Posted by: gymcandy1

Thursday's - 01/10/13 12:15 AM

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.
Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000), (Snoopy)

The doctor, after a thorough examination, sighed and said, "I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order."

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
"Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini."

After three martinis, mother and daughter were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. "I've been diagnosed with AIDS."

The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, "Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, but you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?"

"Because I don't want any of those women sleeping with your father after I'm gone."

And THAT, my friends, is "Putting Your Affairs In Order"!!

I enjoy reading these.

"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances."
-- Dr. Lee DeForest, "Father of Radio & Grandfather of Television."

"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives."
- - Admiral William Leahy , US Atomic Bomb Project

"There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom."
-- Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923

"Computers in the future may weigh more than 1.5 tons."
-- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." -- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"But what is it good for?" -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
-- Bill Gates, 1981

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us," -- Western Union internal memo, 1876.

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
-- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible,"
-- A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper," -- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind."

"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make,"
-- Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out,"
-- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible," -- Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.

"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this,"
- - Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads.

"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy," -- Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau." - - Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University , 1929.

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value," -- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre , France .

"Everything that can be invented has been invented,"
-- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents, 1899.

"The super computer is technologically impossible. It would take all of the water that flows over Niagara Falls to cool the heat generated by the number of vacuum tubes required." -- Professor of Electrical Engineering, New York University

"I don't know what use any one could find for a machine that would make copies of documents. It certainly couldn't be a feasible business by itself." -- the head of IBM, refusing to back the idea, forcing the inventor to found Xerox.

"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction."
-- Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse , 1872

"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon,"-- Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873.

And last but not least...

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977


After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Harris,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels on his chest.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, he yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a
fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

15. Took a box of condoms to the check out clerk and asked where the fitting room was?

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

One of the clerks passed out.

Good morning everyboomie. wave

I'm sorry, I just about to pass out with my computer in my lap and a bird on top of my computer. rolleyes

She wouldn't mind and I wouldn't either, but it's not the most comfortable position to sleep in. Especially for my behind. blush

I hope you all have a happy day. happydance

Posted by: Haroula

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 03:07 AM

Good morning my fiends,nice to be back yes
I hope you had a really good time penguin
Back to the ordinary...
Hope you have all a nice day wave
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 04:17 AM

Good morning Joe,Haroula and all boomers waveYes Ana I go to the gym at 5:15am.It's nice and quiet at that time! Coffee is ready have a terrific day everyone sherlock
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 04:26 AM

penguin Good Morning Joe, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe thanks for the funnies! Haroula so nice to have you back! Cailyn enjoy your workout at the gym! Enjoy the Day! penguin
Posted by: connie

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 06:39 AM

Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on the agenda for the day yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Thursday. Danish, Muffins, Bacon and Eggs, Hash Browns, Toast, and Hot Chocolate in the NC. penguin
Posted by: GBC

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 09:38 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, have a wonderful day!

Ana, did you get a chance to sleep in?

Haroula, wishing you a great ordinary day!

Cailyn, I'm ready for coffee. Thanks.

Gerry have a good one.

Connie, Danish sounds great! Enjoy whatever you decide to do today.

Walking the dogs this morning. I'm getting back to routine. wishing a great day to all!
Posted by: flutist

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 10:30 AM

Good morning y'all.

What a crappy looking day out. Ick!! A good day to stay in and play or read.

Nothing new here. All quiet on the home front so guess I'll bring up a game and go with it.

Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 10:40 AM

lol Joe great funnies!! Thanks! May you enjoy your day two of days off!! Happy hunting.

Haroula have fun getting back into the "routine"!! lol

Cailyn how is the gym workput doing?? Have a lovely day and thanks for getting the coffee going!

Gerry have a nice day!

Gail so glad you are feeling better!! happydance Have a nice walk with the dogs!!

Connie hope you find something fun to do! Thanks for the danish and have a nice day!

Bets how was Susies trip?? Hope she had a good time. Happy Gaming!!!

No plans today. Sassy and I have a good half mile in already. Only 13F out but no wind so felt nice! Suppose to warm to almost 40F so I see a nice long walk in our near furture!! happydance

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 11:41 AM

Good morning boomies! I am off to the chiropractor, be back in a bit!

Ana wave
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 12:32 PM

Thumping Good Thursday ya'll puppy

It's a rainy, overcast day here. The glass guy is going to try to change our windshield in between the rain drops.

Not sure what else is going on today wave
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 01:55 PM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope you have a happy day, as well!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Feeling under the weather today, so I am home. No sleep last night. Finally, fell asleep around 5am, slept 'til 10:30. Much needed...

An easy peasy day is ordered!

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 03:36 PM

Glass guy gave up. Said he'd try again tomorrow at 7 a.m. eek
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 03:39 PM

Good afternoon Boomers.
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 03:59 PM

In the Morning L4l??? eek May you sleep well so you wake refreshed and ready to go!!

Darlene prayers that you are feeling better soonest!! HUGS!

Space only one to go till the weekend!! happydance

Ana good luck with the adjustment!!! Are you corner free still??

Has warmed to 44F so me and Sassy just back from hiking about two miles. She wanted to keep going. lol

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 04:24 PM

Good afternoon boomies! Talk about errands to run! Peter and I decided to map out a list of locations that he had CHristmas returns, plus a stop to get his tips at work, a tux fitting for his cousins wedding, contact lenses at Sams Club and a stop at the butcher and then of course the chiropractor. In all we did 9 stops. What a productive day except only 2 of the stops were for me. rotfl

SpaceQ, hope you have a pleasant evening.

L4L, he couldn't go in your garage or anything to finish up? How did your windshield break? Knock on wood, my cracked windhield withstood the winter and didn't snap in half. I hope it get me through another year.

Darlene, so sorry you are ill. I hope a day of rest takes care of it.

Nan, we hit 45 but it's damp and drizzly. A great gaming night!

Bets, happy gaming!

Gail, so happy to see you back. I hope you are on an upward swing now. hearts

Connie, have a happy day.

Gerry, hope it's a good day for you.

Sue, our club is open 24 hours but classes start at 5:30. There are lots there at that time to get their workout in before work. I think the only way I could get there at that time was if I stayed up all night. I just can't make myself get up anymore. lol

Joe, are you drying out now or do we need to send help?
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 04:39 PM

Well, glass guy is back. The rain has stopped so he is trying again.

Ana, our garage is so packed with junk that you can't get a gnat in there, nevermind the car. rotfl

We go through the junk and toss on our way to a clean garage, but then we get sidelined and the stuff that is in there breeds while we aren't looking. One of these days we'll have an actual car in our garage.

Son just said the boys were on the way over.
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 05:20 PM

L4L, you should get the new game on BF today. You will love the Newfie that is your sidekick.
WAnt me to come declutter your garage? I am really good at it!
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 06:50 PM

Hello everybody. wave

I had a great day. My friend Shane called and wanted to go head hunting. I got ready and went to Mom's and got my big rubber boots, and my doggie first. We went out in the back woods to a spot with a creek and looked around under a bridge, but there was too much water running in the creek. wink

After driving around for a while we went back home. I went to Mom's and headed over across the road to the hill and started to dig around. happydance

I dug up this beautiful unfinished translucent point with the stripe running throught it. woot

I have to be at work at 5:00, and you know what that means. I've gotta run and get ready. razz

I hope you all had a great day, and have a nice evening. wink

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 07:17 PM

You rock Joe!What a beauty. yay
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 08:20 PM

I think that's my favorite one so far, Joe. Nice!

Hey it's COLD here. Actually it's 57 out but we have a horrible wind that makes it feel like 30's. Ugh. Keeps blowing our trash cans over, breaking tree branches, and spreading other people's garbage all over my yard. I'll have to wait till tomorrow to clean it up since the trash trucks (which usually pick up before noon) are just now arriving. One can down, one to go. It's getting DARK and I still have a can out there!

Burrrrrrr! I'm almost ready to pack up and move to Hawaii. rotfl
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 08:31 PM

Haroula, I am sorry, I somehow missed you this morning. Is it back to work time already?

Sorta, stay warm! If I could afford to move to Hawaii, I'd be there in a heartbeat.
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 10:00 PM

Good Evening. Stopping for a quick hello.
Glad you are back Haroula. Hope the vacation was wonderful!
Hope you get better soon Darlene!
Hi's to Gerry, Connie and Sue.
Ugh, it's been a crappy, cold day here too, Bets.
Did glass guy ever complete his job, L4L?
Gail, it so good good to hear you are doing better. Hugs to you, brave heart!
Nan, you and Sassy are totally brave going out in that kind of cold. Makes my teeth shiver just thinking about it!! penguin
Hi Space!! How are you?
Ana, I just can't imagine your kind of busy. Do you ever catch a glimpse of your backside hurrying away in front of you??
Joe, that is the most beautiful arrow head I have ever seen. Do you know what kind of stone?
I'm with you sorta, on a somewhat different level. Our winters used to be temperate and not much go below the fifties and now? I'm about to go for that much needed trip to Hawaii but I might not come back.
Off to check the wood stove. Have a great evening and Happy Gaming!! wave
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Thursday's - 01/10/13 10:24 PM

The glass is finished, and the boys (2 legged and 4 legged) are all tucked into bed. Son is having a hard time with his feet...they are all tingly since he fell on the stairs the other day. Time to tuck me in too. Sleep well all sleep
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Thursday's - 01/11/13 12:10 AM

Aw Lotus I have lived in this all my life and besides I have the clothing for it too. Was fun! Keep warm and throw another log on!! lol

L4l glad the window is finished! Poor son. sad Prayers headed up for his back to be better soonest!

Joe lovely find!! thumbsup

Ana you sure had a busy day doing errands. It is raining here also. I am just praying that it doesn't freeze. Could make for an interesting walk in the morning. eek

Time noe to head for bed. Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!