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Marvelous Monday #984325
10/20/14 12:07 AM
10/20/14 12:07 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Woody Allen (1935 - )
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
-- Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading."
-- Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?"
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
-- Tiger Woods

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
-- Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
-- Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
-- Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
-- Robert DE Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
-- Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
-- Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
-- Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a [blip], and only enough blood to run one at a time."
-- Robin Williams
~~~~~~~~~~~

Tried in a hostile town, a guy didn't think he had a chance of getting off a murder charge, so shortly before the jury retired he bribed one of the jurors to find him guilty of the lesser crime of manslaughter.

The jury was out for over three days before eventually returning a verdict of manslaughter. The relieved defendant collared the bribed juror and said: "Thanks. How ever did you manage it?"

"It wasn't easy," admitted the juror. "All the others wanted to acquit you."
~~~~~~~~~~~


A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in
the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The
bus seats are uncomfortable.The food is terrible. It's too hot. It's
too cold. The accommodations are awful.

The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone.
"Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you kiss the
Blarney Stone,"the guide said. "Unfortunately, it's being
cleaned today and so no one willbe able to kiss it. Perhaps we
can come back tomorrow."

"We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We
have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't kiss
the stupid stone."

"Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone
who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune."

"And I suppose you've kissed the stone," the woman scoffed.

"No, ma'am," the frustrated guide said, "but I've sat on it."
~~~~~~~~~~~


Two new prisoners were shown to their cell.

"How long are you in for?" asked the first.

"Eighteen years," replied the second. "How about you?"

"Twenty-five years. So since your getting out first, you'd better have the bed by the door."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Mr. Smith asked: "What is the usual tip?"

"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great."

"Is that so?" snorted Mr. Smith. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."

"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."

"What are you studying in school?" asked Larry.

The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."
~~~~~~~~~~

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.

"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" The young man blurted out.

"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.

A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"

The professor stared at the student for a long time. "Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school."
~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


I had a super work day, and since I was working I taped th Cowboy ball game which I'm watching right now. I saw it ran over 4 hours long, so I'm thinking it must have gone into overtime, which means it was a close game. yay


The great thing about taping the game is that I can skip all the commercials and cut that 4 hours in half almost. thumbsup


So the game is at half time now and tied 14 to 14. yes


I was not even sure I would have a computer to get on line with. This morning before I went to work I was playing a game and my computer just went black. It started freezing in the game and then the screen went black and the power light went off. Then it came back on and went off off again for longer. Then it came on again and went off again, and I didn't think I was going to get it back. It was probably 30 or 40 minutes before I got it to come back on. headscratch


With all that in mind I'm gonna get this posted, and enjoy the rest of the game, then and get to bed. wink


Have a happy day everyone. fall



joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Marvelous Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #984331
10/20/14 01:31 AM
10/20/14 01:31 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning,have all a happy day. happydance smile wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Marvelous Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #984341
10/20/14 04:09 AM
10/20/14 04:09 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good morning and have a great day Joe, Haroula and all who come in after me. wave

I'm off for yet another work whoosh. I may also get early access to Dreamfall Chapters today (as the tier I pledged for includes it), and in that case, I'll probably be hibernating on my computer as soon as I get home. lol yay

Okay, have to run. Have a terrific Monday, everyone. fall


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Marvelous Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #984344
10/20/14 05:15 AM
10/20/14 05:15 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
wave Good Morning Joe, Haroula and venus. Coffee is ready. Have a great day everyone! wave


Gerry
Re: Marvelous Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #984350
10/20/14 05:43 AM
10/20/14 05:43 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Good morning. Thanks for the chuckles Joe. Hi Haroula, venus, Gerry, and all who come through the doors of the diner today. I hope you all have a stupendous Monday today.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Marvelous Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #984351
10/20/14 05:55 AM
10/20/14 05:55 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Good Morning to you Midgie. Enjoy this chilly Autumn day! fall


Gerry
Re: Marvelous Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #984354
10/20/14 06:20 AM
10/20/14 06:20 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Monday. Joe, I hope your computer is OK and behaves. Danish, Apple Turnovers, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. fall


Connie
Re: Marvelous Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #984362
10/20/14 07:14 AM
10/20/14 07:14 AM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Woke up at 3:30 and wiiiide awake and after a hour of forced shut eyes I decided to get up. First -feed kits, clean up kitchen, then put on oatmeal(the first of the season) then clean up boiled over oats -gosh that smells, now eating. And CatZilla is tearing up the house -he sure has energy- now what to do with the rest of the day. Cleancleanclean then gamegamegame. I started "The Evil Within" a couple days ago and what a change from shooters and platform games!! It's gonna take a bit of patience and adjustment. I guess I'll like it. I better, I paid 60$ for it.

The early mornings are so peaceful

happy monday all


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Marvelous Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #984366
10/20/14 07:33 AM
10/20/14 07:33 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Good morning boomers. Have a magnificent Monday everyone smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Marvelous Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #984370
10/20/14 08:43 AM
10/20/14 08:43 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers puppy

I'm starting to believe that computers have a mind of their own. Scary!

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Ana, hope your day goes well today.

Venus, happy workday!

Gerry, thanks for the coffee.

Midgie, how have you been?

Connie, is it still hot around your place? Weather's getting colder here now. fall

Yankee hope you can sneak a nap in today.

Manxman, happy Monday to you also.

Giot a Doc appointment this morning then getting some gaming in. Wishing everyone a good day! lab


Gail
Re: Marvelous Monday [Re: GBC] #984373
10/20/14 10:02 AM
10/20/14 10:02 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers. Hope your computer is all better now! Happy Marvelous Monday!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Marvelous Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #984385
10/20/14 11:16 AM
10/20/14 11:16 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe I hope the computer is fine for you today!! Thanks for the chuckles! Enjoy your day off and have a lovely day!

Haroula hope your walk was nice and you have a lovely day!

venus have a fun day at work and hope the game is ready for you when you get home. Have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee. Have a nice walk and a lovely day!

Midge may work be fun today and you have a lovely day!

Connie thank you for the treats and have a lovely day!

Yankee that is why I love to take my long walk in the morning.....it is so peaceful!! Hope you can get a nap in this afternoon! Hope you enjoy the new game and have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

Gail best of luck with the doc appointment! I am waiting to hear from mine. lol Happy Gaming!! Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work go smoothly and you have a lovely day!

Ana may the corner be kind and the puzzles go smoothly for you! Good luck at therapy! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Marvelous Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #984393
10/20/14 11:49 AM
10/20/14 11:49 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Cool, calm, quiet around here. All Outdoorsies present. Poor old Spot, (the 20ish one) is now, I fear totally deaf. She's only responding when she sees me. Thank goodness she has a set routine of where she goes and when. I surprised her this morning by feeding all of them about 1/2 hour early and she was still on the front porch. I had to walk around the house, catch her gaze and then she perked up and followed me back around to the food table.

Penelope the peacock is on Fall schedule now. Comes early in the morning or not at all and definitely comes about 1/2 hour before dark and attacks the sunflower seed pile first, then goes up on the roof to wait for me to throw grapes to her. It's a game we play, I toss them, they roll down the roof, end up in the gutter, and she gets them from there. Last night I didn't do the throwing bit, but just left grapes in the dish with the sunflower seeds. She ate the seeds and went up on the roof but when I didn't return for the 'game', she came down, ate all the grapes and went 'home'. Awwwwww.

NEW people moved into the 'dreaded apartments' sometime in the last few days. Dunno how many since lots of them seem to group and then only a few stay. 2 men, 2 women, a small boy, and a DOG. Ugh. Another dog is all we need in there. They all were walking the block looking around, commenting on my 'dead' grass and all that good stuff. I'm hoping they are going to be nice people. Most of the apartment people are creepy.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Marvelous Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #984433
10/20/14 03:41 PM
10/20/14 03:41 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Ahhh back from the dreaded dentist. Awful appointment with more to follow sad Oh well, it could be worse. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Marvelous Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #984436
10/20/14 04:07 PM
10/20/14 04:07 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Marvelous Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #984471
10/20/14 09:20 PM
10/20/14 09:20 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good evening boomies! I was here a few times and started posting and got distracted by dogs, phones etc and I guess I never finished. oops I hope you all had a great day. I had PT this afternoon, it was not great, but I better get used to it.

Have a great evening all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Marvelous Monday [Re: gymcandy1] #984516
10/21/14 12:50 AM
10/21/14 12:50 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Night all sleep well!

sleep
Nan

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