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Saturday #979208
09/19/14 10:41 PM
09/19/14 10:41 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn something new.
Og Mandino (1923 - 1996)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A lawyer was trying to console a weeping widow. Her husband had passed away without a will.

"Did the deceased have any last words?" asked the lawyer.

"You mean right before he died?" sobbed the window.

"Yes," replied the lawyer, "they might be helpful if it's not too painful for you to recall."

"Well," she began, "he said 'Don't try to scare me. You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with that gun.'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Willie asked his mother: "Mamma, don't soldiers ever go to heaven?"

"Of course they do!" protested his mother. "What makes you ask?"

"There are so many soldiers with beards but I never saw any pictures of angels with beards."

"Oh, that's because most men who go to Heaven get there by a close shave."
~~~~~~~~~~

SIGNS YOU'RE GETTING TOO OLD FOR TRICK OR TREATING

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.

9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

8. You ask for high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.

6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.

5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GUIDE TO STAYING STRESSED

Are you worried now about how to stay stressed? You'll have no trouble if you practice the following clinically proven methods:

NEVER EXERCISE. Exercise wastes a lot of time that could be spent worrying.

EAT ANYTHING YOU WANT. Hey, if cigarette smoke can't cleanse your system, a balanced diet isn't likely to.

GAIN WEIGHT. Work hard at staying at least 25 pounds over your recommended weight.

TAKE PLENTY OF STIMULANTS. The old standards of caffeine, nicotine, sugar, and cola will continue to do the job just fine.

AVOID "WOO-WOO" PRACTICES. Ignore the evidence suggesting that meditation, yoga, deep breathing, and/or mental imaging help to reduce stress. Be a man! That goes for women too.

GET RID OF YOUR SOCIAL SUPPORT SYSTEM. Let the few friends who are willing to tolerate you know that you concern yourself with friendships only if you have time, and you never have time. If a few people persist in trying to be your friend, avoid them.

PERSONALIZE ALL CRITICISM. Anyone who criticizes any aspect of your work, family, dog, house, or car is mounting a personal attack. Don't take time to listen, be offended, then return the attack!

MALES AND FEMALES ALIKE - BE MACHO. Never ever ask for help, and if you want it done right, do it yourself!

BECOME A WORKAHOLIC. Put work before everything else, and be sure to take work home evenings and weekends. Keep reminding yourself that vacations are for sissies.

DISCARD GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS. Schedule in more activities every day than you can possibly get done and then worry about it all whenever you get a chance.

PROCRASTINATE. Putting things off to the last second always produces a marvelous amount of stress.

WORRY ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL. Worry about the stock market, earthquakes, the approaching Ice Age, you know, all the big issues.

THROW OUT YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR. Staying stressed is no laughing matter, and it shouldn't be treated as one.
~~~~~~~~~~~

When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh...the Sixth...the Fifth..." Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing."
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Welcome to the weekend! yay

Well I'm working at 6am , and I have my brothers here, I have a headache, and I gotta get to bed ASAP. smirk

I wish you all a splendifferous day. thumbsup


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1] #979210
09/19/14 11:25 PM
09/19/14 11:25 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
I hope you awaken headache free Joe and that your brothers help with the house. When do you move?

Have a great day all! hearts


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1] #979235
09/20/14 04:29 AM
09/20/14 04:29 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning and have all a great day. smile happydance wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1] #979241
09/20/14 05:16 AM
09/20/14 05:16 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Joe, Ana and Haroula. Joe hope your visit with your brothers is helpful. Ana how are you doing? Haroula have a nice day. Coffee is on Sue. Wishing everyone a stress free day! wave


Gerry
Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1] #979249
09/20/14 06:53 AM
09/20/14 06:53 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Online content
Graduate Boomer
connie  Online Content
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Joe, I hope your headache is gone this morning. The boys leave for North Florida to work for about a month. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Saturday. Danish, Assorted Rolls, BB Pancakes, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. summer


Connie
Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1] #979279
09/20/14 09:42 AM
09/20/14 09:42 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good morning everyone. Have a great Saturday!


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1] #979288
09/20/14 10:06 AM
09/20/14 10:06 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hope your headache is gone, and your brothers take it easy on you, Joe.

Have a great day, Ana. Hope you're feeling better!

Have a great day, too, Haroula.

Hope your day is also stress free, Gerry.

Hope the boys' trip and work go well for them, Connie. Thanks for the delicious breakfast. smile

Have a great Saturday as well, Space Quest.

It's day two of my four day weekend. Left to my own devices, my natural nocturnal tendencies are taking over once again. lol Oh, well, once my early days start, things should normalize again. Thorsgoats is working this evening, so I'll have plenty of time to sing as loudly as I want, provided I don't do it too late and disturb the neighbors. grin Of course, they're loud at all hours of the night, so really I would just blend right in, anyway. crazy

And now, I'm off to find some breakfast. Have a great Saturday, everyone. summer


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1] #979355
09/20/14 03:10 PM
09/20/14 03:10 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Good morning, Again wave

I woke up early and hung with the boys, and then went back to bed. Woke to escalating growling. Don't know what Seagy was upset with, but it worked well as an alarm clock wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1] #979360
09/20/14 03:31 PM
09/20/14 03:31 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Wow the day is half gone already! lol Got up and took Sassy for our long walk and then got ready and headed out to walk somemore at our East End Days rummage sales for miles along and attached to the main road in East End!!

Was fun! Met my daughter and granddaughter and little Tommy. Ran into my niece and her hubby and all kinds of friends. Started out cloudy but they left and the sun came out and it has turned into a lovely day!!

Hope everybody is having a lovely day!!!

wave
Nan

Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1] #979372
09/20/14 04:17 PM
09/20/14 04:17 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Stopping in to say hi. I'm ready to go to work very soon and realized I hadn't checked in the diner today. I hope you're all having a super day.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Saturday [Re: Midge] #979406
09/20/14 08:00 PM
09/20/14 08:00 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
See you all tomorrow. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1] #979412
09/20/14 08:41 PM
09/20/14 08:41 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
hi everyone! Busy day today running around with hubby doing errands, an art show and a run at the river. My arm was bugging me today from all the activity and just as I was telling hubby I was getting frustrated with it, we were ready to walk in a store and a man in a wheelchair with no legs came out and it shut me up mid sentence. Sometimes we need a good slap to remind us how well we have it.

Hope you all are enjoying your day.

Gerry, I still have good days and bad. I am looking forward to October 7th and hopefully getting my sling off then!

Ana


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Saturday [Re: gymcandy1] #979424
09/20/14 10:18 PM
09/20/14 10:18 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Hugs, Ana!

Sleepw well all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
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