Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend!

Posted by: gymcandy1

Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/04/13 08:11 PM

"Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace. The soul that knows it not, knows no release from little things; Knows not the livid loneliness of fear."
Amelia Earhart

A 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband, decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was badly broken anyway. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire exactly where the heart would be on a woman.

The doctor said, "Your heart would be just below your left breast."

Later that night Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

A guy was invited to an old friends' home for dinner.

His buddy preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.

The guy was impressed since he knew the couple had been married almost 70 years, and while the wife was off in the kitchen he said to his buddy, "I think it's wonderful that after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those pet names."

His buddy hung his head. "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about ten years ago."

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh , I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

Three elderly men are at the doctor's office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, "What is three times three?"

"274," came the reply.

The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"

"Tuesday," replies the second man.

The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?"

"Nine," says the third man.

"That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?"

"Simple," he says, "just subtract 274 from Tuesday."

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol - Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead.

Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead.

Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation - What can you learn from this demonstration?

A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said,

"If you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't get worms."

Good morning everyboomie!

If Thursday follows Wednesday, then it stands to reason that.......uh.... headscratch ....this ain't Thursday.

I don't know where I'd be without reason.

Although, some times I do things for no reason at all.

Sometimes I did stuff out of meanness, but still for no reason at all. grinch

Like, Once I wrote "Kick Me Here" on the back of my brother's shirt, and drew an arrow pointing down to the bottom, for no real reason at all.

Notice I said once ?

I forgot about it, and wore that shirt myself. oops

The ignorant thing was that I accidentally put it on backwards.

I'm kicking myself for that mistake. slapforehead

Who am I kidding? I don't have a mean bone in my body.


Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason at all. blush

Well that's not exactly true.

I do that so I'll know that we're not alone. sherlock

I guess we had better get this posted now so we can get to bed.

We're awfully tired. wink12

Have a happy day you guys.

me, myself, and joe
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/04/13 08:21 PM

lol12 I hope your other half isn't a bed hog. grin12 Sleep well and have a happy day. Sorry it's such an early day for you, but at least you'll get off for a little bit of daylight.

I'll be working in the corner too. My 19th day in a row...I'll be getting a day off soon. yes

Have a great day everyone!

Ana wave12
Posted by: flutist

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/04/13 09:20 PM

Hiya Ana and Joe.

Just got off the phone with Susie. They will be bringing the dogs over tomorrow and picking up the lasagna, then leaving for Memphis. Hope they have good weather.

Well, I am going to go read for a bit.

Ana, hope you get your project finished soon.

Joe, don't work too hard.

See y'all tomorrow. Moxie goes to see the vet tomorrow morning.

Nite all.

Posted by: niteowl07

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/04/13 10:58 PM

joe , joe , just crack me up !
have a good sleep and a great day tomorrow ! smile12

ana - holy schmoly ! 19 in a row ?! hope you finish soon and get some down time.

have a great day everyone ,i'm being beckoned by you-know-who.... she must be cold ,so i guess it's bedtime for me. catrub sleep12
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/04/13 11:50 PM

Bets, safe travels for Susie.

Niteowl, tell her you have to visit with your virtual friends and she can sit on your lap in the meantime. :lol:

Have a great day!
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 05:03 AM

happydance12 Good Morning Joe, Ana, Bets, niteowl and Cailyn. Hope everyone doesn't work or play to hard! Happy Day all! Cailyn I put the coffee on! happydance12
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 05:39 AM

Good morning everyone wave12I over slept happydance12Gerry thanks for putting the coffee on santaHappy Saturday everyone sherlock
Posted by: connie

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 08:50 AM

Good morning everyone. We slept in this morning. Hubby is doing very good, we are blessed. Today we will try to take down the Christmas decorations. We were going to do it yesterday, but it rained all day. Sharon, I hope you can find some help with your appointments and house work. Big Hugs on the way. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Saturday. Danish and Biscuits with Sausage Gravy in the NC. Biscuit bottoms for L4L. winter
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 09:58 AM

Good morning Boomers and thanks for the laughs Joe.
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 11:51 AM

Super Saturday ya'll puppy

Rough night last night...brain just would not shut up last night and I could not find the off switch. I hate nights like that.

I think we will be deChristmasing the house today. I wanted to have the boys help but they are not here this weekend and I'm not sure I want to wait another week. We will have to see how my tummy does.

Perhaps that game last night got to me....naw rotfl12
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 12:00 PM

So cold around here. We actually have Winter! I thought it would never arrive. Yet, I am still wearing my sandals. So funny. Gotta go for the morning walk and see the sidewalk progress. They had a full crew there all day yesterday and I saw a cement truck so maybe, just maybe they poured more of the one side. They had barely started when vacations and rain interfered. I'm hoping to see the entire side finished and maybe some of the other side started. Crossing fingers.

All yard cats accounted for. The 'sick' ones are hanging in there, eating better, looking a bit more lively. It's a waiting game. Changed ALL their food to new bags and cans. Might have been something with the old stuff. I remember them turning up their noses at the canned food and wondering why. We shall see if they perk up any more. Wish it was warmer. They are all sitting in the sunny spots for now.
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 12:45 PM

winter Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope the Old Grind is easy on you! Happy Weekend!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Phone chat with best bud in about 15 minutes. Haven't chatted since before the holidays....

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! Be back later~
Posted by: flutist

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 01:03 PM

Hi again y'all.

Took Moxie to the vet and she gained another half pound. She is up to 6.7 lbs. now. Her fur is beginning to look better too. Will see what the blood work shows on Monday or Tuesday.

Well, it is up to 42 so think we will take Cory for a walk before Vince gets over here with his Corgis.

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 01:09 PM

Good afternoon boomies! I woke at 5am when my phone decided to tell me there was tsunami warning for Canada and Alask and then again at 8 am to say it was cancelled. After that I fell back asleep till 10am. That's a late one for me. lol12 I really need to change my alerts on my phone.

I'm hiding in the corner for awhile and then will walk the dogs later. It's above freezing for a change so it should be pleasant.

Hubby lost ten pounds since Jan 1st under my wing. I am proud of him!
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 01:37 PM

Joe I hope the next four fly for ya!! Thanks for the laughs. lol12

Ana glad all seems to be going well in the corner and hope that this one is finished in no time at all.

That is great about hubby but alot for only four days eek12 What was the trick??

Bets glad Moxie is doing better and hope the lab work is good too. Prayers for the Band around Susie as the travel!!

Gerry thanks for the coffee and I hope it has warmed up some for ya.

Cailyn glad to see you sleeping in some. lol12 Have a lovely day!

Connie I hope the weather is nice so you can dedecorate!! Thanks for the danish!!

niteowl how are things there? Silly you-know-who!!!

Space have a lovely weekend!!

L4l I do not like when that happens. Hopefully you will sleep well tonight. Have fun dedecortating!!

Sorta hope the new food does the trick. Have a nice walk!

Darlene have a lovely chat with your best bud!!

No plans here yet. Must decide if I am going to go to daughters and watch the game tonight or not. Last Sunday was the only time I watched a game and it was at her place AND the Vikings won so she wants a repeat and says I have to be there to watch. lol12 Gray matter.

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 02:09 PM

Nan, he is now eating how Peter and I eat. Only food made from scratch, no packaged foods, all natural, measured protein (he gets 8 ounces of meat per meal, women get 4 ounces) and unlimited veggies and breakfast and after workout is a large shake made of almond milk, bananas, berries, beets and whey protein. ( I use hemp protein but can't print what hubby said when I put it in his. lol12 ). No calorie or carb counting. This is the first ten days to detox after that you add in an extra fruit with your meals and either sprouted grain bread or quinoa, black or brown rice, sweet potatoe or a winter squash for your starches. It's easy, not restrictive and uber healthy. He is doing well. grin12
Posted by: niteowl07

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 04:40 PM

good afternoon ! it is a cold one here shiver i don't even want to know what the actual number is.

eveline , so glad you are enjoying your class - i used to do that and liked it very much.

ana - melodee is not a lapster ,she just likes to be very close but only actually touching with a small part of herself (unless i'm typing ,then my hands are a head rest ). funny little habits she has.

nan , i hope you enjoy the game - stay warm ,and squeeze sassy for me.

glad to hear some good news for you sharon ,it takes time , but it will get better each week.

glad to hear the improvement on the doggie, bets !

to all , have a wonderful day ! wave12
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 06:29 PM

Ana sounds good!! Glad he decided to join you!! I know if I eat breakfast I'm not hungry during the day so therefore not snacking. Where as....if I don't eat then I want to snack all day. Therefore I try to eat breakfast most days!

niteowl hope it warms up for you soo. I thought it was warm in the desert area.?? We were at about 5 when Sassy and I took our first walk but it warmed up to a nice 26!!

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 08:25 PM

Niteowl, Merlin will head to bed and wait awhile, then come back and look, and head back to bed, and repeat until we join him. He doesn't get weekend schedules versus weekday and he is always ready to head to bed at the weeknight time. lol12

Nan, hubby always skipped breakfast and I make him have his shake now to start the day. It makes a big difference. He isn't whining much. grin12

back to the corner...
Posted by: flutist

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 08:57 PM

Nan, Moxie is my 16 year old cat. She is hyperthyroid.

Gonna close off for the evening. I got some exercise this afternoon. We took Cory for a walk. Then came back and took Winston and Chloe. Then I walked up to Ginny's and took her yellow lab Curtis for a walk. What a sweet boy and walks right by your side.

Nite all.

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 09:05 PM

Just watched Batman watching football. House is deChristmased but my body is talking to me about it.

It is cold enough for a fire, but wouldn't you know, we don't have any wood for the first time in many years. This evening hubby mentioned that the place we used to get our firewood from many years ago seems to be selling it again, so maybe we will get some next weekend. Of course, then it will warm right up. rotfl12 wave12
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 09:18 PM

Hello all. wave12

After I got off of work I went straight to Mom's. I was debating on whether to go over there at all today, because it was cold and breezy all day, but before I got off it got sunny, and warmed up a bit. All I could think about was Baby waiting for me to come and play with her. puppy

That's all I needed. We went to the creek for a while, and then across the road to look for points, but found nothing today. smirk

When I got home, I had to shower, eat, and then get ready for tomorrow, before I sat down. tired

Almost time for bed now. frown12

Gotta go get a new diner day started. happydance12

I hope you all had a great day and a nice evening.

Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Back To the Old Grind/Happy Weekend! - 01/05/13 11:52 PM

Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!