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Monday Mourning #958551
05/25/14 09:00 PM
05/25/14 09:00 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
gymcandy1 Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
gymcandy1  Offline OP
Joe's Diner Proprietor
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 33,073
Calera, Oklahoma
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
Rita Rudner
~~~~~~~~~~

Puppy Photos

Photographing a new puppy isn't as easy as it may first sound...

Remove film from box and load camera.

Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.

Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.

Choose a suitable background for photo.

Mount camera on tripod and focus.

Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.

Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.

Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.

Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.

Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.

Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.

Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.

Put magazines back on coffee table.

Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.

Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.

Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"

Call spouse to clean up mess.

Fix a drink.

Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quick Jokes
Q. Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A. He's all right now.

Q. Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
A. He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.

Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.

Q. Where do you find a no legged dog?
A. Right where you left him.

Q. Where do you get virgin wool from?
A. Ugly sheep.

Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A. They're trying to get away from the noise.

Q. What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
A. They both circle Uranus looking for Black Holes.

Q. How do you double the value of a Geo Metro?
A. Fill it with gas.

Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. Why do chicken coops have two doors?
A. Because if it had four doors it's be a chicken sedan.

You should always give 100% at work...
12% Monday; 23% Tuesday; 40% Wednesday; 20% Thursday; 5% Friday

Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?
A. Ground beef.

Q. What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A. The taste!

Q. Did you hear about the new "divorced" Barbie doll that they're selling in stores now?
A. It comes with all of Ken's stuff.

Q. What does a skeleton get when he goes to a bar?
A. A beer and a mop.

Q. What's a hindu?
A. Lays eggs.

Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a room?
A. About two - if they're thinly sliced.

Q. What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche?
A. The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

Q. How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
A. Three - his left ear, his right ear, and his wild front ear.

Q. Did you hear about the blind man who went bungee jumping?
A. He loved it, but it scared the hell out of his dog.

Q. Why did the leper crash his car?
A. He left his foot on the accelerator.

Q. Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
A. Because it was dead.

Q. Why did the Leper go back into the shower?
A. He forgot his Head and Shoulders.

Q. What do you get when a Leper takes a bath?
A. Soup.

Q. Why did the ref call a penalty during the Leper Hockey game?
A. Because there was a face off in the corner.

Q. What's a Lepers favorite sport?
A. Football.

Q. What is Osama bin Laden's idea of safe sex?
A. Marking the camels that kick.

Q. What should Kabul get for its air defense system?
A. A refund.

Q. Why did the tree fall down?
A. The koala forgot to let go.

Q. What do you call 100 men at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.

Q. What's the difference between a woman and a computer?
A. A computer only needs the information punched into it once.

Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they taste funny.

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No-Eye Deer. (sound like No Idea)

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A. Still no eye deer.

Q. Who is the poorest guy in West Virginia?
A. The Tooth Fairy

Q. Did you hear that Fed Ex and UPS are going to merge?
A. Yeah. They're going to call it FED UP!

Q. What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?
A. The car salesman can probably drive!

Q. What do your boss and a slinky have in common?
A. They're both fun to watch tumble down the stairs.
~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. welcome


WE're having rain again, and I already lost my internet in light rain. I'm hoping we get heavier rain and storms tonight. happydance

Anyway I want to get something posted before I lose it again. yes


Two down, two to go. Yahoo! yay


The last two are nights. thumbsdown


Happy Memorial Day everybody. thumbsup


joe USA


There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

William Butler Yeats
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958560
05/25/14 10:14 PM
05/25/14 10:14 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Have a great day everyone. USA


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958565
05/25/14 11:40 PM
05/25/14 11:40 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
auntiegram Offline
Adept Boomer
auntiegram  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 14,625
northern Wisconsin
Thanks Joe, may you have a happy Memorial Day also!! Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Space Happy Memorial Day to you also!! Have a lovely day!

I will be MIA all day!! lol Heading for Minneapolis to watch the Twins play baseball with my daughter and granddaughters!!! Should be a fun day! happydance

Sending prayers for the Band to be around all those that might be traveling. May all have a safe and fun Memorial Day!!!

sleep
Nan

Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958568
05/26/14 12:02 AM
05/26/14 12:02 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
Have fun nan,Space and joe! Have a happy day!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958576
05/26/14 01:20 AM
05/26/14 01:20 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Have a great day boomers. smile wave


I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958581
05/26/14 01:42 AM
05/26/14 01:42 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
Have a great day Haroula!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958591
05/26/14 05:11 AM
05/26/14 05:11 AM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,096
Marlborough USA
Kaki's Sister Offline
Sonic Boomer
Kaki's Sister  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 25,096
Marlborough USA
USA Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Nan, Ana, and Haroula. Joe hope you don't loose the internet. SpaceQ enjoy your day. Nan sounds like a fun day. Ana hope you get to relax today. Haroula wishing you a fun day too. A peaceful day wished for all! USA


Gerry
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958602
05/26/14 07:16 AM
05/26/14 07:16 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,014
winter springs fl.
connie Offline
Graduate Boomer
connie  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 16,014
winter springs fl.
Good morning everyone. Gail, I hope your feeling better today. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Memorial Day. Danish, Apple Turnovers, Bacon Sandwiches, and Blueberry Muffins in the NC. USA


Connie
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958608
05/26/14 08:14 AM
05/26/14 08:14 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 28,972
Unionville
manxman Online content
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Online Content
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 28,972
Unionville
Good morning boomers. Hope everyone is enjoying their Monday wave


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958655
05/26/14 12:31 PM
05/26/14 12:31 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Magnificent Monday ya'll lab


Boys are at mom's for a couple of days. Doggies and I left for our walk just after mom picked them up. We bopped around our neighborhood and got to play with Chipper (choclate lab next door) for a minute. THen back home to feed us all and now it's time to cook the books. Think I'll grill them as it's Memorial Day and everyone is grilling. wave

Nan, enjoy the ball game happydance


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958660
05/26/14 12:54 PM
05/26/14 12:54 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
Good morning everyone! We painted the town red last night and I'm still laughing over our antics. lol HUbby is out golfing with BIL and I am finishing our honey-do lists for the weekend. I already went to the grocery store, watered the plants and sod, now it's doggy time and then to lay the weed barrier and newspapers down in the garden. A trip to Menards to get mulch will be in order after that. I had to scrap my rocks idea after the quarry quoted me a price. rotfl Lets just say it was about 1600 dollars more than I planned for. eek eek

Have a happy day!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958677
05/26/14 01:22 PM
05/26/14 01:22 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
Yankee Clipper Offline
Addicted Boomer
Yankee Clipper  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,402
Lexington, Texas
It's rainingraining thunder and lightening and cold -only 70 and that's brrrrr. It's a game day!!!!!!! And I hear something scratching in the furnace room. I guess mice have to come in out of the rain too. Cats all ran in the front door and each have found thier little sleeping place and it's quiet.

Enjoy this day and reflect upon it's meaning


I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958695
05/26/14 02:42 PM
05/26/14 02:42 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
I stole your heat Yankee! It's 90 and I am loving every second!


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #958708
05/26/14 04:03 PM
05/26/14 04:03 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
We are at 86 here Ana. woozy


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958710
05/26/14 04:14 PM
05/26/14 04:14 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
We in the 90's....eek puppy


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958714
05/26/14 04:25 PM
05/26/14 04:25 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Things were going SO well, Until...

Back doorbell rang. It was my middle tenants. The ones who are oh so quiet and nice and DUMB! It's been almost exactly a year since the sewer pump was clogged by them putting 'baby wipes' down the toilet. That little snafu cost me over 800 bucks to resolve. It's always 600 or more when this happens. Simple fix, just labor, but they always write it down as fix, repair, etc. Not a good deal.

So here I was sitting all nice and comfy and then I looked at the calendar and noticed that a year ago, it was the big pump clog and I was musing about how it hadn't happened since. Home free?

Nope, son came up and said sewer was backing up in the house and pump wasn't running. He was right. Pump wasn't running and the concrete wall pit was full to the soil line. Caught this early this time before it seeped up and over the top and into the surrounding dirt.

Tried pump 'bypass' it worked, and drained all the water above the holding tank. The rest must sink into the soil on it's own. Finally used a pole to poke and prod and got the float to trigger on when the tank filled, but it's running every 30-60 seconds and not completely emptying the tank as it should. My electric bill will be going up up up.

Soooo at least it's not backing up into the houses now. BUT I have NO money to call a plumber. Nada, nothing, nothing left on my credit cards, nothing in the checking account. Waiting for another week till I get my pay from retirement, and the rent check from them. I can't call a plumber so this will have to do for now.

It's obvious that the pump is CLOGGED with something being sucked in but not going through. Funny how this ALWAYS happens after a BIG party down there????? I told the son, I told the mom. They are acting oblivious as usual. I'm sure one of the many party goers from the big gala birthday bash for the dad flushed 'something' they shouldn't have. This is despite my pleadings to the tenants to INFORM all guests of things NOT to flush. (Gee, if they can't get the parking rules right, can I really expect them to tell guests about the toilet rules?) Silly me.

Gonna cost me a bundle again, nothing I can do except fix it or kick out the tenants with a 60 day notice. Ugh. Sometimes I would love to just have that house empty, but then I really need the rent to survive.

I will wait the week until I get some money in, going down to manually plug in the by-pass pump if I have to until I can afford a plumber. Not a happy day here. Darn darn darn. hardwall


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958716
05/26/14 04:30 PM
05/26/14 04:30 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Aw, Sorta, so sorry....


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: looney4labs] #958741
05/26/14 07:41 PM
05/26/14 07:41 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,256
Phoenix, AZ USA
luv2travel Offline
Addicted Boomer
luv2travel  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,256
Phoenix, AZ USA
We're in the 100s here!

Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958747
05/26/14 08:09 PM
05/26/14 08:09 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
Wow, hope we don't get there wave


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958750
05/26/14 08:51 PM
05/26/14 08:51 PM
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
Sorta Blonde Offline
BAAG Specialist
Sorta Blonde  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,848
San Diego, CA
A little better news I hope. Been jamming that pole down into the sump tank all day. Finally felt something 'give' and I think the think is temporarily working. Not perfect, the float is triggering when it's only 1/3 full, but it's something to give me hope. Finally got a BRIGHT flashlight and saw I had indeed dislodged the float from the side of the tank where it had been adhered with clumps of grease. They use a ton of grease cooking there and although I keep saying NOT to pour it down ANY drain, I think they still manage to get a bunch of it. Then it floats on the top of the water, the float comes up, gets a layer on it and then more layers and eventually it sticks to the side of the tank or any of the 'pipes' going in. Maybe I've got it for a few more days of working (even if it's triggering early and will cost me electricity) but it's working...wheeeee. Gonna stretch out that huge cleanout bill for another few weeks, if all goes well. Still praying that this works all night and on and on.


WARNING! This person is extremely blonde...please type SLOWLY.
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958754
05/26/14 09:03 PM
05/26/14 09:03 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
looney4labs Offline
Sonic Boomer
looney4labs  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 48,905
Alabama
I hope it keeps working til you can afford to fix it. Maybe if they shared in the repair expense they'd remember to keep grease out of it.

I'm heading to bed with a book. Sweet dreams all sleep


"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-Roger Caras
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958756
05/26/14 09:27 PM
05/26/14 09:27 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
Hawks are playing and I really hope they can win this one! If you hear me yelling that's why. lol

Other than that, I'm being lazy and I am in slug mode. grin I wish I had another few days off.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: BrownEyedTigre] #958759
05/26/14 09:50 PM
05/26/14 09:50 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Space Quest Fan Offline
Graduate Boomer
Space Quest Fan  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 16,783
Upper Arlington, Ohio
Good night Boomers. wave


It's nice to be important but it is much more important to be nice.
Re: Monday Mourning [Re: gymcandy1] #958763
05/26/14 11:08 PM
05/26/14 11:08 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
BrownEyedTigre Online content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
BrownEyedTigre  Online Content
The Sassy Admin and PR Liaison
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 83,238
In the Naughty Corner
Sweet dreams SpaceQ.

Ana wave


Don't feed the Trolls
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