To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.
~Reba McEntire~
```````````````
Q: What did the cat say when the mouse got away?
A: You've got to be kitten me!
``````
Q: Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
A: There are too many cheetahs.
``````
Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has claws at the end of its paws, while the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
``````
Q: What kind of exercise do lazy
people do?
A: Diddly-squats.
``````
The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.”
“What’s the bad news?” asks the accused.
“The bad news is, your blood
is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.”
“What’s the good news?”
“Your cholesterol is 130.”
```````
A few months ago, Hamas
“arrested” a dolphin for being an
Israeli spy. Readers of Reason
magazine came up with titles for
the film this action might inspire:
• Orcapussy
• Free Schmuelly
• Goldflipper
• The Porpoise-Driven Life
• Dolphinfidel
```````
A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
`````
```````
Q. What happened when one cannibal arrived late to the dinner party?
A. The others gave him the cold shoulder.
```````
Q. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
A. Because he just couldn't see himself doing it.
``````
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
``````
A burglar stole all the lamps in my house. I know I should be more upset, but I'm absolutely delighted.
``````
I gave my friend an elephant to put in his room.
He said, "Thanks."
I said, "Don't mention it."
```````
People always tell me I'm condescending.
(That means talking down to people.)
``````
I can't stand Russian nesting dolls. To me they seem so full of themselves.
`````
Choosing a movie? Don’t trust these extremely abbreviated plot
explanations.
• The Shining: A family’s first Airbnb experience goes very wrong. @janmpdx
• The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry. @eserunsalan
• Titanic: Everyone tries the ice-bucket challenge. @generalist
• Beauty and the Beast: Stockholm syndrome works. @DanSlott
• The Chronicles of Narnia: Kid comes out of the closet. @SueChainzz
``````
Here are real—and very literate—names of Roller Derby players:
• Grimm Scarytales
• Pain Eyre
• Pippi Longstompings
``````
I think it's pretty cool how
the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos.
``````
Good morning everyboomie.
It's
FRIDAY!!!! 
I hope it has great things in store for everyone who gets out of bed.
Not sure I'll be in that crowd.
It's still Thursday night of course and we have Beau as a guest for a couple of days.
I want to watch the Cowboy game of course, but the darn thing doesn't start until 9:00.
I don't believe I want to stay up until midnight.
I'm recording it of course.
Starcom do you get the NFL network? That's where the game is being shown.
Have a happy day everyone.
joe
acebook
witter
Hope you have a terrific Friday.
- Enjoy your Friday and have a great day Joe 
, Starcom 
,Venus 
& too all Boomers 
with the cowboy game. 
Taintedfury have a fun day! 
Coffee and tea are ready. 
tyvm hope you have a great Friday too & you as well Connie 
take care call. 
