What I have learned about the world from HOG games

Posted by: Reenie

What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/12/13 07:59 PM

1. Whenever you encounter an electrical box, you should expect the fuses to be blown.
2. The items you will find useful include turkey wishbones, wet handkerchiefs, pitchforks, clay, playing cards, angel statues, thermometers, a stuffed goose, hockey sticks, chain saws and pizza cutters.
3. If you find a lock, not only will its key be missing, but the lock itself will be rusty and you will need to oil it before you can insert the key.
4. Bird baths, sinks and buckets always need to be caulked before you can use them.
5. If you arrive at a door or find an intriguing chest, it is certain to be locked. You will have to obtain the key by growing some flowers and catching the bees that come to them and then using the bees to make honey so you can glue together the broom bristles you found and carve a key from them with a knife you make from a paint brush, bubble gum and a broken piece of glass.
6. If you find a fire burning already, you immediately will have to put it out. If you find a cold fire, the reverse will be true.
7. A library will always include books out of order that must be sorted.
8. In every scene you search for clues, you will find an umbrella and a shovel. It doesn't matter what the climate is or where you are exploring. There will also be a baseball glove and bat, a boomerang and a Union Jack, even if the game takes place in Russia or Egypt.
9. All paintings will have flaws or mistakes in them and you will have the skill to restore them.
10. It is important to retain any loose change you find because you are certain to encounter a piggy bank, vending machine or ticket booth.
11. It is OK to break all the ceramic pots you find because valuable stuff is hidden inside them.
12. There always will be crows around.
13. If you find yourself in a kitchen, you will have to make bread, which means grinding the flour, feeding chickens to get their eggs, milking a cow, and repairing a gas oven.
14. Every quest will require using a crowbar.
15. You will want to be on the lookout for sheet music, as it is inevitable that a piano will be encountered and you will have to have sheet music and know how to play it.
16. If you need to post a letter, do not go to any building labeled “Post Office” to do this, you silly thing. You will find your stamps in a locked chest (see #5 above) buried in the hay at the back of the stables or hidden in the tool box in the cab of a ski lift gondola.
17. Many people still use Roman Numerals routinely, even in Asian countries.
18. Almost any room will contain a wall that you will need to break through at some point.
19. At least once in every investigation, you will need to use a screwdriver, a sledge hammer, a welding torch, a coil of rope, candles, a fishing pole, a forge, a windup toy, bolt cutters and a feather duster.
20. If you find a key, it will not be the right one for the lock you already encountered.
21. Precious gems are readily to be found in all linen drawers, freezers, buckets of sand and bird's nests.
22. Regardless of the period in history, every workshop, garage or playroom will be filled with a jumble of stuffed animals, trophies, machine tools, Victorian clothing, musical instruments, pastries and skis.
23. No matter how massive and heavy any crypt lid may be, you will be able to move it by yourself with a crowbar or a long stick.
24. Any fountain, generator, machine, elevator or conveyor belt you encounter will need to be repaired before it can be used. Any bridge you come to must be rebuilt, meaning you first have to find wood, nails and a hammer.
25. You can easily break into any museum, police station, archives or movie theater and no one will stop you.
26. At some point, you'll need a compass that you will make from a milk carton and knitting needles.
27. No wheeled vehicle will be operable when you encounter it. You first will have to find keys, a charged battery, petrol, and sometimes the wheels.
28. You are almost certain to encounter runes when exploring.
29. All stained glass windows you find will be broken and you will spend most of your time rounding up the pieces.
30. Fireplaces are not just for fires; most conceal doorways leading to hidden rooms.
31. Wherever you go, you always will have to find and repair a gramophone or a movie projector – or both -- and find something to play on it.
32. If it turns out you need to use a boat, you first will have to repair its hull, find all the missing parts of its engine, and make fuel for it from pumpkins, mascara, and scrap cardboard.
33. Most of the creatures you will meet will be puppets. In fact, there are more puppets in the world than almost any other sort of mobile character except threatening dogs. All puppets need missing body parts, batteries, their lost musical instruments and diverse costume bits before they will be of help to you.
34. There will always be bushes to be pruned or vines to be cut down or seeds to be planted.
35. It is usually either raining or dark.
36. Brush up on your paint-mixing skills, your wood-carving talents, and your bomb-making protocol because you will need to employ each at least once.
Posted by: Cathy1

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/12/13 08:11 PM

Wow
We must of been playing the same games. LOL.
Posted by: Sparkle

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/12/13 08:18 PM

Ha! Ha! So true. rotfl
Posted by: Marian

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/12/13 10:17 PM

Great list. grin

I would add one more: your mother, father, brother, sister, grandfather, grandmother, son, daughter, roommate, wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, or friend has gone missing and you will have to find them. smile
Posted by: Mad

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/12/13 11:03 PM

And if whoever supplies the swirls of black smoke has been charging for them they must be a millionaire by now !! laugh

Great list, Reenie lol
Posted by: GuybrushThreepwood

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/12/13 11:51 PM

37 Mirrors, after you find all the missing shards and glue them back together, are always door ways to another world. And even though the mirror was broken when you found it, no one will come around to break it again thus trapping you in the new world.
Posted by: Reenie

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/13/13 01:31 AM

Oh, Marian, how could I have forgotten the "Missing Person" factor?! LOL
Posted by: Tally Ho

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/13/13 07:46 AM

Gimme back my crowbar! I used it to pry off some boards. Did I just leave it there? How am I supposed to move that big rock if I can't find the crowbar I worked so hard to find.

And I must have collected a thousand horseshoes by now; but have I actually used one for anything? I'll trade you a dozen horseshoes to get my crowbar back.
lol
Posted by: GBC

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/13/13 08:51 AM

rotfl
Posted by: Reenie

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/13/13 01:47 PM

So true, Tally! We should be able to KEEP any crowbar, screwdriver, rope or pizza cutter we find! lol
Posted by: Marian

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/13/13 02:30 PM

In a game called Dark Mysteries: The Soul Keeper, you see a crowbar on a railing and go to pick it up, and it drops into the ocean. The character says something like, "How am I going to survive without a crowbar? It's going to be a very long day."

I loved that. lol
Posted by: Reenie

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/13/13 02:40 PM

That's hilarious! I love when the games take a jab at themselves. I saw something similar in a recent game, where a character encountered a door, tried the handle, and said, "Oh course, it is locked." lol
Posted by: lakecat

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/13/13 09:39 PM

When you come across half of a tool, you cannot pick it up or move it until you find the other half and attach it,scissors, hedge clippers, saw with no handle, axe with no handle, etc.
Flashlights with no batteries, lamps with no fuel, electric lights with no bulbs and wires that are cut.
Elevators with missing buttons.
No tool is reusable,crowbars, screwdrivers, knives.
All ladders are missing rungs and must be repaired.

My two cents... lol
Posted by: Marian

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/13/13 10:45 PM

It's tough out there, isn't it, Pam? grin
Posted by: lakecat

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/14/13 01:10 PM

Never too tough for us smart an savvy casual gamers - bring it on! sherlock
Posted by: bermag45

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/16/13 10:21 AM

Best laugh I've had for ages Reenie, thanks thumbsup wave

Bernie happydance
Posted by: Reenie

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/16/13 01:34 PM

Bernie, I forgot so many other things, as you can see from the previous Comments. LOL I'm playing an HOG now (and it is dark and raining), and I have had to forge metal, repair a fountain, make a crossbow from found materials, put out a house fire using only a rug, chop wood (after making my own axe), repair a bathtub, make jewelry, create a slide for a projector, break mirrors and crash through doors wielding a fire extinguisher, solve yet another Roman Numeral puzzle, assemble those two parts of shears already mentioned, grind coffee, and restart a boiler. LOL

Oh, and the usual umbrellas, snails, scissors, goggles, teddy bears, mushrooms, thermometers, model airplanes, feathers, butterflies, cameras and old-fashioned typewriters proliferate every HOG scene. So funny!
Posted by: Marian

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/16/13 01:37 PM

Reenie, your list was very creative and well-written. Great stuff! bravo
Posted by: Susie07

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/16/13 02:17 PM

Hi, Reenie!

Do the baddies have red eyes grin ? I really got a kick out of your list, and it's obvious that you put a lot of time and effort into it.

Susan
Posted by: GuybrushThreepwood

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/16/13 04:40 PM

Is there a game that doesn't have the slide a paper of some kind under the door to catch they key when you slide something into the lock to knock the key lose? I'd like to see that puzzle retired.
Posted by: Reenie

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/16/13 05:00 PM

Yep. That one was in the game I finished recently. LOL
Posted by: thracia

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/17/13 08:14 PM

Reenie,very funny list, and very true. I always wondered why you couldn't dig thru dirt piles with your hands. You must always find a shovel.... and the locks are never ordinary, you must always find some oddly shaped item to unlock them.... and who spends all their time breaking and hiding these things when they should be busy taking over the world?

thracia
Posted by: margob

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/26/13 08:12 AM

Reenie,and everyone else, this was so funny thumbsup

about the crows, have you noticed that their crowing sounds absolutely the same at every game? they must be the same crows smile I even encountered them in the "walking dead" game, so they must be moving on...

margo
Posted by: Reenie

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/26/13 11:51 AM

Yep. No matter what game it is, the crows seem to be the same sound file. But then, maybe what sounds like canned crow "speech" to us is just a popular slang in the crow universe. lol
Posted by: Sherlock

Re: What I have learned about the world from HOG games - 09/27/13 08:04 PM

Please don't forget about the windmills. A piece here and a piece there. When you finally put them together you'll be able to grind something or pump something. lol