Posted by: gymcandy1

Saturdiner - 12/07/12 07:19 PM

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W.C. Fields

Facts of Life
Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter (or at least men think it means that). PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My

The first naked man a woman sees is 'Ken'.

Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.

'Oh, nothing,' has an entirely different
meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.

Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.

All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.

If it is not Valentine's Day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'

Only women understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'.

All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.

If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys (which gets them in More trouble).

Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they 'left the seat up' instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.

Women can get out of speeding tickets by
pouting. This will get men arrested.

Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.

Girls are evil
Girls = time * money

time = money, therefore:

Girls = money * money (*)

But we know that money is a root of all evil, thus:

money = sqrt(evil)

Taking into account (*), we have:

Girls = sqrt(evil)*sqrt(evil)

And finally:

Girls = |evil|

Thus, Girls are the absolute evil!

Clear as mud?

Cynic's Approach To Love
If you love something, set it free.

If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.

If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.

If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it!

Definitions By Gender
THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood. Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

BUTT (but) n
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
Male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2&1/2 min.

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your
questions is yes."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't
communicate with me!"

A sad-faced Doug walked into a flower shop early one morning.

The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on Doug's face, but soon realized his assumption was wrong as Doug asked for a basket of flowers sent to his wife for their anniversary.

"And what day will that be?" the clerk asked.

Glumly he replied, "Yesterday".

Yesterday.................think.................. Oh that's funny.

Good morning everyboomie.

Welcome to the weekend. wave12

Thank can only mean one thing. This is the end.

Well I admit it could mean more than one thing.

It could mean that the weekend is the end of my time off. I only say that because I have to work tomorrow, and I think that means the end of my time off. headscratch

I hate when that happens. mad12

I think I'll take the rest of the year off.

If the world is ending on December 22 or 23rd, then I don't want to have any unused vacation or sick time left on the books. grin12

As they say, you can't take it with you, and I don't get compensated for unused sick time, which I have about 80 hours worth. woot

Speaking of work, and I don't know why I do, but I have to get up at 3:30 for work, so I may as well get my behind to bed. sleep12

Speaking of bed, good night everybody. wink12

Have a happy day. thumbsup12

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 12/07/12 07:36 PM

Joe, I can't imagine trying to get myself in bed now and I can't imagine getting up at 3. :eek:
I hope the day is a great one nonetheless.

Have a happy day everyone! And yes....Life is good!

Ana hearts
Posted by: manxman

Re: Saturdiner - 12/07/12 10:44 PM

Hi Joe and Ana. Happy Saturday to both of you and all the boomers who follow santadance
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 12:05 AM

Well for the second time in as many weeks, Peter witnessed a car flip over in front of him and got the person out. He is on his way to the city with his friends and someone just hit three cars in front of him and one of them flipped and landed on it side. He pulled the guy out and luckily the guy is okay. Here is the car.
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 12:28 AM

That is amazing! Good for them that Peter was there.
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 12:37 AM

I always worry about him heading to the city at night and this is why.

They just posted a video of the last Salsa Funk class we held at the nightclub instead of the health club. You can see what we do Here. Such fun!

Ana wave12
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 02:51 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana,Manxman,L4L and all wave12
Have all a nice Saturday santadance
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 04:01 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana,L4L,manxman,Haroula santa Rainy and cold here shiverAna glad Peter is ok and was able to help!Coffee is brewing along with some cr.donut holes for L4L,and blueberry muffins.Happy Sat.everyone wave12
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 05:22 AM

wave12 Good Morning Joe, Ana, manxman, L4L, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe hope your work day flies by! Ana class looks like funn. Peter is a hero and lucky too! Manxman, L4L and Haroula enjoy your day. Cailyn we are also having the rainy weather but I did manage to get a walk in yesterday between the rain drops! Happy Day all! wave12
Posted by: GBC

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 06:34 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, Enjoy your early shift and the rest of the day.

Ana, wow! No wonder you worry about Peter driving at night. Glad he was ther to help.
I love the Salsa Funk! Although it imediately causes my bones to cry for major pain control meds just by watching. rotfl12

Haroula, have a nice day.

Cailyn, is the coffee ready?

Gerry, raining here too.

Wishing everyone a wonderful Saturday. Got to make a trip to the grocery store at one point this morning.
Posted by: connie

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 07:47 AM

Good morning everyone. Going shopping with best friend today. Our favorite ladies clothing store is having a customer appreciation day. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Sunday. Danish, Omelets, and Apple Turnovers in the NC. santadance
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 11:00 AM

Good morning boomies, it's a day of cleaning and chores.

Haroula, hope you are feeling better.

Sue, it sounds like a great gaming day.

Gerry, I love my Monday nights dance. You just can't help but to have fun. Hope you can get your walk in today.

Gail, it hurts me too, especially my foot, but it's worth it. lol12 How are you doing?

Connie, have fun shopping!

Hope you all are having a great day.

Ana wave12
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 11:23 AM

Good morning Boomers
Posted by: SharonB

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 11:35 AM

Good morning Joe and all Gameboomers!

Thanks Ana for asking about my test. My doctor was not happy with my EKG or my labs that he got from my family doctor. I am not cleared to have my carotid stent placed on Thursday. He's concerned there may be another block, this one to my heart.

He wants me to have more testing but without transportation I can't get there. Will have to cancel my appointments.

Will reschedule next month when hopefully I will be able to get a car.

So I've been in a bit of a tizzy sad trying to figure out what to do.

However, I will be getting my exercise today! yes I have to walk to the pharmacy to get my prescription.

A cat that actually lays in your lap. How wonderful! bravo12 My cat either lays on the opposite side of the sofa or wants me to hold her in my arms. Nothing else will do. lol12

Have a great weekend to all Gameboomers! yay12 happydance12 penguin catrub
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 11:44 AM

SpaceQ, anything fun on for the weekend?

Sharon, I am very sorry to hear that. sad I hope that you can get it all behind you quickly to ease your mind and be on the road to good health. hearts
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 11:52 AM

Super Saturday ya'll puppy

Got up to 2 boys quietly wandering the den and son sleeping on the couch. Not sure what we are doing today but I know it involves some laundry, some vacuuming, and hopefully, some playing. But you know what they say about the best layed plans. rotfl12
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 12:22 PM

wave12 Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Getting up at 3am....ouch! Hope your work day goes easy peasy!

Hey, Ana! How scary for Peter! I'm always a little nervous when daughter Alex is driving long distances by herself....

Howdy, manxman, L4L, Haroula, Cailyn, Gerry, Gail, Connie, SQFan, and Sharon!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies! It's SoI'msittingherreonceagainaftersleepinginenjoyingacupofHubby'sbrewandwelcominganew Saturdiner!

Off in a bit to brother #3 for a rousing game of Hearts. Should be a very fun day... yes

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: Gimli

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 01:53 PM

Hi and bye for today. Very busy and stressy day and now I'am tired and only want to see my pillow. Have a happy day and a great evening!

Posted by: flutist

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 02:59 PM

Hi everyone. santa

It has been a busy day. Was in rehearsal all morning and got home in time to fix lunch. Been picking out Christmas Cards and now I need to get them ready to mail. But.....first, I need to get some stamps.

Tomorrow is the concert. Going to be interesting. The orchestra is playing music written by our conductor and it will go along with the reading of "Jacob, the Baker" along with a slideshow. The choir will sing 4 numbers then the orchestra is back on stage for two Christmas carols with the choir. After the concert, we will be going over to Susie's for dinner. She is fixing a Mexican soup. Just the thing for a cold day.

I think I will work on a few Christmas cards then play something.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Bets santadance
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 03:35 PM

sleep12 wave12
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 06:40 PM

Ahhh, hubby just took off for a semi-formal Christmas work affair. I declined on the grounds that all the time and money I'd have to spend to go smile at folks that I don't know and can't understand (because of the background noise in the room--for all I know most of the time, I'm agreeing to sacrifice animals or adopt 309 kids) for several hours could be better and more enjoyably spent elsewhere.

Son and the boys just got up from a nap. It is so hot we have the AC on though I do hear that we will be cooler next week.

Off to find my own dinner. puppy
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 07:45 PM

Hello everybody. wave12

I'm finally home and cleaned up and ready for tomorrow's work day. Ahhhhhh! wink12 It feels good to sit down.

Now I've got a bunch of other stuff to do before bed time. santadance

I hope you all have had a super day, and have a relaxing evening. yes

Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 08:53 PM

Wow Peter the Hero. So in awe of someone who actually gets involved.

Hey L4L, I loved those tacky boring Christmas parties with my 2nd hubby. I used the time to smooze with his bosses and got him a promotion from Manager to Director and a pay raise. Yup, never hurts to be friendly with the boss especially when he's had a few to drink. Too bad hubby didn't appreciate his promotion since he left me soon after for the gal he dated in high school and had already reconnected with unbeknownst to me. Oh well, can't have it all. rotfl12
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 09:28 PM

Joe, I feel your pain today. I walked three malls, hubby drove me at least 70 miles and tried on at least 50 pairs of boots before finding one that my bad foot didn't complain in. I was too tired to go out to eat and told hubby we should just pick up a rotisserie chicken and I'll make some veggies and call it a day. Now I just want to sit...

L4L, hubby chuckled at your excuse not to go. Enjoy the peace.
Posted by: Midge

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 09:46 PM

Ana it sounds like you have a foot problem like I do. Buying shoes is an experience. I still don't have a pair of boots that both my feet are comfortable with. I hate buying shoes.

I need to go to bed soon. I have an early work day in the morning. I hope you all had a good day. I haven't read all the posts. Just too tired. See you in the morning.

Midgie sleep12
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 12/08/12 09:55 PM

Midgie, I live in my five finger shoes. Without them I could never go dancing. I will never have the surgery needed so my big toe will never move again. I adjust and I am thankful the rest of me is still holding up fairly well. lol12
Sweet dreams...

Sorta, I was always a hit with the bosses too. Hubby loved bringing me. grin12

Bets, good luck at the concert.

Darlene, how was your card day?

Evelyne, my friend, I hope tomorrow is better.
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Saturdiner - 12/09/12 12:04 AM

headscratch Thought I was here but I must have dreamt it. lol12 Hope everybody has had a lovely day!!

Ana Wow!!! As long as the accidents are somebody else and Peter is only the helper then all shall be well. Glad he was there to help. Love the dance video!!

Evelyne may tomorrow be more relaxing for you!!

L4l hope the eye is on the mend! HUGS!

I am heading for my pillow and think I shall stay there a couple days or at least till the snow storm is over. Still waiting for it to arrive but I know it is knocking on the door. lol12

Ana want me to send ya some????? grin12

Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams.

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Saturdiner - 12/09/12 12:15 AM

Nan, I know the snow is coming, and when it does, I will embrace it. Until then, I am enjoying the green grass in December. grin12
I hope your day was great. Stay warm!