It’s absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we’ve got rockets, we’ve got Saran Wrap—FIX IT!!!

—Lewis Black

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1) Words: Short, But So SuccinctWord Jokes: Declaration of Independence

Pythagoras: 24 words

The Lord's Prayer: 66 words

Archimedes' Principle: 67 words

The Ten Commandments: 179 words

Lincoln's Gettysburg Address: 286 words

The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words


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Phyllis Diller Humour

Best way to get rid of kitchen odours: Eat out.

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.


The U.S. government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words

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Examples of Oxymorons

Pretty Ugly
Microsoft Works
Work Party
Loners Club
Swiss Navy
Stripper's Dressing Room
Alone in a crowd

Curious English Words

Exegete: one who explains or interprets difficult parts of written works.
Spoony: foolishly or sentimentally in love.
Visage: the face; also, appearance; aspect.
Quiddity: the essence or nature of a thing.
Sesquipedalian: (of words) long; having many syllables.
Predilection: an established preference.
English Words with Quirky Logic

Have you noticed that there is neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
French fries do not originate in France.
A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And there are no hogs in Hogmanay.
Quicksand only works slowly
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
When you are incommunicado: you are without the means to communicate.

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Playing with a Funny Word or Two - The Illogical English Language

Why do performers recite a play, yet play at a recital?
When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
Dessie decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
The city tip was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
In the boat, a row erupted amongst the oarsmen about how to row.
Chloe was too close to the door to close it.
Sherrie shed her shoes in the shed.
Why do our noses run but our feet smell?
Freddie filled in his form by filling it out.

Funny Collective Nouns


A sentence of judges
A load of cobblers
An expectation of midwives
A conflagration of arsonists
An illusion of magicians
A horde of misers
An exaggeration of fishermen
A flush of plumbers
A scoop of journalists
A decanter of publicans

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Washington Post's Word Mensa Invitational Challenge

Word Mensa is an unusual challenge where you take a word, alter it by one letter, then supply a new definition.

Paymeant: the cheque is in the post
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Glibido: All talk and no action

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Toponymy - The Study of Unusual Names

Beersville, is a fine town in Pennsylvania
Hellhole, is depressingly to be found in Idaho
Hardup, is in the poor [you must be joking] state of Utah
Rudeville, surprisingly perhaps is in New Jersey
Hell, is in Michigan [Some other places too, I suspect]
Dulls Corner, is in Maryland [Do they wear pointy hats there?]
Toad Suck, is a found in Arkansas

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Beware! Amusing Children's Names

Seymour Legg
Sean Head
Tim Burr
Woody Bush
Doug Graves
Lowden Clear
Bernd Onions
Artie Choke
Lisen Tomey

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Good Wednesday morning everyboomie.


I've had a very long Tuesday, and still feel really rough, or as Baby would say, "I feel ruff."


Time for me to take my cocktail of pills, and hope I can sleep all night.


Wednesday is Friday for me, so there's that. La La La La La


I hope you all have a happy day.


joe

Have a great Wednesday Joe and my fellow Boomers.

Happy Hump day all!

Joe, hope you feel better.

It's still Tuesday night for me right now. I had an injection in my back today that hurt like heck. The one I had in January didn't hurt at all, but it didn't work either. I sure hope this one works. I will know in 10 days to 2 weeks if it did. I have kept ice on the injection site all evening.
Joe, I am glad your back feels better, but sorry your throat and sinus are hurting. Feel better soon.
It was about 85F today. Wish I had some of that snow from you northerners.
Have a good hump day!
Andrea

Good Morning Joe, SpaceQ, Ana, Andrea and everyone. Joe feel better. SpaceQ and Ana enjoy your day. Andrea hope you feel better. Coffee and tea are ready and the snow is falling again! Snow squalls are expected off and on all day. Wishing you all a sunny day!

Good morning everyone. Nan , Birthday Cupcakes in the NC. To all here and all that follow, have a Great Hump Day. Gail, I'll take some of that Snow thank you. Danish, Bacon Sandwiches, and Oatmeal with assorted toppings in the NC.

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, wishing you a wonderful day!

Space, good morning.

Andrea, it's snowing here AGAIN. I'll send you all the snow you want. We have enough to go around.

Ana, enjoy whatever your plans today.

Gerry, coffee pleeeese and thank you.

Connie, oh boy, you want snow? You got it on it's way. All you want.

Snowing again and again. Been waiting for a new kitchen stove to be delivered and they keep canceling due to the snow. Hope it comes today regardless. Wishing everyone a wonderful day!

Good morning boomers. Have a wonderful Wednesday

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope you got a good night's sleep and that your Friday goes easy peasy! Happy Hump Day!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!

Joe prayers the back begins to feel better for you!! May work fly so you can get to your days off. Thanks for the chuckles and have a lovely day!

Space have a lovely day!

Ana any fun plans for the day?? Have a lovely day!

Andrea prayers that this injection does the trick!! HUGS! We have very little snow to share, which is unusual for here, but I gladly will share our cold! It is -9 so a little to you would be just fine!!! Have a lovely day!

Gerry enjoy the falling snow and be safe. Thanks for the coffee and have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for the wishes and the birthday cupcakes!!! Yummmm!! As I told Andrea, I would gladly send a little of our cold air your way for a little warmth!! Have a lovely day!

Gail I hope the snow stops so they can deliver the stove for you!!! Have a lovely day!

Manxman have a lovely day!

Darlene may work go smooth and you have a lovely day!


Nan

Hey Andrea! Since I've had a major back problem for 5 years now, and have had 4 of those back shots, I can tell you that IF it hurts, it means they hit the 'right' spot. Healing thoughts coming your way for a GOOD outcome this time.

It's been in the 50's for a few weeks, then a huge wind/rain storm last week, NOW, it's in the 80's! Gads. Warm dry awesome weather. I can't keep up with it. Had to drag out real t-shirts instead of sweatshirts for this week. I'd forgotten where I stored them for the 'winter'. Next week? Probably freezing or hurricanes or tornados or?

Still waiting word on when I get my ride-a-long with the local Police. They have to schedule 25 of us during February and it's almost half gone. Gee.

Something is dead again under my deck. Just a slight 'whiff' every once in a while. I'm trying to pinpoint the exact spot, but so far no luck. No Outdoorsies are missing anywhere and the neighbor's animals are all accounted for. I'm guessing possum or possum babies, or raccoons or some food that the raccoons dragged in for munching on later. Ditto on the possums storing something. Ugh.

Off to buy new vitamins. I just noticed mine expired in early 2015. Guess it's time to check all my expiration dates. What other goodies might I find that expired years ago? It's always fun hunting.

Off to Wally Mart for Vitamins.

Thanks Sorta and everyboomie!
It didn't hurt at all really in January compared to yesterday. I just about leapt off the table and my left leg burned all the way down the nerve to my toes. I do hope for good results. When it works it lasts a long time and makes my life so much better. I really don't want surgery. This Dr. has no bedside manner to speak of and his staff for the most part follow his lead. He only does injections on Tuesday and it's like a assembly line with many people waiting in line for service. I think it affects the outcomes because he seems to forget specific issues. Also the Dr. and his staff ignore the patient on the table and talk and joke among themselves. I may be looking to change pain Drs.
BTW we are having the same kind of weather as you are.
Andrea

Have a great Wednesday, everyone.

Andrea, hope you are healing well! As to your doctor with bad bedside manners, I had that experience with a nurse once. I had a broken leg, was leaving the hospital and asked for her help. She refused to give it to me and sat there and joked with her co-worker instead. I can only imagine how hard it must be with a doctor who is constantly like that.

Nan!

Hi guys,

Dropping in to say "hi" before dropping back into bed.

Nan

Good afternoon Boomers.

Are you under the weather looney?

Well, I'm finally back online today. I had to have Windows 10 reinstalled this week. Then I couldn't get on because I didn't have the password. What a week. If you are still offering breakfast Connie, Can I please have BB pancakes tomorrow morning? I really miss them.

I missed everyone here. Can anyone tell me how to get the apps back on my desktop? Like GB app. My g mail app. When my computer was reinstalled I lost all my pictures, all my music, and I haven't figured out what else I lost yet. Oh man I wish I could find a way to get back what I lost.

Midgie

back Midgie.

I hope you get your computer problems fixed.

Midgie, welcome back! We missed you too! Please post in glitches for computer help. They can walk you through it I'm sure.

One of my nieces just let me know that another of my nieces (brother's only daughter)died today from cancer. It started a few years ago from breast cancer, and we thought she had won the battle, but it came back and was in every part of her body. This disease is so evil. It takes all ages and all walks of life.
Andrea

Hi Ana I never thought of asking them for help. I don't know how to get my pictures back. I hope they can help me.

Midgie

Andrea, I am so sorry. How very sad. My heart goes out to you and family.

Midgie