Putting on my Big Girl Pants

When am I going to learn to not be so nice?

Tenant's son who moved away a year ago to be with his 'girlfriend' has been back here 38 days now after a fight with her over him not finding a job in almost a year. He had lived here with his parents for 25 years as my neighbor (15 of those as my tenant after I bought the property).

So when he moved out at the end of last October, to be nice and help him qualify for a rental in his new city, I signed a paper taking him off the rental agreement and left his parents on it. I figured he might return some day (never know about those girlfriends) so I never changed the original rental agreement to drop him permanently. I thought it would make it easier if he returned and his Mom said he might be back in 6 months when his girlfriend could transfer her job down here. I believed them all.

So after the 38 days now, and him saying he wasn't really looking for a job, didn't know how long he was staying, etc., I thought it would be time to add him back on the rental agreement (a simple signature rescinding the original amendment).

As I should have known, he balked at signing the paper to rescind. Started saying how he had just talked to girlfriend and 'might' be going back soon. I stood firm and advised him about my 'Landlord Insurance' and how it doesn't cover him as a 'guest' as well as it does as a Tenant and it would be to his and my advantage to sign.

Now I wait. I've got that icky feeling that he will refuse to be back on the rental agreement and/or I will have a pack of family up here soon yelling at me the way they did when I dared mention that the 'other son' was staying well over a visitor's agreement. He had been here 2 months before I said anything. My agreement states only 1 week before I take action and I've never complained except that one time about long long visits from relatives.

I get the feeling they think a 'relative' is not a 'visitor'. Poor me. I've been overly nice and now I'm not sure this can be easily fixed. To date this year there has been a visitor there 98 days! Sometimes it's only one, but usually it's 2-5 extra people staying up to 2 weeks each time and sometimes a month.

Best case scenario, he signs the paper, brings it up and all is well. Worst case, he refuses and then I have to put on my 'Landlord's Hat' and lay down the law as stated in the agreement they all signed. This will force me to make him leave or pay a daily fee for staying over 1 week. I think 38 days is a bit more than one week.

I don't want an all out yelling match. I'm ready for the 'attack' if it comes, unlike last time when I was totally caught off guard for the angry tirades from 2 of the men of the family.

So wish me luck. I've started the first round and I'm crossing my fingers for a signature and praying it all goes smoothly.

I think being an absentee landlord is better for your health. That way what you don't see, doesn't stress you.

Good luck!

Ana

I hope it all goes smoothly too, but after being "Ms. Nice Girl" you've done all that you can. Yup, time to put on your Big Girl Panties and do what needs to be one... gotta protect yourself first. People can only take advantage of you if you let them; nice guys finish last; and I'm sure there another old piece of sage advice in there somewhere!

Oh Ana, I'd love to be absent. How great that would be, but then I'd probably worry about the 'manager' and what he was doing.

Thanks for the 'sage' advice Drac. I know what I should do business wise, but then my nice side kicks in and I start thinking about how I would like to be treated. Then again, I didn't take advantage of any of my Landlords. Just didn't think it was right and besides, THEY were not as nice as me and I knew not to hassle them. Ha.

Gonna wait and wait and hope I get that paper back signed. Still no yelling yet so that's a good sign unless they are 'calling in the troops' and asking all their family members to weigh in on the matter.

Worst thing would be they move. Then I'd lose some very quiet, non impact people and have to rehab the place, lose money for a few months, and risk getting some really awful renters.

I'd rather they just comply with the agreement and be NICE to me.

Hope all goes well Sorta. I totally get what you are going through as we rent a room out. Used to rent rooms in the main house but not anymore. Be crossing my fingers for you!!

If it comes to putting on your manager hat, just wave the paper they signed in their face and explain they entered into a valid contract which you plan to uphold. They can sputter and spurt all they want, but a valid contract is a valid contract. One that can be upheld in court, if they don't move first. And one, if you decided to let the courts handle it, could be used to get back pay from all the extra visitors over stay.

It's okay to be nice, even during business. But sometimes nice has to take a back seat when contracts aren't honored.

Good advice from everyone. I just need to separate my long time 'neighbor' mentality from my Landlord responsibilities and tell myself this is a business not a charity. Sigh.

24 hours now and no sign of the paper I left with them. The guy is however, trimming all the trees that are hanging over the roof as I asked. Insurance is coming for it's routine inspection to make sure all is safe and sound. All looks good, so at least that's not a factor.

Just wish I didn't have to spend MY money on THEIR visitors. Water bill went up 50 bucks last go round. I know it wasn't me or my other tenant, just tons of stayover's using all that extra water. It figured out to 60 gallons a day EXTRA for 60 days!

Somehow I can't get through to them that it's costing me to have their family members using this as a motel during the summer. Gah. Wish the solution was easy.

Hand them the bill...

My current plan is to wait a day and see if I get that signed agreement from the son. If I don't, I will copy their rental agreement, highlight the section about visitors of no more than one week and my choice thereafter of charging a daily fee, or insisting the 'guest' leave immediately. I'm sure they know all this but they just don't pay any attention because I really believe they think 'guest/visitor' does not mean 'family members'. I might have to rewrite the entire agreement and make it much clearer. I can do that IF the son refuses to sign my simple little paper. Yup. Opening a can of worms if he doesn't. I hope they like worms.

UPDATE: The guy just came up with the SIGNED agreement adding him back on the original rental agreement! He was all apologetic and said he 'made a mistake' because he was trimming back some trees (as requested) and should have given me the paper before he did that (for insurance). Yup, the insurance angle worked. Whew. Landlord's Policy covers Tenants nicely, but 'guests' not as much in case of injury.

Wheeee! Now on to my next crisis.

Sorta, do you by any chance give out popcorn and a drink with this movie? A person's got to have something with these multi-reelers.

Stop by anytime Homer, drinks and lots of snacks on me. I'm just thrilled things are status quo for now with all the nail biting I did. Silly people. I need my paperwork to keep my sanity. Oh, wait, did I ever have my sanity?

I believe there might have been question about that.

Being an absent landlord isn't always a positive position. We put our rental properties in the hands of a Property Management company and payed for things being done to the property that wasn't done. It ended up costing us. If anyone in my area is thinking about using a P M company on 1960 write me first. lol
Terri

Terri,I'm a total control freak. I don't know if I could ever turn over management of my property to anyone. I love being in charge, making the rules, deciding what needs doing and when. Only problem is I agonize over every little thing. Luckily I live in the house that fronts the street, and my two rental houses are down behind me. Works out well since I can see who is coming and going. Oh how I love being 'Lord of the Land', except when I have problems and think about just booting everyone and leaving the houses empty forever.

Sorta, you know you couldn't do that. You'd lose information for you biography.

Yeah Homer, someday I will put it all in my autobiography. I think it will be pure fiction, but then so is my life.

Many of us only live in fictional worlds.