Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light.
Jennie Jerome Churchill (1854 - 1921)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom.
Lady 1: Where'd you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, the first lady hobbled into the local drugstore and announced to the pharmacist that she wanted to buy a package of condoms.
The guy looked at her kind of strangely (she was, after all, in her 80s), but politely asked what brand she preferred.
"Doesn't matter," she replied, "as long as it fits a Camel."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Bumper StickersThis truck has been in 15 accidents...and hasn't lost one yet..
Someday your prince will come. Mine got lost took a wrong turn and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
Your lucky number is 32345543423225. Watch for it everywhere.
I tried to snort coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
Mustache rides 5 cents
So many stupid people, So few comets
If a couple divorce in Kentucky, are they still brother and sister?
Go ahead and honk. I'm reloading.
So many stupid people, not enough bullets in a clip.
It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
I read Playboy for the articles and watch Porn for the music
If you say one more word, I'm going to put my umbrella in your pants and open it.
Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk carton.
Die Yuppie Scum.
Bad cop...no donut.
The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train.
Dislexics of the world... UNTIE!!
Where There's A Whip, There's A Way.
The best way to change someone's mind is with a rock
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
Man who walks through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok
Guns are no more responsible for killing people than the spoon is responsible for making Rosie O'Donnell fat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy goes into the store and says to the clerk, I would like some Polish Sausage. The clerk looks at him and says "Are you Polish?"
The guy says "Well, yes I am. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian??? or if I had asked for German sausage, would you ask me if I was German??" Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican?
The clerk says "Well, no."
The guy says "Then, why do you ask me if I'm Polish just because I ask for Polish sausage????"
The clerk says "Because this is a hardware store."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend...................part 2.
HEY! Wanna hear a joke?
joe---"Why was Olive mean to Rudolph?"
Diner Patrons---"Olive who?"
joe---"Olive the other raindeer."
Oops, I already posted some jokes up above.
That's ok, just consider that last joke as a down payment on tomorrow's diner.
My sinuses are really kicking my nasal cavity, so I'ma gunna post this, sign off, and put myself to bed.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Good Morning Joe, Haroula and All Boomers! It's a cold morning here but the sun will shine today! Coffee is ready. 
Happy Day All! 
Good morning everyone. Our luncheon yesterday was Great. Breakfast out this morning and a trip to one of the Warehouse stores. Not sure which one yet, I'll let Robert pick. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Sunday. Eggs, Bacon, Sausage, BB Pancakes, Hash Browns, and Biscuits in the NC. Biscuit Bottoms for L4L. 
Perhaps Thorsgoats and I will play some Dreamfall Chapters when he gets home, since he hasn't finished it yet. 
Have an easy peasy day!
