Posted By: gymcandy1
Wednesday's Song - 10/10/12 12:43 AM
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
Farmers' Almanac, 1978
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy to go out and ask his wife what was for supper.
Well, his missus was quite irritated about him sitting in the air conditioned house all day while she did all the work, so she scolded him. "I can't believe you're asking me about supper right now! Imagine I'm out of town, go inside and figure dinner out yourself."
So he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, with potatoes, garlic bread and tall glass of iced tea.
The wife finally walked in about the time he was finishing up and asked him, "You fixed something to eat? So where is mine?"
"Huh? I thought you were out of town."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence at night.
The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred... "I'll die for you!"
The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and asked, "How many times?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
The town lush drunkenly stumbles into a banquet hall when an insurance convention is taking place, ready to pick a fight. He shouts, "All insurance agents are thieves, and if you, (hiccup, got a problem with it ya ought to do something about it."
Instantly, a large man walks up to the lush, points a finger at him and says, "You take that back!"
The lush looks him in the eye and says, "Why, are you, (hiccup), some kind of agent?"
"Absolutely not” the man replies, "I'm a thief."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In my husband's work for a cable-television company, he encounters illegal hookups that drive up costs for other customers. One day he arrived at a repair job just as the homeowner was pulling into the driveway. She pointed the way to the den, where the TV was located, and then walked out to get the mail.
As my husband approached the TV, he saw a note taped to the screen. It read: "Don't forget to hide the descramblers before the cable guy comes. Love, Tom."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, incognizant user called the system maker's technical support line for assistance...
Technician: Hello. How can I help you today?
Customer: There's smoke coming from the power supply on my computer...
Technician: Looks like you need a new power supply...
Customer: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files...
Technician: Sir, what you described is a faulty power supply. You need to replace it...
Customer: No way! Someone told me that I just had to change the system startup files to fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the right command...
For the next ten minutes, in spite of the technician's efforts to explain the problem and its solution, the customer adamantly insisted that he was right. So, in frustration, the technician responded...
Technician: I'm sorry. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there's an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem...
Customer: I knew it!
Technician: Just add the line 'LOAD NOSMOKE.EXE' at the end of the CONFIG.SYS file and everything should work fine. Let me know how it goes...
About ten minutes later, the technician received a call back from the customer...
Customer: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking...
Technician: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
Customer: MS-DOS 6.22...
Technician: Well, that's your problem. That version of DOS doesn't include NOSMOKE. You'll need to contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch. Let me know how it all works out...
When nearly an hour had passed, the phone rang again...
Customer: I need a new power supply...
Technician: How did you come to that conclusion?
Customer: Well, I called Microsoft and told the technician what you said, and he started asking me questions about the make of the power supply...
Technician: What did he tell you?
Customer: He said my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
There's a big bright sunny day coming your way.
If that's not what you get, don't worry, it's probably not your big, bright, sunny day.......................today
I just meant that sometime this year there is a big bright sunny day coming your way, and you know who to complain to if it doesn't come.
{{HOWEVER}}
If there is sunshine in your heart, you won't need it outside. Your inner glow will provide sunshine, and warmth for others, on a cloudy day.
No I was not thinking of the song "My Girl".
I am now though.
I hope you all have a happy day.
joe
I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day.
Farmers' Almanac, 1978
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy to go out and ask his wife what was for supper.
Well, his missus was quite irritated about him sitting in the air conditioned house all day while she did all the work, so she scolded him. "I can't believe you're asking me about supper right now! Imagine I'm out of town, go inside and figure dinner out yourself."
So he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, with potatoes, garlic bread and tall glass of iced tea.
The wife finally walked in about the time he was finishing up and asked him, "You fixed something to eat? So where is mine?"
"Huh? I thought you were out of town."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence at night.
The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred... "I'll die for you!"
The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and asked, "How many times?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
The town lush drunkenly stumbles into a banquet hall when an insurance convention is taking place, ready to pick a fight. He shouts, "All insurance agents are thieves, and if you, (hiccup, got a problem with it ya ought to do something about it."
Instantly, a large man walks up to the lush, points a finger at him and says, "You take that back!"
The lush looks him in the eye and says, "Why, are you, (hiccup), some kind of agent?"
"Absolutely not” the man replies, "I'm a thief."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In my husband's work for a cable-television company, he encounters illegal hookups that drive up costs for other customers. One day he arrived at a repair job just as the homeowner was pulling into the driveway. She pointed the way to the den, where the TV was located, and then walked out to get the mail.
As my husband approached the TV, he saw a note taped to the screen. It read: "Don't forget to hide the descramblers before the cable guy comes. Love, Tom."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, incognizant user called the system maker's technical support line for assistance...
Technician: Hello. How can I help you today?
Customer: There's smoke coming from the power supply on my computer...
Technician: Looks like you need a new power supply...
Customer: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files...
Technician: Sir, what you described is a faulty power supply. You need to replace it...
Customer: No way! Someone told me that I just had to change the system startup files to fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the right command...
For the next ten minutes, in spite of the technician's efforts to explain the problem and its solution, the customer adamantly insisted that he was right. So, in frustration, the technician responded...
Technician: I'm sorry. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there's an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem...
Customer: I knew it!
Technician: Just add the line 'LOAD NOSMOKE.EXE' at the end of the CONFIG.SYS file and everything should work fine. Let me know how it goes...
About ten minutes later, the technician received a call back from the customer...
Customer: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking...
Technician: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
Customer: MS-DOS 6.22...
Technician: Well, that's your problem. That version of DOS doesn't include NOSMOKE. You'll need to contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch. Let me know how it all works out...
When nearly an hour had passed, the phone rang again...
Customer: I need a new power supply...
Technician: How did you come to that conclusion?
Customer: Well, I called Microsoft and told the technician what you said, and he started asking me questions about the make of the power supply...
Technician: What did he tell you?
Customer: He said my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Good morning everyboomie.
There's a big bright sunny day coming your way.
If that's not what you get, don't worry, it's probably not your big, bright, sunny day.......................today
I just meant that sometime this year there is a big bright sunny day coming your way, and you know who to complain to if it doesn't come.
{{HOWEVER}}
If there is sunshine in your heart, you won't need it outside. Your inner glow will provide sunshine, and warmth for others, on a cloudy day.
No I was not thinking of the song "My Girl".
I am now though.
I hope you all have a happy day.
joe
I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day.
Yes, it is bright and sunshiney here. It is warmer too. Opened my windows but a little cool so will have to close them again.
How are you feeling? 
for the laughs Joe. 
and we will be praying for you.