Joe's After Birthday Diner

Posted by: gymcandy1

Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/05/12 07:10 PM

think Nope! Don't feel any older.

Everything still hurts just the same. lol12

(This should keep you chuckling for awhile)
A bar called Drummond's (in Mt Vernon, Texas ) began construction on an expansion of their building, hoping to "grow" their business.
In response, the local Southern Baptist Church started a campaign to block the bar from expanding - petitions, prayers, etc.
About a week before the bar's grand re-opening, a bolt of lightning struck the bar and burned it to the ground!
Afterward, the church folks were rather smug - bragging about "the power of prayer".
The angry bar owner eventually sued the church on grounds that the church... "Was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, through direct actions or indirect means."
Of course, the church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise.
The judge read carefully through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's reply.
He then opened the hearing by saying:
"I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but it appears from the paperwork that what we have here is a bar owner who now believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not!"

The doctor, after a thorough examination, sighed and said, "I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order."

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
"Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini."

After three martinis, mother and daughter were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. "I've been diagnosed with AIDS."

The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, "Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, but you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?"

"Because I don't want any of those women sleeping with your father after I'm gone."

And THAT, my friends, is "Putting Your Affairs In Order"!!

"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances."
-- Dr. Lee DeForest, "Father of Radio & Grandfather of Television."

"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives."
- - Admiral William Leahy , US Atomic Bomb Project

"There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom."
-- Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923

"Computers in the future may weigh more than 1.5 tons."
-- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." -- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"But what is it good for?" -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
-- Bill Gates, 1981

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us," -- Western Union internal memo, 1876.

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
-- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible,"
-- A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper," -- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind."

"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make,"
-- Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out,"
-- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible," -- Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.

"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this,"
- - Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads.

"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy," -- Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau." - - Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University , 1929.

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value," -- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre , France .

"Everything that can be invented has been invented,"
-- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents, 1899.

"The super computer is technologically impossible. It would take all of the water that flows over Niagara Falls to cool the heat generated by the number of vacuum tubes required." -- Professor of Electrical Engineering, New York University

"I don't know what use any one could find for a machine that would make copies of documents. It certainly couldn't be a feasible business by itself." -- the head of IBM, refusing to back the idea, forcing the inventor to found Xerox.

"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction."
-- Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse , 1872

"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon,"-- Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873.

And last but not least...

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

Good morning everyboomie. wave12

61 down and only 9 more to go before graduation from the workforce...........AKA retirement. woot

#1 of the next 365 days starts at 3:30am. Ugh! razz12

Early to bed, early to rise, makes this boy happy at about 2:00pm. santadance

Especially since I am off on Friday. woot

After I get off of work, Mom is taking me to BG's for catfish buffet. I'm gonna eat like this guy. santadance

I hope you all have a happy day.

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/05/12 07:24 PM

Joe, I am glad to hear that the new year isn't any more painful than the old one was. hearts

Have fun with mom at BG's. When are you moving back home?

Have a happy day everyone! I am supposed to go do my Christmas shopping with Sam tomorrow if I get finished in the corner. I may have to stay up a bit later than I want to to accomplish that.

Ana wave12
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/05/12 07:50 PM

Thanks Ana. My lease goes through January. wink12

Hope your Christmas shopping is a pleasant experience. Have fun with Sam. kissy12

Posted by: Darlene

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/05/12 10:13 PM

wave12 Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Enjoy your catfish buffet! I've never had catfish. Those I know who have had it love it! I should probably try it, eh?

Hey, Ana! Hope you get to go shopping with Sam! Sounds like fun!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Still Wednesday evening for me....

Downhill slide into the weekend. We've got a whopping Hearts game on Saturday at Brother #3's house. We have a ball when we get together! woot


To all abed, sleep12 To all awake, urock
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/05/12 11:16 PM

Joe, I would just move out and pay the rent anyways. You can use it as it your man cave in the meantime. lol12
I am not done, but I am still going shopping. It won't take us too long. It's a simple year.

Darlene, congrats on daughter's kitty. What a nice addition. How is Patches?

Sharon, good luck at the docs. hearts
Posted by: venus

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 12:40 AM

Glad you get off early tomorrow and have Friday off, Joe. woot

Have fun shopping, Ana. santa

Sounds fun, Darlene. Have a terrific weekend. thumbsup12

It's late Wednesday night for me, and I passed out in an uncomfortable position, which must mean all that work is getting to me. lol12 The next two weeks will be even harder, but at least I'll be happier when the paychecks come. grin12

As for tomorrow, I'm off. happydance12 Now, time to go to sleep in my actual bed. sleep12

Have a great Thursday, everyone. wave12
Posted by: niteowl07

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 01:12 AM

thanks for opening , joe ! have a wonderful day !

ana , have fun shoppping !

darlene , have fun playing cards !

venus , yeppers - sounds like a good night's sleep is in order !

to everyone ,have the best day you can , and grab some banana walnut bread with your hot coffee !

Posted by: Haroula

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 01:42 AM

Good morning everyone,I have the flu Again frown12 and junior too presents12
Have all a nice day santadance
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 03:24 AM

Good morning all wave12Chilly morning here shiverHaroula sorry to hear your sick hope you feel better soonA happy day wished for all I'll put the coffee on happydance12
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 04:58 AM

wave12 Good Morning joe, Ana, Darlene, venus, niteowl Haroula and Cailyn. Joe you're not old yet! Enjoy your catfish buffet. Ana have fun shopping with Sam. Darlene my Mom's favorite game of cards was hearts. Venus sweet dreams. Niteowl I love banana
walnut bread! Haroula I hope you and junior feel better. Cailyn how are you doing? Do I detect a little stress? Hope everyone has a peaceful day! wave12
Posted by: connie

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 07:32 AM

Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on the agenda for the day yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Thursday. Danish and Omelets in the NC. santadance
Posted by: Midge

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 08:06 AM

Good morning. It's cold out there today. Br-r-r-r. I've got a few errands today, then back to work for 5:00. An easy day today. Have a great day everyone. Be good. Pay it forward for someone. It'll make you feel good.

Midgie hearts penguin santadance happydance12
Posted by: GBC

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 08:58 AM

Goiod Morning Boomers

Joe, happy after birthday day. Enjoy your catfish buffet.

Ana,hoope your finished in the corner so you can have fun with Sam.

Darlene glad you have a chance to be with your brother. Have fun.

Haroula, well wishes sent. Hope you and Jr will be feeling better soon.

Venus, wishing you an easy day at work. Enjoy the paychecks.

Cailyn weather getting a lot chillier lately. Coffee sounds good!

Gerry, have a nice day1

Midgie, I think all our mild weather is gone till Spring now. Enjoy your day at work.

Connie, thanks for the Danish. Glad Hubby is doing good!

Hannah has a physical this morning then I'll drop her off at school. Finished all my Christmas shopping. Just need stocking stuffers. Feeling great so far. Life is good! Feeling okay so far. Life is good. yay12

Posted by: Gimli

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 08:58 AM

Good morning friends, I'am back devil... well, for the time being anyway....

We had approx 4 emergencies with my Dad and a few with my MIL. Had to stay at their respective homes almost 24/24. It's winter and Holiday time and the elderly people feel restless and sad, so they make a bit of trouble... >sigh<

I hope everything is well here. Nice Christmas decoration in the Diner Joe, thank you. It really feels like home here. And Ana still working in the corner, poor girl. And whats that new machine in the other corner? Oh boy, a Joe-k-spresso machine! Great!! thumbsup12

Ana: did you get my texted message, 2 days ago?

Joe: you are moving back home? penguin puppy I'am soooo happy for you. What did you do with your sis?

Wishing all of you a great day and a warm homecoming. Lot's of love!

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 10:44 AM

Thumping Good Thursday ya'll puppy

I'm planning an easy day today. It will include some vacuuming but other than that, a lot of peace and quiet. The boys will be here early tomorrow, or possibly earlier. Exdil just called the house, which she does when son doesn't hear his phone. I declined to answer as the only time she does this is when she wants to drop the kids early, or she wants extra money.

I will also be working on a little Christmas shopping, which will be light this year. And then, who knows....a nap? Forting up in bed and watching everything on the dvr? Reading? Walking the monkeys?

We shall see wave12
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 12:26 PM

Good morning boomies. Sam is on her way and we will knock out the shopping and then I'll go back to work.

Evelyne, I did indeed get your message, I was out driving at the time and couldn't answer and I then it was too late in the night when I remembered. It's all taken care of. wink12
I am sorry you are having such a busy time with the folks. I hope it all settles down for you.

Sam is here...I will finish this later.
Posted by: niteowl07

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 01:13 PM

shiver wow , it's a cold one here today. we're expecting first snow in a couple of days , so maybe that's why.

gotta go run a couple of errands ,then it's christmas shopping ,and come home to warm up and game.

hope you all have a great day , see you later.
Posted by: Gimli

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 03:06 PM

Ana: glad you got my text message yes I hope you have fun shopping with Sam. Hugs!

We had our first snow last Sunday, but it was only half an inch and it went away (too) fast.

Bedtime here, so sleep12 and goodnight from Switzerland

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 03:31 PM

Not answering the phone so didn't work. Both boys here. Per has pink eye! hardwall Son has injured side/arm so can't lift or use arm. Some days are not worth getting out of bed. sad
Posted by: Yankee Clipper

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 04:27 PM

Laaaazzzyyy day today. Yesterday I ate a bunch of those hot pockets snackers and am paying for it now. Have you ever read all the ingredients in them -real chemical food but they taste so good. So I have thrown the usual routine out the window and doing what I want to do. And it's so rewarding. High point -watching/listening to X factor, AGT and BGT auditions like Susan Boyle, Janey Cutler but the bad ones are hilarious. laughlaughlaugh. And now on to gaming.

Lovely weather -warm. I've rescued more butterflies and lady bugs and also millipeds -yes, millipeds they count too. I have a special plant just for them. Also bees and giant flies which I shoo outside with a broom.

Christmas shopping done, however I can't boast because all I do is give each grandchild 50$ wrapped up in a nice card. Sure makes it easy.

L4L, get yourself a PSVita and some games and stay in bed on days like these. One time I lived with 5 teenagers at the same time and wow! what a character metamorphosis. Never knew I had this in me. Anyway -happy Thursday all
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 08:16 PM

Well it seems that I have missed the whole day. lol12 Been busy but some has been a fun busy too.

Ana hope you had fun shopping and found everything you were looking for. Hope the corner project is moving right along.

Joe thanks for the chuckles! Well January will be here before ya know it then you can move. Better you then me. lol12

Evelyne HUGS!! Sorry about the parents and the inlaws. Prayers that they be feeling well soonest.

Haroula HUGS! Prayers that you and jr are feeling better soonest.

Have a nice evening all!!

Posted by: flutist

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 08:53 PM

Hi y'all.

Been busy today. That and playing.

I am going to go read, sit by the fire and put on some music.

Be good and have a great evening.

Posted by: Darlene

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 10:08 PM


Home, fed, NCIS'd....

Ana, you're a sweetie to remember Patches! hearts She misses Alex, our daughter. She'll go into daughter's old room and jump up on her bed and nap. Too cute.

OK, off to see what's afoot!
Posted by: venus

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/06/12 11:11 PM

Good night, everyone. sleep12
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Joe's After Birthday Diner - 12/07/12 12:21 AM

Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams!!