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Sip & Surf Sunday #989744
11/23/14 12:46 AM
11/23/14 12:46 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A priest goes to a hairdressing salon, has a haircut, thanks the
hairdresser and asks him how much he owes. The hairdresser replies,
"Father, you're a holy man, a man of the cloth, I just couldn't
charge you anything, it's on the house"
The priest is most grateful and says, "Thank you, my son" and leaves.
When the hairdresser goes to open his shop next morning, almost by
magic, he finds 2 gold coins on his doorstep.
Some days later, a Buddhist monk goes to the same hairdressing salon
for shave and a wax. When he goes to pay, the hairdresser says, "You
don't have to give me any money, you're a spiritual leader, a man of
the people, I just couldn't charge you anything, it's on the house."
The monk bows, shakes his hand and thanks him.
When the hairdresser goes to open his shop next morning, almost by
magic, he finds 12 diamonds on his doorstep.
The following week a Rabbi goes into the hairdressing salon to have a
haircut and a beard trim.
When he goes to pay, the hairdresser says, "No, Rabbi, I couldn't ask
you to pay anything, it's on the house, you are a learned and wise
man, go in peace." The Rabbi blesses him and leaves.
When the hairdresser goes to open his shop next morning, almost by
magic, he finds 12 Rabbis on his doorstep.
~~~~~~~~~~


The Jones's were unable to conceive children, and elected to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jones kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Jones cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat." After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out!"

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot of. . . " gasped Mrs. Jones.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know it," Mrs. Jones said quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."

"Oh my God!!" Mrs. Jones exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Jones.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Jones, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots.

Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Jones leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your ...equipment?"

"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long."

"Madam? Madam?... Good Lord, she's fainted!"
~~~~~~~~~~~


A team of sociologists have planned an experiment in isolation. They send an American, a Frenchman and a Japanese man to a deserted island, and arrange to come back and pick them up in a years time to see how they have adapted. The sociologists leave, and the three men decide to split up the tasks amongst themselves.

"I'm an engineer" says American, "So I'll handle building a shelter". He turns to the Frenchman and says: "You French are pretty good cooks, why don't you handle the cooking?" The Frenchman agrees, and the American turns to the Japanese man "That leaves you to organize the supplies" he says. The Japanese man agrees and each man sets about his tasks.

A year passes, and the sociologists return to see how the men have done. They expect to find three desperate men, unhappy with having to live on the island, but instead find a huge wooden house with verandas and porches and balconies. The American comes to greet them, and when they express their surprise about the house he just shrugs and says "Yeah well I had a lot of raw materials so I kind of went to town and did the place up" The teams are amazed and are shown inside to the kitchen where they're greeted with the most amazing smell of delicious food.

The Frenchman sees their surprise and just shrugs "I had lots to work with" he says, "This island has loads of edible herbs and plants."

The team sits down to eat and are about to start when one of them inquires about the Japanese man. "Oh we don't know what happened to him" explains the American, he ran off into the woods to sort out the supplies and hasn't been seen since." They all agree that they should find the man, and a search party is organised. They make it about 100 yards into the woods, when the Japanese man jumps out from behind a tree, stark naked with peacock feathers sticking out of his rear and shouts: "SUPPLIES!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A game warden came upon a duck hunter who had bagged 3 ducks and decided to 'enforce the laws pending.' He stopped the hunter, flashed his badge and said, 'Looks like you've had a pretty good day. Mind if I inspect your kill?'

The hunter shrugged and handed the ducks to the warden. The warden took one of the ducks, inserted his finger into the duck's rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said, 'This here's a Washington state duck. Do you have a Washington state hunting license?'

The hunter pulled out his wallet and calmly showed the warden a Washington state hunting license. The warden took a second duck, inserted his finger in the bird's rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said, 'This here's an Idaho duck. Do you have an Idaho state hunting license?'

The hunter, a bit put out, produced an Idaho state hunting license. The warden took a third duck, conducted the same finger test, and said, 'This here's an Oregon state duck. Do you have an Oregon state hunting license?'

Once again, only this time more aggravated, the hunter produced the appropriate license. The warden, a little miffed at having struck out, handed the ducks back to the hunter and said, 'You've got all of these licenses, just where the hell are you from?'

The hunter dropped his pants, bent over, and said 'You're so smart, YOU tell ME!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are [blip] good drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back." The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin' where did you go for the past 30 minutes?". The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Good morning everyboomie. eatfish


This is your lucky day. yay


I ate a Good Humor bar earlier, so I should be especially funny tonight. thumbsup


Or was that a Payday? think


It it was the latter you'll have to pay me $20 a joke...........with a 2 joke minimum. snicker


Ya wanna hear more? $$ razz $$


My sister came by to visit me today. It reminded me of what I'm thankful for. yes


She doesn't live here. turkey


Have a happy day everybody.



joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #989749
11/23/14 04:24 AM
11/23/14 04:24 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning,have all a relaxing Sunday. happydance wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: Haroula] #989750
11/23/14 04:28 AM
11/23/14 04:28 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
cailyn Offline
BAAG Specialist
cailyn  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,145
Somewhere ? in Massachusetts?
Good morning Joe,Haroula waveJoe your to funny! How's the new house? It's 50 degrees here right now which is better than cold weather shiverCoffee is ready! Wishing you all a great day! dance


I may not have gone where I intended to go,but I think I have ended up where I need to be.

Sue
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #989754
11/23/14 05:56 AM
11/23/14 05:56 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,109
Marlborough USA
turkey Good Morning Joe, Haroula and Sue. Joe keep smiling! Haroula have a relaxing day too. Sue it's 42 degrees here this morning. Crazy weather for this time of year! Thanks for the coffee.Hope everyone has a nice day! turkey


Gerry
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #989761
11/23/14 08:18 AM
11/23/14 08:18 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Sunday. Robert and I will be leaving for California tomorrow morning. We will be coming back Friday as Robert has to be back to work on Monday. Danish, Bacon, Sausage, Eggs, Hash Browns, Toast, BB Pancakes, and Hot Chocolate in the NC. turkey


Connie
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #989764
11/23/14 09:33 AM
11/23/14 09:33 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers turkey

Joe, funny! Someday your sister is going to give you pay back.

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Sue, thanks for the coffee. Enjoy the warmer weather.

Gerry, have a great day!

Connie, thanks for the Danish. Enjoy your Thanksgiving away from home.

Wishing everyone a wonderful day. Off to church now. lab


Gail
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #989768
11/23/14 10:17 AM
11/23/14 10:17 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hope you're enjoying your new house, Joe.

Have a great Sunday, Haroula.

Have a great day, too, Cailyn.

Enjoy your day, Gerry.

Have fun in California, and enjoy your holiday, Connie.

Have a wonderful day as well, Gail.

I just realized I forgot to post yesterday. oops Thorsgoats and I went to Wegman's and got some really good things. thumbsup No plans today. I have a really busy week next week - have to work both Thanksgiving and Black Friday, and not looking forward to the latter eek - so I think I will just relax and game today. grin

Hope everyone has a terrific Sunday. turkey


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #989771
11/23/14 10:31 AM
11/23/14 10:31 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,022
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,022
Unionville
Good morning boomers. Have a super Sunday everyone turkey


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #989775
11/23/14 11:36 AM
11/23/14 11:36 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! It's a corner day for me as it's due before I go to bed. lol Crunch time!
Poor Merlin can hardly walk from our run yesterday so they will be staying home.

Nan, hope everything is okay, missed you yesterday!

Have a great day all!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #989778
11/23/14 11:52 AM
11/23/14 11:52 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Superfragilisticexpalidocious Sunday ya'll wave

I need more coffee before I try to spell that right lol

Woke up to a rainy day...whoop, whoop. Hubby is feeling and looking a tiny bit better. Gonna sit and sip as long as my net stays up! wave

Connie, have a fantastic trip!


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #989783
11/23/14 12:20 PM
11/23/14 12:20 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
lol Joe thanks for the chuckles!! Hope all is well on the new home front! Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Sue thanks for the coffee. It was 37 out there this morning. The snow is melting and the air is foggy. lol Have a lovely day!

Gerry have a lovely day!

Oh Connie that sounds like fun, enjoy! Prayers for the Band around you all as you are traveling. Have a safe and fun trip! Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Gail enjoy church and have a nice relaxing afternoon! Have a lovely day!

venus since you have to be there can I ljust give you my list and you can pick them up for me and I can stay home and avoid the crowds. lol Have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

Ana thanks! I got up and hit the floor running. We had our craft and bake sale all day yesterday and I was there working. Missed my time here too. May the corner move along smoothly for you and you finish a little ahead of time. Prayers Merlin feel better soonest! HUGS! Have a lovely day!

L4l enjoy the rainy day! Hope hubby keeps feeling better every day! Have a lovely day!

Today is my twin granddaughters birthday. happydance Hard to believe that they are 22 already. Where does the time go?

wave
Nan

Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #989792
11/23/14 01:03 PM
11/23/14 01:03 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great Sunday everyone. thumbsup


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #989793
11/23/14 01:08 PM
11/23/14 01:08 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sister and her beau should have arrived here from Washington by now. Of course I have not heard a peep from them so that's the norm. Again, they will be staying with her daughter about 60 miles north of me and doing their 'thing'. She's happy, he's happy, they are busy doing and going and all that stuff. Just wish she would let me know she's FINE. I'll have to break down and email her and of course will get a short, hi, goodbye. Oh well. Sisters. Gee, Joe! Maybe your sister and my sister can get together??? Would be a fun time I'm sure. Just as long as you and I aren't anywhere around. rotfl

Monday my friend and I are going to see The Hunger Games. Oh boy. Last summer, I managed to get FREE passes to it along with a nice MockingJay pin. Good memorabilia. Love going FREE. We skipped the big 'opening night'. I hate standing in line and being in a crowded theatre. I did that for one of the Star Trek movies. THREE hours in the hot sun. Yikes, never again. It's the early morning matinee for me.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #989796
11/23/14 01:21 PM
11/23/14 01:21 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Enjoy the movie Sorta. Movies movies -it's been years I've been to one, kinda miss them but it's 40 miles to get to one then 40 home. Bopping around Austin after the movie was lotsa fun though. sometimes better than the movie.

Weatherwise today we are experiencing the calm after the storm. Everything is wet and soggy but the day is bright and the sun tremendous, hot and shiney. North of us, that's NE of Austin they had 6+ inches of rain all in one day/night and now are experiencing flooding/flood warnings. We were spared although the lightening scared the daylites out of me.

One of my opossums let's me pet her.


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #989822
11/23/14 05:34 PM
11/23/14 05:34 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Yankee, I feel ya. We used to live 60 miles outside of Vegas and there was nothing out where we lived. So we made the trip in once a month, shopped, dined, movied, etc. wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #989826
11/23/14 05:49 PM
11/23/14 05:49 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,268
In the Naughty Corner
L4L, glad soot is feeling better.

SpaceQ, wave

Sorta, sounds like a fun day tomorrow!

Yankee, we have rain and gloom here. Be careful of the possum so you don't get bit. You are like the wild animal whisperer. hearts

back to work for me....


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #989829
11/23/14 06:05 PM
11/23/14 06:05 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Yankee, I think I need you to speak to my largest possum (Bluto) and tell him he is NOT to tangle with the raccoons! The two of them had a major 'face off' last night and the raccoon won. Thank goodness nobody got hurt. Just a lot of hissing and chittering and a few swings of the feet. Amazing to watch. They all take turns anyway at the food, and I keep the dish of dry food replenished to be sure all of the 'regulars' get some.

Police again at the empty house. Will report later in Sorta's Neighborhod as to the outcome.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #989860
11/23/14 10:29 PM
11/23/14 10:29 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Nan, I wish I could avoid the crowds, but they're not giving me that option. lol

Okay, I'm off to sleep. Good night, everyone. sleep


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Sip & Surf Sunday [Re: gymcandy1] #989873
11/23/14 11:11 PM
11/23/14 11:11 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Night all. See you tomorrow sometime. I have a split shift tomorrow. Sleep well everyone.

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
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