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TGIF #985112
10/23/14 08:47 PM
10/23/14 08:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the [blip] things.
Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An old Italian woman is riding the elevator in a very lavish New York City office building.

A young and beautiful woman, smelling like expensive perfume, gets into the elevator. She turns to the old Italian woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"

A couple of floors later, another young and beautiful woman, smelling like expensive perfume, gets into the elevator. She turns to the old Italian woman and says arrogantly, "Chanel No. 5, $150 an ounce!"

Three floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her destination. As she exits the elevator, she peers at both women, bends over and passes gas, then bellows, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound!"
~~~~~~~~~~~


A guy was in New York on a business trip and decided to head to a local bar for a drink. Standing outside the bar was a nun holding a tin cup.

As the man threw a few bucks into her cup the nun launched into a long tirade about the evils of alcohol. She went on and on about how alcohol was tearing apart the fabric of society and how it was the root of all the city's problems.

Slightly pissed off at having to listen to this the guy said, "Listen sister, I work hard for my money and sometimes at the end of a long day I like a drink or two. That doesn't make me a bad person. I have a wife I idolize and two wonderful kids at home. I provide for my family, I volunteer my time to several local service clubs and I contribute regularly to various charities. Yet you stand here and condemn me just because I drink the occasional glass of scotch!"

The nun was slightly taken aback and replied, "I see your point my son and I apologize if I offended you, but the alcohol is such a powerful demon that all who consume it are doomed..."

"Look there you go again," said the man, "How can you make such a sweeping statement. Have you ever even TRIED alcohol?"

"Of course not!" gasped the nun, "The evil alcohol has never touched my lips."

"Do you really think that one glass of booze can change you from a devout nun to some kind of evil degenerate?"

"Well, I really don't know ..."

"I'll tell you what, come into the bar with me and I'll buy you a drink. One drink. I'll prove to you that "evil" is not inside the glass, it's inside the person."

"Oh I could never be seen going into such a den of inequity, it's out of the question. However, your comment about evil residing in the person rather than the glass is quite intriguing. I must admit you've aroused a curiosity in me."

"Well let's go inside and settle this"

"No my son, I could never enter such a place... but how about this. Take my tin cup with you and fill it with this "scotch" you mentioned. Bring it out to me and I'll try it."

"You're on!" said the guy.

The nun removed all the change and handed him the tin cup. He went into the bar and said to the bartender, "Two scotch on the rocks, and could you put one of them in this tin cup please"

The bartender sighed and said, "Is that darn nun out there again!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~


My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found the problem was hair in its ears and cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The veterinarian told the lady if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she could go to the store for 'Nair' hair remover and rub it in its ears once a month. The lady goes to the drugstore and gets some Nair.
At the register, the druggist tells her "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
The lady responds: "I'm not using it under my arms."
The druggist says: "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."
The lady answers: "I'm not using it on my legs either, and if you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer."
The druggist says: "In that case, stay off your bicycle for a week."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was this policeman who liked to stake out bars for an easy job by watching the drunks and then arresting them. After a while, a man came out and starting walking to his car. The man could not keep his balance and fell down several times. He finally found his car after wandering the carpark for a few minutes. The man tried to open his door but couldn't insert the key properly. The policeman was thinking to himself that this dude was clearly drunk. The man put the key in the ignition and sat there in his car. He blinked a few times and then did nothing. The policeman goes up to him and pulls him out of his car. The policeman orders the man to breathe into the breathalyzer. It reads 0.0. The cop is puzzled and says:"I'm sorry, but I think that this piece of dirt is broken." The man replies:"I doubt it, I'm the designated decoy."
~~~~~~~~~~~~


Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today's world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn't give their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called Who Represents where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name? wait for it.... is www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator company www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you're looking for computer software, there's always www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there's these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com
~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


I left work at about 5:40, came home and started trying to get my shower, get my supper, post and get to bed. crazy


Gotta get up at 4:30, and I'm running late..........kind of. razz


You know how I am about getting my beauty rest.


It takes a lot of care to maintain these movie star good looks.


Have a happy day everyone. thumbsup


joe turkey

Last edited by gymcandy1; 10/23/14 08:48 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985121
10/23/14 09:54 PM
10/23/14 09:54 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning Joe and all. Happy Friday! yay

Did anyone catch the solar eclipse yesterday? It got cloudy here so I missed it.

Nan, have fun at the fish fry tonight!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985131
10/23/14 10:55 PM
10/23/14 10:55 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Joe, I have to be up early, too, so I know how you feel. yes Hope you get plenty of sleep, and that work flies by for you.

Ana, no I would have liked to have seen it! It's a shame it was too cloudy for you to appreciate it. Hope you have a great Friday.

It's Thursday night for me. I finished Dreamfall Chapters. It's definitely up there with the first game for me. While I loved Dreamfall, it was never quite on the level of TLJ for me. This has exceeded my expectations, and I plan to play it again and make different choices the next time. thumbsup But first I have to do that pesky thing called work in the morning. grin

Hope everyone has a terrific Friday. fall


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985137
10/23/14 11:45 PM
10/23/14 11:45 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
Glad you enjoyed it venus!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985141
10/24/14 01:24 AM
10/24/14 01:24 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning,wishing everyone a happy day. happydance wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: TGIF [Re: Haroula] #985146
10/24/14 02:14 AM
10/24/14 02:14 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Venus,Ana,Haroula,and all Boomers wave This is day 3 of rain eek the dogs aren't happy lab Coffee is ready Gerry wave Happy Friday everyone sherlock


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985156
10/24/14 05:11 AM
10/24/14 05:11 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,108
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,108
Marlborough USA
fall Good Morning Joe, Ana, venus, Haroula and Sue. Joe sleep well. Ana I missed it too. A rainy day and night. Haroula have a good day. Sue thanks for the coffee. It's just what I need this chilly damp morning. Wishing all Boomers a Happy Day! fall


Gerry
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985165
10/24/14 06:30 AM
10/24/14 06:30 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,019
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Robert is off today so we are doing breakfast out and BJ'S. He is going camping and fishing with a friend this weekend. They will leave later this afternoon. To all here and all who follow, have a Great TGIF. Tomorrow afternoon oldest son's girlfriend and I are having a Halloween party for the little ones. zombie Danish, Omelets, and Fruit Cups in the NC. fall


Connie
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985186
10/24/14 09:57 AM
10/24/14 09:57 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe hope you slept fast and woke refreshed! Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Ana sorry it clouded up so you could not see it. It was nice. Hope the corner is being kind and the puzzles a little easy for you. I always have fun at the fish fry. lol All the volunteers are fun to work together with! Have a lovely day!

venus....already????? Wow!! You are a pro!! lol May work be fun! Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a nice walk and a lovely day!

Sue so sorry about the rain. Hope it clears soon. Thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Gerry have a nice walk if you can and have a lovely day!

Connie enjoy breakfast out and have fun shopping. That sounds like fun to have the party for the little ones. Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985187
10/24/14 09:57 AM
10/24/14 09:57 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers puppy

Joe, wishing you an easy workday!

Ana, too much rain here to see anything.

Venus glad the game was good.

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Sue, not only the dogs but I'm sick of the rain too. Supposed to clear up later today.

Gerry, have a good day! Think sun!

Connie, enjoy breakfast out.

Nan, it's supposed to stop raining today here. Can't wait.

If it clears up later then I'll take a walk with the dogs. Wishing everyone a wonderful day. lab


Gail
Re: TGIF [Re: GBC] #985189
10/24/14 10:06 AM
10/24/14 10:06 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Another early day for you. Hope you have a great TGIF!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

It's Friday!! woot

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985202
10/24/14 10:36 AM
10/24/14 10:36 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

Popped up, and decided better work on the books, so that is what I've been doing. Need more coffee. Kinda scary doing figures without more coffee on the brain. lol wave

Connie, how is the roof going?


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985216
10/24/14 12:11 PM
10/24/14 12:11 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
TGIF! How glad I am it's not yesterday. My internet went kablooey all of a sudden for no reason. Nada, nothing, just 'can't connect', 'DNS not working', Wi-fi connection not connected' etc.

So I call my provider, finally punch enough 'wrong' buttons to get a real live tech and he starts in on the usual, 'let me look up your records, thanks for providing the identity information, thanks for being a customer for 29 years, etc. It's all on a prepared, read word for word script every time I call. Ugh.

So he says, reset your modem, I reply I already did that. He says, I see everything is working on our end, uhhuh but NOT on mine. He says, he will reset my modem on his end but needs to know if I am working through a router or just the modem. I guess the router was the wi-fi box thingy. Yup, both. OK he sees both. Then he says, he will have to reset and my phone will probably cut off (same company and through the modem). OK by me. I asked HIM what DNS was and he said 'I don't know'. Huh? My computer friend knew immediately, nothing strange. I started wondering if this guy actually knew anything about computers or was just there to read stuff to me and tell me to unplug things and reset things. I already KNOW how to do that! Then he says AFTER the modem shuts down, disconnect ALL stuff on it, power, ethernet, blah blah. OK. AND someone, not him, will call me back after that.

1/2 hour later: Still no internet, no phone call, nothing. So I call back and get another guy who seems to know a bit more about computers. By this time I have gone ballistic and my computer friend is here watching me freak. I hate it when stuff doesn't work! He is clicking things I've never seen and getting the same answers I got. Better, but not fixed.

Second guy says, unplug yada yada yada, to which I curtly reply, "I already did all that with the first guy, nothing has changed, my internet is still not working, the first guy said he would reset it from your end," and WHAM my phone goes off, the modem resets and my internet IMMEDIATELY comes up. Uhhuh. Guess guy number 1, didn't reset it at all. It took just one second to fix the whole thing. BUT when the phone goes down, we disconnect from the provider and nobody calls back. I hope they send a 'survey' so I can tell them about the stupid process I went through. An hour to get my internet working and all it took was a guy who actually knew which button to push!

Not happy with people who are supposed to be 'customer support' and have no idea what they are doing. If I needed someone to chat with about nothing, I'd call a friend. It would have had the same result, no internet. At least the friend would have given me a nice chat. rotfl

Other than that, I'm in a great mood.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985237
10/24/14 02:47 PM
10/24/14 02:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Sorta, I feel your pain lol


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985240
10/24/14 02:55 PM
10/24/14 02:55 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,267
In the Naughty Corner
hi ho. ho ho...it's off to PT I go. Off to tortured for an hour.

Happy Friday!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985245
10/24/14 03:46 PM
10/24/14 03:46 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Just did ANOTHER go round with my internet provider. The first guy did the usual 'bit', but when I started asking him pointed questions, he finally referred me to 'advanced tech'. Wheeee! Advanced tech turned out to be Susan, who listened, was totally human and knew her stuff! After a few retries, we finally both decided it was perhaps a modem problem or wireless router. I disconnected the wireless before calling her so that was out of play, and that helped. She said the modem only 'resets' on the previous connection, so perhaps the wifi device was bonkers. So then she had me turn everything off and waited, and she reset it and called me back (oh yes, she actually did and apologized for taking so long). Nice gal. Wow. Everything seems to be working now, but IF it goes again, it could be my search engine might have been hijacked. We will wait and see. Right now, it's all good. Holding breath!


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985250
10/24/14 04:24 PM
10/24/14 04:24 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Ana, luck

Sorta, hope it's all fixed now. thumbsup


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985257
10/24/14 05:15 PM
10/24/14 05:15 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Welcome to the weekend Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985261
10/24/14 06:08 PM
10/24/14 06:08 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,022
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,022
Unionville
Good evening boomers. Hope everyone's weekend if off to a great start smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985275
10/24/14 09:14 PM
10/24/14 09:14 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Internet still working, hooray! I suspect that Susan (the tech) actually created me a new IP address to solve the problems I was having. It said 'internet connection 2' when the screen came up and she said to click on that. It worked. Hope it holds, but I think my other 'connection' got corrupted somehow. Double checked for virus and nothing shows up. I keep wondering if someone might have 'hacked' into my wi-fi and did something to it? I will never know. Either that or my provider had some strange glitch that Susan found. I'm happy to have my internet back and won't have to feel like I am in that AD that the lady keeps trying to convince the phone rep that she has NO internet. My neighbor is laughing about that one and ME. rotfl I must agree, it sure fits my situation.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: TGIF [Re: gymcandy1] #985280
10/24/14 10:10 PM
10/24/14 10:10 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Okay, bed time for me. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
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