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Jokes. #893862
06/12/13 01:59 AM
06/12/13 01:59 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
-1.My mate rang me and asked, "What're you doing at the moment?"
I said, "Probably failing my d------ t---."

-2.First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door.
Funny sense of humour my p------ has.

-3.My personal favorite has always been the one where the waiter comes up to the guy and says, "And how did you find your steak, sir?"
"I just moved my p----- and there it was!"

4.If you want to look at stars you use a telescope.
If you want to see above water from a sub you use a periscope.
When a doctor checks your heart he uses a stethoscope.
What do you use to look through walls?

-5.Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was o---------- in his field.

-6.Knock knock Who's there? Broken pencil Broken pencil who? Nevermind...it's p--------...

-7.How did Hitler tie his shoesies?
In little k-------!

-8.Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale. A: She was known as the d--- C d---.

-9.Q: What is the range of a trombone? A: About 10 yards if you've got a g--- a--.

-10.A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the b-- t----- here?"

lol

Last edited by curly; 06/12/13 11:14 AM.

If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #893865
06/12/13 02:34 AM
06/12/13 02:34 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
Haroula Offline
Adept Boomer
Haroula  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 10,027
Greece
10.bar tender lol wave
Good morning happydance

Last edited by Haroula; 06/12/13 02:34 AM.

I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #893870
06/12/13 02:54 AM
06/12/13 02:54 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Hi Haroula, good answer.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #893871
06/12/13 02:58 AM
06/12/13 02:58 AM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,440
47.79N, 122.24W
BobH Offline
Addicted Boomer
BobH  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,440
47.79N, 122.24W
1. driving test

wave


Bob
As I've grown older, I've found that my memory is not as good as I used to think it was.
Re: Jokes. [Re: BobH] #893872
06/12/13 03:06 AM
06/12/13 03:06 AM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 4,624
UK
Niki Offline
Addicted Boomer
Niki  Offline
Addicted Boomer

Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 4,624
UK
2. plumber lol


What are we? Women - What do we want? We don't know - When do we want it? Now
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #893878
06/12/13 03:59 AM
06/12/13 03:59 AM
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 9,296
Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
bermag45 Offline
BAAG Specialist
bermag45  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 9,296
Deepest darkest Norfolk, Engla...
3. Potato lol Hi Curly wave

Bernie happydance

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #893879
06/12/13 04:02 AM
06/12/13 04:02 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Thanks all.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #893889
06/12/13 05:47 AM
06/12/13 05:47 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
GBC Offline
Graduate Boomer
GBC  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,262
Massachusetts
8. deep C diva

Morning curly, kissy


Gail
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #893892
06/12/13 06:31 AM
06/12/13 06:31 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Hi Gail, good one.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #893895
06/12/13 07:10 AM
06/12/13 07:10 AM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 14,961
Ohio
michele rose Offline
Adept Boomer
michele rose  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 14,961
Ohio
5. outstanding lol

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #893898
06/12/13 07:28 AM
06/12/13 07:28 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Good one michele.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #893901
06/12/13 08:06 AM
06/12/13 08:06 AM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 17,630
The Outer Limits
Cue Offline
Graduate Boomer
Cue  Offline
Graduate Boomer

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 17,630
The Outer Limits
7. knotsies lol Morning Curly wave


Did you ever stop to think and then forget to start again?
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #893902
06/12/13 08:08 AM
06/12/13 08:08 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 28,972
Unionville
manxman Offline
Sonic Boomer
manxman  Offline
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 28,972
Unionville
6. pointless wave


Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don't know your direction doesn't mean you don't have one.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #893907
06/12/13 08:32 AM
06/12/13 08:32 AM
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
niteowl07 Offline
BAAG Specialist
niteowl07  Offline
BAAG Specialist

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 9,029
the dusty desert
9-good arm lol

Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #893909
06/12/13 08:43 AM
06/12/13 08:43 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
Good ones. Good morning.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #893928
06/12/13 10:09 AM
06/12/13 10:09 AM
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,701
Virginia
Jema Offline
Adept Boomer
Jema  Offline
Adept Boomer

Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13,701
Virginia
Good Morning, curly cat

4. windows?


Wouldn't that jar your mustard!
Re: Jokes. [Re: curly] #893940
06/12/13 11:14 AM
06/12/13 11:14 AM
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
curly Offline OP
Sonic Boomer
curly  Offline OP
Sonic Boomer

Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 46,893
Ottawa Ontario CANADA
You're too smart Jema.


If you can't dance, don't blame the dance floor.
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