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#979408 - Yesterday at 08:16 PM Sip & Surf Sunday
gymcandy1 Offline
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 30026
Loc: Mead, Oklahoma
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
Paula Poundstone
~~~~~~~~~~~~~


FUNNY CELEBRITY QUOTES

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading." Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said, "Thyroid
problem?" Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods

"Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment
turns the state into a gay dungeon-master." Rev. Jesse Jackson

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-b----." Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet" Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked." Jerry Seinfield

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a [blip], and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The head doctors in a lunatic asylum have a meeting and decide that one of their patients is potentially well. So they decide to test him and take him to the movies.

When they get to the movie theater, there are 'wet paint' signs pointing to the benches. The doctors just sit down but the patient puts a newspaper down first and then sits down.

The doctors get all excited because they think he may be in touch with reality now. So they ask him: "Why did you put the newspaper down first?"

He answers: "So I'd be higher and have a better view."
~~~~~~~~~~


IQ TEST

Intelligence Test Instructions: Write each of your answers down, it makes a difference! You will be allowed 10 minutes to complete the test. Write your answers in the spaces provided. Are you ready ? What is the time?

Start.

1) Some months have 30 days,some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days? ____________________

2) If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour, how long would it be before all the pills had been taken? ____________________

3) I went to bed at eight o'clock in the evening and wound up my clock and set the alarm to sound at nine o'clock in the morning. How many hours sleep would I get before being awoken by the alarm? ____________________

4) Divide 30 by half and add ten. What do you get?____________________

5) A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many live sheep were left? ___________________

6) If you had only one match and entered a COLD and DARK room, where there was an oil heater, an oil lamp and a candle, which would you light first? ____________________

7) A man builds a house with four sides of rectangular construction, each side having a southern exposure. A big bear comes along. What color is the bear? ____________________

8) Take 2 apples from 3 apples. What do you have? ___________________

9) How many animals of each species did Moses take with him in the Ark? ____________________

10) If you drove a bus with 43 people on board from Chicago and stopped at Pittsburg to pick up 7 more people and drop off 5 passengers and at Cleveland to drop off 8 passengers and pick up 4 more and eventually arrive at Philadelphia 20 hours later, what's the name of the driver? ____________________

Answers in the following article - no cheating now! GOOD LUCK!

____________________________________________________

Answers:
1) All of them. Every month has at least 28 days.
2) 1 hour. If you take a pill at 1 o'clock,then another at 1.30 and the last at 2 o'clock,they will be taken in 1 hour.
3) 1 hour. It is a wind up alarm clock which cannot discriminate between a.m. and p.m.
4) 70. Dividing by half is the same as multiplying by 2.
5) 9 live sheep.
6) The match.
7) White. If all walls face south, the house must be on the North Pole.
8) 2 apples. I HAVE 3 APPLES, YOU TAKE 2, WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
9) None. It was Noah, not Moses.
10) YOU are the driver.

Grading Scale (out of 10)

8+ Engineer
7 Student
6 High school pupil
5 Primary school pupil
4 Teacher
3 College lecturer
2 University lecturer
1 Member of Congress
~~~~~~~~~~~

SHORT SNOW JOKES

What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder!

What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!

What's an ig?
An eskimo's home without a loo!

What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!

Where do snowmen go to dance?
Snowballs!

How do snowmen travel around?
By icicle!

What sort of ball doesn't bounce?
A snowball!

How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!

What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?
Frost bite!

How do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Good morning everyboomie. welcome


I'm making a mad dash for the bed again.


I woke up last night at 1:30, and my head was throbbing . rolleyes


I had to get up and go out to my truck to get some headache tabs, and then try and go back to sleep.


I didn't get much sleep. tired


I am bone tired, and my boss called to ask me to come in tomorrow at 6am instead of 7. razz


One brother left today, the other in the morning, and that will leave me home alone again. bravo


Gotta get to bed now. I'll tell you about our house repairs tomorrow, ok. thumbsup


Have a happy day everyone. yes



joe
_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

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#979413 - Yesterday at 08:43 PM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64945
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Joe take care of yourself and don't run yourself ragged. When do you move in your new house?

Darlene, how was the wedding???? hearts

Have a happy day all!
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#979421 - Yesterday at 10:00 PM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Midge Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 04/30/00
Posts: 14639
Loc: Massachusetts
Just on my way to bed. I have an early split shift tomorrow. Thanks for opening Joe. Please take it easy. We all need you. Hey Ana. How are you feeling?

See you all in the morning.
Midgie hearts
_________________________
Just do it.

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#979435 - Today at 02:47 AM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7669
Loc: Greece
Good morning all,have a relaxing Sunday. smile happydance wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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#979440 - Today at 04:56 AM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Kaki's Sister Offline
Graduate Boomer

Registered: 11/21/04
Posts: 17161
Loc: Marlborough USA
Good Morning Joe, Ana, Midgie and Haroula. Joe hope your headache feels better. Are you drinking enough fluids? Maybe you are getting dehydrated. Ana how are doing? Midgie sleep well. Haroula have a nice day. Coffee is ready. Happy Day wished for All! wave wave
_________________________
Gerry

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#979448 - Today at 06:55 AM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
GBC Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 07/06/07
Posts: 14434
Loc: Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, hope you feel better and have an easy day today.

Ana, hope you enjoy whatever the day brings today.

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Midgie, wishing you an easy workday.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Church this morning. Rainy day today. Nice gaming day!
_________________________
Gail

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#979450 - Today at 07:29 AM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
connie Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 07/12/02
Posts: 8073
Loc: winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Joe and Ana, Hugs. Breakfast out and a Costco trip today. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Sunday. Danish, Eggs, Bacon, Sausage, Ham, Home Fries, Toast, and Pancakes in the NC. summer
_________________________
Connie

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#979451 - Today at 07:33 AM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Space Quest Fan Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 02/17/01
Posts: 9527
Loc: Columbus,Ohio USA
Good morning everyone. wave
_________________________
It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.

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#979456 - Today at 08:13 AM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 5423
Loc: Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Sorry to hear that, Joe. sad Hope you have a better day today!

Hope you have a great Sunday, Ana.

Hope your split shift goes well, Midge.

Enjoy your Sunday, Haroula.

Have a happy day, too, Gerry.

Hope church goes well, and have a fun gaming day, Gail. smile

Enjoy breakfast and your trip to Costco, Connie. thumbsup

Good morning, Space Quest.

It's day three of my four day weekend. Time is, of course, going by quickly. grin It looks like it may rain here, so it appears it will be a perfect gaming day for me also. smile Which works out as I'm not feeling the best this morning. Hopefully as the day goes on, that will change.

Okay off to find some breakfast if and when kitty version Venus lets me get up. lol Have a great Sunday, everyone. summer

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#979469 - Today at 09:58 AM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64945
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Midgie, don't work too hard!

Haroula, how is your back doing?

Gerry, are the leaves turning colors yet?

Gail, enjoy your gaming day!

Connie, how is your SIL and son doing?

SpaceQ, have a happy day!

venus, enjoy your day 3!

It's a work day for me and I'll get my walk in at some point. I am in dire need of a chiropractor and massage, I feel like a twisted trainwreck. lol Hopefully I can have both soon.
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#979484 - Today at 10:55 AM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer

Registered: 06/10/06
Posts: 13643
Loc: northern Wisconsin
Aw Joe, hope your head felt better when you got up for work this morning. HUGS! Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Ana prayers you start having more good days then bad moments! HUGS! When do they do the other shoulder? May the project move right along for you and you have a lovely day!

Midge may work be fun and go well. Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Gail enjoy church and have a nice relaxing afternoon. Rainy days are for gaming....enjoy!

Connie enjoy breakfast out and have fun shopping. Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Space have a lovely day!

venus enjoy your third day off and Happy gaming. Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

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#979494 - Today at 12:01 PM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
BrownEyedTigre Online   happy
The Sassy Global Moderator PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 64945
Loc: In the Naughty Corner
Nan, I shouldn't complain. I am more mentally frustrated and just want to be more active. I feel like I am wearing a straight jacket 24 hours a day. THe other shoulder should be done around New Year. As soon as I can do daily care of myself with my right arm such as eating and such.
What's on your agenda?
_________________________
Don't feed the Trolls

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#979501 - Today at 12:15 PM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 7228
Loc: San Diego, CA
Raccoons all over the place. Mom, Dad, 4 little ones (big as mom and dad now). They come and go every few weeks, but for the last few days, every night. Last night, they all 'attacked' the food table (where I now have a 'critter cam' and ate all the leftovers. Then the Outdoorsies came for a late night snack and there was nothing left, so I went out and put a can of wet food and a bit of dry food. They ate and then the raccoons, who must have been in the trees watching, attacked again and ate everything in sight. So cute. At one point, my oldest feral, Spot, was eating some of the wet food, and Momma Raccoon came up on the table behind her and since Spot is almost deaf now, she didn't hear her. Raccoon didn't bother Spot, and when Spot saw her, she just continued eating. I think they have a 'truce' or something. Scared me since old Spot is slow and fragile. I was ready to jump up and run out at any second. All the Outdoorsies seem to co-exist nicely.
_________________________
WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.

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#979503 - Today at 12:40 PM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
looney4labs Offline
GB Reviewer Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Registered: 04/05/04
Posts: 42275
Loc: Alabama
Super Sunday ya'll puppy

I think the hubby and the son and I are going to be gaming today, depending on the state of son's migraine. The computer makes it worse. Boys went to mom's yesterday afternoon for a bit and will be back here in a bit. wave
_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras

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#979505 - Today at 12:53 PM Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1]
Haroula Offline
BAAG Specialist

Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 7669
Loc: Greece
Ana,I'm feeling much better,thanks
for asking wink
I hope you are feeling too. yes wave
_________________________

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.



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