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Monday Mourning #983114
10/12/14 10:42 PM
10/12/14 10:42 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.
Jeff Foxworthy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started Writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a ****-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well .........?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38" DD bust, 24" waist and 34" hips.
When she walks into a room, everybody says, "Oh My God."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR FAMILY IS STRESSED...

10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".

9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.

8. The cat is on Valium.

7. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.

6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.

5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.

4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.

3. "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.

2. You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.

1. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TOP TEN WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE PMS...

10. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

9. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet

8. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

7. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

6. You're using your cell phone to dial up bumper stickers that says, "How's my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT."

5. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

4. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.

3. You're counting down the days until menopause.

2. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

1. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND...

10. Cats' facial expressions

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds

7. Fat clothes

6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time

5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell

4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow

3. Eyelash curlers

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made

1. OTHER WOMEN
~~~~~~~~~~~

TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH...

10. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.

9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.

8. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

7. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

5. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

4. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

3. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.

2. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Time for another late night mad rush to post, and get my sorry behind to bed before my sleeping pills drop me in my tracks. sleep


WHO WILL RIDE WITH ME??


Sorry! I'm watching Snow White and the Huntsman. Great movie! rolleyes


You know how you fall half asleep while watching a movie and start dreaming that you're in it? snicker


I was Snow White. rah


DON"T EAT THE APPLE!!!


Rats! Did it again. That time I was one of the Seven Dwarfs.


Sleepy. cool


Sorry, no autographs. shame


Now I'm so sleepy I'm Dopey.


Have a happy day everyone.



joe






Last edited by gymcandy1; 10/12/14 10:46 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #983115
10/12/14 10:58 PM
10/12/14 10:58 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
lol Joe, I think I am sleepy and dopey every day.

Have a great day Joe and all. I will see where the day takes me.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #983124
10/13/14 01:37 AM
10/13/14 01:37 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning Joe,Ana and all who follow later. wave
Hubby and I decide that jr.must do some out school activities.
My son choose chess lessons. yes
We start today. happydance
Have all a happy day. smile


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #983128
10/13/14 04:02 AM
10/13/14 04:02 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good morning and have a terrific day Joe, Ana, Haroula and all who come in after me. wave

I'm off for a work whoosh. Hopefully it's okay if I go in today, as I never received a schedule, despite texting and calling my manager (who didn't answer her phone). crazy Oh, well, should be an interesting week anyway. lol

Have a great Monday, everyone. fall


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #983130
10/13/14 05:15 AM
10/13/14 05:15 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Online happy
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Online Happy
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
fall Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula and venus. Joe hope you get to sleep late. Ana how's little James? Haroula I'm sure your son will enjoy learning to play chess. Venus good luck with work toady. Coffee is ready Happy Day wished for All! fall


Gerry
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #983141
10/13/14 06:10 AM
10/13/14 06:10 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Monday. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, and Blueberry Muffins in the NC.


Connie
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #983162
10/13/14 08:49 AM
10/13/14 08:49 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers fall

Joe, I'm still laughing over the family stressors.

Ana, hope the day takes you to great things.

Haroula, your son has picked a very intelligent activity.

Venus, have a great day!

Gerry, coffee please and thank you.

Connie, thanks for the Danish.

thanksgiving to all Boomers in Canada! turkey

Happy day wishes to everyone! happydance


Gail
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: GBC] #983177
10/13/14 10:01 AM
10/13/14 10:01 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your Monday is mahvelous!

thanksgiving Canada 'Boomies!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #983199
10/13/14 11:39 AM
10/13/14 11:39 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
lol Joe!! Thanks for the morning laughs! Have a lovely day!

Ana hope the shoulder is improving daily for you and James is doing better every day! hearts Have a lovely day!

Haroula that is a good thing for Jr!! Have a nice walk and have a lovely day!

venus hope that you were suppose to work today! Not nice of them to leave you hanging. Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for the danish! Yummmmmy! Have a lovely day!

Gail happy day wishes to you too! Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work go smoothly and you have a lovely day!

Up with the birds this morning and walked our mile. Then off to a doc appointment and pick up a couple things and now home. Have another doc appointment this afternoon!

wave
Nan

Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #983205
10/13/14 11:55 AM
10/13/14 11:55 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
"Hymns we have never sung before"... Oh Joe! You would have loved a young pastor we hired fresh out of seminary. He came into our OLD established church with loads of NEW ideas to share. One was that he took our favorite hymnal, threw it out, got a new one, and each Sunday, we would sing 3 songs, starting at number ONE, then two , then three. Next Sunday, four, five, six. You can guess the reaction of the congregation as this progressed with stuff we had never heard, hymns that were really impossible, and some that were just plain bad. I can't remember how long we were tortured, but eventually he got the idea when he ended up singing ALONE. Yup, we staged a protest (after trying to let him know this wasn't working). Poor guy. Back to the good old standards, with maybe one new one thrown in occasionally. Ahhhhhh.

Overcast, cool, promises of HOT.

Penelope the Peacock did her 'thing' Saturday. She has taken to perching on the iron railing of my neighbor's porch and looking out at the road. So Saturday, the neighbor had Cox Cable come to install some stuff and the guy walked up the sidewalk, and started across the front of the house BEFORE he looked up and came face to beak with Penelope! I was watching on my security camera and it was awesome! He jumped back, Penelope started honking, and jumped down and ran (annoyingly strutted) around the dividing fence, up my driveway and into my back deck. She was all fluffed out. Neck feathers at right angles, back feathers up, tail feathers almost fanned. Wow. That was a fun time for all. Guess Cox didn't figure that the job involved a Peacock. I wonder if he put in for hazardous duty pay? rotfl woot


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #983214
10/13/14 12:41 PM
10/13/14 12:41 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Hi Boomies. I'm home, just waiting for the Comcast tech to come and hook up my 48" flat screen TV. I really hope I don't have to wait for 2 hours.
Sorta I would love to have seen Penelope go after the cable guy. That's funny.

Ana how's your new grandbaby doing? And how's Sam doing?

Miidgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #983249
10/13/14 02:59 PM
10/13/14 02:59 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
All right Penelope, good girl, goodgood girl. Pets are fun. We've had lotsa cold weather lately. I've got to get to Walmart and buy some fluffy scuffys. Warm feet-warm heart.


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #983262
10/13/14 04:53 PM
10/13/14 04:53 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #983263
10/13/14 05:16 PM
10/13/14 05:16 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Good afternoon boomies! Rainy, gloomy day here so I have been cooking and playing a game. Can't beat that!

Nan, I hope all is well!

Haroula, you are raising a smart little boy!

be back


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #983278
10/13/14 08:21 PM
10/13/14 08:21 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
I spent most of my day searching for and installing yet ANOTHER security camera. Yes, I'm obsessive. Actually this one came to me as I lay in bed watching my critter cam and driveway cam. I only had the intersection (empty house, neighbors, etc. on the living room TV. So I went to 3 Wally Marts before I found one that had the same model I already had and liked. 2 had them listed on the shelf but none in stock. So I got lucky on #3. I also checked Best Buy which had what I wanted for twice (not kidding) the price of WalMart. Wow.

Installed it, lots of up ladders and climbing on step stools, and strap tying along the roof line and all that good stuff that requires stretching and dangerous ladder angles. Finally got it all done and the picture is awesome! Perfect view of everything I wanted. Now to wait for dark and see how the night vision goes with this position. Hope it's good.

Penelope is getting aggressive. She wanted some food, but I couldn't figure out what. She followed me around the deck, pecking at various offerings but nothing seemed to spark her interest. She finally went over to the water dish and enjoyed a cool drink. Guess she's right at home here (and probably in several other yards). At least she knows the routine. Or is it that she taught ME the routine?

rotfl


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #983292
10/13/14 11:02 PM
10/13/14 11:02 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Sweet dreams all...


Don't feed the Trolls
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