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TGIF #979071
09/18/14 10:51 PM
09/18/14 10:51 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my shelf.
Robert Bloch (1917 - 1994)
~~~~~~~~~~~~


BOY SCOUTS VISIT US MILITARY

This is an exact replication of a National Public Radio interview between a female broadcaster and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL: I don't see why. They'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle
discipline before they even touch a firearm.
INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AUTOMOBILE ACRONYMS

What do these automobile acronyms actually mean?

Here goes….
AUDI: A Used Dodge Incognito
BMW: Bavarian Money Waster
BUICK: Big Ugly Idiot's Cat Killer
CHEVROLET: Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks Every Time
CHEVY: Cheapest Heap Ever Visualized Yet
CHRYSLER: Chrysler Has Raped Your Sanity Loser - Expect Repercussions
DAEWOO: [blip] Asian Engineering Works Only Occasionally
DODGE: Dear Old Dad's Garbage Engine
FIAT: Fix It Again, Tony
FORD: Ford Owners Recommend Dodge
GM: Genital Motors
HONDA: Horribly Overpriced, Needing Dad's Assistance
HYUNDAI: Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside
JEEP: Junk Everyone Eventually Piles
KIA: Korean Industrial Accident
MITSUBISHI: Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete
MOPAR: Move Over People Are Racing
NISSAN: Need I Say Something About Nothing
OLDSMOBILE: Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment
PONTIAC: Plan On Numerous Trips In Another Car
FORD: Falling Off Road Daily
HONDA: High ON Do it All
~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE RULES OF CHOCOLATE


If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution is simple: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings. Beautifully.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A. Because no one wants to quit.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


38 KINDER, GENTLER WAYS TO SAY SOMEONE IS STUPID

A few clowns short of a circus
A few fries short of a Happy Meal
An experiment in artificial stupidity
A few beers short of a six-pack
Dumber than a box of hair
A few peas short of a casserole
Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box
The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead
One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl
One taco short of a combo plate
A few feathers short of a whole duck
All foam, no beer
The cheese slid off the cracker
Body by Fisher - Brains by Mattel
Has an IQ of 2 and it takes 3 to grunt
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools
As smart as bait
Chimney's clogged
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash
Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor
Forgot to pay his brain bill
Her sewing machine's out of thread
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels
His belt doesn't go through all the loops
If he had another brain it would be lonely
Missing a few buttons on his remote control
No grain in the silo
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse
Receiver is off the hook
Several nuts short of a full pouch
Skylight leaks a little
Slinky's kinked
Surfing in Nebraska
Too much yardage between the goal posts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Ok, another looong day down the tubes. This one ended with one brother's arrival. bravo


Of course that was AFTER I cleaned every room in the house....alone. razz


The realtor came over before the appointment, and couldn't stop praising my efforts. praise


More More More...That's what I live for. snicker


The couple who looked at the house seemed to be very interested. Maybe it'll will sell sooner rather than later. happydance


My grandfather bought this place in the 30's, and it'll be sad to see it pass to someone else. cry


Change is inevitable from everything but vending machines.


At any rate, the repairs continue this weekend.


I mean the repairs to my aching muscles. rolleyes


Have a happy day everyone.


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #979073
09/18/14 11:29 PM
09/18/14 11:29 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, I know how hard it is to sell a family home, we sold ours that belonged to my family too. Unfortunately, it's the only way sometimes. hearts

Have a happy day all!

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #979077
09/19/14 01:52 AM
09/19/14 01:52 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning and have all a happy day. happydance smile wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #979083
09/19/14 04:59 AM
09/19/14 04:59 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana and Haroula. Joe you must have lots of memories in the old homestead. It's going to be hard to sell. Ana how are you doing? Haroula have a nice day. Coffee is ready! Happy Day everyone! wave wave


Gerry
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #979093
09/19/14 06:26 AM
09/19/14 06:26 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Joe, you will always have the memories. I wish you could keep the home. To all here and all that follow, have a Wonderful TGIF. Danish, Waffles, and Omelets in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #979105
09/19/14 07:39 AM
09/19/14 07:39 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Sorry you have to sell your home, Joe. sad Hope you find someone you like to buy it.

Have a great Friday, Ana.

Enjoy your day, Haroula.

Thanks for the coffee, Gerry.

Thanks for the delicious food, Connie.

Well, if the following weeks are like this week, I'm going to end up working very long days and having very long weekends. lol I have the next four days off, which would have been unheard of at my previous store. Now I've just got to figure out what I'm going to do with all that time. lol Today, I will definitely practice singing and maybe (okay, definitely grin) play a game. Perhaps I'll see if my friend wants to do something over the weekend. thumbsup

As for now, I'm off to find some breakfast. Have a terrific Friday, everyone. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #979114
09/19/14 09:10 AM
09/19/14 09:10 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, This sale has to be hard on you. Hugs!

Ana, wishing you a good day.

Haroula, happy day to you.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Connie, enjoy whatever plans you have today.

Venus, enjoy your long weekend. Hope you find something fun to do.

Lunch out with my cousin today then some fun shopping. A good day wished to All! kitty


Gail
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #979127
09/19/14 10:20 AM
09/19/14 10:20 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe I hope they like the house and treat it as well as you have! HUGS! Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Ana hope that wrist is better today and the shoulder is feeling and healing well! Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for starting the coffee and have a lovely day!

venus at least you are getting work hours!!!! Enjoy the time you have off cause you know what is right around the corner! lol Have a lovely day!

Connie hope something fun pops up to do! Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Gail enjoy lunch with your cousin and have fun shopping! Have a lovely day!

Me and Sassy have a extra long walk in and now a little gaming. Then this afternoon I will be off to work the fish fry!

wave
Nan

Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #979141
09/19/14 11:36 AM
09/19/14 11:36 AM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yea Joe, it's always sad when time moves on but not out feelings like when I gave my S-10 to the local mechanic. I had that little truck 20 years -it took me to work nights, it hauled grain and hay, it bailed out my son when he needed a truck andandand......It will soon be a year but I still miss it. But life goes on, you will like your new home. What will happen to the kitties?

On a lighter note........my radio arrived!!!! The quiet was nice but so's the noise, I even listened to "The San Antonio Stroll" good music although I prefer classical. Posting now so it can have a rest.

We've had rain for days and days now and it's so green and you can just taste the oxygen -uuuhm good. Cats go out and come in all spikey haired and then they wash and wash and sleep and sleep. Groceries tomorrow, must make a list and menu


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #979145
09/19/14 12:47 PM
09/19/14 12:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

WooHooo, hubby is home! Off to work this morning but I can call him if I want happydance

Busy morning here, looking to be a busy night.

It's finally turning into fall here! wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: GBC] #979150
09/19/14 01:54 PM
09/19/14 01:54 PM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer
Drmojo  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Hi Boom Boom Buddies wave



Hope every Boomer has a very good day summer
we are having a Indian summer! woot Karen

anybody got any cures for a plugged wax ear?? blush


"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #979151
09/19/14 01:58 PM
09/19/14 01:58 PM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
flutist Offline
Adept Boomer
flutist  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 11,505
Kirkwood, MO USA
Hiya everyone.

It's Lyric day. Everything is ready for her. Just waiting for the phone call to say, "come and get her". Went to Petsmart and bought her a pretty turquoise collar. Have to get a name tag. If she has not been chipped, will see to that later.

Took Winston for a walk, then after lunch we took Winston and Cory. Will take Lyric by herself later today.

Well, I'm gonna play for a while to help pass the time.

Have a good day everyone.

Bets


Corgis fill your life with Joy, your heart with Love, and your soul with Sunshine.
Re: TGIF [Re: flutist] #979163
09/19/14 03:39 PM
09/19/14 03:39 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,256
Phoenix, AZ USA
luv2travel Offline
Addicted Boomer
luv2travel  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,256
Phoenix, AZ USA
I'm so happy for you, Bets! puppy
Andrea kitty

Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #979167
09/19/14 04:43 PM
09/19/14 04:43 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Yes, the weekend is here. happydance


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #979190
09/19/14 07:23 PM
09/19/14 07:23 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,024
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,024
Unionville
Hi boomers wave from Leyland, England. Having a good time visiting with relatives haven't seen in 35 years. Hope everyone is having a fantastic Friday smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #979202
09/19/14 09:02 PM
09/19/14 09:02 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Night all. See you in the morning. I have the morning off. yay

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #979206
09/19/14 10:00 PM
09/19/14 10:00 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Ahhhh, tired mama here. Bedtime. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #979213
09/19/14 11:43 PM
09/19/14 11:43 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
sweet dreams all...


Don't feed the Trolls
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