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Jokes. #978054
09/12/14 02:34 AM
09/12/14 02:34 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,941
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,941
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
-1.Q: What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones? A: "I didn't w--- up this m------…"

-2.Q: What is the range of a trombone? A: About 10 yards if you've got a g--- a--.

-3.A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar t----- here?”

-4.Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender?
They both got --- m-----!

-5.my deaf girlfriend started talking in her sleep in bed the other night,
nearly had my e-- o--!

-6.An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Jap, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese,a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub.
The doorman stops them and says, ‘Sorry, I can’t let you in without a T---.’

-7.Why could Beethoven never find his teacher?
Because he was H----!

-8.Have you ever started to eat a horse and then realised that you weren't that h----- after all?

9.A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your m----- for you.’'

-10.He promised to give up cigarettes, but he was just b------ s----.

lol

Last edited by curly; 09/12/14 09:52 AM.

If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #978055
09/12/14 02:59 AM
09/12/14 02:59 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
3. Tender wave


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #978059
09/12/14 03:48 AM
09/12/14 03:48 AM
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 11,846
Isle of Man
Lex Offline
Adept Boomer
Lex  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 11,846
Isle of Man
1. I didn't wake up this morning... lol


Life is what happens while you're making other plans.

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #978061
09/12/14 03:58 AM
09/12/14 03:58 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,941
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,941
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Thanks.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #978062
09/12/14 04:04 AM
09/12/14 04:04 AM
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 9,304
Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
bermag45 Offline
BAAG Specialist
bermag45  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 9,304
Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
6. Thai lol Hi Curly wave

Bernie monky

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #978068
09/12/14 05:16 AM
09/12/14 05:16 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
5. ear off?
9. hungry


Gerry
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #978069
09/12/14 05:18 AM
09/12/14 05:18 AM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 15,007
Ohio
michele rose Offline
Graduate Boomer
michele rose  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 15,007
Ohio
4. six months lol

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #978072
09/12/14 05:48 AM
09/12/14 05:48 AM
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 16,715
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
Redz Offline
Graduate Boomer
Redz  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 16,715
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
10. blowing smoke grin wave

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #978074
09/12/14 06:22 AM
09/12/14 06:22 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
7. Haydn

Morning curly, puppy


Gail
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #978076
09/12/14 06:56 AM
09/12/14 06:56 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,941
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,941
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Morning, good ones. Gerry, I'm sure you meant no.8.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #978081
09/12/14 08:25 AM
09/12/14 08:25 AM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,755
Orleans, Ontario, CANADA
OrleansBelle Offline
BAAG Specialist
OrleansBelle  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,755
Orleans, Ontario, CANADA
2 - good arm


Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #978086
09/12/14 08:50 AM
09/12/14 08:50 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,941
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,941
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Oui.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #978091
09/12/14 09:19 AM
09/12/14 09:19 AM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,440
47.79N, 122.24W
BobH Offline
Addicted Boomer
BobH  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,440
47.79N, 122.24W
9. monkey smile


Bob
As I've grown older, I've found that my memory is not as good as I used to think it was.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #978094
09/12/14 09:52 AM
09/12/14 09:52 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,941
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,941
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Thanks Bob.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #978201
09/13/14 05:26 AM
09/13/14 05:26 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
I did mean #8 curly! snicker


Gerry
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #978204
09/13/14 06:59 AM
09/13/14 06:59 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,941
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,941
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Right on my friend!

Have a great weekend.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
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