Posted by: gymcandy1

TGIF - 01/24/13 10:22 PM

"The human brain is like a TV set. When it goes blank, it's time to turn off the sound."
Pat Elphinstone

This is a letter from an Oklahoma mother to her son.

Dear Son:

I’m writing this slow, because I know you don’t read too fast. We don’t live where we did when you left. Your dad read that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved thirty miles away. I won’t be able to send you the address because that last family that lived here took the numbers with them so they would not have to change their address.

This new home has a washing machine. The first day I put four of your dad’s shirts in it and pulled the chain, and they started going around ok, but then they disappeared. I think I must find a new stopper for it. It only rained twice this week. The first time for four days, and the second time for three days.

The coat you wanted me to send you was too heavy, because of the heavy buttons on it, so I cut the buttons off and put them in the pocket.

We got a bill from funeral home. It said if we didn’t make the last payment on Grandma’s funeral, up she comes.

About your father, he has a lovely new job. He has over 500 men under him. He is cutting grass at the cemetery.

About your sister. She had a baby this morning. I’m not sure yet if she had a boy or a girl, so I’m not sure if you are a aunt or an uncle.

Your uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him. He burned for three days.

Also your aunt Vita May is sick and near death’s door. We’re all praying the Doctors can pull her through.

Four of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up. The driver got out. He rolled the window down and swam to safety. The passenger inside could not get his window down so he drowned, and the two in the back drowned when they could not get the tailgate to open.

They tried cremation on them, but could not get them to burn. The funeral was closed casket of course.

Not much more news at this time. Nothing much happening around here. Write more often.

Love Mom

P.S. I was going to send you some money, but the envelope was already sealed.

The Shoplifter...

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store.

"Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either.
What do you say I just buy the watch and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip.

The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend.
Can you show me something less expensive?"

According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria,
BC recently was faced with a unique problem.

A number of grade 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

A neatly dressed salesman stopped a man in the street and asked -
"Sir, would you like to buy a a bottle of this mouthwash for $200.00?"

Aghast, the man said, "are you NUTS?, that's robbery!"

The salesman seemed hurt and then tries again -
"Sir, since you are a bit irate, I'll sell it to you for 1/2 price at $100.00?

Again, the man replies bluntly - "you must be crazy pal, now go away!"

The salesman then reaches into his briefcase and pulls out 2 brownies and begins munching away on one of them. He tells the irate guy -
"Sir, please share one of my brownies since I have annoyed you so much".

Unwrapping the brownie, the guy takes a bite; suddenly, the guys spits it out and says:
"HEY," he snarled, "this brownie tastes like it's full of onions!!!"

"It is," replied the salesman. "Wanna buy some mouthwash?"

Good morning everyboomie. wave

It’s good to see you all this morning.

Well it would be good to see you all if I weren’t working. duh

Did I say I loved my job?

I lied. blush

I like it though.

Yeah that’s a lie too. rolleyes

I tolerate it though, with wild enthusiasm.

No that’s a lie too. whistle

I tolerate it with MILD enthusiasm……………….honestly & that’s no lie. thumbsup

Just talking about it makes me incredibly excited.

That’s a lie, but it does give me happy thoughts. snicker

I’m sorry that’s a lie too.

It makes me nauseas .

I’d better go throw up and get to bed. I have an early day, and I'm blank now. sick

Have a happy day everyone.

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: TGIF - 01/24/13 10:44 PM

Wouldn't it be nice if you could earn a living hunting for points? That'll give you sweet dreams. hearts

Have a happy day Joe and Zumba for me but I am going to try and get the dogs out. They really need it and the fresh air will certainly do me some good too. I'm going stir crazy.

Ana wave
Posted by: Haroula

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 02:15 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana and all who come in later wave
Have all a nice day smile
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 05:26 AM

wave Good Morning Joe, Ana, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe don't work to hard. Ana a walk in the fresh air always makes you feel alive! Haroula enjoy your day. Coffee is ready Cailyn. I hope your hand feels better. Happy Day wished for all! wave
Posted by: GBC

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 06:53 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, have a good day!

Ana, glad you're getting the chance to enjoy the outdoors with the dogs.

Haroula, have a gre4at day.

Cailyn, hope all is well with you.

Gerry, thanks for the coffee. Have a good one.

Connie, enjoy your day when you come in.

Midgie,have a good work day.

Venus, enjoy your workday also.

Nan, how's your weather been? How's little Sassy doing?

To all who enter I'm hoping it's a great day for all! Still bitter cold here. Hoping for a warm-up soon.
Posted by: connie

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 07:22 AM

Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on the agenda for today yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Great TGIF. Danish, Biscuits and Sausage Gravy, and Hot Chocolate in the NC. Biscuit bottoms for L4L. penguin
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 09:50 AM

Good morning everybody. wave

I'm doing a little surfing about while waiting for work time.

The weather changed, so we're expecting to be 10 degrees cooler than yesterday, at least. yes

It's dark and cloudy but it's gonna be a super day anyway. penguin

I hope you all enjoy yours. thumbsup

Posted by: Darlene

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 10:03 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your work day goes easy peasy!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 11:13 AM

Fantastic Friday ya'll puppy

Hubby is playing golf for a going away for someone from the office today. We are in the 50's but a bit overcast.

The boys came yesterday so son has been up for awhile this morning. He is going to see if he can get the Cully to take a nap with him. He is so not a morning person.

I'm not sure what's on the agenda today. I'll have to find something for dinner though. Thinking thinking.

Thanks Connie for the biscuit bottoms....nice and crunchy!

Daughter called and said her Arch is fractured but thankfully, no ligaments have been ripped off so no surgery.

Back later wave
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 11:18 AM

Joe I hope work flies and goes well. Thanks for the laughs. Only one more after today!

Ana do be careful out there in that new snow. I am sure that both you and the dogs are more then ready for a nice run in the woods. Enjoy! Hope the project is moving along like you would like it to!!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry have a nice walk, be careful out there and a nice day!

Gail it has been freezing here but last night it warmed up and snowed! In fact it is still snowing. Sassy likes the snow but not all those -teens we have had. Hope all is going well for you!! HUGS!

Connie have a fun day what ever you do! Thanks for the danish!

Darlene may work fly and everything go smoothly!! The weekend is upon us again!!

No plans till taxi time and then off to work the fish fry!

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 11:54 AM

After 355 days of no snow over an inch Chicago finally got 1.1 inches last night. rotfl Unbelievable! Mind you areas around us have had 6+ inches but not officially in Chicago at O'Hare. In my lifetime I never recall such snowless winters.

Nan, it'll be fun today because I can follow the animal prints in the snow if they are out and about.
I am taking them out after lunch.

Gail, hope you are feeling well.

I wonder how Sharon is doing. hearts

be back
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 02:40 PM

Nan, that is too funny to see "it warmed up and snowed."

Wow, Ana, that is a long time without snow. How is your toe?

The doggies and I went for a nice 2 mile walk. It's in the 70's, but windy windy windy. So glad I had earphones in. Now time to rehydrate. puppy
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 03:47 PM

L4L, my toe is not ready to go dancing but I was able to get it in my clunky snow boots. yay I'm glad you got out for a nice walk today.

We had a great couple miles through the woods. The only prints were bunny and squirrel and a couple sets of small doe prints. Not much activity out there today.

Back in the corner for me....
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 03:56 PM

Welcome to the weekend Boomers. happydance
Posted by: Haroula

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 04:06 PM

sleep wave
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 04:11 PM

Ana glad the boots went on. You only got an inch??? Wow and to of looked at the radar this morning I would of thought you got six. lol Must have evaporated before it hit the ground. duh

Glad you and thedogs have been out and had a nice run through the woods. I'll win the lottery and move next store then we can run together. Course there would go the neighborhood for sure. lol

L4l that is winter up here. When it drops below zero it usually won't snow but when it warms up it brings in the snow. Don't know why. They are saying more deepfreeze by Thursday. sad We get snow and then the temp drops so you can't enjoy it. lol

Space welcome to the weekend!!! Hope you have a great one!!

Well time to get ready and take the taxi out and then work the fish fry!! Have a wonderful afternoon and evening all.

Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 04:27 PM

Spent most of my morning at the Dentist. Ugh! Last night I managed to somehow catch the lower tip of my front tooth (which has mega bonding on it) with the top of a bottom tooth. Have no idea how, neither did the dentist. We laughed a lot over that one. So he ground, bonded, smoothed and smoothed and it's much better. At least my front teeth are the same length now. Was quite a sight overnight.

AND I can't believe it but it's realllly raining. Almost constant with huge drops. Wow. Streets building up major puddles at the sides and stupid people driving there deliberately to try to splash people walking by. Grrrrr.

So now to finally get to eat something. Dentist was running behind so my appointment was an hour after the scheduled time. He's a nice guy. Been with him since I was about 15! What fun.
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 04:50 PM

Ana, I'll move up there too and we can all go run our dogs in the woods. Are ticks a problem?

Nan, hubby assures that it gets too cold to snow, but that just seems silly to me. rotfl Have fun and be safe!

Just vacuumed. Son took the kids to the park so I'm going to have a nice cuppa tea and recover so I can make tacos for the Per. wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 05:05 PM

The house next door is for sale so come on over! It's my identical house, just flipped. Ticks are an issue in the woods in the summer but that's when I take them to the other preserves to run and swim and ticks are not an issue there. It's very dog, hike and bike friendly here with lots of land designated for it. That is one reason I don't want to leave here.
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 07:15 PM

Okay, I'm coming too, at least part time. I know my dogs like snow!!! Off and running again.... wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 07:22 PM

So if we all chip in we can buy it as a dog friendly communal GB visiting home. lol How fun!
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 07:34 PM

That is such a great idea. wave
Posted by: Midge

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 08:42 PM

Egads! I didn't post anything in the diner today. Sorry guys. I worked this morning and then came home and cleaned my apartment and did my laundry. Actually I got a lot done today. My apartment is spiffy clean.

I'm with L4L. I think that's a great idea also. yay

Midgie hearts
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 08:54 PM

Well if you all figure out how to do it, I'm in! I hate losing neighbors because you never know who will move in. We could turn into a time share. lol It has 4 bedrooms.

Ana wave
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 09:15 PM

So to de-stress after today's fun tooth fiasco, and getting creative with outdoorsie feeding methods to avoid the rain, I decided to go to the thrift store.

I knew I should (I follow my hunches) because there on a top shelf was an amber crystal butterfly, all sparkly and pretty. I picked it up, well sorta. Actually I grabbed for it, fumbled and dropped it! Lucky for me I have a nice well-fed tummy and it hit the tummy and bounced into the next shelf down. I had visions of shards of glass going everywhere if it had hit the cement floor.

So I manage to carefully retrieve it and it has NO price. They won't sell stuff with no tags. No exceptions. Soooo I look on the top shelf where it had been and lo and behold, there is a square red box clearly labeled "Baccarat"! So I look more closely at the butterfly and indeed it has a label of Baccarat and engraving and signatures on the bottom. Oh boy!

Now for the good part. It's marked 1.99. Yep, one dollar and 99 cents which with my senior discount comes out to 1.80. Had to read it a million times. Run to checkout and am approached by a savvy shopper who is always around and who buys pretty stuff for internet sales. He zoomed in on me, spotted the box from across the room. He's GOOD. Asked casually what I had and I proceeded to show him the butterfly and tell him the price. We both exchanged knowing glances because the check out girl asked, "is it expensive"? I quickly said, it's very pretty and people like to collect them. Good avoidance there.

So I get home, check the prices on line and find it's selling for 100 bucks from the Baccarat company and at department stores and for a low of 88 (plus tax and mega shipping) on ebay.

I think I got a pretty good deal on this one. Pretty little ornamental crystal butterfly and it's called the Lucky Butterfly. Awwww. Maybe it will bring me mega good luck! thumbsup
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 09:55 PM

Sorta, that is a great story.

We had our normal taco dinner...Per's favorite and tonight was the only possible because we will be busy all weekend.

After dinner, Cully helped me feed the dogs. He is so cute...Puts the food down and tells the dogs..."Lil Soot, no snacking!" "Keoki, no snacking!" etc til they all have their food. Then he said prayer with them and they all eat on "Amen."

We were planning a family movie, but my back is waaaaay too mouthy for that. Gonna go lie down and put the heating pad on it I think.

Sleep well all sleep
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: TGIF - 01/25/13 10:05 PM

Taxi home and parked for the night. Was kind slow but steady at the fish fry tonight. Course the new fallin snow might have had something to do with that. duh Time now to relax.

Sorta that was a very good deal!!! Sounds pretty too. Glad the dentist part is over for now!!

Ana wonder if that would work. Cool idea!!!

L4l when the temp is that cold the air is sooooo dry that what ever moisture fell would evaporate before it hits the ground. Like throwing a glass of water in the air when it is below zero and it instantly vaporizes. Kind of a cool thing to do. lol

Midge sounds like you got lots done today though!!