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Saturdiner #986422
11/01/14 01:02 AM
11/01/14 01:02 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)


That's an entertaining thought.
~~~~~~~~~~~~


A guy walks into a bar and shouts, "When I drink, everybody drinks!". Everybody is cheering him and applauding like crazy.
Feeling great, he finishes his beer, asks for another one and shouts, "When I drink again, everybody drinks again!". Once again, everybody is cheering him, he is the hero of the bar.
When he is done drinking, he pulls out his wallet and shouts, "When I pay, everybody pays!".
~~~~~~~~

A guy goes into a bar. He orders a beer, and after a while he needs to go to the toilet. Because he is afriad someone will drink his beer, he puts a small note on it that says: "I spit in this beer, do not drink!".
After a few minutes he returns, and there is another note on the beer, saying "So did I!".
~~~~~~~~~

Two men arrive at the Pearly Gates at about the same time, both wanting to know if they will be admitted to heaven. St. Peter asks the first man his name, where he is from, and what he did in life.

The man answers that he is John Smith and that he was a taxi driver in New York City.

St. Peter looks through his book, then gives the man a luxurious silken robe and a golden staff, and bids him welcome into heaven for his eternal reward.

St. Peter then asks the second man the same questions. He replies that his name is Thomas O'Malley, and that he was a Catholic priest in Chicago. St. Peter looks in his book, then gives him a cotton robe and a wooden staff, and bids him to enter into heaven for his eternal reward.

Father O'Malley says, Wait a minute! Why did that taxi driver get a silken robe and golden staff while I, a Catholic Priest and a man of God, got a cotton robe and wooden staff?

St. Peter told him that the rewards in heaven are based on results, and while Father O'Malley preached, people slept, but while John Smith drove, people prayed!
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender, Quick pour me twelve drinks.
So the bartender pours him twelve shots and the guy starts shooting them back really fast, one after another. The bartender says to the guy, Boy you are drinking those drinks really fast.

The guys says, Well, you would be drinking really fast too if you had what I''ve got.

The bartender says, What've you got?

The guy says, 75 cents.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


10 best excuses when you get caught falling asleep on your desk:


10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!"

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

3. "The coffee machine is broken..."

2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."

And the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk...

1. " ... in Jesus' name. Amen."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.

Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper.

"Tell me! Did you find her?!" Wilkens shouted.

The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."

The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay."

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"

The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound king crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her."

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"

The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."
~~~~~~~~~~~~

The new manager walks into his office and, while settling into his new desk, finds 4 envelopes. On one he finds the words "open me first," and the other three are numbered 1 to 3.

He opens the first envelope and finds a letter from his predecessor saying: "These three envelopes will save you a world of trouble. In case of emergency, please open these envelopes in sequential order; envelope one first, envelope two second, and envelope three third."

The manager shrugs, puts the envelopes back, and forgets about them.

Six months later, the workers go on strike. The company closes, and is losing money fast.

After a long night negotiating with the union, he remembers the 3 envelopes. So he opens the first one and it says: "Blame me, your predecessor for every thing".

Wonderful idea he thinks, and indeed it works and the crisis comes to its end. His job is saved, and everybody's happy.

A few months later, another strike hits. He goes to the drawer and opens the second envelope. It reads, "Blame the government for everything".

It works like a charm, and he breathes a sigh of relief as his job is, once again, saved.

A month later the workers declare another strike. The manager goes to the third envelope and it reads, "Prepare 4 new envelopes".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. fall


It's like way past my bed time, and tomorrow is a nuther one, just like the other one, so I'm going to wish upon you all a most wonderful day. yes


Welcome to the weekend, and I hope you didn't eat too much candy. ghost


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #986426
11/01/14 03:20 AM
11/01/14 03:20 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning,have all a happy day. wave happydance turkey


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #986430
11/01/14 05:07 AM
11/01/14 05:07 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
witch Good Morning Joe, Haroula and all on the way to the Diner. Joe how's the move going? Haroula what have you planned for today? Coffee is ready and waiting for breakfast! happy Day All! witch


Gerry
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #986442
11/01/14 07:16 AM
11/01/14 07:16 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Good morning and have a terrific Saturday Joe, Haroula, Gerry and all who come in after me. wave

It's the beginning of the weekend. happydance I'm going to see if I can actually get that other path in Chapters started today. thumbsup Other than that, I'm sitting here with kitty version Venus, and we're going to see what else is happening today. grin

Have a terrific Saturday, everyone. fall


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #986445
11/01/14 07:53 AM
11/01/14 07:53 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good morning everyone wave It is cold here this morning eek

Enjoy your Saturday!


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #986446
11/01/14 08:13 AM
11/01/14 08:13 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. The party was fun last night. There were some Great costumes. Granny, thanks for the loan of the broom. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Saturday. Hugs Ana, I hope the cold weather was not the problem. L4L, I hope you feel better today. The high temp today will only be 60 with winds of 20 to 30, the low in the morning in the low 40's. That's January weather here. Danish, Bacon and Eggs, and Oatmeal with Cinnamon Sugar in the NC. turkey


Connie
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #986456
11/01/14 10:11 AM
11/01/14 10:11 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers blackkitty

Joe, wishing you an easy day today.

Ana, hope you're less painful today. Sounds like the weather isn't helping. thumbsdown

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Gerry, coffee please and thank you.

Venus happy gaming!

Space, good morning. Chilly here also.

Connie, stay warm. 40's is too cold for you. We New Englanders feel 40 is a heat wave in the winter. lol

Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend. yes


Gail
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #986470
11/01/14 11:19 AM
11/01/14 11:19 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe sleep fast and wake refreshed. May work fly so you may start your day off. Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee. It was a brisk 22F when we went walking this morning. Have a lovely day!

venus Happy Gaming! Hope kitty is still doing good! Have a lovely day!

Space.....welcome to the weekend! Have a lovely day!

Connie glad you had a good time at the party!! Your lows are our highs. lol Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Gail may it be nice enough for a Nina walk today! Have a lovely day!

Ana Hope it is just from therapy and not weather related!

wave
Nan

Re: Saturdiner [Re: auntiegram] #986478
11/01/14 12:00 PM
11/01/14 12:00 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning everybody. wave

I am super tired today. I have one more night to close before my day off tomorrow, so I go in at 1:00. tired

I closed on buying my house yesterday, after signing my name about 75 times. WHEW! slapforehead

I hope I didn't sign my kids into bondage in all that legal mumbo jumbo. shocked

My sister ok, my kids no-k. snicker

I haven't even started to move yet. I will start moving stuff tomorrow. tired

It will probably be over a month from now before we are closing on this house.

I don't think there's any big hurry for me to be out of here, and I think it will take me two weeks to get everything moved, because I only have tomorrow off, and then not off again until Friday, and then not again until Wednesday, and Thursday. yes


I hope you all have a great weekend. thumbsup


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #986482
11/01/14 12:15 PM
11/01/14 12:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Super Saturday ya'll puppy

Been up for a bit but have been in the kitchen. Wanted to listen to news and don't do that in the same room as the boys as they don't need to hear it.

Got us all fed and the kitchen cleaned up. Now gonna sit for one sec and then brush and scrub all the doggies. After which, the bed will get changed cos they will roll all over it. wave

Last edited by looney4labs; 11/01/14 12:16 PM.

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #986490
11/01/14 12:55 PM
11/01/14 12:55 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Halloween went smoothly last night I think. Nothing much stolen or damaged (still have to look) but the kiddies were mostly well behaved. Most of us turned off our light and HID. The kids came in huge 'packs'. Usually 5-15 at a time. Scary huge mobs of people. There were less vans pulling up, but I figure from 5:30 to 10:30 there were probably about 200 or more kids. I think more after reviewing the security tape. So many. I think groups of them were heading for the school carnivals up the street and hit up the goodies on the way, and then AGAIN on the way back. At least the rain held off until early this morning.

Wet ground, looks nice, we needed it but not nearly enough to really soak the ground.

Raccoons at all the feral Outdoorsie food early so the kitties and a poor skinny possum got none. I went out to replenish the dry food dish after I spotted the raccoons tromping back across the road. Unfortunately, the skinny possum was on the table looking for food and when I walked out, he just sat there, didn't seem to hear me, and freaked when I reached in to pour some food in the bowl, he jumped, flew, and fell off the table on his back and just laid there. Poor possum. I think he's OK. He was hiding under the table when I went back inside. Hope he came back later for food.

Today I will lay low, watch the action outside and maybe hose off the deck. It's a bit muddy from the light rain.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: looney4labs] #986491
11/01/14 12:57 PM
11/01/14 12:57 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Sounds like a busy few weeks coming up for you! Hope all goes well and have a super duper Saturdiner!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

We had rain overnight and it was fab-u-lous! So much needed!

An easy peasy day planned today. smile

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #986519
11/01/14 03:32 PM
11/01/14 03:32 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good afternoon boomies! It's a chilly day here but at least the sun is out for a change. yay Lots of damage all over from the 70 mph winds and 23 foot waves at the lake yesterday. We have limbs down but not much else.

Joe, congrats on being a homeowner. It must feel good to know it's all yours. hearts

Haroula wave

Gerry, have a great day!

Venus, happy gaming!

SpaceQ, stay warm.

Connie, glad you had a great time last night.

Gail, I really look forward to the pain being gone. It's been rough. What are you up to this weekend?

Nan, how was the fish fry last night? Did anyone dress up?

L4L, have fun grooming the dogs.

Sorta, possums faint but they are fine. They can lay there for hours and then just get up and walk away.

Darlene, enjoy the rain!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #986532
11/01/14 04:25 PM
11/01/14 04:25 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Ana, I hope the pain fades soon. I remember from when son had that surgery that recovery was a job and a half.

Doggies all smell much better. They all immediately stuck their noses in the back door, but No Way, they are staying in til they are dry. Now washing all the bedding and explaining to the doggies that they are not, I repeat, not, going out puppy


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #986538
11/01/14 06:04 PM
11/01/14 06:04 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
sleep wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #986548
11/01/14 07:32 PM
11/01/14 07:32 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Night, Haroula, sweet dreams!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: looney4labs] #986561
11/01/14 08:52 PM
11/01/14 08:52 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
looney,

Love your tag line! lab


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #986578
11/01/14 10:23 PM
11/01/14 10:23 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Ana glad it was only some limbs down from all that wind. You know, I had a cute costume to wear to the fish fry last night but we didn't have a fish fry. The cook couldn't be there as she wanted to take her kids out trick or treating. So I stayed home and handed out candy.

L4l you. Sure we're busy today giving all the dogs a bath. Hope they stay clean for a little while for you.

wave
Nan

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