Posted by: gymcandy1

Toosday's - 11/19/12 07:49 PM

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Robert X. Cringely, InfoWorld magazine


1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theater - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19.. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick

Airport Security Suggestion....

An engineer (ex-NASA project director) has what I think is
the near perfect solution for airport security!

*Here's a solution to all the controversy over full-body
scanners at the airports. Have a booth that you can step into
that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device
you may have on you.*

*It would be a win-win for everyone, and there would be none of this
talk about racial profiling and this method would eliminate a long
and expensive trial. Justice would be quick and swift..*

*Case Closed!*

Peter Marshall: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Peter Marshall: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?
Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing strawberries!

Peter Marshall: According to a recent article in the Miami Herald, at age 78, is Groucho Marx still interested in sex?
Charley Weaver: Yes, but he's forgotten the secret word.

Peter Marshall: Charley, an 87-year-old doctor named Quick invented something that's named for him. What is it?
Charley Weaver: 87 years old? I'd say the quickie!

Peter Marshall: Charley, true or false: every time you sneeze, your heart stops.
Charley Weaver: Out to the home, there's a few people that, whenever they sneeze, their hearts stop!

Peter Marshall: According to Billy Graham, can you get anything you've always wanted in Heaven, if you didn't get it on Earth?
Charley Weaver: Yes, but there's an extra charge for the whitewalls.

Peter Marshall: Is there a weight limit for bags on airline flights in this country?
Charley Weaver: If she can fit under the seat, she can fly.

Peter Marshall: According to Today's Health, what do most dentists say you should do with your dentures before going to bed?
Charley Weaver: Out to the home, we throw them all into the center of the room and have a swap party...

Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!

Peter Marshall: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?
Charley Weaver: A divorcee.

Peter Marshall: Charles, how many balls would you expect to find on a billiard table?
Charley Weaver: How many guys are playing? (Weaver and audience laughing) Now you're doing it, that's more like it.

Peter Marshall: What famous story begins with the discovery of magic beans?
Charley Weaver: Inherit the Wind.

Peter Marshall: True or false -- when the swallows return to Capistrano, they are probably coming from Argentina.
Charley Weaver: That's true, and not only did they ruin my car, they blew up my trailer!

Peter Marshall: Does Pat Nixon think her husband is fun?
Charley Weaver: Yes, she says he's full of it.

Peter Marshall: Do rosey cheeks always mean good health?
Charley Weaver: Not if you're sitting on a radiator!

Peter Marshall: In a recent TV Guide interview, Paul Lynde said that he has been cursed with something all his life. What?
Charley Weaver: Four letter words! (correct answer: shyness)

Peter Marshall: Was there anything going on between Christopher Columbus and Queen Isabella?
Charley Weaver: Yes, and Columbus later found out that the world was round and she was flat!

Peter Marshall: Shakespeare wrote 154 of them. What are they?
Charley Weaver: Checks to Rose Marie for services rendered.

Peter Marshall: What makes water hard?
Charley Weaver: Winter.

Peter Marshall: You are a senior citizen and during the night while you are asleep, your heart beats 50 times per minute. Is there something wrong with you?
Charley Weaver: Well, let's put it this way. Could you ask me Friday's questions today?

Peter Marshall: True or false -- rumors circulate in business offices more than any place else.
Charley Weaver: That's false, Peter, and we're certainly going to miss you around here!

Peter Marshall: True or false -- drinking can make you hard of hearing.
Charley Weaver: What?

Peter Marshall: Is it possible for you to make a dog laugh?
Charley Weaver: Well, I tried to housebreak a dog once and he just laughed and laughed.

Good morning everyboomie. wave

My day off was a blur. It was so short I don't even dismember what I did. headscratch

I suppose I had fun. I think there was a little dog running circles around me. puppy

Maybe I was too dizzy to remember anything. crazy

Oh yeah. I know that I didn't find any points at the creek.

I think on my next vacation I'll go to the Little Big Horn and head hunt.

The points I find though are anywhere from 500 to 5000 years old, so I doubt I'll find any there. duh

Mom always talks about finding arrowheads around here when her and her siblings were kids, and they would just throw them at each other and forget about them. shocked

I asked her where they threw them and I go try and find them. She says, "Oh no. They wouldn't still be there after all this time."

I'm thinking wait a minute! They layed around out there for 500 years or more, but she thinks they got washed away since she threw them down 75 years ago? slapforehead

I think not.... shame

Now I have two more early early work days to get through before having a nutter day off.

That means getting up at 3:30 so I think I'd better get this tired old body to bed.

Have a happy day everyone.


Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Toosday's - 11/19/12 10:47 PM

Joe, I remember finding arrowheads all the time at Starved Rock when we were kids and I don't have a clue what happened to them. duh I am glad you spent the day with a happy puppy though! I hope work goes well for you.

I am back in the corner again but I have to go shopping for my turkey today and then out for dinner, drinks and dancing with Sam and a few friends for the evening. woot

Have a great day everyone!
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 01:58 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana and all who come in later wave
Have all a nice day flowers
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 02:53 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana,Haroula,and all who follow me in waveJoe hope the next 2 days fly by for you,Ana sounds like you'll be having some fun tonight!Haroula a nice day wished for you and all boomers.I'll put the coffee on and keep it hot turkey
Posted by: GBC

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 06:03 AM

good Morning Boomers

Joe, wishing you a swift two days of work.

Ana, hope your morning runs smoothly in the corner. Have fun tonight!

Cailyn, I'm ready for a nice hot cup of coffee.

Haroula, good day to you.

Not sure what's on the agenda for the day. Wishing everyone a wonderful day!
Posted by: venus

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 06:09 AM

Hello and goodbye. wave fall
Posted by: connie

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 07:06 AM

Good morning everyone. I need to finish decorating the inside today. The boys should be home in time for Thanksgiving if all goes well. Scott is having trouble with his truck. Hopefully he can get it fixed today. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderfull Tuesday. Danish and French Toast in the NC. eatfish
Posted by: manxman

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 08:45 AM

Good morning all. wave Busy day today so I'd best get started smile
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 10:00 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Happy Toosday's tooooooo yoooooouuuuu!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

One more day, then four days off! woot

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: my10rugrats

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 10:18 AM

L4L, they figured out the peanut butter and cheese trick. so found an easier way of doing it.
Posted by: Yankee Clipper

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 12:00 PM

Tomorrow AM I'll be leaving for Dallas for Thanksgiving and as for leaving my pets I'm perfectly miserable however I can't let my family know so will dump on g'boomers. O K. dumpted. Probably all family will be there and perhaps some in-laws. It's going to be catered with extras from whole foods and central market. The C Market thing wasn't supposed to be but Tim, the host went there to order by mistake as Jamie, hostess specified W Foods. So we have extra food. My oldest daughter, Elaine, is vegan so she'll be cooking.

I've left a millionjillion notes for the guy whose feeding my pets.

Thankx Nan and all for encouraging thoughts and words.

So no g'boomer posting for a few days -so all have a fine Thanksgiving and remember Tom Turkey.

Hey Joe, we'll be kinda close to your place. When a kid I had an arrowhead collection, must have been Niagara Frontier tribes -Tuskaraga(spelling)- but eventually I threw them back into the woods.

Anyway happy Tuesday all -byebye for awhile
Posted by: Midge

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 12:06 PM

Hi Guys wave. I'm on a computer that's here in the apartment complex I now live at. There are two computers here for anyone to use. My computer isn't hooked up yet. Needless to say, I'm exhausted from the move but I can take my time unpacking. I hope you all are having a good day.

I think I'll be spending my Thanksgiving with my Mom. At least that's what I plan on. My car will be ready today sometime. It's been in the shop for a few days.

So I'll be able to come down to the office area to stop in at the diner until my puter is hooked up. See you guys.

MIdgie hearts
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 01:18 PM

Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

Soot and I are running around doing all the necessary stuff before we leave tomorrow. Soot has a rather extensive errand list and I'm cleaning, cooking, charging electronics, laundrying, planning, and packing.

We had a great example of the goodness of people today. Son and I went online yesterday and purchased a family ticket to the zoo plus train rides. When son showed the printout to the ticket lady this morning (takes a month to get the actual pass) she said, "Whoa honey, you guys paid too much." So son called me and gave me her name and number. I called her back and it turned out that we bought a train ride pass for each person on the family pass, which we didn't need to do. 1 train ride pass was all we needed since we had the family pass. So hats off and a big thumbsup to our local zoo employees.

It's Iron Bowl time around here. Auburn and Al will be facing off on Sat...we will be on the road that day. Sadly, there is little reason to watch as Auburn's team is horrendously terrible this year.

Joe, may many points be in your future.

Ana, have fun!

Haroula wave

Cailyn, thanks for the coffee. I need tons of it today.

Gail,I hope something fun turns up.

Venus, wave

Manx, hope you get it all done. Do try to take 5 minutes to smell the roses (or as in my case, pet the dogs).

Woohoo Darlene, happy skooshing.

My10, so glad you are still ahead of them.

Yankee, I feel your pain. We are leaving tomorrow morning also. Doggies will be here with son. I know the dogs will be fine, but I'm quite sure son will be uber stressed. I always call the vet to let them know the wee ones are being watched by someone else when I leave. I put a cc on file along with instructions to take care of my babies and I'll worry about cost when I get back. Of course, we've never needed that, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. Have fun! How long is the drive?

Midgy, so glad you can get on. I think your new digs are going to be soooooo much better than where you were before. puppy

Okay, off to get to work. turkey
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 01:20 PM

Good Morning Boomers! Well, we survived the storm, now just rain and more rain and possible gusts up to 50. After yesterday, that is do-able!! Lost electricity twice for several hours and that was the darkest day!!! And my phone was loosing charge...need to take it in to the battery exchange. Running to town for some last minute items. Cooking a turkey dinner tomorrow and going to MIL's on The Day. Off I go and to all here and coming later Happy Gaming!! eatfish wave
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 01:21 PM

WooHooo Lotus, so glad ya'll are ok and that the power is back on.
Posted by: my10rugrats

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 01:44 PM

L4L, i maybe ahead of them on that , but my chloe sure has my number. she brings her dog food into the front room and hides it on the furniture until she is ready for it. we haven't figure out yet why but maybe since she is much smaller than luke and this way she knows she gets it. she quit eating the small bites and eats the bigs ones.
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 02:36 PM

My10, our Seagan won't eat any of her treats when the other dogs are around. There is a spot in the hallway where she takes them to eat.

She also won't eat a bone with the other dogs around unless she first hides hers and then goes and takes one from the guys. That one she will happily chew. puppy
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 02:47 PM

sleep wave
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 03:04 PM

Night Haroula, sleep well sleep
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 03:47 PM

Hi everyone! Busy day of juggling grocery shopping, work and heading out for the evening. I hope you all are enjoying the day. hearts
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 04:19 PM

Good afternoon Boomers. wave
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 06:22 PM

Good afternoon and evening all. Been a busy day here today. Not sure everything has been done but.....I am done for the day. Time to relax.

Ana have fun tonight and hope the project moves right along for you!!

Midge good to see you posting!! That is nice about the computers. We have that here too, but I have not used them yet. In fact I don't think I have seen anybody using them. duh Prayers for the Band around you as you travel to visit your mom! HUGS! Have a safe trip.

L4l hope you and Soot are feeling well and prayers for the Band around you as you travel for the holiday!! Have a safe trip!

Yankee prayers for the Band around you as you travel for the holiday!! Have a safe trip.

Connie prayers for the boys as they travel home. May they have a safe trip!

Prayers for ALL who will be traveling no matter how little or how much over the holiday weekend. May you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and safe travels!!

Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 06:28 PM

Finally I get to sit for a moment. I've been off and running since 7 am. Did some Thanksgiving shopping the off to lunch with my pals from school. We laugh and talk about all sorts of stuff. Found out that the trial of our school board members (indited for corruption and bribery) is pushed off a week so it's January 14th I think. Also found out that even if the two from our current board (one actually WON re-election, can you believe it?) are convicted OR if they take a plea deal, they can NEVER run for public office again and will lose the seats they have now. I sure hope they plea out and turn on the others (higher up on the food chain) that the DA really wants to get.

Fed friend's/tenant's cat. Petted him a load since he will be missing his 'daddy' for 10 days. Resisting the urge to clean the guy's house for him. Might do a little just around the area I need to use for feeding. Yukky, sticky stuff all over and fruit flies in the trash can (gotta find some bug spray there or bring mine) and dead ants stuck to every surface in the kitchen. Ugh. How hard is it to take a paper towel and wipe up stuff? Guess bachelors are a different breed. taz
Posted by: my10rugrats

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 06:29 PM

no going anywhere here. will probably be just hubby and i. so we will have left overs from our mexican feast from tomorrow night. daugherinlaw and son are coming over tomorrow night. then granddaughter will go to her other grandparents place
Posted by: 3dobermans

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 06:40 PM

Afternoon; rained all nite and now most of the day with temps during the day in the low 50's. It's a swamp out there...hope there's no gators.

May all have a great eve.
Posted by: Yankee Clipper

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 07:01 PM

Thanks Nan -son could do the nascar thing although the Thanksgiving traffic should slow him down. My doggy knows as she's been stuck to me all day long. Kits are independant as ever.

Pets and their food/eating habits. I used to have 3 horses, Snippit, Nat and Sullivan. S and N picked on Sullivan. At feeding time the 3 got grain in their pails and I put out 3 stacks of hay. Sullivan gobbeled his up and went to the smallest hay stack and when N and Sn finished their grain they would rout him out from his hay so he (smartey) went to the largest hay stack. It happened all the time.

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 07:02 PM

Oh my goodness, my back is screaming. All the air cookies and spiced pecans are made. Now I just need to put together the crockpot stew for son and then go pack. Fortunately, packing will not be hard as we are not taking much. And the other good news is that I will have all day tomorrow to read, sleep, and listen to books. turkey

Edit: Ok, Ipod loaded finally...Audible was being really really twitty...took a long time to get it to work but now I'm loaded for bear, at least when it comes to books to listen to.

My Kindle has 5 new books and has been charged, and I'm off to charge my Fire. Per will be devasted as he takes possession of my Kindle every weekend (with my permission, of course.) I've got to gather all my "What if" stuff, and toss some clothes in the suitcase, which will be the easiest part. I'll also toss in several real books because, who knows, all the electronics might stop working at the same time. rotfl

Then we will hit the road earlyish tomorrow but not early. Of course, if hubby wants to go early he can wake me and I'll just go back to sleep in the car as the car is my favorite place to sleep.

So, Happy Thanksgiving to all turkey And safe travels to those who will be doing so. puppy
Posted by: Midge

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 09:10 PM

Well, I'm up and running, thanks to my wonderful son. He's such a gem. Hi Ana wave.

Midgie hearts
Posted by: MaG

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 09:36 PM

Hi Midge. Ana is dancing the night away! laugh
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 09:43 PM

Hiya MaG wave

Midgy, that was fast! wave

Ok, tired achy body is going to bed. See you when I get back. sleep
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 11:26 PM

Home after a fantastic night. The fog is so bad I drove through areas of zero visibility. Always a fun trip. lol

Heading to bed, see you all in the morning. My head may hurt in the morning so I am enjoying it while I

Ana wave
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 11:32 PM

Happy and Safe travels L4L and anyone else who is venturing abroad. It is finally peaceful and quiet here. Stars are out and temps are dropping. There still are intermittent low rumbles of thunder far to the west over the ocean. I'm ready to finish a good book and go to bed. Good Night all. sleep
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Toosday's - 11/20/12 11:45 PM

Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!