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Hump Day #991240
12/02/14 09:51 PM
12/02/14 09:51 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
Tom Robbins (1936 - )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

The guy from Corona sits down and says "Hey Sen~or, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.

The guy from Guiness sits down and says "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guiness?" and the Guiness resident replies "Well, if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I."
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mrs.O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father Rafferty. "Hello," said the Father, "and how is Mrs.O'Donovan? Didn't I marry you two years ago?" She replied "That you did Father." The priest asked, "And are there any little ones yet?" "No, not yet Father," said she. "Well, now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you." "Thank you, Father." And away she went.

A few years later they met again. "Well, now, Mrs. O'Donovan," said the Father, "how are you?" "Oh, very well," said she. "And tell me," he said, "have you any little ones yet?" "Oh yes, Father. I've had three sets of twins, and four singles -- ten in all." "Now isn't that wonderful," he said "And how is your lovely husband?" "Oh," she said, "he's gone to Rome. To blow out the [blip] candle!
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man with no arms walked in to a bar and asked for a beer. The bartender shoved the foaming glass in front of him.

"Look," said the customer, "I have no arms - would you please hold the glass up to my mouth?"

"Sure", said the bartender, and he did.

"Now," said the customer, "I wonder if you'd be so kind as to get my handkerchief out of my pocket and wipe the foam off my mouth."

"Certainly." And it was done.

"If you'd reach in my right hand pants pocket," said the armless
man, "you'll find the money for the beer."

The bartender got it.

"You've been very kind," said the customer. "Just one thing more.
Where is the men's room?"

"Out the door," said the bartender, "turn left, walk two blocks,
and there's one in a filling station on the corner."
~~~~~~~~~~~

Three guys work on a constuction site. One is white, one is black and one is Polish. The bell rings for lunch and the white man opens his lunchbag and sighs deeply, saying, ''If my wife packs me a ham sandwich again tomorrow I'm jumping off the building.'' The black guy opens up his lunch, glares and says '' If my wife packs me a ham sandwich again tomorrow, I'm going with you." The Polish man opens his lunch, pulls out another ham sandwich, and says ''I'm with you guys.''
The next day the lunch bell rings.The white man opens his lunch. He says, ''Turkey sandwich. I love my wife.'' The black guy opens his lunch. He says, ''Chicken sandwich. I love my wife. The Polish man opened his lunchbox, looked stricken, and said '' See ya guys.'' With that, he jumped off the building. The black guy says '' I feel sorry for him. ''The white man replies, ''Why?'' The black guy said, ''Because he packs his own lunch."
~~~~~~~~

A pregnant woman goes to the doctor for results of a test. The doctor invites her in to sit down.

"I'm sorry to tell you, Mrs. Smith, that your baby has some serious problems."

"What problems, doctor? I mean, when it arrives, I'll love it. It's my child and I'll love it regardless."

"Well, yes, of course,... but your child has no legs."

"Oh dear. Well, it's my child, and I'll love it regardless."

"And it hasn't got any arms either."

"What?"

"Exactly what I said. Your child doesn't have a body, or a face. In
fact, your child is only a very, very big ear."

"Oh my God! This is terrible! Well, it's my child, and I'll love it.
I'll learn all the lullabies in the world to sing to it."

"Mrs. Smith, one last thing.... Unfortunately, your child is deaf."

DID YOU EAR THAT??? snicker
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning Boomers. thumbsup


Super Duper Hump Day to you all. yes


I have the morning off, and close tonight and tomorrow night. yes


I'm hoping my sister shows up here this morning. Last night I went back over to the other house to check things out, and leave food for Sambo, the cat we couldn't seem to corral. He only comes back to the house at night, so I went over there as late as I could, and I called for him as I always do, and since I haven't been back there in 3 days I heard him meowing. I kept calling him and he finally came running up from the woods. He was hungry, but really missing some affection. I was able to get him in the pet carrier to bring him back with me. Since I let him out in my house, he has stayed under my bed. I text my sister to come and get him. blackkitty


He'll be happier if she can reunite him with Tiffie, the female cat that my sister took to Texas with her. yes


Meanwhile, I'm trying to break Baby from table food, and making some progress, when today at the old house she sniffs out a mole, in the ground, and digs it up and eats it. scared


Gotta have that fresh meat. lab


I'm sure the new owner will appreciate one less mole tunneling around his yard. puppy


Have a happy day everybody.



joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #991242
12/02/14 10:09 PM
12/02/14 10:09 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great day Joe. Thanks for posting all the jokes. thumbsup


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #991244
12/02/14 10:16 PM
12/02/14 10:16 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Hope your sister shows up to help the kitty, Joe! Congratulations to Baby on her new found mole hunting abilities. lol

Have a great day, Space Quest.

It's Tuesday night for me, and I'm off to sleep once again for day three of my six day work week. Should I be counting up or counting down? lol

Okay, off to sleep. Have a great Wednesday, everyone. winter


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #991249
12/02/14 10:53 PM
12/02/14 10:53 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Joe, I'm so glad you got Sambo. yay She will miss going out though, I'm sure. Merlin has been eating voles, muskrats etc since a pup. THey are good for them as long as they aren't where poison could be around. Well done Baby!

SpaceQ, how are you doing?

Venus, have a great day!

I'm heading for lunch with Sam today. I was supposed to go shopping at JC Penneys today but what I wanted just went up in price. I wish I would have ordered online when I saw it. We will wander around the mall anyways.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Hump Day [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #991272
12/03/14 02:42 AM
12/03/14 02:42 AM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer
Drmojo  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
HEY YA BOOM BOOM BUDDIES wave

Hi ya Joe~ So happy you got Sambo home catrub
usually if you keep a cat in the house for a week or 2
then they get the idea new home well usually anyway snicker cats hate to move blackkitty
my cats kill all the moles around here kitty


Hey ya Space~ How ya doing? got any snow?? how's your dogs? puppy


Hi Venus! How are you?? how's your kitties? cat
where are you working now?



Hey ya Ana~ How's that sweet baby James doing??
you got lots of snow? its been very cold here! we still have snow cause its too COLD to melt! its 21% tonight shiver lab




Hi ya Nan! How are you doing? bet you got lots of snow! how cold is it there? shiver
How much does Miss Sassy weigh?? what size coats does she wear? puppy
getting a new pup tomorrow!! woot


Have a nice day Boomers~Karen shiver winter


"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #991282
12/03/14 06:05 AM
12/03/14 06:05 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
blackkitty Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Ana, venus and Karen. Coffee's on and hot. Joe glad to hear you got Sambo home safe and sound. SpaceQ how are you doing? Venus hope the rest of your work week speeds by! Ana enjoy you lunch with Sam. Karen when's your next Doctor appointment? Hope it's a beautiful day for everyone! blackkitty


Gerry
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #991292
12/03/14 07:47 AM
12/03/14 07:47 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,021
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,021
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow have a Wonderful Hump Day. Danish, Omelets, and Waffles in the NC. winter


Connie
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #991299
12/03/14 09:09 AM
12/03/14 09:09 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Good morning boomers. Have a wonderful Wednesday everybody smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #991311
12/03/14 10:22 AM
12/03/14 10:22 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers lab

Joe, enjoy your morning off. Glad you got Sambo.

Space, good morning!

Venus, hope your workday runs smoothly.

Ana, enjoy your lunch and shopping.

Karen, have a super day. Enjoy the new pup!

Gerry, coffee please and thank you!

Connie, Danish sounds great.

Manxman, happy day wishes.

A trip to BJ's is on the agenda today. Wishing everyone a wonderful Hump Day! happydance


Gail
Re: Hump Day [Re: GBC] #991316
12/03/14 11:00 AM
12/03/14 11:00 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Good morning all. wave

I had a terrible night. The cat kept waking me up all night long. I could mask the sound with my fingers in my ears, but when I'd fall asleep my fingers would come out of my ears of course. razz

Sometimes I wish I were born just a big deaf ear. lol

It's very overcast here. We may get some rain. yes

I clock in at Land of the Living Dead at 1:00, and I haven't heard anything from my sister yet. I sure hope she makes it. I just realized I don't have a litter box. The cat's gonna have to go outside here soon. eek

I'm afraid he may run off if I let him out. rolleyes

I hope everyone has a super day. rah

joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Hump Day [Re: GBC] #991317
12/03/14 11:01 AM
12/03/14 11:01 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Glad you got Sambo home! Happy Hump Day tooooooo yooooouuuuu!!!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #991321
12/03/14 11:23 AM
12/03/14 11:23 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe that's great that you were able to get Sambo!! Hope your sis shows up sooner then later. Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Space have a lovely day!

Ana enjoy lunch with your daughter and James. Have fun shopping. Sorry what you wanted just went up! Have a lovely day!

Karen there is hardly any snow here to speak about but it has been in the deep freeze for temps. I think Sassy is about 8.5#. I think she is a small but it is worn off. lol She is fussy cause she don't like anything that has legs. She just stands there and stares at me. lol Hope you are doing well and have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Connie thank you for the danish and have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

Gail have fun shopping and have a lovely day!

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #991345
12/03/14 01:12 PM
12/03/14 01:12 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning boomies! I'm skipping the shopping but still taking

Nan, have a wonderful day!

Darlene, happy hump day!

JOe, don't let Sambo out. I'm afraid you will lose her. She looked so grateful to be snuggled with you yesterday.

Gail, have fun shopping!

manxman, have a great day.

Connie, your California trip sounds like it was a great time!

Gerry, are you getting ready for the holidays?

Karen, all the snow melted on Saturday. I went from worried about slipping on ice walking the dogs to slipping on mud. It's a no win! lol All the best on your new foster. I hope you can get rid of her bad habits. puppy


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #991352
12/03/14 02:20 PM
12/03/14 02:20 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Joe, don't give up on Sambo as you've done the difficult part, capturing him. It's easy to set up a litter box, if I can do it anybody can. At this point he most likely would take off because he's confused and scared. Just keep at your sister and give her a sob story for S's behalf. He sounds like a nice cat. When we drive to Tulsa will we gp past your new home. We take 35 north east.

I made old fashioned New York cornbread and it's goooood. NYS cornbread has 1/4 cup sugar in it. Great dunked in coffee. Gonna try some on my possum friends.

Overcast and warmer today -kittycat day. I can keep the front door open so they will come in and out themselves. Whew!!!!!

Hugs and kisseys to Sambo


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Hump Day [Re: Yankee Clipper] #991354
12/03/14 02:30 PM
12/03/14 02:30 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Ok sis couldn't make it today. I found some bags of sand in the back by the storage shed, and got a cardboard box, and made a liter box, he just used it. woot

Now I've gotta keep him until this weekend, before my sister can get here. smirk

I've gotta go to work. yes

I will see you all tonight. happydance

joe wave


Last edited by gymcandy1; 12/03/14 02:31 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #991362
12/03/14 03:36 PM
12/03/14 03:36 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Joe!!!!!!!!!!!My Hero!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I bet you are more handsome than Errol Flynn was. Sambo might get to liking life with You. Thank you.

Possums like NYS cornbread and how to they ever.


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #991369
12/03/14 04:54 PM
12/03/14 04:54 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Hump Day [Re: gymcandy1] #991382
12/03/14 08:50 PM
12/03/14 08:50 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Good afternoon SpaceQ!

Yankee, how is the opossum doing? My hubby loves cornbread, it always gets stuck in my throat. lol

Joe, so glad you got something that works for SAmbo! Hope your customers are kind.


Don't feed the Trolls
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