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Tuesday's #983301
10/14/14 01:34 AM
10/14/14 01:34 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970), Conquest of Happiness (1930)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York
and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing
over a beautiful bed of red roses.

"Tsk Tsk!" said the passerby to himself. "What a sad sight. That
poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can
help." So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked,
"What are you doing, my friend?"

"Fishin', sir."

"Fishin', eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink with
me?"
A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.

The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied ???I don't know, it all happened so fast.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The old man stood, put his rod away and followed the kind stranger
to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of vodka and a fine cigar.

His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man,
and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch today?"

The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke
ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to lather his face and sharpen the old straight edge while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.

The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room."

She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that.

The cowboy said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the difference."
She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~


A guy walked up to a beautiful young woman in a bar. "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" he said to her.

"I don't know," replied the beautiful young woman. "It depends how personal it is."

"OK," the guy said. "How many men have you slept with?"

"I'm not going to tell you that!" the woman exclaimed. "That's my business!"

"Sorry," said the guy, "I didn't realize you made a living out of it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A well dressed, debonair man in his mid nineties enters an upscale cocktail lounge and finds a seat next to a good looking, younger woman in her mid eighties, at the most. Trying to remember his best pick-up line, he says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A poodle and a collie were walking down the street. The poodle turned to the collie and complained, "My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is having an affair with a German shepherd, and I'm nervous as a cat."
"Why don't you go see a psychiatrist?" asked the collie.
"I can't," replied the poodle. "I'm not allowed on the couch."
~~~~~~~~~~

Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, "As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children." St. Peter lets him enter.
The next doctor says, "As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives." St. Peter tells him to go ahead.
The last man says, "I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care."
St. Peter replies, "You may enter. But," he adds, "you can only stay for three days. After that, you can go to hell."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


Well it's one for the money,

Two for the show,

Three to get ready,

Now go cat go......to bed. sleep


I didn't write that. smirk


I just plagiarized it and modified the last line. razz


If I had written it, it would go; Three to get ready, now go dog go. lab


I'm a dog person.


I really do have to go to bed though. tired


See y'all at breakfast. yes


Have a happy ROFL day everybody. rotfl



joe


Last edited by gymcandy1; 10/14/14 01:37 AM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #983307
10/14/14 03:36 AM
10/14/14 03:36 AM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer
Drmojo  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Thanks for the funnies Joe lol
I'm a Horseie person grin
but I like Dogs & cats both puppy kitty

cats sometimes scare me
at least my cat does when i wake up and my cat Puff who is 15 is sitting next to my head and she's staring at me blackkitty eek
kinda creeps me out snicker


it's pouring rain here all day but it was 69%






Hope everyone has a nice day fall




Karen cat


"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #983310
10/14/14 04:04 AM
10/14/14 04:04 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good morning and have a great Tuesday Joe, Karen and all who come in after me. wave

Running late this morning, so I'm off for a quick work whoosh. Have a terrific Tuesday, everyone. fall


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #983312
10/14/14 04:12 AM
10/14/14 04:12 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning,have all a nice day. smile wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #983313
10/14/14 04:47 AM
10/14/14 04:47 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
turkey Good Morning Joe, Karen,venus and Haroula. Joe hope you get plenty of rest. Karen nice to see you in the diner. Puff was just patiently waiting for you to wake up! That's what cats do! Venus have a nice day. Haroula enjoy your walk. Coffee is ready. happy Day All! fall


Gerry
Re: Tuesday's [Re: Kaki's Sister] #983314
10/14/14 05:31 AM
10/14/14 05:31 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning all waveGerry thanks for getting the coffee!!How are you? Ana how is baby James doing? wishing everyone a great day fall turkey


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #983317
10/14/14 06:26 AM
10/14/14 06:26 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. I've been taking my walk in the mornings like a good girl. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Tuesday. Danish, French Toast, and Bacon and Eggs in the NC. fall


Connie
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #983320
10/14/14 06:57 AM
10/14/14 06:57 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers

Joe, hope you slept well last night. Have a great day.

Karen, wishing you a super duper day! Enjoy whatever the day brings.

Ana, enjoy your day!

Venus have a nice workday.

Haroula, happy day to you!

Gerry, good morning and good day!

Sue, a great day is wished for you also.

Connie, have a wonderful day!

Nan, have a great day!

A nice long walk this morning with Nina then whatever the day brings.


Gail
Re: Tuesday's [Re: GBC] #983324
10/14/14 08:05 AM
10/14/14 08:05 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Good morning boomers. wave Hope everyone has a terrific Tuesday smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: manxman] #983335
10/14/14 10:01 AM
10/14/14 10:01 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Any new news on the sale of your house? Hope your Tuesday is terrific!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Tuesday's [Re: Darlene] #983337
10/14/14 10:25 AM
10/14/14 10:25 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

I am so tired this morning it hurts. I'm really looking forward to my days off tomorrow and Thursday. They can't get here fast enough. happydance

I have to close one more night first. tired

I've requested a week off next month before Thanksgiving. I'm looking forward to that too. Oh yeah. yes

Night before last when that cold front came through here we had another big storm in the middle of the night, and got another 2" of rain. Yesterday was cloudy and cold all day. yay

It is sunny again today but still cool. bravo

Darlene I haven't heard anything about the sale of our house. Apparently offers are to be submitted in sealed envelopes after the 20th. duh

We did have someone else come and look at it yesterday.

My home purchase, however, is going as planned to close on the 24th. bravo

I may be in my new home by Halloween.

I hope everyone has a super day today.


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #983363
10/14/14 12:09 PM
10/14/14 12:09 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
WooHoo Joe!! You going to decorate the house for your fav holiday??? May work fly and go well. Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Karen HUGS! How are things going?? Sassy says to give Bella puppy kisses. lol Rainy days are for gaming!! Have a lovely day!

venus happy work whoooooshing! Have a lovely day!

Haroula hope it was nice for your walk. Do you walk in the morning or afternoon or evening?? I like morning. Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the hot coffee. Have a nice walk and a lovely day!

Sue hope the gym was fun and you have a lovely day! Are you feeling better now?

Connie hope it was cool enough for your morning walk! Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Gail enjoy your nice long walk with Nina!! I like to do my long miler in the mornings. Sometimes we will do one or two more throughout the day. Have fun doing whatever pops up to do.....like some gaming. lol Have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

Darlene may work go smoothly for you and you have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #983395
10/14/14 02:11 PM
10/14/14 02:11 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Hi guys, Icky day yesterday spent in bed. At least up today, but not kicking very high. Poor son is covered in chigger bites and itchy itchy itchy. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #983405
10/14/14 02:56 PM
10/14/14 02:56 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Hey joe, may this house stuff progress but what about your kitty cats -will they have a home?

So cold this morning but sun out now and warming. Yesterday I made lentil soup and it is so good today -things are always better the 2nd day. My kits are finally using the cat beds. The smallest bed which was intended for Buttercup because she's the smallest kit is most rounded out and flattened by ShemerBaby, my largest cat -16 pounds now. Oh Well.


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #983411
10/14/14 03:52 PM
10/14/14 03:52 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #983422
10/14/14 06:51 PM
10/14/14 06:51 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good afternoon SpaceQ. Yankee and all wave I'm back in the corner and my mood is as good as the weather which is rainy and gloomy.

I wish you all a great day!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Tuesday's [Re: gymcandy1] #983431
10/14/14 08:01 PM
10/14/14 08:01 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Son and Per are working on major Reading Fair project. Very interesting listening to them. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
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