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Frumpy Friday #982638
10/10/14 12:50 AM
10/10/14 12:50 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to see the present only when it is already disappearing.
R. D. Laing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two married men are in a pub discussing their love life when one says, "Have you ever tried playing doctor?"

His mate says, "No what's it like?"

The man replies, "It's amazing me and my wife were playing for the whole of last night must of been about 10 hours."

His mate, shocked says, "10 hours!? How the hell did you manage that long?"

"I just left her in waiting room for 9 and a half hours."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper.

"Tell me! Did you find her?!" Wilkens shouted.

The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."

The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay."

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "what's the good news?"

The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound king crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her."

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"

The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A Jewish boy asks his father if he can borrow fifty dollars.

His father replies: "Forty dollars, why do you need thirty dollars?!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Management Course
Lesson #1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, ???I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.??? After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.



When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ???Who was that????


???It was Bob the next door neighbor,??? she replies.



???Great,??? the husband says, ???did he say anything about the $800 he owes me????

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lesson #2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.



The nun said, ???Father, remember Psalm 129????



The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.



The nun once again said, ???Father, remember Psalm 129????



The priest apologized, ???Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.???



Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.


On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ???Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.???

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lesson #3:

A sales representative, an administration clerk, and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.



The Genie says, ???I'll give each of you just one wish.???


???Me first! Me first!??? says the administration clerk. ???I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world. ???Puff!??? She's gone.

???Me next! Me next!??? says the sales representative. ???I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life. ???Puff!??? He's gone.



???OK, you're up,??? the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, ???I want those two back in the office after lunch.???

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lesson #4:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. ???I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree??? sighed the turkey, ???but I haven't got the energy.???


???Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings???? replied the bull. ???They're packed with nutrients.???



The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.


The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
BS might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


It's nice to be off for 24 hours, but it's also midnight of a very long day.....again. tired


I'll leave to door open, and the light on for ya. thumbsup


Come on in and make yourself at home. yes


Just call me Tom Bodett while you're at it. snicker


Have a happy day everybody. penguin



joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 10/10/14 12:50 AM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #982640
10/10/14 01:32 AM
10/10/14 01:32 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Have a happy day too Joe and all who come in later.
Time for my walk. happydance smile wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #982644
10/10/14 03:55 AM
10/10/14 03:55 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good morning and have a great Friday Joe, Haroula and all who come in after me. wave

For those who asked, kitty version Venus is doing much better. bravo I'll go into more detail tomorrow. smile As for now, I'm off for yet another work whoosh. wave

Have a terrific Friday, everyone. fall


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #982648
10/10/14 04:54 AM
10/10/14 04:54 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
fall Good Morning Joe, Haroula and venus. Joe you do sound weary. woozy Haroula enjoy your walk. happydance I'll be walking when the sun comes up. Venus I'mglad to hear kitty venus is doing better. kitty Coffee is ready. Happy day All! fall


Gerry
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #982659
10/10/14 06:46 AM
10/10/14 06:46 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. I'll be walking also when the sun comes up. Later today we're supposed to go to city hall to see about a home owners permit for a new roof. The boys will do the work. To all here and all who follow, have a Great TGIF. Danish, BB Pancakes, and Omelets in the NC. fall


Connie
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #982664
10/10/14 08:11 AM
10/10/14 08:11 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers rah

Joe, have a wonderful Friday.

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Gerry, coffee sounds great!

Venus, glad kitty is doing better.

Connie, good luck with the roof.

Wishing everyone a fantastic Friday! fall


Gail
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #982668
10/10/14 08:18 AM
10/10/14 08:18 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Good morning boomers. Have a fantastic Friday everyone smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #982679
10/10/14 09:31 AM
10/10/14 09:31 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning. I'm at work, waiting for Barbara to wake up again. It's quiet in here. I hope you all are having a good day so far. I'll be back later.

Midgiehearts

Last edited by Midge; 10/10/14 09:40 AM.

Just do it.
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: Midge] #982695
10/10/14 11:30 AM
10/10/14 11:30 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Have a happy Frumpy Friday!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Home from work with a migraine...not how I want to spend my Friday.

Hope every 'Boomie's Friday is fantastic!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #982699
10/10/14 12:05 PM
10/10/14 12:05 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

Whew, it's good to be back. We spent the day yesterday with in the dark ages. The electricity blinked on and off, on and off for no reason for most of the day. No reason, no storms. Just on for 5 minutes, off for one, on for one, off for two, rinse and repeat. When it finally stopped doing that, cable went out. Since our phone is through cable, that meant no phone and no net for most of the day. Soooooooooooooooo annoying, but today is better..thank you God!

Son just left with the boys on a solo camping trip. We camped all the time when the kids were home, but this is new for him being the adult in all this. He is doing a good job. Depending on how tomorrow goes, hubby and I may grab the dogs and go out for a couple of hours. They are going about an hour and a half from here. It only has 10 primitive spots, so plans could change. We shall see.

Joe, love the quote. So true.

Haroula wave

Venus, so glad catrub is doing much better.

Gerry, what's up for you today?

Connie, hope all goes smoothly with the roof. That's a big project.

Gail, anything fun on tap today?

Manx wave

Midgie, hope the day stays quiet.

Darlene, so sorry you are ill. Hope recovery comes quickly.

I'll be taking the monkeys out for a stroll in a bit, once the coffee/tea tank is full wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #982711
10/10/14 12:51 PM
10/10/14 12:51 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Off to the hospital to see baby James. Please send prayers for my little guy, we are not heading in a positive direction. hearts


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #982725
10/10/14 01:16 PM
10/10/14 01:16 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Oh, Ana, prayers and hugs going up.


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #982733
10/10/14 01:49 PM
10/10/14 01:49 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Ana, Prayers and Positive thoughts on the way. Hugs


Connie
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #982734
10/10/14 01:52 PM
10/10/14 01:52 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Ana I'm sending my prayers straight to you and Baby James and Sam. She must be so worried. Hugs and more hugs.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: Midge] #982736
10/10/14 01:58 PM
10/10/14 01:58 PM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 48,228
near Yosemite
Marian Offline
Global Moderator
Marian  Offline
Global Moderator
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 48,228
near Yosemite
Ana hearts

And I am sorry about your migraine, Darlene - hope it eases up so that you can enjoy at least part of your day.

Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #982739
10/10/14 02:16 PM
10/10/14 02:16 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Ana sending HUGS and Prayers!!! hearts

Darlene may your migraine be a thing of the past soonest!!! hearts

Busy morning here but me and Sassy got a mile walk in! Now to get things together and head out for to work the fish fry.

Have a lovely day all!!

wave
Nan

Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #982775
10/10/14 06:04 PM
10/10/14 06:04 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Welcome to the weekend Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #982798
10/10/14 09:15 PM
10/10/14 09:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Night all. See you in the morning. Sleep well.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Frumpy Friday [Re: gymcandy1] #982814
10/10/14 10:48 PM
10/10/14 10:48 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Any weekend plans, Space?

Sweet dreams, Midgy.

son just called to say they found a scorpion in the fire pit. I had no idea we had scorpions in AL eek

Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
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