TGIF

Posted by: gymcandy1

TGIF - 12/13/12 06:58 PM

"Plodding wins the race." Aesop
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing standing up.

Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell his wife?" They cut cards. Goldberg picks the two of clubs and has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

"Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me."

Goldberg goes over to the Meyerwitz apartment and knocks on the door. The wife answers thru the door and asks what he wants? Goldberg declares: "Your husband just lost $500 in a Poker game and is afraid to come home.

"Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife.

"I'll go tell him." says Goldberg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a true story..

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the Police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car- jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.

AH, SENIOR MOMENTS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia.

After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?"

His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"

Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!"

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass. John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car".

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted ... "COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.  santadance

gymcandy here, coming to you live from Mom's. bravo12

Live but very very tired. tired

I can barely stay awake.  tired

So..

I hope you all have a fantastic Friday.  wink12

Whenever Friday gets here that is. 

I know it will be all toooo early for me at 3:30am. shocked

In the mean time, or the nice time if you don't want mean, have a super Thursday evening!  thumbsup12

I'm outta here.  sleep12



joe
Posted by: BobH

Re: TGIF - 12/13/12 07:05 PM

Good jokes today Joe! Especially liked the Car-jacking and Coldwater ones.

Feels strange to say good morning as I have not left work yet. I have "tomorrow", Friday, off so my long weekend starts when I get out of here.

Good morning to Joe and all that come.
Posted by: SharonB

Re: TGIF - 12/13/12 08:53 PM

Great Jokes, Joe! rotfl12 The car one really had me laughing.

It's not Friday yet, but in the morning I will be doing laundry. That is my priority for the day.

Have a great Friday GameBoomers! hearts
Posted by: venus

Re: TGIF - 12/13/12 09:39 PM

Have a terrific day Joe, BobH, SharonB and all who come in after me. wave12

It's late Thursday night for me as well, but I figured I may as well post now just in case I don't have time in the morning. I have to get up at 3:30 tomorrow morning for work. Not fun, but at least it means I get off earlier. grin12

Okay, off to sleep now. sleep12

Have a terrific Friday, everyone. santa
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 12:22 AM

Good morning Joe, Bob, Sharon and Venus! yay12

It will be a busy and fun day filled with nieces and nephews.

I hope you all have a happy day!

Ana wave12
Posted by: Haroula

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 02:46 AM

Good morning Joe, Bob, Sharon,Venus,Ana
and all who follow wave12
Have all a nice day santadance
Posted by: venus

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 03:59 AM

Have fun, Ana. happydance12

Have a great day, Haroula. smile12

Well, it's work whoosh time. Hope everyone has a terrific Friday. wave12
Posted by: cailyn

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 04:24 AM

Good morning Boomers santaSo glad it's Friday happydance12I hope everyone has a great day!!Coffee is brewing santa12
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 05:05 AM

happydance12 Good Morning Joe, BobH, SharonB, venus, Ana, Haroula and Cailyn. Sounds like every is organized for the day! Enjoy All! happydance12
Posted by: connie

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 06:58 AM

Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on for the day yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Great TGIF. Danish, Banana Nut Bread, and Bacon Sandwiches in the NC. happydance12
Posted by: GBC

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 07:27 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Hello to everyone! Need coffee and Danish.

Got a few errands to run this morning after a nice walk with the dogs.

Wishing everyone a super good day! Be back later on. penguin
Posted by: Darlene

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 09:54 AM

wave12 Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! A very early morning for you. Hope your day goes easy peasy!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Cold and rainy here....

Son and DIL have company Christmas party this evening, so we have our grandbabies! yay12

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 10:43 AM

Good morning Boomers.
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 10:55 AM

Joe I remember those early morning wakeups but it has been awhile now. One day you will be able to sleep in. Thanks for the laughs this morning. Best way to start the day....laughing.

Bob how nice to have a three day weekend....enjoy!

Haroula have a nice day!

venus may work fly and go well.

wave12 Cailyn, Gerry, Gail(have a wonderful walk and fun with the errands), Connie(thanks for the treats and have a fun day whatever you do).

Darlene enjoy those grandbabies as they grow up sooooo fast! lol12 May work fly and all go smoothly!!

Ana enjoy all the company and the fun filled weekend!!! Happy you know what!! grin12

Space have a lovely day!

No plans till taxi time.

wave12
Nan
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 11:09 AM

Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

I'm running late. We set 2 alarm clocks last night but I managed not to hear either. Off to take Keoki to the vet for his yearly visit.

Who is going to see the Hobbit? Hubby, son, and I are going to join the throngs tonight. wave12
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 11:24 AM

Friday already? I'm still stuck on Thursday, or maybe Wednesday. Excitement again though on the sidewalk project. After Wednesday's digging and pulling out fences, etc, they actually dug in half of one side of the street for the sidewalk and gutter. THEN it rained, (we got 1.6 inches!) and the gutter area filled with water so they had a nice long pond there. Skipped yesterday, but are back to day in force with loads of trucks. Maybe they will drain the water and actually put in the cement. It dries in about 1/2 hour so it goes so fast. Oh boy.

Critters are still cuddling up in places outside trying to keep warm and dry. Loads of spots that I've created for them. Raccoons, I am happy to say, have not been here for 4 days now. As soon as I'm SURE that mom and babies are gone for the season, I'll block the access under the deck and make it less inviting. Cute little guys, but dangerous. Amazingly they get along with the possums and feral cats. Can't figure out how nature does that. Each takes their turn at the feeders and water dishes. Wow. We humans should learn from them!

Off to watch the sidewalk progress.
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 11:43 AM

Good morning, off to the city to the pick up one nephew, then to the airport to get the other. I giot them all passes for my club so they go hang out for the afternoon with Peter and then my niece will be here later. I am making a huge batch of Chicken parmesan with sprouted grain pasta for dinner. yay12

Hope your day is blessed...have to run.

Ana happydance12
Posted by: Yankee Clipper

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 02:58 PM

Hey Sorta, I do those things for my animal friends too. Right on!!! Couple years ago I had baby opossums and mom running around my house and the babies would nip my ankles, they trusted me. Out of the whole year, that's what I remember. I fed them cat food Fancy Feast every night. They are a joy.

And Ana I'm gonna pack up my family and you can pick us up at airport tomorrow AM. We'll bring the champaign (spelling) and make front page. Really have a grand time and get plenty of sleep too.

Kind of gray lizard-dy day but it's warm good.

Off to do dishes and then escape to Oblivion and then on to Amazon and buy up all the shooters they have.

Lookin' toward the weekend all
Posted by: Haroula

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 03:56 PM

sleep12 wave12
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 03:59 PM

Time to get ready and take the taxi out! Have a wonderful afternoon and evening all!

Night Haroula sleep well!

wave12
Nan
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 04:25 PM

Be safe, Nan.

Back from the vet. Keoki tested positive for Ehrlichia, but his platelets are fine which means he either was just exposed, or he has it but it hasn't progressed. So we will be keeping a weather eye on him. It is passed by ticks and the other dogs all tested negative. No more walks on the bike trail.

Have fun Ana. puppy
Posted by: niteowl07

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 05:01 PM

shivercold , rainy , and snowy here,trying to stay warm.

nan , be careful driving !

well . i'm off to nap - been up since 5 ,because melodee thought it would be fun if i helped her play hide and seek with a leaf she found rolleyes12 , then i couldn't get back to sleep . so now i need that nap - lol.

stay warm , and safe , and have a great evening everyone ! wave12
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 06:17 PM

Yahoo I'm home...home...home! penguin

Yahoo it rained here today for the first time in a year, it seems! yay12

Howdy everybody. wave12

I had a sleepless night at Mom's last night, and I'm ready to get a good night's sleep tonight. yes

It's cold and rainy here, and that's alright with me, but we only got about a half inch when we needed 12 inches. thumbsup12

It's been so dry here I was beginning to think it might never rain again. slapforehead

Now I need to go get my shower over.

Tomorrow is another early day, but instead of getting up at 3:30, I get to sleep in until 5:30. bravo12

I hope your day was a good one, and you are having a nice warm cozy evening. sherlock

joe
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 06:59 PM

Well, hubby is home and we are all fed. I've got to go change and get ready to go to the movie. We are all heading out to see The Hobbit! So excited happydance12
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 08:31 PM

Do you hear that??? Shhhhh.....it's silence.

The kids have all departed for the night to stay at my niece's new house and will return tomorrow morning to do it all again. lol12 Now I have to wrap presents and then I can actually take a moment for myself. I am really looking forward to it.

The only bad part of the day was when my niece walked in my house unescorted and ran screaming across the living room to hug her cousins. I was in the kitchen cooking unaware she had pulled up and I heard her scream in excitement and the next thing I hear is her screaming ow and yelling at the dog. After all these years of hanging around my house she still doesn't get that I have watchdogs here, and if you run into my house screaming and lunge yourself at someone to hug them, you will get bit. sad
In the 9 years I have had Merlin he has only given small warning nips that do not hurt but today he bit harder for a definite warning and he broke skin and gave her a large bruise.

Okay...off to wrap so I have time to chill. Life is good...
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 09:33 PM

Taxi home and parked for the night and it was fun too. Roomies sister from out of town showed up!!

Aw L4l poor Keoki. Hope all will be OK! Enjoy the movie!!

Niteowl have a nice nap and keep warm. grin12

Joe glad you get to sleep a little later tomorrow!! happydance12 Maybe some more rain will show up!

Oh Ana enjoy the peace and quiet!!! Hope all is well with your neice. Have fun wrapping!!

wave12
Nan
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: TGIF - 12/14/12 11:24 PM

L4L, do you give the dogs tick meds? I hope that he shows no sign of it affecting him. I had not heard of it before, I will have to read up.

Nan, glad you had a fun outing with roomie and her sister. yay12

Joe, sorry you had a bad nights sleep. Wasn't Baby there to snuggle with?

be back....
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: TGIF - 12/15/12 12:33 AM

Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams!!

sleep12
Nan