I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.
Stephen Hawking (1942 - )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

TRAFFIC LIGHT -- apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches.

DIVORCE -- postgraduate in School of Love.

PIONEER -- early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods.

PEOPLE -- some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what's happened.

SWIMMING POOL -- a mob of people with water in it.

SELF-CONTROL -- the ability to eat only one peanut.

SALESMAN -- man with ability to convince wife she'd look fat in mink.

CANNIBAL -- person who likes to see other people stewed.

EGOCENTRIC -- a person who believes he is everything you know you are.

FOREIGN FILM -- any movie shown in Texas theater that isn't a western.

OPTIMIST -- girl who regards a bulge as a curve.

MAGAZINE -- bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue.

COLLEGE -- The four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone.

EMERGENCY NUMBERS -- Police station, fire department and places that deliver.

OPERA -- When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings.

BUFFET -- A French word that means "Get up and get it yourself."

BABY-SITTER -- A teen-ager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teen-agers.

TATTOO -- Permanent proof of temporary insanity.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day, an American insurance company received a letter from a lady saying that unfortunately they have to cancel her husband's life insurance policy.

'We always paid it in time', she wrote, 'but since my dear husband's sudden death last year we have had some financial hardship; therefore, we would like not to pay it anymore'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ultimate rejection letter

Herbert MillingtonChair - Search Committee, Whitson University, College Hill, MA

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then. Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,

Chris L. Jensen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle.

It's for my husband, she tells the clerk.

Did he tell you what gauge to get? asked the clerk.

Are you kidding? she says. He doesn't even know that I'm going to shoot him!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How to lie with statistics

It's like the tale of the roadside merchant who was asked to explain how he could sell rabbit sandwiches so cheap. "Well" he explained, "I have to put some horse-meat in too. But I mix them 50:50. One horse, one rabbit."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.

FINALLY it's here!

It's finally bedtime.

I'm so tired I think I could sleep all night.

Novel idea huh?

Oops sorry! You all are trying to wakey wakey.

AH.....go ahead and take a seat in the diner, take some coffee, take some breakfast, take your time, take whatever you want, but take it quietly please. No merriment. "SHHHHHHH"

I'll be along directly.

Have a happy day everybody.

Shhhhherlock

I hope you are having a nice sleep in with Baby. I'll be quiet, I promise.

It's hubby's birthday today so not sure what's in the agenda. He has the day off but he is working a few hours on a side job and then having lunch with friends. I'll be at Zumba early and then I will turn into the cleaning fairy.

Hope you all have a fantastic day!

Ana

Good morning Joe,Ana to your hubby Ana! I could use the cleaning fairy here!!Coffee is ready have a great day everyone

Good morning boomers.
Joe
Ana to your hubby
Sue have a nice day
To all have a happy day

Hello and goodbye.

Good morning. It's Friday already? Boy, Christmas will be here before you know it. I have an early shift today then I have the rest of the day off. Not a bad day. Thanks for opeing Joe. We'll all keep the noise down. Give baby a gentle hug from me please. Have you ever posted a picture of Baby? I'd love to see her. Morning Ana. to your hubby. Hi Sue, Haroula, venus, and everyone who follows me in today.

Hope you all have a great Friday. See you after work. Exercise please.

Midgie

Good Morning Joe, Ana, Cailyn, Haroula, venus and Midgie. Joe I'll tread softly! Ana wishing your hubby a very Happy Birthday! Cailyn how are you feeling? Haroula hope the sun shines on your day! Venus put the breaks! Midgie enjoy your short work day. Happy Day wished for all!

Good morning all. Hope everyone has a super Friday.

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, I'm slipping silently into the corner.

Ana, Happy Birthday to you hubby. When you turn into the cleaning fairy please stop by my place. Have fun at Zumba.

Cailyn, coffee is much appreciated this morning.

Haroula, happy day!

Venus, hi and bye.

Midgie, I was just thinking how close Christmas is. Time is just flying by.

Gerry, enjoy the day!

Manxman, good morning.

Rainy day here. Rainy day = gaming day. Woo Hoo!

Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your TGIF is terrific!

Hey, Ana! to your Hubby!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

It's the weekend!!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!

Whooshing off to Zumba! Hope you all are having a happy Friday!

Good morning everybody.

Once again I'm headed out to spend time at Mom's and try and get more done.

It's been gorgeous outside the last few days, with highs in the mid 70s. Perfect!

I hope you all have a perfect day too.

joe

Joe I hope you can have some fun today instead of sawing trees and burning the brush! Thanks for the chuckles.

Ana to hubby!! May he have a wonderful day full of fun plans after his side job! Have fun at class.

Haroula have a lovely day!

venus happy whoooooshing!!

Cailyn thanks for getting the coffee started. Have a lovely day!

Gail it is raining here again today also. That makes about four days in a row. I'm hoping it will clear soon. Have fun gaming.

Midge Gerry and Manxman! Have a lovely day!

Darlene may work go smoothly today!!

No plans till taxi time and another night volunteering at the Moose fish fry!


Nan

So after my neighbor and I called in the 'abandoned' truck with expired tags that was blocking our view and making it hard to get out of our driveways safely, they tagged it yesterday afternoon.

I bet her that it would be moved by nightfall. I was right. It disappeared between 9 and 10 pm. We both figured that it belongs to someone on the cross street who pushed or towed it there to move it away from the sidewalk project.

I did see a tow truck circling just before 9. Then friend and I did a puzzle and I didn't watch the security monitor. At 10...it was gone.

Now we get to look for it on our morning walk. What fun. A scavenger hunt.

Good morning Joe and Gameboomers.

Ana enjoy your Zumba and to your husband! I am trying to stuff myself into a tutu and have sprayed the bathtub with scrubbing bubbles...

Morning Sue - Thanks for the coffee but I'm still sticking with my Diet Coke!

Haroula and Venus - Hello and Happy Day to you both!

Morning Midgie - Thinking about exercise

Gerry and Manxman - Good morning and TGIF!

Gail - Good morning! It's raining here too and I like your equation.

Darlene - Happy and careful skooshing to you.

Joe - Glad to hear you've been having such good weather. Your jokes started my day off with laughter so I'm having a perfect day too!

Nan and SortaBlonde -- Have a wonderful and fun Friday!

Today I must clean. If only to be able to take off this too tight tutu! Since the day is passing me by so quickly I can successfully avoid walking again today. However, I will definitely walk tomorrow as I have the added incentive of wanting a minute-steak sandwich. I must walk to the Food Lion (over the hill and thru the wood) to pick up a pack of frozen minute steaks -- and some fresh rolls -- and some milk.

Feeling pretty good today (sleepy). Will feel much better when my house is clean and in order.

Wishing everyone a very happy start to the weekend.

Fantastic Friday ya'll

Hubby is on his way home. He is burning comp time from his trips. He is not allowed to get overtime, but he does get comp time. He never took it when he was in the military, but is good about using it now.

Cully arrived this morning about 7:45 with a badly bruised hand. It seems his hand was slammed in a door. It really looks bad and if he were mine, we'd be getting it x-rayed. But he is not complaining so it's is most likely ok.

The Per declared himself too sick to go to school today in a bid to come to dad's early. Dad said of course, he could come over but as he was too sick for school, the would need to spend the day in bed in his own room, and obviously, was way too sick for video games. Per had a rapid recovery.

Son will pick Per up after school. In the meantime, hubby and I need to drop my truck off again. The dealer replaced a tire when they had it last (maybe a week ago) and said tire is flat. Good thing I didn't want to go anywhere.

Tommorow Soot and I have a play and Sunday we have promised a zoo trip to the boys. And that's our weekend.


Careful, Ana, you saw what happened to the last cleaning fairy. to hubby!

Nan, send some rain down our way please. We are behind, again

to all

Please send the cleaning fairy to me
Hubby and I, are both trying to clean everything in the house to be ready for the
winter
The problem is that we have summer,hot weather
and sunny

Said cleaning fairy flew in this AM and conducted a cursory inspection and declared all is clean and shipshape and by-by and that is fine with me. Saturday is a good day to clean, isn't it. Awhile ago I spied a gecko in the hall and the poor dear had a bit of a dust bunny attached to his tail. Rescued , cleaned him up and placed him the morning glory garden.

Last night turned out to be a 1 cat night. 2 would have been welcome -it was cold.

No Doom yet, maybe tomorrow. Gathering bits of courage to attack the giant spider (Castlevania). Sometimes Gabriel is a dummyhead. The prob is the next biggey is Mr. Meeny.

Kits are stretched out in the sun warmwarmwarm.

Hey L4, we all have done that Per thing, sometime it worked sometime not. In high school we wrote each other's excuses.

Take care of nature, gaia

Haroula, I think we wore the poor cleaning fairy out and she went on vacation.

Yankee, I love that gecko story. I remember crying for hours once when my mom squashed a chameleon that found it's way in.

No note writing for me. My folks sincerely would have killed me.

TGIF Boomers.

Even the rain here can't ruin a weekend.

Time for the taxi to make it's run and then head to the Moose to work the fish fry!! Have a lovely afternoon and evening all.

Ana......there is hope. The sun is out here for a bit and that circle that we are both in might move on to the east soon. It goes from me to you and back to me then back to you. Makes my head spin..


Nan

I took the dogs for a couple mile run in the rain after Zumba and I have been cleaning since. I am beat. Hubby hasn't come home yet and I am afraid when he does he is going to want to go to the club to get his workout in. I'm too tired to join him but I'll do it anyways since he decided to try and get in shape.

Are we having fun yet?

Located that truck that was here and gone. It WAS the truck I remembered from my walks. It's right back where it started, but I suspect it's not running because it's at a weird angle and sticking out into the roadway. Fun stuff.

Phone poles being moved on the cross street. Should be sidewalks started in a few weeks when the new poles are all 'rewired'. Other street, the sidewalks are complete, except for one spot they are digging up to put another storm drain. Guess it was an after thought. Lots of signs stacked in preparation for the redoing of the actual street. Gonna be a mess. Road will be closed, all the residents will have to move their cars elsewhere. I'm expecting many of them in front of my house because spots nearest them are all taken by the 'usual' residents. Ugh. Ready for it all.

Ok, kids fed....all are sick....oh joy!

We have a busy weekend. Tom Sawyer tomorrow and the zoo on Sunday and son's SO and 2 kids over all weekend.

Anyone with spare peace and quiet send it my way please....that or straight jackets and gags....just kidding