Always render more and better service than is expected of you, no matter what your task may be.
Og Mandino (1923 - 1996)
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Fellow 1 : "Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the
year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not
only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he
was right about that too."
Fellow 2 : "Wow, that's Incredible. How did he know all of that?"
Fellow 1 : "A judge told him."
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Dave and Bo went elk hunting every year. The forest was so thick that they had to hire a helicopter to take them in and out. At the hunt's end, Dave and Bo called up the helicopter to come and get them and the six elks they had shot.
On arrival, the helicopter pilot looked over the catch. "I can only carry half of your catch," he said. "Six elk would be too heavy for the helicopter."
"Last year the helicopter carried six elk," replied Dave. "And it was the same type of helicopter as yours and the weather conditions were exactly the same."
The pilot succumbed to persuasion and took aboard the hunters and their six elk. The helicopter could not gain height and skimmed along the tops of the trees for a mile or so, and then crashed. Fortunately no-one was hurt.
"Do you know where we are?" asked Bo.
"Yes," replied Dave, "about a hundred yards from where we crashed last year."
~~~~~~~~~~~
A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence.
"Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"
"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."
"You sell them here?" the customer asks.
"Only $5 each," says Green.
The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.
"You didn't eat enough," says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.
"Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $5 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $3. You're ripping me off!"
"You see?" says Green. "You're smarter already."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, " We will all die some day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event."
"Everybody nodded their heads in agreement with this comment."
Then the leader said to the group, "What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, and then the Great Judgment Day?"
A gentleman said, " I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives."
"Very good!" ,said the group leader, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.
One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, "I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction."
"That's wonderful!" the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.
But one gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly and said, "I would go to my mother-in-laws house for the 4 weeks."
Everyone was puzzled by this answer, and the group leader ask, "Why your mother-in-laws home?"
Then the gentleman smiled sarcastically and said, "Because, that would be the longest 4 weeks of my life!"
~~~~~~~~~~
A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin.
"Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover."
"Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."
~~~~~~~~
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.
The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.
At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway.
The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.
Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.
When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.
Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!"
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During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.
At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss.
The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly, "Who stopped the elephant?"
"I did," said the centipede.
"Who stopped the rhino?"
"Uh, that was me too," said the centipede.
"And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?"
"Well, that was me as well," said the centipede.
"So where were you during the first half?" demanded the coach.
"Well," said the centipede, "I was having my ankles taped."
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Good morning everyboomie.
I can't believe it's Sunday. It seems like Saturday just zipped by.
I didn't get around very early Saturday. Baby had me up at 5:00 wanting out, so I was determined that I would go back to sleep, and then I kinda overslept. Then had my breakfast and sipped a couple of cups of coffee, before going out for a little walk with Baby, and then my neighbor's grandson came over and talked a good while.
When I finally started I spent a couple of hours stripping off the wallpaper off of just one wall. Thank goodness there was only one wall.
After cleaning up all the wallpaper, I finally got around to starting the painting, and after painting just that one wall I decided that I didn't like the paint. It took two coats to cover a white wall.
I loaded up Baby and went to town, and got a burger, and then went to my friendly neighborhood big box store and bought another gallon of darker paint, of a better quality.
I quit painting at 8:30. I had two walls painted, and all the corners, doors, and windows cut in.
Painting is hard work. Thank God I only have two days off.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Hope you get some relaxing time soon.
As for now, I'm off to sleep.
Ana, Hugs and positive thoughts on the way. Joe, Hugs for you too. I hope today is an easier day for you. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Sunday. Danish, Eggs, Bacon, Sausage, Hash Browns, Toast, and Waffles in the NC. 
Do be careful!! You don't want to start over. HUGS!! Have a lovely day!
Have an easy peasy day!
