These are British groaners.
-1.I’ve got a friend who has got a butler whose left arm is missing; s----- him right
-2.I saw this advert that said ‘Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full’ I thought ‘I can’t t--- that d---’
-3.I went to the local supermarket. I said ‘I want to make a complaint; this vinegar’s got lumps in it’ He said ‘Those are p------ o----s’
-4.I used go out with an anaesthetist; she was a l---- g---
5.I’ve got a front door made from sponge; don’t k---- it
-6.I threw some snow at my girlfriend; she didn’t catch my d----
-7.When I left home, my mum said ‘Don’t forget to write’ I thought ‘That’s unlikely; it’s a b---- s----, isn’t it?’
-8.When it comes to cosmetic surgery, a lot of people turn their n---- up
9.I’ll tell you what makes my blood boil; c----------s
-10.So this lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a t-----
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