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Monday Mourning #978423
09/14/14 11:38 PM
09/14/14 11:38 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first woman she meets and then teams up with three complete strangers to kill again.
Rick Polito, Marin Independent Journal's TV listing for "The Wizard of Oz"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was this gas station in "redneck country" trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up." Soon a "redneck" customer pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.

The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), and if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. The buyer then guessed (8) and the proprietor said, "No, you were close. The number was (7). Sorry, no free sex this time but maybe next time".

Some time thereafter, the same man, along with his buddy this time, pulled in again for a fill-up, and again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story and asked him to guess the correct number. The man guessed (2) this time, and the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was (3). You were close but no free sex this time".

As they were driving away, the driver said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't give away free sex". The buddy replied, "No, it's not rigged -- my wife won twice last week."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

38 KINDER, GENTLER WAYS TO SAY SOMEONE IS STUPID

A few clowns short of a circus
A few fries short of a Happy Meal
An experiment in artificial stupidity
A few beers short of a six-pack
Dumber than a box of hair
A few peas short of a casserole
Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box
The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead
One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl
One taco short of a combo plate
A few feathers short of a whole duck
All foam, no beer
The cheese slid off the cracker
Body by Fisher - Brains by Mattel
Has an IQ of 2 and it takes 3 to grunt
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools
As smart as bait
Chimney's clogged
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash
Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor
Forgot to pay his brain bill
Her sewing machine's out of thread
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels
His belt doesn't go through all the loops
If he had another brain it would be lonely
Missing a few buttons on his remote control
No grain in the silo
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse
Receiver is off the hook
Several nuts short of a full pouch
Skylight leaks a little
Slinky's kinked
Surfing in Nebraska
Too much yardage between the goal posts
~~~~~~~~~~~

SIGNS YOUR CO-WORKER IS A COMPUTER HACKER

10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.

9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes three years running.

8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.

7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.

6. Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work.

5. Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net"

4. Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments.

3. Video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons

2. When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President."

1. You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa card now, jerk."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THINGS THAT NEVER HAPPEN ON STAR TREK


The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type that it has encountered before.

The Enterprise goes to check up on a remote outpost of scientists who are all perfectly all right.

The Enterprise comes across a Garden-of-Eden-like planet called Paradise, where everyone is happy all the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly as it seems.

The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform, wearing a silly hat.

The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a strange alien plague, for which the cure is found in the well-stocked sick-bay.

An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.

A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.

A power surge on the Bridge fails to electrocute the user of a computer panel, due to a highly sophisticated 24th century surge protection feature called a 'fuse'.

The Enterprise ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.

The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.

The Enterprise separates as soon as there is any danger.

The Enterprise gets involved in an enigmatic, strange, and dangerous situation, and there are no pesky aliens they can blame it on in the end.

The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify with candy.

The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp phenomenon, which is in no way connected with the 20th century.

Somebody takes out a shuttle and it doesn't explode or crash.

A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, and some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.

The shields on the Enterprise stay up during a battle.

The Enterprise visits the Klingon Home World on a bright, sunny day

An attempt at undermining the Klingon-Federation alliance is discovered without anyone noting that such an attempt, if successful, "would represent a fundamental shift of power throughout the quadrant."

A major character spends the entire episode in the Holodeck without a single malfunction trapping him/her there.

Picard hears the door chime and doesn't bother to say "Come."

Picard doesn't answer a suggestion with "Make it so"!

Picard walks up to a replicator and says, "Coke on ice."

Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.

Mood rings come back in style, jeopardizing Counselor Troi's position.

Worf and Troi finally decide to get married, only to have Kate Pulaski show up and disrupt the wedding by shouting, "Did he read you love poetry?! Did he serve you poisonous tea?! He's MINE!"

When Worf tells the bridge officers that something is entering visual range no one says "On screen."

Worf actually gives another vessel more than 2 seconds to respond to one of the Enterprise's hails.

Worf kills Wesley by mistake in the holodeck, (pity this wasn't done in "Deja Vu" then we could have seen it 5 times without rewinding the tape).

Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates for being a smarmy git, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age for a change.

Wesley saves the ship, the Federation, and the Universe as we know it, and EVERYONE is grateful (including the Net).

The warp engines start acting up a bit, but then seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.

Wesley Crusher tries to upgrade the warp drive and they work better than ever.

Beverly Crusher manages to go through a whole episode without having a hot flush and getting breathless every time Picard is in the room.

Guinan forgets herself, and breaks into a stand up comedy routine.

Data falls in love with the replicator.

Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode. [or even: Kirk (or Riker) meets an attractive woman and does not fall in love. -psl]

The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.

An unknown ensign beams down as part of an away team and lives to tell the tale.

Spock or Data is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to him.

Kirk's hair remaining consistent for more that 1 consecutive episode.

Kirk gets into a fistfight and doesn't rip his shirt. (Or even, Kirk DOESN'T get into a fistfight...)

Kirk doesn't end up kissing the troubled guest-female before she doesn't sacrifice herself for him.

Scotty doesn't mention the laws of physics

Spock isn't the only crew member not affected by new weapon/attack by alien race/etc!! due to his "darn green blood" or "bizarre Vulcan physiology" and thus he cannot save the day.

The episode ends without Bones & Kirk laughing at Spock's inability to understand the joke, and he doesn't raise his eyebrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Another long day is in the can. bravo


Of coarse that means my weekend is over and I'm back at work. sad


Oh wait I worked today, never mind. wink


I had no weekend. woot


I guess I'll have one in a couple of more days. yay


I'm going to bed now and dream about how much work I have to do then. shocked


Have a happy day everybody.


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #978424
09/15/14 12:01 AM
09/15/14 12:01 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Happy Monday everyone! It's a corner day and a walk if it's nice out.

I wish you all a very happy day!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #978436
09/15/14 01:39 AM
09/15/14 01:39 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana and all. wave
First day at school yes
Have all a happy Monday. happydance smile


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Monday Mourning [Re: Haroula] #978438
09/15/14 01:50 AM
09/15/14 01:50 AM
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,264
Greece
Volkana Offline
Addicted Boomer
Volkana  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,264
Greece
Good morning everyone! Have a lovely Monday and a more lovely week kissy


Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free.
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #978454
09/15/14 04:36 AM
09/15/14 04:36 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula and Volkana. Joe don't work to hard. Ana I hope you are feeling better. Haroula hope the first day of school goes well! Volkana you have a lovely day too. Coffee is ready. Happy Day wished for All! wave wave


Gerry
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #978462
09/15/14 05:30 AM
09/15/14 05:30 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Off for a quick work whoosh once again. We haven't gotten our assignments yet, so it's off to the far away training store. crazy Have a great Monday, everyone. wave

EDIT: I just got a phone call from my trainer, and I know my assignment now! I actually get to flip flop between the two stores that are closest to me. yay And today, I apparently get the day off, so I got up for nothing. lol Oh, well, I'll have my breakfast and either go back to sleep or find something to do, depending on how I feel. Have a great day, everyone. summer

Last edited by venus; 09/15/14 06:07 AM.

Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #978469
09/15/14 06:51 AM
09/15/14 06:51 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers smile

Joe, have an easy workday if possible.

Ana, wishing you an easy corner day!

Haroula, first day of school is hard.

Volkana, have a good one.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee!

Venus, good news having a choice of stores. Enjoy whatever you decide to do for the day.

Getting chilly in the morning here. A dog walk is in store then some catching up gaming. Wishing everyone a wonderful day! puppy


Gail
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #978472
09/15/14 07:06 AM
09/15/14 07:06 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Still hot here, Gail. summer To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Monday. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. lab


Connie
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #978490
09/15/14 08:14 AM
09/15/14 08:14 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Oh no. You know what's going to happen if a certain moderator sees this....
Quote:
Kirk doesn't end up kissing the troubled guest-female before she doesn't sacrifice herself for him.
lol

Good morning boomers. Hope everyone has a merry Monday smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #978494
09/15/14 08:37 AM
09/15/14 08:37 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning. I was here at about 5:30 this morning but decided to lay down on my sofa and fell asleep. No work this morning so I wasn't in any hurry to get up. Lazy morning. I'm lovin it. So I hope you all are having a good day so far. I have to go to work later on this afternoon. Don't know what's in store for me yet. I'm gonna go over to our workout room. It's in the same building as the office, two buildings over. They have everything I want and it's all included in my rent. So, I guess that's what I'll be doing a little later.

Talk to you later. Smile smile

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #978512
09/15/14 09:43 AM
09/15/14 09:43 AM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer
flutist  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
Good morning my friends.

Midgie, smile

Orchestra tonight, tomorrow night, dinner at Vince's, Wed. Vince brings Winston over to stay with us till Sunday, Thursday ? Friday is Lyric day. yay

Gotta get to the bank this morning, so will get my tush in gear.

Bets


Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: flutist] #978515
09/15/14 09:50 AM
09/15/14 09:50 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and have a great Monday!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Daughter's wedding is this Friday! happydance hearts

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #978535
09/15/14 11:28 AM
09/15/14 11:28 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

We are on the "hubby will be home soon" countdown. He's had a good visit except for some hiccups between our credit card provider and his wifi provider in the UK.

Summer lingers...it is much too hot for this time of year.

Boys are living with us now, I guess, and then visiting with mom from time to time. Keeps us busy. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #978539
09/15/14 11:45 AM
09/15/14 11:45 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
manxman, Is there something in that statement I am missing. think

Good morning all! bad night but so far a good day. Enjoy your Monday!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #978557
09/15/14 12:54 PM
09/15/14 12:54 PM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 48,230
near Yosemite
Marian Offline
Global Moderator
Marian  Offline
Global Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 48,230
near Yosemite
Originally Posted By: BrownEyedTigre
manxman, Is there something in that statement I am missing. think

Good morning all! bad night but so far a good day. Enjoy your Monday!


Ana, I believe manxman was referencing Pandora/Sue, who has, shall we say, a fondness for Captain Kirk/William Shatner. laugh

Wishing a good day to all of you. smile

Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #978568
09/15/14 01:38 PM
09/15/14 01:38 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Ahhh....thanks Marian!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #978587
09/15/14 04:21 PM
09/15/14 04:21 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #978595
09/15/14 05:03 PM
09/15/14 05:03 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Happy afternoon everybody!! Was up at the cold crack of dawn to have the SUV to the shop and they drove me to walk all around the mall! It was a Brrr 39F out there.

Now time to get ready for some BINGO! Hope everybody is having a lovely day!!

Ana in the corner??? You really are fantastic to be able to do those walkthroughs one handed. praise

wave
Nan

Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #978623
09/15/14 09:43 PM
09/15/14 09:43 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
On my way to bed shortly. Ana I love Captain Kirk as well. I'm a Star Trek junkie from way back. Anything Star Trek. smile Hey Bets wave

See you in the AM. Split shift tomorrow. Sleep well Boomies. Joe can I have some BB pancakes in the morning pleaseandthankyou? Been awhile.

Night all

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #978632
09/15/14 11:41 PM
09/15/14 11:41 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Nan, have you checked your emails?

Sweet dreams all!


Don't feed the Trolls
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