Posted by: gymcandy1

TGIF - 01/10/13 07:33 PM

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank balance smaller, home happier, clothes dirty, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.

Goodbye To Mother

A couple were going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc.

The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab -"Sorry I took so long" he says, "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"


Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"

Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."


How'd you want them?

A little old lady had two monkeys for years. One day one of them died of natural causes.

In grief, the second monkey passed away two days later. Not knowing what to do with them, she finally decided to take them to the taxidermist and have them stuffed.

After telling the owner of her wishes, he asked her, "Do you want them mounted?"

Blushing, she said, "No. holding hands will be fine."


Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear.

He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.

He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step.

Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat.

Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.

The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"

Two campers were hiking in the forest when all of a sudden a bear jumps out of a bush and starts chasing them. Both campers start running for their lives, when one of them stops and starts to put on his running shoes.

His partner says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!"

His friend replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you!"

Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
I'm a big girl I won't cry,
I'm just glad that cows don't fly.

A motorist driving by a Texas ranch hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road.

The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.

"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher.

"But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out."

The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.

"Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It is post-dated six years from now."

Good morning everyboomie. wave

Since I have to be at work at Zero Dark Thirty I'm gonna make this short.

Have a happy day everyone.

Yeah not quite that short. lol

It's the day after yesterday, or the day before tomorrow. I can't dismember which.

All I know is that I need a haircut today so I can get rid of these fleas. headscratch

Maybe I'll just set off a Raid bomb in the oven and stick my head in it.

That'll teach me to drive around all day with my doggy in my lap. puppy

I have to meet with my manager for a half hour today so he can tell me what is expected of me this year. mad

I'm sure it'll be the exact same as last year's review, except that he'll expect more productivity and less non-productivity. lol

I think I'll try and shake off a few of those fleas on him while I'm there.

Then I'll say, "THERE'S A FLEA ON YOU!" and toss him a ice pick to kill it. evil

Ya'll know I'm serious right?

{{{{KIDDING!!!!}}}} I'm kidding. slapforehead


Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: TGIF - 01/10/13 08:39 PM

lol You crack me up Joe! I hope they appreciate you at Lowes. If not give me your bosses number and I'll set him straight!

I'll be going to Zumba and then not sure. I may or may not be in the corner. I am sure the dogs will appreciate a run too. puppy

Have a happy day everyone!

Ana wave
Posted by: flutist

Re: TGIF - 01/10/13 09:19 PM

Hiya Joe and Ana.

I gotta go work at the library gift shop for 2 hours. Then come home and do the usual Friday chores. Never ending. Of course we could go buck necked, then what would people think. Probably scare em. Oh well, we will forget that.

Gonna close off, feed the cat, read for a few then sleep

Tomorrow is another day, I think.

Nite all.

Posted by: Haroula

Re: TGIF - 01/11/13 02:17 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana,Bets and all who follow wave
Ana,I will go to work on Monday eek
Sunny but a little cold here winter
Have all a happy day penguin
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: TGIF - 01/11/13 04:28 AM

penguin Good Morning Joe, Ana, Bets, Haroula and Cailyn. I put the coffee on Cailyn. Hope you all enjoy your day! penguin
Posted by: connie

Re: TGIF - 01/11/13 06:54 AM

Good morning everyone. A trip to the grocery store is in the cards for today. To all here and all who follow, have a Great TGIF. Danish, French Toast, Bacon Sandwiches, and Hot Chocolate in the NC. penguin
Posted by: Darlene

Re: TGIF - 01/11/13 09:54 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! You give us laughter to start our day! kissy Hope your Friday is Fab-U-Lous!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Back to work this morning.

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: TGIF - 01/11/13 10:24 AM

lol those were funny Joe, thanks!!! Hope the meeting goes well and that they give you a raise!!!

Ana sounds like a fun day ahead. How much rain did you get?? It is still coming down here. Might need the ark with skates on it. lol When the rain hits the ground it is freezing and our walk this morning was kinda short do to the fact I didn't want to fall and Sassy didn't want her feet wet. lol Have fun what ever you do!!

Gerry thanks for getting the coffee going. Have a nice day!

Bets lol I would rather have laundry to do. Have fun at the library!!

Haroula at least you can do some relaxing at home before heading off to work! Have a nice day!

Connie have fun grocery shopping!! Thanks for all the treats. Yummmmy! Have a nice day!

Darlene hope things are better at work now. May all go smoothly!! have a nice day!

No plans but hoping it stops raining and the ice goes away for the taxi to make a run and then work the fish fry!

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: TGIF - 01/11/13 11:07 AM

Well, our net apparently has gone on's down more than up today. sad
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: TGIF - 01/11/13 02:10 PM

Good afternoon boomies! I took two classes in a row this morning, I did Zumba and Yoga and now I am off to run the dogs in the muddy woods. lol We had crazy rain the last 24 hours.

When I get home I am back in the corner for a week. I will come up for air.... grin

Nan, Evelyne needs the band tomorrow to go to Switzerland if you don't mind.

Evelyne says hi to all, she lost her net again and will be driving home to Switzerland tomorrow. Hrer dad is doing very poorly, so prayers would be appreciated.

Off to the woods...the dogs are going crazy!
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: TGIF - 01/11/13 04:23 PM

Ana sending the Band for safe travels for her and hubby. Let her know that they will be in my thoughts and prayers! Sending her HUGS!!

What a fun filled morning you have had. I did a lot of shredding. lol Have a safe from falls in the mud walk with the dogs!!!

I am off to venture out now the rain has stopped. Still cloudy and foggy and I am hoping that the wet roads and sidewalks dry before the temp decides to take a dive.

Taxi time and then fish fry!! Have a wonderful rest of the day!!

Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: TGIF - 01/11/13 04:36 PM

Welcome to the weekend Boomers.
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: TGIF - 01/11/13 04:40 PM

Are you sure the weekend is here? puppy
Posted by: Yankee Clipper

Re: TGIF - 01/11/13 04:55 PM

Fridayfridayfriday and it's warmwarmwarm but a bit soggy due to all the most welcomed rain and I got a haircut yesterday, no more shaggy doggy -well, for awhile. It's 70 outdoors.

A few more days and Devil May Cry 5 will arrive -O Joy- Move over Oblivion although my kitty cat is 27 or 26 now and is doing those Ob gates. He is especially fond of those sigel stones for enchanting.

Right now I'm eating crusty rosemary Italian bread with gobs of butter yumyum. Bread is mearly a conveyance for butter, Right?

Happy Friday all -Hello weekend
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: TGIF - 01/11/13 05:46 PM

Had a great walk with the dogs, even though it was really muddy. I couldn't get out of the woods to walk the cleaner fields because the ranger was in sight range and I don't feel like paying them 150 dollars again for having the dogs off a leash.

It hit 51 today, far below the predicted 60 and then back to a high of 20 by Sunday. Strange winter...

Nan, stay dry and thanks for the band for Evelyne.

Yankee, I don't eat anything but sprouted grain bread anymore but fresh crusty bread with butter is definitely heaven. hearts

be back
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: TGIF - 01/11/13 08:10 PM

Hey ho everybody. thumbsup

I had a great day. We got all the way up to 69, or higher, and it was quite nice. I went to Mom's after work (where else?), and of course I headed for the old hill, to dig for old points. I didn't find any, but I aggravated an old pain or two. shocked

Tomorrow we are supposed to only be 52 degrees and rainy again. smirk

Now it's time to make a mad dash around the block and get a new diner ready for a new day. yes

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: TGIF - 01/11/13 08:15 PM

Joe, sorry you had no luck today. Tomorrow is another day.

Midgie, you okay out there my friend? Miss you!
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: TGIF - 01/11/13 08:17 PM

Ok, the heat has worn me out...well, the g'kids helped rotfl

I'm going to bed early and pray for cooler weather. It is....not joking....over 80 degrees in the house and nearly 80 outside!

Sleep well all sleep
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: TGIF - 01/11/13 09:53 PM

Taxi home and parked and had a good time at the fish fry. Was a little slow but I suppose since it was raining and one never knows when the temp will drop and it all turn to ice, so people stayed home. duh It hasn't yet though. happydance

Space enjoy the weekend!!

L4l 80?????? Tomorrow night the windchill will be -15 to -20. eek Please send a little of that heat this direction!!

Yankee glad ya got a little rain and I hope it helps. Happy gaming.

Ana you sure take those chances. lol Glad the dogs got to run though. Are ya in the corner yet??

I was wondering about Midge myself. Hope all is well. Last I knew she was going to the Boston Pain Clinic.

Joe sounds like you had some fun after work. happydance Sleep well.

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: TGIF - 01/11/13 10:04 PM

Nan, I am definitely in the was a nice couple days off. Our temp drop is tomorrow some time. Hubby is golfing with BIL so I hope it holds out for them.

I have been wondering how the pain clinic went too. duh
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: TGIF - 01/12/13 12:40 AM

Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams!!

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: TGIF - 01/12/13 12:58 AM

Sweet dreams Nan. sleep