Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday

Posted by: gymcandy1

Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 01:19 AM

Buzzy Wuzzy was a buz.
Buzzy Wuzzy had no fuz.
So Buzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy.........was he? headscratch

"People are like stained glass windows; they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within." -- Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"


Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?" A little boy on the front row proudly said, "You're a mother!"


As a new school principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day. The school where he had been a Principal the previous year had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox. Cautiously, he asked the school's long time Custodian, "Do you think it's wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to let the teachers take things without requisitions?" The Custodian looked at him gravely... "We trust them with the children, don't we?"


A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. He had no trouble with discipline that term.


My son, Mitchell, a kindergartener, practices spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat," "dog," "dad," and "mom" have been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I spelled, Mom!" Mitch exclaimed, a proud smile on his face. "That's wonderful!" I said. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight." That Christian education is certainly having an impact, I thought, happily. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. "Mom? How do you spell 'zilla?'"


Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. "Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."


An English teacher often wrote little notes on student essays. She was working late one night, and as the hours passed, her handwriting deteriorated. The next day a student came to her after class with his essay she had corrected. "I can't make out this comment you wrote on my paper." The teacher took the paper, and after squinting at it for a minute, sheepishly replied, "It says that you need to write more legibly!"


A young student reported for a final examination that consisted of only true/false questions. The student took a seat in the hall, stared at the test for five minutes, removed a coin from his pocket and started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet. Heads meant true, tails meant false. The young student finished the exam in 30 minutes, while the rest of the class was sweating it out. Suddenly, during the last few minutes, the young student began desperately throwing the coin and sweating profusely. The moderator, alarmed, approached the student and asked what was going on. "Well, I finished the exam in half an hour," said the student, "but I thought I ought to recheck my answers."


One morning a mother was trying to wake up her son. "Wake up now! It's time to go to school." "I don't want to go to school," the son replied. His mother said, "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school." "Okay. One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me." "Not good enough," the mother replied. "Fine," the son said. "Then you give me two good reasons why I SHOULD go to school." "One, you're 50 years old. Two, you're the principal of the school."


The new family in the neighborhood overslept and their six-year-old daughter missed her school bus. The father, though late for work himself, had to drive her. Since he did not know the way, he said that she would have to direct him to the school. They rode several blocks before she told him to turn the first time, several more before she indicated another turn. This went on for 20 minutes - but when they finally reached the school, it proved to be only a short distance from their home. The father, much annoyed, asked his daughter why she'd led him around in such a circle. The child explained, "That's the way the school bus goes, Daddy. It's the only way I know."


Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute teacher standing outside his classroom with his forehead against a locker. I heard him mutter, "How did you get yourself into this?" Knowing that he was assigned to a difficult class, I tried to offer moral support. "Are you okay?" I asked. "Can I help?" He lifted his head and replied, "I'll be fine as soon as I get this kid out of his locker."


One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like that?" I asked her. "I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything to embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting school. So now I've come to spend the day with him!"

Good morning everyboomie. wave

Come in and have some boomielicious eggs, and bacon, and hashbrowns. happydance

If you eat all of your breakfast, you can have a hot cinnabunn for dessert. yay

Don't forget your ..cough..cough, coffee. blush

Sorry my keyboard had a tickle in it's throat.

Have a hap..hap..happy day everyone. winter

That was just me. snicker

Posted by: Haroula

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 01:54 AM

Good morning boomers,work day for me woozy
Have all a great Monday penguin wave
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 03:53 AM

Good morning Joe,Haroula,and all who follow me in later waveThanks for the breakfast Joe I really need the :)Have a great Monday everyone puppy
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 04:44 AM

penguin Good Morning Joe, Haroula Cailyn and all on the way to Joe's. Hope everyone has a great day! penguin
Posted by: venus

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 06:14 AM

Hello and goodbye. wave winter
Posted by: GBC

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 06:46 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, have agreat day.

Haroula, hope you have an easy workday.

Cailyn, coffee please. Enjoy the warm weather.

Gerry, enjoy whatever is on your agend this morning.

Venus, have a good day at work.

To all who come in....happy day!
Posted by: connie

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 07:32 AM

Good morning everyone. Not sure what the day will bring yet, but I'm sure there will be some shopping involved. To all here and all who follow, have a Beautiful start to the new week. Danish, Waffles, French Toast, and Hot Chocolate to go with Joe's breakfast Goodies and Cailyn's Coffee. penguin
Posted by: Midge

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 08:22 AM

Good morning. I don't have to be at work until 5 tonight. I haven't planned my day yet. Just enjoying my cuppa tea and a bite to eat. I hope you all have a good day. Hi Joe, Haroula, Sue, Gerry, Venus, Gail, Connie, and all who follow me in the diner.

Midgie hearts
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 09:21 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Have a hap...hap...happy day, as well! smile

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 10:04 AM

Good morning boomies, I will be in the corner all day and all evening. Sadly, I have to forgo my favorite dance class tonight and I am unhappy about that. This too shall pass. I am thankful to have a job...

Hope you all have a fantastic day!

Ana wave
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 10:16 AM

Well just pretend I wasn't here yet!! Got a call and have to run. Have a great day everybody!!

Be back....

Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 11:56 AM

35 degrees outside last night! I've got to move to a warm climate. Oh, wait! I LIVE in a warm climate. Someone, somewhere is hogging all our warm weather. Usually January is our warmest nicest month with our Santa Ana's, but this year. Sigh. Cold cold cold. Tired of wearing sweatshirts. OK fess up you warm air hoggers!

Sidewalk work in full swing across the corner. Wow. They all arrived about 6:45 and promptly at 7 (official city time for starting noisy work) they were hacking and hammering and beeping. Nice. Gonna be a beautiful street in about 6 weeks if the schedule holds.

hen it will be convincing the homeowners that now that they have lovely sidewalks and curbside parking (instead of wide dirt strips) that they will have to start parking like HUMANS.

So far, the few 'offenders' continue to park their vehicles in the new driveways, BUT they overhang the sidewalk so if you are walking on it, you have to go out into the muddy dirty street to get around the cars. It's only about 3 houses of 10 so maybe they might get with the program.

My walking partner made a point of loudly informing me as we walked by the worst of the offenders, that 'it won't be long until they start getting tickets for blocking the sidewalk.'. The owner lady was right there, I'm sure she heard. Unfortunately she's still parked there.

After our sidewalks were done and all cleaned up, etc. the city parking authority came by with a 'ticket lady' and a fleet of tow trucks and made a nice clean sweep of all offenders. Maybe they will do the same over there. I really feel bad for the 2 guys who use walkers, and the wheelchair lady since they have to go around in the street like we did. Not being very neighborly I think.

Walking later today to let things 'thaw'. So cold out there. Might actually have to switch from sandals to real shoes. rotfl
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 01:27 PM

We have 65 degrees here and climbing yayBroke out the sandals this morning,my feet thank me! wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 01:32 PM

lol It was 9 degrees here this morning!
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 01:46 PM

Good after morning everyone. wave

It is very sunny and very cold and very windy here this morning. Just perfect for moving. NOT!! shame

I'n packing and loading my truck up with the small stuff to take over today. Saturday I will move everything else. woot

Oh the joy of it all. rolleyes

My dinner is ready now. Gotta go. happydance

I hope you're all having a great day. woot

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 02:11 PM

Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

It's a gray, rainy day here, which is just fine as it is at least a tiny bit cooler happydance Still hot, but no longer suffocating. Sorry Sorta, I'm trying to send this heat back your way.

Joe, welcome "home", again!

I've been doing a little playing and a little cleaning. Now it's time to do some sitting, sipping, and surfing. And ordering...I'm running low on washing powder which is a major no-no in this house.

Ana, I hope you get out of that corner soon. wave
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 03:51 PM

Thanks for the laughs Joe.
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 03:52 PM

Quest, how's the day going?

edit: Well dinner is over and the kitchen is clean. I'm going to go to bed, watch Bones, and hopefully, go to sleep. I didn't sleep last night so I'm done in.

Sleep well all sleep
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 09:12 PM

Joe, I am so happy for you. hearts

L4L, hope you sleep well.

back to work...
Posted by: Midge

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 09:59 PM

Saying good night. Home from work. I get to sleep in in the morning. yay Hope you all had a good day. Joe I'm so happy for you. I'm sure Baby will be there wagging her tail at you. Hugs.

Midgie sleep
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 11:00 PM

Joe I pray that all goes well with the move!!

Ana hope the project is moving right along.

Sorta don't ya just hate it when they park blocking the sidewalk? There are a few here that do that and it makes it hard in the winter cause then I have to climb through the snowbank and walk in the street.

Space hope you had a good evening.

L4l enjoy the show (I'm taping the show) and sleep well.

Night Midge enjoy the sleep in!

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Sip-n-Surf, Eat off the Turf Monday - 01/14/13 11:58 PM