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Thump Day #977873
09/11/14 01:13 AM
09/11/14 01:13 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There are four tourists from India who are visiting London. They go to see the Big Ben. They all climb up the tower and decide to throw their wrist watches from the top, then hurry down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground.

The first tourist, Amar, threw his watch but heard it crash before the had taken four steps.

The second tourist, Vinod, threw his watch and had hardly taken three before when he heard his watch shatter.

The third tourist, Harry, threw his watch and by the time he had taken two steps, the watch hit the ground.

The fourth tourist, Santa Singh, threw his watch off the tower, went down the stairs, bought a cup of coffee from a shop down the street and walked slowly back to Big Ben in time to catch the watch.

"How on earth did you do that?" asked all his friends.

"Simple", Santa Singh replied, "My watch is slow by 30 minutes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: What is the difference between a Pit Bull and a Pathologist?

A: A Pit bull lets go when you're dead!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mr. Singh from India who was touring the United States, decided to take a cruise. He found himself seated in front of a Frenchman in the ship's dining room. Mr. Singh could speak neither French nor English, and the French guy had no knowledge of Hindi or Punjabi languages.

The Frenchman bowed and said, "Bon appétit!"

Mr. Singh was confused, but he bowed back and replied "Singh."

For the next couple of days, the same routine followed at every meal.

One day, a fellow passenger took Mr. Singh aside and said to him, "Listen, the Frenchman is not telling you his name. When he says 'Bon appétit!', it simply means 'Good Appetite'."

During the next meal, a confident Mr. Singh, bowed to the Frenchman and said, "Bon appétit!".

And the Frenchman, smiling back, replied: "Singh!"
~~~~~

Michael was a victim of his imagination and suffered from diseases that did not exist. One day, he staggered into the house bent forward, looking for a chair, and still curled into a half-moon shape, dropped into it.

While struggling to breathe, he said "Jane, it has hit me at last. It came without a warning. All of a sudden I found I could not straighten up. I can't even raise my head."

When the doctor came to see Michael, his wife asked the doctor, "Will he survive?"

"Well" the doctor said, "it certainly would be a great help if he will unhitch the second buttonhole of his vest from the top button of his trousers."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jerry dies in a car accident and goes straight to hell to suffer eternally at the hands of the devil. As he passes deadly pits and screaming sinners, he saw a man getting cozy with a beautiful lady. He recognized the man - he was a cunning lawyer who had died a couple of years ago.

"This is not fair!" Jerry exclaims. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer is having fun with a beautiful woman."

"Be quiet!" barked the devil, jabbing him with his pitchfork. "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A waiter goes to a corner table where three old ladies were having their dinner and asks, "Is ANYTHING okay?"
~~~~~~~~~~~

Twenty inflexible Rules in the office

1. Never challenge the boss. He is always right.

2. If the Boss is mistaken, see rule # 1.

3. Those who work hard always get more work. Others enjoy pay, perks, and promotions.

4. Ph.D. denotes "Pull Him Down". The more capable, hardworking and dedicated you are, the more number of people will be involved in pulling you down.

5. If you are good, you will get a lot of work. If you are very good, you will get out of it.

6. When the Boss talks about improving productivity, he never includes his own self.

7. What you do in not important, what matters is what you say you have done and what you will be doing.

8. A pat on the back is only inches away from a kick in the behind.

9. Don't be indispensable. If you cannot be dispensed with, you cannot be promoted.

10. The more [blip] you take, the more you are going to get.

11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a [blip] fool about it.

12. When you don't know what is to be done, walk fast and look concerned.

13. You cannot get work done by following rules.

14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.

15. A lot can be filed under "Miscellaneous".

16. No matter how much you do, it is never enough.

17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are meant to be doing.

18. It is not essential to know your job in order to get promoted.

19. You only need to pretend that you know your job to get promoted.

20. All the blame for any situation can be put on the last person who resigned or was fired.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


I am having so much trouble keeping my peepers open. sleep eek


Ok I went and ate a popsickle. That woke me up. yay


Actually I'm just as tired, but I'm more aware. think Whut??


How long it will last is anybody's guess. yes


Anybody?.... headscratch


smirk My body just keeps whispering to me, "You could be sleeping right now." "Why are you still up?"


Question: When does a person fall without harming their self?

Answer: When they fall asleep.


Have a happy day everyone.


joe







There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977880
09/11/14 04:22 AM
09/11/14 04:22 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe. Coffee is ready whenever you are Joe. Have a great day everyone! wave


Gerry
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977885
09/11/14 05:47 AM
09/11/14 05:47 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Time for another work whoosh. Have a great Thursday, everyone. wave


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Thump Day [Re: venus] #977886
09/11/14 06:08 AM
09/11/14 06:08 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Gerry,Venus wave Gerry thanks for getting the coffee! birthdayto you!!


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977891
09/11/14 06:35 AM
09/11/14 06:35 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers smile

Joe, hope you have a peaceful sleep.

Gerry, Happy Birthday. Cake is ready to go with the coffee.

Venus, happy workday.

Sue, enjoy whatever plans you have for the day.

Busy day today. Bringing daughter for her yearly physical this morning then bringing her to school. Board meeting at church tonight. Wishing everyone a wonderful day! lab


Gail
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977894
09/11/14 06:46 AM
09/11/14 06:46 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. birthday Gerry, Birthday Cupcakes in the NC. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Thursday. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, and Waffles in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Thump Day [Re: connie] #977919
09/11/14 09:50 AM
09/11/14 09:50 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Happy Thump Day toooooooo yoooouuuuuu!! smile

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977945
09/11/14 12:14 PM
09/11/14 12:14 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Hi all.
15 days with out internet,I was visiting my parents in a campsite.
Only sea,sky and stars... woozy
Ana how is your shoulder?
Glad to be back. happydance wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977962
09/11/14 01:04 PM
09/11/14 01:04 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Thumping Good Thursday ya'll

The days are flying by. Hubby will be home next week!

It's still hot and we are all still busy here. Imagine the busy part won't change as long as the boys are here.

Welcome back, Haroula. Was camping totally lovely? wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977974
09/11/14 01:47 PM
09/11/14 01:47 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Gerry birthday Thanks for the hot coffee! Was only 45 out there this morning. Brrrrr. Have a lovely day!

venus happy training!! May you be asigned just the right store! Have a lovely day!

Sue have a lovely day!

Gail good luck to daughter on her annual check up! Have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for the goodies and have a lovely day! HUGS!

Darlene may work all go smoothly! It's almost Friday!! Have a lovely day!

Haroula welcome back. Hope you had a nice time camping!! Have a lovely day!

L4l I guess the cool air went some place else. I'll try to send it again. lol Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977978
09/11/14 02:22 PM
09/11/14 02:22 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
This week is flying by. Speaking of flying, Penelope Peacock was here last night (probably well after dark). I saw her earlier, but today when I was putting groceries in my truck, I saw she had left me 2 presents on my trunk. She loves to nest between my back window and the spoiler. Cute but Yukky poop piles were so gross. Have to check more frequently on the trunk!

In other news, for anyone who uses Ziploc or Glad disposable plastic dishes: Ziploc had changed it's product to less than half the thickness and the 'new improved' version is of horrible quality. It's worse than the cut-rate store brands. Terrible.

So I went on a shopping spree. I checked several of the places I usually bought my dishes and managed to get a supply of them before all the 'old' ones are gone. Oh, well, now the old ones are gone from several stores. rotfl I bought the entire stock on the shelves. Only about 5-10 packages at each store but I'm stocking up.

If Ziploc changed, Gladware will be next. The old style is nice and thick and doesn't have any sharp edges (I've cut my fingers on some of the 'off brand'). Gladware now has a new coordinated decorated style. Much more expensive, less quality. It's the end of an era for strong disposable dishes.

Also, California just passed a ban on disposable plastic bags for groceries. Starting next year or sometime after, we will have to PAY for those at 5 cents a bag AND if you want paper it's 10 cents. Geeeeeeeee! So I went looking for the nice canvas totes they used to sell all over. NONE anywhere. The ones I could find were 'recycled plastic bottles' in a felted paper style. They won't last at all. Already some on the racks were torn. I might just have to sew some canvas ones for myself. Should have bought them long ago, but I never figured we would actually get penalized for plastic stuff. I'm hating 'progress'.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977985
09/11/14 02:52 PM
09/11/14 02:52 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Good afternoon boomers. Hope everyone is having a terrific Thursday. smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977988
09/11/14 03:18 PM
09/11/14 03:18 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Hi ya, Manx wave

Yes, Sorta, I'm with you. Most often "new and improved," is more expensive and shoddy! wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #977991
09/11/14 03:45 PM
09/11/14 03:45 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #978038
09/11/14 09:08 PM
09/11/14 09:08 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good evening boomies! I went back to work today and Peter and his SO came over so it's been very busy. I'm sorry I'm not posting much, it takes me so long to type. lol

Haroula, welcome back!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #978039
09/11/14 09:53 PM
09/11/14 09:53 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Night all, house is quiet, so off to bed I go.....sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #978046
09/11/14 11:56 PM
09/11/14 11:56 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Sweet dreams...


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Thump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #978048
09/12/14 12:36 AM
09/12/14 12:36 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Night all!!

sleep
Nan

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