People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly.
Brendan Francis
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I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.
G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936)
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There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise.
Gore Vidal (1925 - )
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Amazing Anagrams
Anagrams are words or phrases made by transposing or rearranging letter of other words or phrases. This is a list of some pretty dam good ones, obviously there are people out there with way too much time on their hands.
Lets have a look at them...
"Dormitory" - Dirty Room
"Evangelist" - Evil's Agent
"Desperation" - A Rope Ends It
"The Morse Code" - Here Come Dots
"Slot Machines" - Cash Lost in 'em
"Animosity" - Is No Amity
"Mother-in-law" - Woman Hitler
"Snooze Alarms" - Alas! No More Z's
"Alec Guinness" - Genuine Class
"Semolina" - Is No Meal
"The Public Art Galleries" - Large Picture Halls, I Bet
"A Decimal Point" - I'm a Dot in Place
"The Earthquakes" - That Queer Shake
"Eleven plus two" - Twelve plus one
"Contradiction" - Accord not in it
"George Bush" - He bugs Gore
Here are some big daddy ones...
"To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune." Anagram: "In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten."
"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." Anagram: "A thin man ran; makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!"
"President Clinton of the USA" Anagram: "To copulate he finds interns."
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Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia ..
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 89 or 98.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
So I got my doctor's permission to
Join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
By the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For Fast Relief".
THE SENILITY PRAYER:
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.
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Aging Women
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She do es something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.
Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Here's an update for you... Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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Good morning everyboomie.
Welcome to the weekend!
It do feel good to have a Friday night off for a change.
I'm still tired and ready for bed at 10:00 though, and that was an hour ago.
Some things never change.
It may be two hours ago before I finish this post.
Collecting my thoughts has become such an ordeal.
Every night I go from room to room looking under beds, couches, pillows, cushions, in cabinets, and closets, behind books and book cases trying to find them.
I think they all escape when I'm laying on my side to sleep. They jump outta my ears and flee the scene.
I must sleep standing up from now on.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
I'm excited for my niece's wedding tonight. 
It's going to be a full day!
Good Morning Joe, Ana and Haroula and all on the way to the Diner. Joe you do make me smile too. Ana have a great time at the wedding! Haroula enjoy your Saturday. Coffee is ready! Wishing you all a nice day! 
Exercise.
Easier for him to climb the ladder, remove old one and replace than me trying to kill myself and pull muscles and hurt my back.
