Mundai Dinah

Posted by: gymcandy1

Mundai Dinah - 11/18/12 10:04 PM

"No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman."
Honoré de Balzac

Stock Market Investment tips for 2013

Get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2013.

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R.Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly Warner Cracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and issue forth as: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will
become: Knott NOW! (OMG that's funny!)

Why do morons like lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.

Why did it take the moron an hour to eat breakfast?
Because the orange juice carton instructions said Concentrate ! !

What do you do if a moron throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back at him.

How did the moron fall on the floor?
He tripped over the cordless phone.

How did the moron try to kill a bird?
He threw it off a mountain cliff !

Why did the moron climb the glass wall ?
To see what was on the other side!

How do you confuse a moron?
Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in one corner!

Hear about the moron that got an AM radio?
It took him a month to realize he could play it at night.

Why did the moron going to the airport turn around and go home?
Because he saw the sign that said "Airport Left".

Two morons were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.
The first moron said "These look like deer tracks,"
and the other moron said, "No, they look like moose tracks."
They argued and argued, and they were still arguing when the train hit them.

Why can't a moron dial 911?
He can't find the 11 on the phone!

How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????..)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???.....)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

I rest my case.

An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Italian anisette sprinkle cookies wafting up the stairs. Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Where if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite anisette sprinkled cookies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Italian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.

The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife....."Back off!" she said, they're for the funeral."

But I'm dieing to have one.

An Irishman is really, really drunk, so the bar keeper walks up to him and says:
"Right, you've had enough, go home..."
So the irishman gets up off his stool and falls flat on his face, so he says:
"Ok, ai'll crawl outside instead, to sober up a bit more"
He gets outside, and falls flat on his face, so instead he crawls the four streets to his home. when he gets home he opens the door, standing, and yet again falls flat on his face. so he crawls upstairs into his room, stands up and falls flat on his bed and falls fast asleep straight away.
The following morning his wife wakes him up and says, 'You've been drinking again haven't you?'
The Irishman replies, 'What makes you say that?'
His wife replies, 'Well the pub just called, you've left your wheelchair there again!'

Good morning everyboomie. wave

Ouch my sides are aching.

It's not funny either.

But the jokes are.... lol

Ouch...ha ha....ouch

Who's up for breakfast?

Who's......up?? razz

Who' the diner???

Who's.....................................who? duh

Who are you?
Who who, who who
I really wanna know!

I'm in a silly mood. (like that's never happened before) snicker

I hope you'll all have a MaGnificent Monday.

Hey!! You know what I bought yesterday?

I bought a MAGlite.

MaG I did not know you were in the flashlight business. think

I always thought you were pretty bright though. idea wink

Have a happy day everyboomie.

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/18/12 10:59 PM

Enjoy your day off Joe. I hope it's full of everything good. hearts

Hope to have a dog run sometime today and I have dance at night. yay

I hope you all have a great day too!

Ana wave
Posted by: niteowl07

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/18/12 11:33 PM

joe , really good jokes. hope you have a wonderful day !

ana , hope your run goes well , and have fun at dance !

to everyone else , wonderful day to you ! feel free to grab a chocolate croissant to go with joe's coffee !
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 02:03 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana,Niteowi07 and all wave
Have all a happy day fall
Posted by: Drmojo

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 03:57 AM

Morning Boom Boom Buddies fall

Hi ya Joe Thanks for the great openers lol

Howdy Ana I LOVE the pic of your Latte dogs
on Facebook puppy too cute snicker

Hi Nightowl07 hope you have a nice day~

Hi ya Haroula enjoy your morning

everybody else who comes in I wish you
a super day~Karen angel
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 04:48 AM

Good morning all waveSlept late rahSo I'm rushing this morning got to get gr.daughter up for school,then it's off to the gym.Coffee is on have a great day everyone fall
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 05:27 AM

penguin Good Morning Joe, Ana, niteowl, Haroula, Karen, and Cailyn. Joe enjoy your day off. wave Ana sounds like a nice Monday for you. happydance Niteowl thanks for the chocolate croissant! Yummy! yes Haroula hope you have a sunny day. smile Karen how are you doing? Hope you have a happy day too. catrub Cailyn enjoy your workout! rah A Great Day wished for all! penguin
Posted by: connie

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 05:53 AM

Good morning everyone. Hubby just left to take Robert to the airport for his California trip. Please send positive vibes for a safe trip. He will be coming home again on Friday. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Monday. Danish, French Toast, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. penguin
Posted by: venus

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 05:58 AM

Hello and goodbye. wave fall
Posted by: GBC

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 06:37 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, hope your day is full of laughs!

Ana, enjoy your run and your dance.

Niteowl, good morning.

haroula, have a good day!

Karen, glad you're feeling better. talk to you later.

Cailyn, I slept over also. Need coffee please!

Gerry. have a great day!

Connie, good traveling vibes out to Robert for a safe trip.

Venus, good day to you.

Midgie, how did the move go? This has got to be a busy day for you.

To all who come in I'm wishing a wonderful start to the week.
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 09:58 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! It's a short work week and I'm lovin' that! Happy Mundai Dinah tooooooo yooooouuuu!!!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: SharonB

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 11:24 AM

Good morning Joe and all Gameboomers! wave

I'm drooling over (the thought of) chocolate croissants and bacon sandwiches... tomato

L4L I hope you and Soot are feeling better.

Ana - Have a good time with your running and dancing.. That sounds like so much fun. broccoli

NiteOwl07 -- Did you have to mention chocolate croissants?? I'm walking past the Dunkin Donuts today... lol

Good morning Haroula!

You have a super day too Karen. smile

Sue - Hope your day gets less rushed.

Good morning Gerry.

Connie - Hope you have a great day and I'm vibrating in your husband's general direction. smile

Good morning Venus, Gail and Darlene! wave

Have to walk to the drug store today. I've been going over my receipts, etc and think they made a mistake in the quantity of a medication they gave me. I'm going to go discuss it with them.

Good excuse for a walk, isn't it? laugh

Wishing all Gameboomers a happy productive day.

Posted by: Gimli

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 11:32 AM

Hi and bye today wave

Busy day and now it's cooking-supper-for-hubby-time and then I'am going to bed early. My head is reporting: seems there will be snow tomorrow... thumbsdown

I wish you all a happy and noiseless day and..

Connie: I'am praying that everything is going well with Robert's trip.

wave kissy Evelyne
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 02:19 PM

Magnificent Monday ya'll wave

Hubby got up and went to work and then to the doc and then home to try to heal before we embark on a 12+ hour car trip.

Posted by: Yankee Clipper

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 03:05 PM

Wow what a lovely day -lets hope it's warm the rest of the week because of Thanksgiving. I won't be at home for 4 days and am still concerned about my pets -3 cats, 1 doggy. I never go anywhere so they always expect me at home. The neighbor who will be feeding them is most conscienshus, reliable and I've given him notes so all should be OK. But still.

I've started playing Black Ops 2 and it's a good shooter but not as good as Killzone 2. It's probably a keeper. Also playing Devil May Cry 1 -Dante can really hop skip and jump.

Remember those 18 tomato plants I started? well 9 survived. The seeds in the polystyrene cups all survived but the ones in the plastic party cups died. Something to consider.

Aufwiedersehn for today all
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 04:06 PM

Good afternoon Boomers wave
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 04:56 PM

Happy Day all. It has been one of those things right after the other all day today. I just now have a moment to sit so thought I would say HI and wish everybody a wonderful day!!

Connie keeping Robert in my thoughts and prayers.

Yankee I know just what you mean about the neighbor and leaving. lol They will be OK!

Ana any new project yet??

Evelyne prayers that the head will be fine in the morning! HUGS!

I am off in just a bit to BINGO!!

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 06:34 PM

Oh my! I really thought I was here this morning but I guess I only thought it. oops I am getting ready to head over to the club shortly to dance. Tomorrow night is our big night at a nightclub again so I need the practice. lol

The dogs had a long 3 mile hike and swim today. It was 60 degrees so we took advantage of the lovely weather and stayed out.

be back
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 08:30 PM

Everyone is nice and full.

The dogs were a challenge. Sky, who thinks everything everywhere should go down to his tummy as quickly as possible, is such a baby when it's heartworm pill time. The other three just eat theirs, but even with p'nut butter, cheese, or other yummies...Sky licks off all the goodies and spits the pill on the floor. Silly dog. puppy

Time to take a deep breath and relax a bit. wave
Posted by: my10rugrats

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 08:45 PM

got 2 of them that way here L4L. neither one will take their pills in anything any more. so i have to mash them up and mix with a little bit of can dog food.
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 11:06 PM

My, you are much nicer than I rotfl

We are off to bed. Sleep well all sleep
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/19/12 11:06 PM

L4l Sassy has been good at taking hers. Just a little liver sausage and down it goes! lol Good luck!

Ana glad it was so nice and you and the dogs had a fun run with a swim!! Hope class was fun and the practice helped.

My10 how ya doing?? Hope the pups will start taking the meds good soonest!

Midge hope the move went smoothly!!!

I'm off to take Sassy for a walk and then find my pillow. Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams.

Posted by: niteowl07

Re: Mundai Dinah - 11/20/12 01:25 AM

night ! sleep well ,everyone ! sleep catrub