Single Again

Posted by: butterflybabe

Single Again - 12/08/12 02:14 PM

Hi GB friends,

I've shared with you my tales of frustration during the last 7 months after starting the divorce process and moving out. This past Weds, went to court and had my marriage legally dissolved. Once the judge had the paperwork, it took maybe 10 minutes to end a 30 year marriage. Still can't quite believe it. Hardest part is getting used to thinking, saying, and writing my maiden name which I reclaimed as part of the divorce agreement. I've many fond memories and few regrets. He's been fairly amiable thru the whole thing tho the big fly in the ointment that may cause the maintenance issue to need to be reconsidered is the fact that he'll be laid off possibly soon after the beginning of 2013. So, I'm being open to the reality that he may not be able to make 72 payments. For now, tho, enjoying not having to consult and/or argue with him about everything.

Thanks for listening and just for being a GB friend.
puppy yes
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Single Again - 12/08/12 02:30 PM

On to a new chapter in your life. May it be full of amazing new adventures and peace within.

Ana hearts
Posted by: Draclvr

Re: Single Again - 12/08/12 03:52 PM

I can't express myself any better than Ana did. Now that it's over, you can concentrate on your new life and adventures!
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Single Again - 12/08/12 06:36 PM

Hugs to you and a big thumbsup for the next exciting chapter in the adventure of your life. wave12
Posted by: LadyKestrel

Re: Single Again - 12/08/12 07:48 PM

All my wishes to you, Butterflybabe!
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Single Again - 12/08/12 09:00 PM

Having been through 2 divorces, you can take my advice and consider this an opportunity to reclaim your sanity and happiness. My first was 20 years, second 5 1/2 but both still stressful to end and I couldn't help feeling like I failed.

After I got used to sleeping alone in an all too quiet house, I finally figured out the perks of being single. YOU get the TV remote all to yourself, you can eat anything anytime you want, you don't have to watch what HE wants on TV, you don't have dirty laundry all over the house, you can make all the decisions on what to buy and shop for hours and hours and bring home stuff he would never 'approve'. Enjoy your freedom, but remember all the 'good times' of those 30 years. There must have been many. Don't let the last few ruin all you accomplished.

Be happy, and hey, now you can flirt with all the men you want without feeling guilty! thumbsup12
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Single Again - 12/09/12 03:41 AM

When one door closes another one opens!Best of luck to you wave12
Posted by: Niki

Re: Single Again - 12/09/12 03:44 AM

Butterflybabe, what the others have said yes

I wish you happiness catrub
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Single Again - 12/09/12 05:39 AM

Butterflybabe I wish you the best on your next journey in life. Be happy!
Posted by: Gimli

Re: Single Again - 12/09/12 08:20 AM

I wish you also a wonderful new start in your life Butterflybabe yes

I had to laugh about what Sorta said what you now can do. I'am with my hubby for 30 years now and we never had a quarrel about the TV remote control.... because..... we never had a TV in the first place snicker

Happy Sunday my friends!

Posted by: SharonB

Re: Single Again - 12/09/12 09:38 AM

Best wishes to you ButterflyBabe. thumbsup12
luck on your new adventures! wink12
Posted by: Mad

Re: Single Again - 12/09/12 11:19 AM

Hugs and best wishes to you, butterflybabe luck
Posted by: butterflybabe

Re: Single Again - 12/09/12 12:27 PM

Thanks for all of your good wishes and, yes, I do have many fond memories. I do hope that, at some point in the future, he and I will be able to be friends. Even after court, when going to the bank to take care of a transaction, he shared info re: a private joke and had me laughing. It may be that we'll enjoy each other's company more now that we're not married. He comes across as a sweet, kind, caring man which he is yet there are conditions that I didn't understand/realize until much later in our marriage.

Sorta, I feel sad that 2 divorces have left you feeling as tho you failed. Remember, that it takes two. If you've not been able to figure out what went wrong, maybe it wasn't you. Being by myself for the first time in my life has been heaven since I don't have to answer or compromise, consider any one else but me. My diet has changed drastically since I can decide wht I want to eat and when. Not always the most nutritious but I'm giving myself that leeway for now. Ironically, picking up after him was never an issue nor was I a 'sports wife'. Compared to him I'm a slob, which I'm not, just more relaxed. I don't have a problem with people visiting if I haven't cleaned up so everything is brand spanking shiny, etc. Our problem issues derived from lack of substantial communitation. We tried everything until he stopped cooperating and it became obvious he was doing many things just to pacify me. Not the kind of man/relationship I want. Things started to disintegrate about 2 yrs ago when my mom was experiencing her own death journey. It took her 6 months and I felt little support from him. I guess he just didn't have it to give after having spent 7 yrs dealing with his own mom's slow decline which I helped him with all the way. I've come to understand that after living almost 30 yrs with my dad, a verbally abusive alcoholic; tho I didn't realize it at the time, I married the opposite, a quiet man with food issues which I later came to understand is another kind of abuse, that of silence. So, now, the only voice I listen to is my heart, and those who support rather than negatively question or cut me down for my ideas and/or feelings.

Yet, it doesn't hurt any less. Tomorrow, I meet the movers at the resident I give to my ex and my belongings will be relocated to a storage facility until I find my next home.
I look forward to living with my own decor and making a home just for me to embrace who I am without parents, family and church. Visitors are most welcome.
Posted by: Darleen03

Re: Single Again - 12/09/12 12:57 PM


Wishing you the Best of luck... My prayers for all the Best on your new journey ahead..

Hugs kissy12
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Single Again - 12/09/12 02:03 PM

Yes, a new beginning with much education in between. I wish for you a wonderful future of happiness and peace. wave12