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Saturdiner #999280
01/23/15 11:16 PM
01/23/15 11:16 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
- W. C. Fields.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Actual Medical Record Entries Mistakes From Doctors


Discharge status: alive but without permission.

The patient has been depressed ever since
she began seeing me in 1983.

The patient refused an autopsy.

The patient has no past history of suicides.

Patient has left his white blood cells
at another hospital.

Between you and me, we ought to be able
to get this lady pregnant.

She is numb from her toes down.

Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband,
I thought you would like to work her up.

Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

Both breasts are equal and reactive
to light and accommodation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a while, but still just as funny.

Funniest Bush quotes for 2004 are:



10) “I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me.”
—Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004

9) “Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling.”
—Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004

8) “Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat.”
—Washington, D.C., Sept. 17, 2004

7) “It’s a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life.”
—Washington, D.C., Dec. 21, 2004

6) We will make sure our troops have all that is necessary to complete their missions. That’s why I went to the Congress last September and proposed fundamental — supplemental funding, which is money for armor and body parts and ammunition and fuel.”
—Erie, Pa., Sept. 4, 2004

5) “After standing on the stage, after the debates, I made it very plain, we will not have an all-volunteer army. And yet, this week — we will have an all-volunteer army!”
—Daytona Beach, Fla., Oct. 16, 2004

4) “Tribal sovereignty means that; it’s sovereign. I mean, you’re a — you’ve been given sovereignty, and you’re viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities.” —Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004

3) “I hear there’s rumors on the Internets that we’re going to have a draft.”
—second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

2) “Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.”
—Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

1) “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
—Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004
~~~~~~~~~~

Stupid and Funny Warning Labels and Product Instructions

You’ve probably seen some of these classic dumb, stupid and funny warning labels and product instructions before. Some are painfully obvious, some don’t quite master the English language, and others are unintended double meanings… Most are pretty darn funny. So, in case you missed any, here is a collection of the stupidest and funniest warning labels, most verified as authentic.



Do not use while sleeping.
Sears hair dryer

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
Bag of Fritos

Use like regular soap.
Dial soap

Serving suggestion: Defrost.
Swann frozen dinner

Fits one head.
Shower cap box

Do not turn upside down.
Bottom of Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert box

Product will be hot after heating.
Marks & Spencer bread pudding

Do not iron clothes on body.
Rowenta iron

Do not drive car or operate machinery.
Boot’s children’s cough medicine

Warning: May cause drowsiness.
Nytol

Warning: Keep out of children.
Korean kitchen knife

For indoor or outdoor use only.
Chinese Christmas lights

Not to be used for the other use.
Japanese food processor

Warning: Contains nuts.
Sainsbury’s peanuts

Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
American Airlines peanut packet

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
Swedish chainsaw
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


I've got news for them. The best way to iron clothes is while you're wearing them. thumbsup


It's also a good, great way to get rid of unwanted body hair. bravo


I'm happy to say that the skin will grow back, in case you're wondering. yes


Welcome to the weekend everyone. yay


Yesterday was a wee bit warmer, and I got out to go to Walmart, & took Baby out for a walk, not at Walmart, but around the block. grin


They do allow wiener dogs in Walmart, but I think you know where they have to stay. shiver


I know that because I bought some yesterday, and freed them. lab


I also bought them some buns to help keep them warm. wink


Have a happy day y'all.



joe

Last edited by gymcandy1; 01/23/15 11:19 PM.

There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #999283
01/24/15 12:09 AM
01/24/15 12:09 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Ah Joe, you always bring a smile to my face. How are you liking your new place? Do you like the neighbors?

My post-op went very well yesterday, they removed the steri-strips and you can't even tell where the holes are.

Have a happy day all! I'll be going out with friends to play darts late. Looking forward to it.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #999294
01/24/15 03:54 AM
01/24/15 03:54 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Have all a great day. happydance wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Saturdiner [Re: Haroula] #999300
01/24/15 04:52 AM
01/24/15 04:52 AM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer
Drmojo  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Hey ya Joe Thanks for the funny jokes
have a nice peacful day~ found any arrowheads lately??


hi ya Ana Have fun playing darts! glad your post-op went well yay


Hi Haroula Have a nice day flowers


I think we gonna need an Ark if it don;t stop
this icky blah yucky raining!
I heard a frog croaking tonight sure sign of spring!

Have a nice Saturday Boomers Karen


"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #999302
01/24/15 06:43 AM
01/24/15 06:43 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,110
Marlborough USA
winter happydance12 Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula and Karen. Happy day Joe. Ana so glad all went well. Haroula enjoy

your day. Karen I woke up to more than 6 inches of snow and it's still snowing! Hope your rain stops. Coffee is ready.

Hope you All have a great Saturday! happydance12 winter


Gerry
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #999308
01/24/15 09:03 AM
01/24/15 09:03 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
venus Offline
BAAG Specialist
venus  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 8,379
Arcadia (twin world of Stark)
lol Hope you have a great Saturday, Joe.

Have fun playing darts with your friends, Ana. happydance

Karen, that sounds like our weather here. smile Hope you get some sun in there somewhere.

Enjoy all your snow, Gerry. winter

Well, I'm back. lol I missed a couple of days because I was running late and didn't even have time for a whoosh in the morning. I'm off today, sitting here right now with kitty version Venus on my lap. kitty Like Karen, I have a rainy day here, which means gaming day. bravo

Hope everyone has a terrific Saturday. winter


Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

Helena: Where are these mangoes?
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #999311
01/24/15 09:46 AM
01/24/15 09:46 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
Good Morning Boomers happydance12

Joe, funny. lol

Ana, glad your Post-Op went well. Enjoy the Darts.

Haroula, happy day wishes.

Karen, want my snow instead?

Gerry, thanks for the coffee. Lots of snow here too.

Venus, enjoy your day off.

Snow, snow and more snow. Guess I won't be going out shopping today. Good gaming day! winter winter


Gail
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #999313
01/24/15 10:04 AM
01/24/15 10:04 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 29,026
Unionville
Good morning boomers. Hope everyone has a super Saturday smile


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #999334
01/24/15 12:30 PM
01/24/15 12:30 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
lol Joe, you are too funny! thanks for the laughs. Enjoy your day off and have a lovely day!

Ana glad your post-op went well. Have fun throwing the darts later. Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Karen it is cloudy here also but no rain at the moment. Hope the sunshines brightly for you soon. Have a lovely day!

Gerry becareful if you go out walking. Thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

venus rainy days and game do seem to go together. lol Enjoy and have a lovely day!

Gail that must be where our snow went. lol Enjoy it. We have none which is surprising for the time of year it is. Have fun gaming and a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

wave
Nan

Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #999338
01/24/15 01:14 PM
01/24/15 01:14 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
It's a gorgeous day and tomorrow the same. Everything soaked but rain is most wanted here. Bright, bright sun. Kits streeeeetched out on the sunny front porch.

dining on 2 scrambled eggs -kinda heavy with the hot sauce- 2 pieces of Pepperidge swirley light rhy and dark rhy bread toasted with lotsa butter and V8 juice. Yum, this aughta put me back to sleep.

Finally made some Mordor inroads. Hope I,m getting better at it.

Happy Saturday all


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Saturdiner [Re: Yankee Clipper] #999341
01/24/15 01:26 PM
01/24/15 01:26 PM
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
Darlene Offline
Adept Boomer
Darlene  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 10,450
Southern California
wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your Saturdiner is stupendous!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Off to a phone chat with best bud! woot

Happy Saturdiner to all!


Woohoo and booyah! smile Have an easy peasy day!
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #999353
01/24/15 02:30 PM
01/24/15 02:30 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Super Saturday ya'll puppy

The rain moved out and the sun found us. The sky is blue happydance

Hubby is out doing errands. Son just left witht the boys to go geochaching. When hubby gets back and the temps rise a bit, we will decamp to the park, but 'til then I'll do some creative bookkeeping.

When we get back from the park, I'll get some yogurt and dinner going. And that's my day in a nutshell.

Joe, eldest used to iron his clothes while wearing them all the time. I have pics.

Ana, have fun and hope there are many bulls-eyes in your day.

Haroula, wave

Doc, glad the frogs are out. How are you feeling?

Gerry, is it big, fat, pretty flakes?

Venus, have fun!

Gail, enjoy the gaming.

Manx, have a wonderful day.

Nan, enjoy the nonsnow day.

Yankee, your day sounds lovely.

Darlene, happy chatting.

Off to the books! wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: looney4labs] #999371
01/24/15 04:19 PM
01/24/15 04:19 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good afternoon Boomers. wave

I'm watching Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives on Food Network and Guy has one of the best jobs ever. happydance


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #999375
01/24/15 04:52 PM
01/24/15 04:52 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
lol Yes he does Space!

I hope you all are enjoying your day!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Saturdiner [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #999378
01/24/15 05:33 PM
01/24/15 05:33 PM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer
Drmojo  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Afternoon Boomers wave

Yankee is their a time difference in Texas and Washington?


still wet sloppy raining here YUK! razz
my cats Charlie & Puff are 15 yr old, you'd never know by the way they act, I went in the bathroom this morning and the had unrolled the whole roll of toilet paper!
they had it hanging off their heads and were eating
it lol they have cabin fever cat blackkitty

Reading a really good book by Tess Gerritson called
Die again, its about 7 people going on a African safari and their getting picked off one by one, its really good has the detectives Rizzoli & Isles in it sherlock


Bella kept me awake half the night so gonna go take a little snooze sleep

Have a nice afternoon/evening Boomers~Karen


"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #999410
01/24/15 08:43 PM
01/24/15 08:43 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Did you have a nice nap, Doc?

There'd be a 2 hour difference in time between Washington and Texas, I think. wave

Yogurt all tucked up. Now waiting on the chicken to come to temp so I can finish dinner. Then I'm going to collapse and clean my dvr a bit.

We all have a play tomorrow, Alice in Wonderland puppy


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: looney4labs] #999414
01/24/15 09:24 PM
01/24/15 09:24 PM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Drmojo Offline
Addicted Boomer
Drmojo  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,226
Washington In the Wet corner
Hi L4L you watching the play or are you in it?

how do you make yogurt? it sounds really good I love smoothies happydance

Thank you for answering about the time diff~ I had a nice nap until Bruno crawled on my stomach and licked me in the face puppy

Night Boomers~ sleep
only 5:30 here dinner time!


"Horses are smart"

"You never heard of a Horse going broke"
betting on Humans~ Will Rogers~
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #999419
01/24/15 09:58 PM
01/24/15 09:58 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Dinner done and now time for bath, bed, and book!

Doc, watching the play. I can't act rotfl

I make my yogurt in my crock pot. Heat the milk to 180 degrees. Let it cool to 115. Take out a little milk, add some starter to that and stir twice, put back in the crock pot, cover with loads of towels and go away. In the morning, the magic has happened. Then I strain mine cos I like greek style, so that takes another day, but that's because I like my yogurt almost cheese like.

I love smoothies too. Put all sorts of yummy tummy good stuff in there. Takes me about 30 minutes to make one and clean it up.

See ya'll tomrrow. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #999428
01/24/15 10:52 PM
01/24/15 10:52 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Midge Offline
Graduate Boomer
Midge  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 15,630
Massachusetts
Hi friends. Home from work and just relaxing after a scary ride home. It was snowing when I left the Blisses. I drove between 20 and 30 miles an hour. It was slippery to say the least. Said a prayer that He got me home safely. Tomorrow the Blisses will host a choir party from their church. Twenty eight guests will arrive about 12:30 in the afternoon. My normal shift hours are from 8 am to 11 am but tomorrow because the guests will arrive by 12:30 I'll stay until about 3:00 to help with everything along with another care giver ( my very good friend Margaret). It'll be a lot of work but with Margaret there it'll be fun. They are expected to leave about 3:00 in the afternoon. I'll leave for home for a bit but I'll have to go back to the Blisses for 5:00 and work until 8:00. It'll be a long day for me. Mike doesn't really understand how much work it is for Margaret and me and I'm done trying to explain it. It'll mean 10 hours for me. Whew! I'm tired just thinking about it. I'll let you know how it went.

I need to say good night now. smile

Midgie hearts


Just do it.
Re: Saturdiner [Re: gymcandy1] #999430
01/24/15 11:02 PM
01/24/15 11:02 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Offline
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,270
In the Naughty Corner
Midgie, so glad you got home safely! hearts Wish I could help you tomorrow, sounds like a lot of work!

L4L, enjoy your evening.

Doc, How is Bruno?

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
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