Tuesday If You're In the Mood

Posted by: gymcandy1

Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 12:27 AM

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology" says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well" says the balloonist, "Everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."

The man below says, "You must work in business."

"I do" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes.

Says Jacob: 'We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?'

Pharmacist: 'Of course we do.'

Jacob: 'How about medicine for circulation?'

Pharmacist: 'All kinds.'

Jacob: 'Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? '

Pharmacist: 'Definitely.'

Jacob: 'How about Viagra?'

Pharmacist: 'Of course.'

Jacob: 'Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?'

Pharmacist: 'Yes, a large variety. The works.'

Jacob: 'What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?'

Pharmacist: 'Absolutely.'

Jacob: 'You sell wheelchairs and walkers?'

Pharmacist: 'All speeds and sizes.'

Jacob says to the pharmacist: 'We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.'

One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment.
"Gentlemen," he began, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we're about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!" With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.

Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. "Gentlemen," he said, "I am the world's greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world's greatest athlete should have a parachute!" With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.

Bill Gates rose and said, "Gentlemen, I am the world's smartest man. The world needs smart men. I think the world's smartest man should have a parachute, too." He grabbed one, and out he jumped. The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dali Lama spoke. "My son," he said, "I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you; you take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane."

The hippie smiled slowly and said, "Hey, don't worry, pop. The world's smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack."


10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".

9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.

8. The cat is on Valium.

7. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.

6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.

5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.

4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.

3. "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.

2. You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.

1. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.


10. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

9. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet

8. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

7. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

6. You're using your cell phone to dial up bumper stickers that says, "How's my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-CAKE."

5. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

4. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.

3. You're counting down the days until menopause.

2. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

1. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

Good morning everyboomie. wave

Who wouldn't be in the mood for a great Tuesday?


Pronounce "hood"

Pronounce "good"

Pronounce "mood"............. duh

I wish I understood English. crazy

I speak it, but I don't understand it. cool

"He admires their lives, and yet he lives a hermit's life." slapforehead

Phunee.... lol

I'm in the mood for some good food.

I'm also in the mood to go to bed. tired

Have a HAPPY day everyone.

It's ok to be moody.


Posted by: Haroula

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 02:21 AM

Good morning everyone,I hope you have a
great day wave
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 03:04 AM

Good morning Joe,Haroula,and all who stop by later waveWe got snow last night about 4in.and more on the way winterCoffee is ready I'll keep it hot,happy day wished for all shiver
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 04:54 AM

winter Good Morning Joe, Haroula and cailyn. Joe enjoy your moody Tuesday! Haroula how about a walk on the beach! Cailyn we just got a dusting of snow. I hope you don't get to much more. maybe this will be a gaming day for you. Enjoy your day everyone! winter
Posted by: venus

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 06:11 AM

Hello and goodbye. wave winter
Posted by: GBC

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 06:45 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, good day to you!

Haroula, how's your weather?

Cailyn, get out the shovel. Thanks for the coffee.

Gerry, is there more snow on the way for you also?

Venus, have a good day.

Connie, good moring when you arrive.

Not too much snow here but there's more coming by the end of the week. Think this is going to be a gaming day for me. winter
Posted by: connie

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 07:25 AM

Good morning everyone. A trip to Costco is on the agenda for today. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. I just talked to daughter-in-law. I guess the boys will be gone for another 2 to 3 weeks. They left in early Dec. for Pa. Danish, Blueberry Pancakes, Donuts, and Hot Chocolate in the NC. Crunchy Donut Holes for L4L. penguin
Posted by: niteowl07

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 09:55 AM

good morning , everyone ! hope you have a wonderful day , whatever you're doing !
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 09:58 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your Tuesday puts you in a mahvelous mood!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: flutist

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 10:34 AM

Good morning everyone.

Learning how to text. Yeah! Susie was excited about me getting a phone. We are going over there on Sunday and she wants me to bring it. Of course I'm going to.

It's cold here but not as cold as where Nan is. How is it in Chicago Ana?

My coffee cup is calling me and I am waiting for my phone to charge up so I can play with it some more.


Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 10:44 AM

Good morning boomies! I will be in the corner all day which is fine by me because I can't get a shoe on anyways except my crocs and it's too cold for crocs.

It's -2 and a windchill of -12. Thank you Nan kissy lol

Have a happy day everyone. Life is good!
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 11:26 AM

Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

I'm pretending it's Monday so I'll be stirring, stewing, and grilling the books, probably right up til time to leave for Bible Study tonight.

Ana, what did I miss? Did you fall?
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 11:27 AM

Joe who wouldn't like a Tuesday???? Hope you have some fun plans for today! Are you all unpacked now? Thanks for the laughs and have a nice day!

Haourla have a lovely day!

Cailyn at least it is some insulation for the ground in case this cold makes it's way there. Have a nice day!

Gerry a dusting is a waste of Mother Natures time. lol Have a nice day!

venus how was lunch yesterday?? May work be fun!!

Gail happy gaming!!! Just the right plans for the day.. I think I will too cause it is too cold for walking. lol

Connie that is good about the boys, right?? That means they have work!! Have fun shopping and thanks for the danish!

Niteowl have a fun day!!

Darlene may work fly and all go smoothly!!

Bets sounds like you are having fun with your new toy!! lol I have an IPhone 4s and love it!! Have a nice day!

Ana want to trade???? lol Was -20 this morning but is up to -14 now. Tomorrow we might actually get above zero. lol Hope the corner goes well and what a better thing to do when it is so cold out anyway. Prayers the toe gets better soonest for ya. hearts

Well off to see what's afoot, as Darlene would say.

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 11:44 AM

L4L, I'm pretty sure I broke my little toe yesterday. It's the tiny end and not the big joint so nothing that can be done except let it be to heal. I danced on it last night and clearly angered it but if I can possibly get my five finger shoes on tomorrow, I'll dance on it again. rotfl
Good luck cooking the books!

Nan, no thanks! lol That's not cold, that's insane! rotfl THat's incredible they found that guy alive. An angel surely was watching over him.
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 11:47 AM

Happy Tuesday to all! I'm still thinking it's Monday. Ugh.

Good news is that before 7 am I heard 'sidewalk work' noises across the way. I was right! They are back to work, finally after a whole week of nothing being done. Hope it goes smoothly from here. The residents whose sidewalks were 'framed in' over a week ago will be happy. They have had to park on my street and walk half a block through dirt and dangerous wood and metal stakes to get to their houses. Gonna be nice to have it all finished. Keeping fingers crossed no more delays.

RIP Stripey Kitty. She was a spayed female who wandered in over 15 years ago and spent her life happily hunting critters in my yard and the neighbors. Her friend, Spot, is about the same age, appeared the same time and also seems to be spayed. I'm sure someone dumped them and I provided warm outdoor accomodations and water and food every day. Poor Stripey passed away peacefully in her sleep, curled up in a nice kitty bed, beside Spot, her long time friend. Dunno if Spot will notice she's gone, but they were inseparable all these years. Stripey had been getting thinner for the past few weeks and nothing seemed wrong. I'm guessing old age, liver or kidney failure. Found out finally today, when I could actually touch her (feral to the max) that she still had Staples in her tummy from the spaying all those years ago! Never seemed to bother her, I had no idea, but always guessed about the spaying because no males ever bothered her or her friend. Friend Spot, has a scar (she's fairly friendly in the last 2 years finally) and I can pick her up. Ferals are strange ones, but they deserve love too. Off to animal control with poor Stripey in an hour when they open.

Feral count outside is now Six, and my old cat, Bubba inside all his life, makes a lucky Seven.

Off to watch a sidewalk dry.
Posted by: flutist

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 12:01 PM

Ana, how did you break a little toe? Ouch.
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 12:01 PM

Eeek Ana, so not fun. The boys have broken toes a couple of times. All the docs ever did was tape the broken one to the one next to it.

It's bright and sunny out there. Cold for us, but not for Minnesota I guess. We are 43 but there is a wind chill. Just to make us feel better the weatherman said it was in the minuses in Duluth rotfl

Sorta, sorry for your loss. I'll never understand dumping an animal.
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 01:16 PM

Sorta, so sorry for your loss. Even though she didn't live indoors with you I know how much you care for your outdoorsies. I am glad that you at least know she went peacefully in her sleep and not wondering if she is locked in someones shed. My heart goes out to you. hearts

Bets, 4 large dogs, small hallway, toe vs. corner of wall. sad Toe lost.

L4L, I have also broken my toes and I refuse to wait for hours in an emergency room to have them tape it and send you home. They don't even xray them because it doesn't matter either way.
Stay warm!

back to the corner...
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 03:26 PM

Brrr it is cold here. shiver
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 03:44 PM

Ana,I hope your toe will be better soon smile
Bed time for me sleep
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 06:34 PM

Aw Sorta HUGS!! My heart goes out to you! That is a tuff thing to go through. You have been so kind to them all.

lol L4l Duluth is my neighbor!!! Just a mile away across the bridge. Hope you have been having fun cooking the books!

Ana I think the Band was around him!!! Maybe the news will have an update on his condition tonight. Hope the toe gets better so you can get your dancing shoes on!! lol Stay warm. We actually made it to the plus side today....+1. happydance Tomorrow a little warmer.

Space stay warm and have a nice evening.

Night Haroula sleep well.

Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 08:51 PM

Hello everyone. wave

I had a great day. I spent most of it unpacking and organizing most of the remaining boxes. yes

I spent the afternoon time digging for points. happydance

I found a pocket full of chips and flakes, and one half of a very old point, as if they are not all very old. rolleyes

It was a gorgeous day weather-wise in the upper 50s.

Tomorrow is supposed to be 70 degrees. penguin

I'll try to blow some of these temps to Ana & Nan, thumbsup

Tomorrow is my last day off. It's been a nice 5 days. bravo

I need to try and get to bed early tonight and watch a movie, or fall asleep to a movie is more like it. lol

Have a nice night everybody. wave

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 09:04 PM

Congrats Joe! Sounds like a wonderful day. yay

Nan, there is no dancing on the calendar. I gave in to the pain, it's not happening. lol We made it to 8 degrees. Stay warm my friend.

Haroula, thank you! sweet dreams.

Space, warm thoughts. Are you feeling better?
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 09:21 PM


Home, fed, NCIS'd...

Beautiful day today! Sunny, warm, blue skies. Supposed to change end of week, with clouds and rain on Friday...

Alrighty, off to see what's afoot!
Posted by: Midge

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 10:12 PM

Sorta hugs going out to you. Your such a Sweetie.

Darlene I missed NCIS tonight but I can watch it tomorrow if I have the time. Ana how's the toe? Ouchie! Hope it feels beter tomorrow.

I've had a very busy day today and have a trip tomorrow to be with my Mom. She's being evaluated at about 1:00. My sister in San Fran will be in on it through a conference call and my other sister will be attending beside me. I've heard some good things about my Mom. Looking forward to the meeting. It's been way too long since I've been with my Mom. I miss her terribly.

Tired. See you tomorrow. Sleep well all.

Midgie sleep hearts
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/22/13 11:07 PM

Darlene, hope your Monday was good.

Midgie, enjoy your time with mom. I hope it goes well. hearts
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Tuesday If You're In the Mood - 01/23/13 12:29 AM

Midge may the Band be with you tomorrow as you travel to visit your mom. have a safe trip and a nice visit with your mom.

Time here to head for bed. Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams.