Thurday's Turkey of a Diner

Posted by: gymcandy1

Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/21/12 11:10 PM

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain

Year after year Bubba's wife pleaded with him to take her fishing but he kept telling her she would not enjoy it. She, finally, wore him down, he consented, and early one morning they took off to the lake. They had not been there very long when the fish began biting. Almost as fast as they cast, a fish would bite, and they reeled it in. After catching their limit, Bubba said, Martha, sweet thang, I'm sorry. You've been good luck and I'm gonna bring you with me the next time. If you'll mark the spot where we caught all these fish, we'll go home.
On the way home, Bubba turned to Verna Lou and said, Sweet thang, how did you mark the spot were all the fish are so next time I'll know? Bubba, darlin', I put a big 'X' on the side of the boat right down closest to the water. Sweet thang, that's about the dumbest thing I ever seed you do. Don't you know that won't work? We may not get the same boat the next time!

National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged a program they had funded with the U.S. auto makers for the past five years. The NTSB covertly funded a project whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four wheel drive pick-up trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2% of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shoot!" Only the state of Wisconsin was different, where 89.3% of the final words were, "Hey, hold my beer and watch this!"

Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company.
During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees."

The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.

Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our cleaners has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?"

The cannibals disavow all knowledge of the missing cleaner. After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of you idiots ate the cleaner?"

A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders, Managers, and Project Managers so no-one would notice anything, and you have to go and eat the cleaner!"

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said...FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS!

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labour.
The nurse tells the first man, "Congratulations! You're the father of twins!"

"What a coincidence! I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team!"

The nurse returns and tells the second man, "You are the father of triplets!"

"Wow, what a coincidence! I work for 3M Corporation!"

When the nurse tells the third man that his wife has given birth to quadruplets.

"Another coincidence! I work for Four Seasons Hotel!"

At this point, the fourth guy faints. When he comes to, the others ask what's wrong.

"What's wrong?! I work for Seven-Up!"

A guy just died and he's at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafin' through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy.
St. Peter goes through the Book several times, furrows his brow and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you ever did anything really bad in your life, but you never did anything really good either. If you can point to even one really good deed--you're in."

The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Yeah, there was this one time when I was driving down the highway and saw a giant group of Biker Gang Rapists assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on and sure enough, there they were, about 50 of 'em ripping the clothes off this terrified young woman.

Infuriated, I got out of my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang, a Huge Guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the Biker Gang Rapists formed a circle around me. So, I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Layed him out. Then I turned and yelled at the rest of them, 'Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'"

St. Peter, impressed, says, "Really? When did this happen?"

"Oh, about two minutes ago."

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, 'You've been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.'
The cats says, 'Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that he made the cat.

The mice said, 'All our lives we've had to run. We've been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore.' God says, 'Say no more.' And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks,

'How are you doing? Are you happy here?'

The cat yawns and stretches and says, 'Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!'

Good morning. Good morning. A new day is a forming. wave

Since it's so early in the morning... thoughts are a forming in my head.

They're largely incoherent. That's nothing to do with how early it is though.

They're just largely incoherent. crazy

Whenever I say something to someone, they usually ask me "What did you say?" or "What have you been drinking?" rolleyes

That's if they're not running from me yelling "Get away from me you freak."

Some people are so touchy about strangers who start talking to them on the street. snicker

All I said was "Hey do you know how to sell a watch to a deaf man?"

"No, how?"


Those nice men in the white coats a here with a new jacket for me. I think they're crazy. It's not even cold out. razz

Have a happy Thanksgiving Day everyone. turkey

joe thanksgiving
Posted by: 3dobermans

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/21/12 11:19 PM

Good morning, though a bit early here, but wish all a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/21/12 11:26 PM

Happy Thanksgiving Joe, Trippy and all! turkey

I will be walking the dogs, cooking dinner and working. The family will all be coming here in the evening including my grand puppies. hearts

I hope you all have a blessed day.

Ana wave
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/21/12 11:29 PM

Have a great Turkey Day Boomers. turkey

Posted by: BeaSong

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 12:01 AM

Happy Turkey Day, Boomies! So much to be thankful for! ONE, being this group of super people! bravo

I'm rushing to get a greeting out while my internet is connected. A recent storm blew our surge protector and damaged our modem, so it works off and on, hopefully long enough to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving!

Don't eat too much!
I expect I'll be more stuffed than the turkey. rotfl

turkey eatfish
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 12:07 AM

SpaceQ, have a great day!

BeaSong, so nice of you to stop in. I hope your Thanksgiving Day is wonderful. I hope the storms have moved out now.

Ana wave
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 12:35 AM

Do you have to work today Joe?? I hope not.
Hi Trippy, hope you enjoy your day.
Ana, I finally got to check out LP! I have heard that song before and I love it and the video. So, do you know her??
Hi Space Quest, I hope you have a nice day. Hello Beasong, I'm not sure where you live in this great state but I think I know the storm you are talking about... wink. Hope you get your equipment fixed soon. Have a nice day too. And to all of the rest who will come later, Happy Day to all. turkey
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 01:15 AM

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!! May you all have a very Blessed day!!

Prayers for the Band of Angels around all those who may be traveling the holiday weekend. May you all have safe traveling.

I will be walking. lol Should be pretty safe, unless we get the freezing rain that is to turn to snow, that is.

Joe enjoy the day off and don't eat too much. lol

Ana sounds like a full day there, enjoy!! Hope the project is moving right along.

Beasong and Space have a Blessed Thanksgiving!!

Posted by: Haroula

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 02:08 AM

Huppy thanksgiving wave
No sun today just rain...time to do some
home stuff...and play happydance
Have all a special day flowers
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 04:00 AM

Good morning All thanksgivingCoffee is on may your day be great turkey
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 05:02 AM

fall turkey Good Morning and Happy Thanksgiving Joe, 3db, Ana, SpaceQ, Bea, Lotus, Nan, Haroula, Cailyn and all my Boomer friends celebrating today. Enjoy your day! turkey fall
Posted by: GBC

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 06:12 AM

thanksgiving thanksgiving thanksgiving


Wishing everyone a wonderful day full of good food, family and friends! turkey
Posted by: connie

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 07:40 AM

Good morning and thanksgiving to all my Diner friends. I will be cooking very soon. To all here and all that follow, enjoy your Thanksgiving Day. Danish, Waffles, and French Toast in the NC. turkey
Posted by: Midge

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 08:08 AM

turkey thanksgiving to all.

Midgie hearts
Posted by: manxman

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 08:08 AM

Good morning everyone. Hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving. thanksgiving
Posted by: venus

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 09:16 AM

thanksgiving everyone! Hope all of you have a terrific day! eatfish turkey fall
Posted by: SharonB

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 09:24 AM

Happy Thanksgiving Gameboomers all!! thanksgiving eatfish fall turkey angel woot yay

May all your stuffing be Turkey! laugh

Sharon catrub
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 09:31 AM

I hope you all have a very thanksgiving turkey
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 10:17 AM

Good morning everybody. thanksgiving

I'm being perfectly lazy this morning, but getting ready now to go to Mom's. turkey

It's a perfectly gorgeous day here as well. fall

I hope everyone has a perfectly fantastic Thanksgiving with your families. eatfish

wave joe
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 10:55 AM

Good morning everyone! I've been playing in the kitchen all morning and then hiding in the corner. I'm getting ready to run to starbucks for some liquid energy and then I'll be sneaking the dogs to the woods for a run. Then it's cooking and working till the kids come for a late dinner.

I hope you all are having a great day! So much to be thankful for.

Ana wave
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 11:38 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the
openers on this wonderful Thanksgiving Day!
Happy Thanksgiving Day tooooooo yoooooouuuuu!!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies! thanksgiving

Just about ready to head off to son and DIL's. We'll be there all day, starting off with coffee and croissants. They have a lovely, lovely home in the mountains, among the pines, and it will be lovely!

Alrighty, sweet 'Boomies. To all, may your day
be happy and blessed! kissy
Posted by: Gimli

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 01:08 PM

thanksgiving to all of you my dear friends!
We don't celebrate Thanksgiving here in Switzerland and I think in whole Europe. If you think about it: it's sad that we can't say "thank you" at least one time during the year.

So: THANK YOU for being my friends!

Love, always

Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 01:29 PM

Happy Turkey Day to everyone.

It's a quiet day in the neighborhood for now. The big 'compound' house down the street (they rent out rooms) is gearing up for a huge feast. Looks like deep fried turkey in progress, a huge tarp on the parking area and tons of cars already, and lots of new faces there. Can hardly wait to see how many park in front of my house.

So far no Tenant's son from Los Angeles. He was supposed to be here today to show off his new 'girlfriend' to his folks. He's not divorced, but he and the separated wife have an 'understanding' and I guess the girlfriend is one. Dunno if he's actually coming or not, but lots of activity down there.
Posted by: flutist

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 01:45 PM

thanksgiving to all my good friends here on GB.

Got my pumpkin pie made then went up to Ginny's to help her get her pumpkin pie in the oven. She is going to relatives. We are having Susie and Vince over. I got 2 rotisserie chickens from Sam's yesterday so will warm those up. Susie is bringing dressing and I have the rest of the fixin's

Yesterday and today are warm so Bill got our outside lights put up. Won't turn them on quite yet. Will decorate the house later next week.

Well I must go and vac the living room. Dusted this morning. Lots of dog and cat hairs. Speaking of cat, Moxie seems more calm and her fur feels a little softer. She has lots of mats that I need to cut out whenever they grow out a little further. She loves to be brushed.

Must go.

Have a wonderful day everyone.
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 03:11 PM

sleep wave
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 06:17 PM

Well at least I saw 1 good football game today. smirk

Hello everybody. I had a great day at Mom's. Went out hunting arrowheads with Baby. I didn't find any but Baby found one. slapforehead

Not really. wink

We both found some turkey though. eatfish

I have to get up so early it'll still be "black" out, so I'm gettin ready to hibernate. sleep

I haope you all had a super day. turkey

Posted by: luv2travel

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 07:14 PM

thanksgivingto all Boomers!

I'm so thankful for GB! Thank you all!

Andrea eatfish
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 08:39 PM

It's snowing out!!!! Nice big snow flakes and Sassy was running around in the ksnow having lots of fun..Abbi was giggling so hard she could not wait till she got home so she could go out and play in it. lol

Hope that everybody is having a wonderful day!!

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 11:10 PM

I am over stuffed and have vowed to never eat again...

The house is quiet after a crazy noisy time with 4 rambunctious dogs and many spills. rolleyes

It's all good though...I love having the family together. hearts

I hope all of your days were as blessed as mine was.

Ana wave
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/22/12 11:21 PM

Must be up before the Sun to feed the vampire and then a doc appointment so think I shall turn in early.

Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Thurday's Turkey of a Diner - 11/23/12 12:36 AM

Sweet dreams Nan, I am heading to bed also...long day.