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Merry Monday Morning #993183
12/15/14 01:54 AM
12/15/14 01:54 AM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
Anne Frank (1929 - 1945), Diary of a Young Girl, 1952
~~~~~~~~~~~~


A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!”

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~


A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune....

"One US soldier is better than ten Taliban"

The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune, whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes then ssilence. The voice then call out.....

"One US soldier is better than one hundred Taliban"

Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune, and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The voice calls out again....

"One US soldier is better than one thousand Taliban".

The enraged Taliban commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannons, rockets and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.

Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with
his dying words tells his commander..... "Don't send any more men....it's a trap....there's two of them!"...
~~~~~~~~~~~


Funny Bumper Stickers

I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die

My car's not a tree hugger, I'm drunk you idiot!

Beer -- Helping Ugly People Get Laid Since 1837

Rehab is for Quitters

I may be drunk, but you are down right ugly, and I shall be sober in the morning

An Irishman is not drunk so long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the earth.

Milk sucks, got beer?

1 Tequila 2 Tequila 3 Tequila Floor

Save a tree; eat a beaver.

A cat by any other name is still a furry little hairball that messes behind the couch.

If my dog had a face as ugly as your's, I would shave his behind and teach him to walk backwards!

I need someone really bad, are you really bad?

I used to wonder why God made ugly people, then I realized it was so people like me could get a good laugh.

Firefighters: we find them hot, and leave them wet!

Can I have your number, I'll call you when my dog is in heat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I've made lot$ of friend$ and am $tudying hard. With all my $tuff i $imply can't think of anything i need, $o if you would like you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, your $on.

Reply from Dad..

Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study hard eNOugh
Love, Dad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things We Learnd From The Movies

*During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

*All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

*Beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman; but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

*The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty

*Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

*A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

*Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

*If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

*Cars that crash will invariably burst into flames.

*Stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.

*If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that could be cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut.

*Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

*A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.

*All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts, so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

*When in love, it is customary to burst into song.

*When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.

*One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at 1 man.

*If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a bath. German bullets are unable to penetrate water.

*Laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of an invading alien civilization.

*Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - especially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident.

*All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software.

*Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

*When they are alone, foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

*If you are a hero, you never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste by your actions.

*You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

*Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

*You can tell if somebody is British because he will be wearing a bow tie.

*When driving a car, it is normal to look not at the road but rather at the person sitting beside you or in the back seat for the entire journey.

*Taxi drivers don't require exact or even approximate payment - the first bill you pull from your pocket is always correct.

*Having a job of any kind will make a father forget his son's eighth birthday.

*Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before retirement.

*The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. christmas


When I got home from work I was so wrapped up in getting something to eat, and something for my babies to eat, and watching the Cowboys/Eagles game, (by the way the Cowboys beat the snot out of the cheesy Eagles), that I almost forgot to post the diner entirely. shocked


In fact, I turned my computer off to go to bed and realized I had not posted. duh12


So here it is , and here again we have severe storms.; I've lost my TV signal, so I'm posting this asap.


Have a super happy day everyone. thumbsup12


joe


RATS!!!! I can't post. No signal. Guess I'll wait. cry12


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Merry Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #993185
12/15/14 02:19 AM
12/15/14 02:19 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Good morning Joe and all. wave12
Is hubby nameday,so a party is in order tonight. santadance
Have all a happy day. happydance12


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Merry Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #993190
12/15/14 05:12 AM
12/15/14 05:12 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
Work whoosh time. wave12 Have a great day, everyone. tree


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Merry Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #993191
12/15/14 05:32 AM
12/15/14 05:32 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
tree Good Morning Joe, Haroula and venus! Joe you posted! Haroula enjoy the party for your hubby. grin12 Venus "whoosh"

you didn't have to work today! blackkitty Coffee is on. Wishing everyone a great day! tree


Gerry
Re: Merry Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #993203
12/15/14 08:56 AM
12/15/14 08:56 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,020
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Monday. Sorry I forgot the Danish yesterday. Danish, Waffles, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. tree reindeer


Connie
Re: Merry Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #993207
12/15/14 09:13 AM
12/15/14 09:13 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good morning Boomers. wave12


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Merry Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #993209
12/15/14 09:22 AM
12/15/14 09:22 AM
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
MaG Offline
Sonic Boomer
MaG  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 69,973
Thanks, Joe for going through the trouble and post your awaited diner thread. Appreciated. flowers

Re: Merry Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #993216
12/15/14 09:51 AM
12/15/14 09:51 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers santadance

Joe, thanks for always being here for us. bravo12

Haroula, hope the party is a super duper one. Have fun! presents12

Venus, happy workday!

Connie, I guess I'm in need of two Danish this morning. lol12

Space, have a good day!

Gerry, enjoy whatever plans you have for the day.

MaG, good morning!

Sun is shining bright. I'll take the dogs for a walk this morning. Wishing everyone a wonderful day! happydance12


Gail
Re: Merry Monday Morning [Re: GBC] #993228
12/15/14 10:55 AM
12/15/14 10:55 AM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave12 Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers and stay safe in the storms! Happy Merry Monday Morning!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Merry Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #993229
12/15/14 10:56 AM
12/15/14 10:56 AM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Magnificient Monday Y'all puppy

Hack hack...cough cough....Up and moving, so that is a good thing. I have a few things to get done today. Can't believe that Christmas is in 10 days.

Happy Name Day to Hubby, Haroula. Hope the party is wonderful!

reindeer

Last edited by looney4labs; 12/15/14 11:25 AM.

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Merry Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #993244
12/15/14 12:13 PM
12/15/14 12:13 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Joe you made it!!! Thank you! Stay safe in the storms! thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Haroula happy name day to hubby!! Have a fun party and a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

venus happy whoooooshing! May work be fun and all go well. Have a lovely day!

lol12 Connie! No problem! The eggs and bacon were delish! Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Space have a lovely day!

wave12 MaG!! Have a lovely day!

Gail enjoy the sunshine for me. We haven't had any in like a week. It has been cloudy, foggy, and rainy! Now the temp is going down and it might be ice and snow. eek12 Have a nice walk with the dog and have a lovely day!

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly. Have a lovely day!

Oh L4l hope the cough, cough...hack, hack goes away soonest. HUGS! Have a lovely day!

Ana HUGS!!!

wave12
Nan

Re: Merry Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #993249
12/15/14 12:37 PM
12/15/14 12:37 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
L4L get well as now is a bad time to slow up.

Is everybody's shopping done. Mine is because I don't do that anymore -it's only for the young- and I've done my share. I send money to my grandchildren (4) and that's that.

Sleepy sleepy today, may have to go back to bed.

It's a lovely spring time day today. No clouds, full sun and warm -beautiful picnic weather.

Anyway all, time for shut eye now


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Merry Monday Morning [Re: looney4labs] #993314
12/15/14 08:40 PM
12/15/14 08:40 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
Hello everyone. santa

I hope you all had a super Monday. wink12

Hi MaG. Nice to see ya in the diner. flowers

My day off was ok, but my night was rough. I woke up in the middle of the night with a throbbing headache a horrific leg ache which still hurts. frown12

I had to get up and take pain reliever and try and go to sleep.

Fortunately I have a nuther day off tomorrow. bravo12

I hope you all have a nice evening. thumbsup12


joe


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Merry Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #993335
12/15/14 10:06 PM
12/15/14 10:06 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. sleep12


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Merry Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #993344
12/15/14 11:06 PM
12/15/14 11:06 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Just checking in to say good night. I've had a busy day. I worked another split shift, another one tomorrow. I hope you all had a good day. Everyone all set for Christmas?

See you tomorrow.

Midgie hearts sleep12


Just do it.
Re: Merry Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #993350
12/15/14 11:44 PM
12/15/14 11:44 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Night all, sweet dreams. sleep12


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Merry Monday Morning [Re: gymcandy1] #993361
12/16/14 12:16 AM
12/16/14 12:16 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
eek12 I thought I was here today but I guess not. I can't miss a day in my favorite diner. hearts

I had PT this morning and then did some Christmas shopping on the way home and then worked the rest of the day. I hope you all had a great day!


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