Posted by: gymcandy1

I AM TGIF - 01/17/13 08:07 PM

That [sex] was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
Woody Allen

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.

An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad.
She began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued.
"You must take the loyalty oath first," responded the passport clerk.
"Raise your right hand, please." The old gal raised her right hand.
"Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States of America against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?" was the first question.
The little old lady's face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a small voice:
"Uhhh... all by myself?"

One day an immigrant from Poland entered a New York City Police Precinct to report that his American wife was planning to kill him.
The police officer on duty was intrigued by this, and he asked, "How sure are ya that she is gonna kill ya? Did she threaten to kill ya?"
"No," replied the nervous immigrant.
"Did ya hear her tell someone else that she's gonna kill ya?"
"Did someone tell ya that your wife is gonna kill ya?"
"Then why in God's name did ya think she's gonna kill ya?" asked the exasperated police officer.
"Because I found bottle on dresser and I think she gonna poison me!" He handed the police officer the suspect bottle.
The police officer took one look at the label on the bottle and started to laugh out loud.
The label read, "Polish Remover."

Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.

Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.

Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.

Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.

Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage.

Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered.

A pissed-off wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he asked.
"Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied. So, the husband ordered beer and threw his down in one shot.
His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out. "Yuck, that's TERRIBLE!" she spluttered.
"I don't know how you can drink this stuff!"
"Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"

A radical feminist gets on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat.
"Here we go again," she thinks to herself. "Yet another man attempting to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," and she pushes him back onto the seat.
A minute passes and the man tries to get up again. She's insulted again and refuses to allow him to get up.
This happens several times over the next few minutes.
Finally, the man pleads, "Lady, please, you have to let me get up. I'm already a couple of miles past my stop!"

For the first time in many years, an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie.
After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $3.75, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents."
"Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now."

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.'
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!'
The woman said, 'That's okay.'
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world; an Adonis whom women will flock to'.
The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.'
So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.'
The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.'
So, KAZAM - she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild heart attack.'
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Good morning! Good Morning! wave

Outside the ice is forming.

My eyes have tears, my ears are numb.

I wonder when the heat will come.

My heater is so slooooow. winter

Good morning everyboomie. wave

IT'S FRIDAY!!!!! penguin

Actually it's going to be a very nice sunny warm day near 60 degrees. yay

You know how I know that??

The weatherman said so, that's how, and the weatherman, (SORRY), weather person is always right.....right? crazy

I'm sure though that when I go in to work at 4:30am it might be a tiny bit nippy. shiver

Good thing I have a coat for that very reason.

"Be prepared", that's my motto. yes

No wait my motto is "never do today what you can put off till someone else does it."

No....my motto is "respect vegetables, don't eat them."

Maybe it's "early to bed......................oh never mind.

I have a coat anyway, and about that last motto, the early to bed thing. I'm not healthy, wealthy, or wise, but I gotta get up early, so I gotta get to bed asap, if not as soon as possible.

Have a happy day everyone.


Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/17/13 09:24 PM

Joe, I would love your 60's. I'll trade you my 19. grin My last day in the corner, a lot to do in very little time so I wish you all a good day. hearts

I just got back from the hall where daughters wedding is going to be for their food tasting. I am so full I feel like a weeble! We had to try 8 chicken dishes, 3 pastas, two sausages, potatoes, veggies, and 4 kinds of cakes. rotfl We had a blast but oh my goodness, so much food!
Posted by: Gilligan

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/17/13 10:05 PM

Holla Good morning to you all ..Hi Ana..hi Joe 😊

Flood is drawning my capital city,all the main road been closed
Half of activities is numb,my area still save but we alarmed
The flood this year is bigger than the last one ,I forgit when around 2007-2008
And the rain continue since two days ago,only stop for couple hours in the evening and drops again till morning 😔
I pray for the unlucky people while am lucky that am save and dry

Well that's the bad news grin

How are you all ..miss being here

Be back after I finish my breakfast,hugs

Edit: if you find something strange on my text word....
That's because my auto correction is off, LOL 😄😄 sorry

Edit#2: seriously? The electricity is down ..I really not happy with this duh
My battery lifespan is dying 😱😱 the powerbank is half empty
How can I survive ....#am being dramatic coz the battery#
It's like I'm being stranded on Silent hill town 😄 lack of supply
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/17/13 10:30 PM

Natasha, so happy to see you in the diner but so sorry to hear your area is again experiencing mother nature at her worst. How is Friday looking for us other than rainy? hearts
Posted by: Gilligan

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/17/13 10:42 PM

Hi Ana wave Friday always charmed me

Yes we're having natural disaster in my city
While I'm here having my own natural disaster
1. Electricity down
2. Walk to my lil daughter room to clean up open the door just like open the pandora box 😄

I'm complete today LOL
Hope for something good like martini for this evening 😄
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/17/13 11:03 PM

lol I can only imagine how you will survive without your gadgets! kissy Save your cell phone in case of emergency.
Maybe cleaning your daughters room will distract you from the lack of power.

Ana wave
Posted by: Gilligan

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/17/13 11:46 PM

😱 This is horrible Ana...
I charge my phone to my laptop unfortunatelly the ipad wont charging with the computer plug duh
There.....I'm doom ..all gadget is dying now my only hope is laptop battery grin
Wish the electricity back in a short time

One of my cat having cold,the vet is off coz She can't go out from her house area because the flood
Another trouble comes *faint*
Allright.... Next ....📢
Am hopeless here LOL 😄

Edit: Ana,the cleaning won't distract me ...
Because I threw the claning duty to my maid hahahahaah
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/17/13 11:57 PM

Natasha, you crack me up. Call your masseuse over to take care of you. I hope your kitty feels better. hearts Keep us posted!

EDIT: I just checked the news, you guys are seriously flooded! What a tragedy for the people in low lying areas and the CBD. I hope your water subsides quickly.
Posted by: Gilligan

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 12:07 AM

Ana grin isn't that flood romantic? Our capital city just like Venice LOL
Ussually we have car traffic,in a meantime we got boat traffic duh

edit: I've manage connect my laptop wifi using my iphone *yaay*
and oh my....those smiley's from the iphone (emoticon) viewing from original page isn't that scary???? LOL..it's like melted hahaha

65% of my baterry lifes..wanna bet if I'm goin to survive or not :LOL:

anyway..have a Great Friday ahead my dear Boomers
if am not reply the post,that means my battery and all my gadget is Dead LOL..am going to call electricity company who's handle my area and only say words.."how looooong...am dying here while I can't go out coz' the flood everywhere"

just saw yesterday news,there's one silly guy riding his RollsRoyce car and he began dig up the water from inside coz water is filled inside LOL..well that's fun
Posted by: Haroula

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 02:11 AM

Good morning boomers,have all a nice day wave
Posted by: Gilligan

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 02:58 AM

electricity is Back..woohooo..right about 10% my battery is dead praise..

nothing to do this evening..
and Trying to play the Game FarCry3..and how come that game is very stressful...LOL
chasing here there...hrrrrr

be back shortly ,older daughter just come back from her campus,and lil one just walk in with some words for me

Good Morning Haroula wave
Posted by: cailyn

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 04:19 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana,Natasha,Haroula waveNatasha good to see you,coffee is ready have a great day everyone puppy
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 05:28 AM

wave Good Morning Joe, Ana, Natasha, Haroula and Cailyn.Joe keep smiling. Ana glad to hear it's your last day in the corner. Sounds like you had lots of fun food testing! Natasha I'm so sorry to hear about the flooding. I hope the rains stop soon. Haroula enjoy your day. Cailyn it's a cold morning so thanks for the hot coffee! Wishing everyone a happy day! wave
Posted by: Gilligan

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 06:13 AM

Hi,Good Morning Gerry,Cailyn wave

Gerry,how are you?..and yes hope the rain will stop soon,but now it's start pouring again duh
hope the flood not gettin worse

somebody said food testing think ..grin..aaahh..Ana..I envy you LOL
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 06:16 AM

wave Hi Natasha. I'm well. I'll keep praying for a sunny day for you! Take Care. catrub
Posted by: Gilligan

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 06:35 AM

*singing* OO mister Sun..Sun..Mister Golden Sun,Please shine down on meeeee * By Barney,The Pink T-Rex : rah lol

Thank You Gerry..xxx
Posted by: GBC

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 08:00 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Natasha, you're so funny! Glad you can keep a sense of hurmor with all that's going on around you. Hope the flooding stops soon.

Joe, enjoy your workday!

Ana, all that food testing sounds super. What did you decide on?

Cailyn, thanks for the coffee. It's cold outside!

Gerry, have a great day!

Haroula, enjoy whatever plans you have for the day.

Good day to all who enter! Got to get a move on here. Got a physical this morning. Be back later.
Posted by: Gilligan

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 08:40 AM

Hi Gail wave
what if life' without humor?..if I track down every news about the flood it will stress me out grin

Diner is done now is time for relax....
hold it..older daughter will goin out to hangout w/friends..
It's Friday nite,and am feeling very lazy
*counting how many chocolates candy I already eat*
well,Saturday's ahead,and am happy coz tomorrow I can go shopping(using hubby card,am not goin using mine while he's around devilchili )
that's kinda ...rejuvenating LOL
enjoy the rest of the day/night Ladies *smooches*

edit: eek eek..older daughter will going to Loewy's..and I know..there's a yummy Pavlova cake there..(* I wanna go..I wanna gooo... )

continue to Edit:
Just heard a wonderful news from friend of mine,one of our friend having a breast cancer and after year therapy,the cancer totally gone
another amazing news,a guy who already given his life because Aids,only 98% life,and he just waiting for the time,accidentally lived neighbour with this Balian Shaman,the Balian feel poor to him,he took this guy to his house and treat him well,miracle is happen..more less 4 months later..the Aids totally gone and that guy is healthy as a baby,the doctor can not explain,only the balian's knows..duh
my friend took her secretary who got lump inside her tummy, and hard like a rock..after she took her secretary to this Balian,for 3 days..the lump is shrinking and not hard anymore,is really shrinking eek
The balian healer only massage your hand with a little soil,and he can read your mind,but many people already feel his miracle and amazingly..he's not takin any charge for the local people,he do it just like it's that his job to use his gift
by the way the man who he save from the aids now initiative help the balian as his guest patients assistance,and he 's not looking for the money

be Thankful that there's a still a generous man like him being a healer smile
Posted by: Darlene

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 10:00 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! So very glad it's TGIF! Hope yours is fantastic!

wave Natasha! Good to see you!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 10:55 AM

Joe I hope today flies by!! Thanks for the chuckles.

Ana hope this is it and you can come out of the corner tomorrow!!

Gilligan......great to see you!!! Prayers that the rains stop and the floods go down!! Glad the power is back on for ya. That is cool story about the healer!!!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee. Hits the spot today. It didn't get as cold last night though. Went to bed and it was +3 supposedly dropping to a -10 but instead the temp rose during the night and it has been snowing the whole time. eek

Gerry have a nice day!

Haroula have a nice day! Enjoy the warm!

Gail good luck with the physical. Sending prayers!! hearts

Darlene may all go smoothly and have a nice day!

No plans till taxi time and then off to work the fish fry!!

Posted by: Gilligan

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 12:15 PM

Hi Nan ..Hi Darlene wave

Thank You Nan ...hope for sunny Saturday tomorrow
Darlene,good to see you too smile

Indonesian bedtime
Hi to everybody who will visit to diner
See you tomorrow wave
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 12:16 PM

Fantastic Friday ya'll wave

Boys are here but the day is sunny so hopefully son will take them out to the zoo or the park to run some energy off.

Our front hallway is full of loft bed wood so if Mother Nature cooperates, we will be staining and building beds this weekend.

The doggies have sent Skywalker to remind me that they haven't been fed yet. Off to do so puppy
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 02:59 PM

Night Gillgan sleep well.

lol L4l! Glad one of them was brave to let you know. Good luck with the beds!!

Time to check things out outdoors. The snow seems to be coming to a close so will take a good look at the roads. Don't need for anything to happen if we go out.

Have a lovely afternoon and evening all.

Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 03:29 PM

Enjoy your weekend Boomers. happydance
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 03:49 PM

Nan, we had snow yesterday though it didn't stick, which is a good thing around here! It also means it's cool enough to have a real wood fire happydance

Quest, big weekend plans?
Posted by: Yankee Clipper

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 04:34 PM

I have a new computer!!!!!! It's an ASUS, Windows 7 and really faaassst. It too0k me several hours to hook it up -good grief all those wires and clean and dust the desk andandand and with beating heart I turned it on and so far so good. Last Saturday the HP locked me out so I told him if you don't want me I don't want you but the weather has been so bad and cold that I finally went to Fry's yesterday and there was this Asus just sittin' there and smiling.

So homeward bound.

There's some disks here I don't understand but son can help me. Next, download malwarebytes and some Zuma.

Happy Friday all
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 07:31 PM

I just got out of the corner. I am only a few hours late. oops

I be back...must eat something.
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 07:33 PM

Wooo hooo Ana, congratulations!
Whooppeeee Quest, nothing like a new friend happydance May you guys spend many happy hours together. puppy
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 08:06 PM

SpaceQ, did you get a new pup? puppy

L4L, I am so miserable from sitting, I really wanted to run to the club to catch their hot yoga class but I needed food first. Now I was ready to go and realize I am home alone with no vehicle and can't get there. Oh well...tomorrow is another day.
Posted by: Gilligan

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 08:32 PM

Good Morning ...☀☀
Hi L4L,Ana,Nan,Yankee,SpaceQuest

Finished my breakfast and the sun is comin' up here smile
.....yaaay rah...my laundry will be save grin

Did we really having an opposite world time?? eek
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 09:30 PM

It's 8:30 PM Friday night here right now Natasha. I'm glad to see we have a tomorrow to look forward to! lol
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 10:19 PM

Taxi home and parked for the night. They sure did a bad job plowing today. But I just hit the 4wheel button and off I went!! lol Fish in the corner for all.

Ana glad you are finally out of the corner but sorry you ended up wheelless.

Gilligan glad the sun is shinning and hope it helps the flood waters to disappear.

Space have a lovely weekend.

WooHoo Yankee on the new computer!!

L4l I was wonderfing if you got any of the snow they were talking about. Too bad it didn't stick. The kids would have had fun!!

Posted by: Gilligan

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 11:07 PM

Ana...Saturday will be bright and cheerful smile
Nan* beside the flood issue..I really need Sun to dry out all my laundry grin what else could I ask for more LOL

Have a sweet Weekend guys wave
I'm off to the spa now and beauty parlour grin
Time to chillax ,hugs
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 11:24 PM

Night guys, just finished watching Fellowship of the Ring with the Gang by the fire. Now time to sleep. Very busy day tomorrow.

Sleep well all sleep
Posted by: niteowl07

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/18/13 11:49 PM

Wow ! Many happenings here today , busy place !

I just got word that an opening came up for the apartment I've been on a waiting list forever for ! Yippee ! Looks like a move down the street from my Mom will be coming up! So i know what I'll be doing the next few days - anyone have spare boxes ? LoL

Have a wonderful what's-left-of-your-evening everyone - I'm being summoned by HRH !
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/19/13 12:03 AM

Sweet Dreams L4L!

Niteowl, good to see you and I am so happy your apt opened up. WooHoo! I hope it's a smooth move.
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: I AM TGIF - 01/19/13 12:05 AM

Niteowl congrats on the opening! happydance Pack away!!!! grin lol

Well time to head for my pillow. Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!