat!!! He's 15 pounds, I know, but this AM he ate 2 whole cans of Fancy Feast at 54 cents a can and licked his plate. And now he's sleeping it off. The girls just icky-picked and Commander Buttons hoovered down his simmered chicken breast -it has to be the kind with skin and bones attached as he won't eat the skinless fillets. Which fillets would be alot less work for me.

Out of Britta filters -Amazon sells them so -Goody- maybe I'll buy some more games with them too.

Happy Wednesday


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977793
09/10/14 12:55 PM
09/10/14 12:55 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Wonderful Wednesday ya'll

The weatherman keeps promising it will cool down, but so far, he's been wrong. lol

Hubby is at half way point in UK. He'll be home before I know it happydance wave

Gail, that is very sweet of you to make Thanksgiving early.

Bets, I love the name, Lyric puppy

wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977813
09/10/14 03:30 PM
09/10/14 03:30 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good afternoon boomies. I've been trying to get up on emails I have to write and everything just takes so long.I apologize for the absence but I keep running out of time before my left hand gets tired.

The great news is that I found out yesterday is that they were able to completely repair my shoulder and it was a success. I am so thankful!!!! It will take longer to heal because of how much he had to do, but that's okay. Unfortunately, the sling along with its attachments will be my friend for another 4 weeks minimum. grin

be back later...........


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977824
09/10/14 05:25 PM
09/10/14 05:25 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Ana, glad it was good news. I know the sling is bothersome and limiting, but it will be wonderful to have a like-new shoulder. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977846
09/10/14 09:12 PM
09/10/14 09:12 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
All exhausted folks heading for bed. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Hump Day [Re: looney4labs] #977849
09/10/14 09:31 PM
09/10/14 09:31 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night looney and my fellow Boomers. sleep


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
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