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Tuesday's #979702
09/22/14 11:01 PM
09/22/14 11:01 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
One man's folly is another man's wife.
Helen Rowland (1876 - 1950)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


REAL STATE LAWS


These are real standing laws from around the United States of America.

Alabama: 1. It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.

California: 1. Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.

Connecticut: 1. You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour. 2. You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.

Florida: 1. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. 2. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. 3. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. 4. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. 5. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

Illinois: 1. It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.

Iowa: 1. Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.

Kentucky: 1. By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground." 2. It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.

Louisiana: 1. It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol. 2. Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."

Massachusetts: 1. Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches. 2. Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked. 3. An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public. 4. Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.

Nebraska: 1. A parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.

New Mexico: 1. Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.

New York: 1. A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

North Dakota: 1. Beer & pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.

Ohio: 1. Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.

Oklahoma: 1. Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog. 2. Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state. 3. Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.

Pennsylvania: 1. A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling. 2. No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.

Rhode Island: 1. It is illegal to throw pickle juice at a trolley.

Texas: 1. A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit. 2. It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

Vermont: 1. Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one bath each week -- on Saturday night.

Washington: 1. All lollipops are banned. 2. A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YOU ARE NO LONGER "COOL" WHEN...


You find yourself listening to talk radio.

You daughter says she got pierced and you look at her ears.

The pattern on your shorts and couch match.

You fondly remember your powder blue leisure suit.

You think Tragically Hip is when a middle-aged man gets a new sports car, hair piece and a 20 year old girlfriend.

You criticize the kids of today for their satanic suicide-inducing music, forgetting that you rocked to Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath.

You call the police on a noisy party next door instead of grabbing beer and joining it.

You turn down free tickets to a rock concert because you have to work the next day.

When grass is something that you cut, not cultivate.

When jogging is something you do to your memory.

Getting a little action means your prune juice is working.

All the cars behind you flash their headlights.

You remember the "Rolling Stones" as a rock group not a corporation.

You bought your first car for the same price you paid for your son's new running shoes.

You actually ASK for your father's advice.

You don't know how to operate a fax machine.

When someone mentions SURFING you picture waves and a surf board.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

POLICE QUOTES

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"Just how big were those two beers?

"In God we trust, all others are suspects."
~~~~~~~~~~

RULES OF DIETING


If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda. (This rule also applies to mixed drinks. Example: rum and diet coke)

When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if they eat more than you do.

When you eat with someone else, your calories don't count if they eat more than you do.

Calories in food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count. Examples: hot chocolate, brandy and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

If you fatten everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

Movie related foods (Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because everyone knows that movies aren't real.

When preparing food, things licked off spoons and knives have no calories. Examples: peanut butter on a knife when making a sandwich; ice cream on a spoon when making a sundae; cake frosting.

Broken cookie pieces contain no fat. It leaks out.

Foods that are the the same color have the same number of calories, Examples: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. (Note: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.)

Calories are a unit of heat. Therefore, frozen foods have no calories. Examples include ice cream, frozen pies and Popsicles.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


If you're happy this morning let me see you show it.


Don't make any noise though, I'm still sleeping.


I'm joking.........


No I'm not.........


Oh go ahead and make some noise. I probably won't hear you anyway.


Too far away.


I'm not sure what I'll be doing today, but I know it won't be this.


My purple dress is in the wash.


Whatever I do though, I'll make it a good day................rain or shine.



Hope you all have a good day too.



joe



Last edited by gymcandy1; 09/22/14 11:04 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #979705
09/22/14 11:27 PM
09/22/14 11:27 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, you mean my dogs need to stop smoking? lol

Have a wonderful day Joe and all. Last day for this project and then there will be house cleaning.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #979706
09/22/14 11:27 PM
09/22/14 11:27 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
lol Have a great Tuesday, Joe.

It's late Monday night for me which makes it officially the end of my four day weekend. Kind of sad, but then it's important to go back to work so I can actually make money. grin Tomorrow I'll most likely be going in a bit later than usual as I'll only have to go to the stores that are closer to me. thumbsup Not sure exactly what time yet. Either the trainer will call me, or I'll call her if she hasn't called by 8:30/9:00 or so.

As for now, I'm off to sleep. Have a great Tuesday, everyone. fall

EDIT: Hope your project goes well, Ana. smile

Last edited by venus; 09/22/14 11:28 PM.

Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #979722
09/23/14 01:46 AM
09/23/14 01:46 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning and have all a happy Tuesday. happydance wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Tuesday's [Re: Haroula] #979732
09/23/14 04:13 AM
09/23/14 04:13 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Ana,Venus,Haroula,and all who are to follow waveCoffee is ready! Have a great day everyone fall


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #979737
09/23/14 05:35 AM
09/23/14 05:35 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
fall Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus, Haroula and Sue. Joe love your smileys! Ana sounds like you are doing good. Venus Good Luck at work. Haroula enjoy your day. Sue thanks for the coffee. Happy Day Everyone! Fall is here! fall


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #979750
09/23/14 07:11 AM
09/23/14 07:11 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Danish, Waffles, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. Still waiting for fall here. fall


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #979755
09/23/14 08:01 AM
09/23/14 08:01 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers catrub

Joe, enjoy the day!

Ana, is housework better than projects?

Venus, hope you get a permanent schedule soon.

Sue, coffee please and thank you.

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Gerry, have a great day.

Connie, Danish sounds good this morning.

Wishing everyone a wonderful Fall season. I love the brisk mornings and the beautiful colors. fall


Gail
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #979776
09/23/14 10:32 AM
09/23/14 10:32 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe enjoy your day off doing what ever you want to do!! Thanks for the laughs and have a lovely day!

Ana I think I would rather project then house clean. lol Have fun! Hope the shoulder is healing well and no more shivering. Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

venus I hope they call you early! Soon you will be on your own. Have a lovely day!

Sue thanks for starting the coffee and have a lovely day!

Gerry have a lovely day!

Connie we are finally having a little Summer! Hope Fall arrives soon for you! Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Gail It has been brisk here in the mornings too. that's when me and Sassy take our looooong walk. Hope something fun pops up to do. Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #979785
09/23/14 10:59 AM
09/23/14 10:59 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! For all of you that asked, I would much rather clean than work. lol Being tied to the desk is pure torture for me. grin

It's fall here too and chilly in the mornings but warming up nicely during the day. This week is one of the loveliest weeks we have had in awhile.

Have a happy day all! I have a lot to squeeze in today.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #979802
09/23/14 12:13 PM
09/23/14 12:13 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Good afternoon boomers. Hope everyone has a terrific Tuesday smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #979803
09/23/14 12:16 PM
09/23/14 12:16 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Happy Autumn to everyone! It's a perfect day here. Cool, and clouds just a bit, and cool sea breeze with probably a nice 77 at the most today.

Penelope the Peacock was waiting for me this morning after 3 or 4 days of no show. She was hungry for 'something'. Came right up to me. I handed her a grape, she dumped it after one 'grab'. Tried another. No go. Got an oatmeal breakfast bar. One bite and that was rejected. Got a Hawaiian Sweet Roll, which peaked her interest and she ate half of it, from my hand. Interesting. Followed me around the deck looking for good stuff I might have. Finally I 'watered' the deck plants and a bit on the grass/dirt nearby and she was happy. She waits for bugs to crawl out of the wet ground. She's happy now.

Waiting anxiously for the Water Company to arrive at the old man's empty house. Will update the Sorta's Neighborhood thread if they appear. So far they have shut off Electric and Gas. It's a start. Next Water and then hopefully, Hazmat comes and sweeps the place and has it boarded up 'again'. So tired of all the drama over there. Still a TON of goodies that the thieves haven't managed to loot. I'm looking forward to an empty lot or at least a for sale sign.

Off to lunch today with my old school chums. Always fun, lots of laughs and gossip. happydance


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: Sorta Blonde] #979812
09/23/14 12:58 PM
09/23/14 12:58 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope you have a terrific Tuesday!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Had a fantastically relaxing day yesterday, Hubby and I looking over videos of daughter's wedding. So much fun! hearts

Today, we are taking some friends who are here for the wedding to our local winery for some wine tasting, and then maybe Taco Tuesday for dinner... smile

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot....


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #979823
09/23/14 02:23 PM
09/23/14 02:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

Fall is here happydance It's still hot, but much more pleasant out there. Dewpoint is down and that is a biggie! I grabbed the doggies and we went to the park this morning for the first time in what seems like forever. Then home to feed everyone and clean a little. Now my back is talking so it's time to sit and sip and surf before Bible Study. Due to various conflicts, we haven't been together for a bit.

Boys will be here in a bit wave

Sorta, I know Penelope loves you....buffet time.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #979834
09/23/14 04:11 PM
09/23/14 04:11 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good adfternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #979868
09/23/14 09:47 PM
09/23/14 09:47 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
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