Re: Tuesday's

Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 12:05 AM

Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Susan Ertz, Anger in the Sky
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Marriage Secrets

My wife and I have the secrets to making a marriage last...

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida, mine is in NY.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!", so I bought her an electric chair.

My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. When I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake."

My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off...

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Makes You Go Hmmm

Some things that make you go hmmm....


1. Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?

2. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

3. Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?

4. Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

5. How do a fool and his money GET together?

6. Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?

7. How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?

8. If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?

9. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

10. If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?

11. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

12. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

13. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

14. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?

15. Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?

16. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

17. If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

18. What are Preparation A through Preparation G?

19. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

20. Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?

21. How come there aren't B batteries?

22. If the post office has machines that can sort snail mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they give it to a little old man on a bike to deliver?

23. How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?

24. Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?

25. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

26. How is it possible to have a civil war?

27. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

28. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

29. If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?

30. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

31. If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

32. Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?

33. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

34. How do you know that honesty is the best policy until you have tried some of the others?

35. How do you throw away a garbage can?

36. How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?

37. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

38. Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

39. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

40. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

41. What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?

42. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

43. Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?

44. Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?

45. Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?

46. Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

47. Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?

48. What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about?

49. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

50. What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. wave

I am the ghost of diners past. Oooooo scared

Actually that ghost died.

A strong Oklahoma wind blew him away like a puff of smoke. sherlock

That means no Ghost Toasties for breakfast in the diner, sorry. duh

Ok with me. Those things always haunt me after I eat them anyway. rolleyes

I'd better turn in before hunger pains start to haunt me. smirk

Eating late at night will ruin my girlish figure. rah

Have a happy day everyone. wink

joe
Posted by: niteowl07

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 12:55 AM

joe ,you make me chuckle -have a wonderful day !

hot coffee and cinnamon french toast in the corner !
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 02:22 AM

Good morning Joe,niteowl,and all who are lucky to be still sleeping sleep waveHaven't been sleping the last few nights tiredSo I'll put the coffee on and keep it fresh!Have a great day everyone puppy
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 02:31 AM

Good morning Joe,niteowl,Sue and all,have a wonderful day wave
Posted by: aserID

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 03:28 AM

Morning Joe! wave
Morning niteowl! wave
Morning Sue! wave

Joe, I look forward to
your jokes everyday!

Niteowl, I'm on my way
to Games, Hints and
Help for help with one
of my games. May I take
a cup of your coffee with
me?

Sue, once in awhile I
have the same problem
you have -- that's why
I'm here!! But, don't
worry -- we'll catch
up with our sleep
eventually!

Well, I'm on my way now.
Take care, sweethearts,
and enjoy your day!

Aser rah

P.S. And a good morning
to you, too,
Haroula!
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 05:52 AM

wave Good Morning Joe, niteowl, Cailyn, Haroula and aser. Hope you all enjoy your day. wave
Posted by: connie

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 07:49 AM

Good morning everyone. Gail, prayers your last treatment went well with little to no side effects. We bought new Computer chairs yesterday. They will be delivered later this week. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Danish, Cinnamon Buns, Waffles, and Hot Chocolate in the NC. penguin
Posted by: GBC

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 08:29 AM

Good Mornuing Boomers

Joe, funny!

Niteowl, have a great day!

Haroula, happy day to you!

aser, nice to see you .

Cailyn, sorry you're not sleeping well. Hope you feel refreshed anyway.

Gerry, Is some of your snow melting yet? It's gotten somewhat warmer here.

Connie, thanks for the prayers. Feeling okay today. Ready for Danish,

To all who come in after me I'm wishing a wonderful day! Trip to the hospital today for my last after-shot. Then stopping a K Mart.
Posted by: venus

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 09:17 AM

lol Have a great day, Joe.

Thanks for the delicious food, niteowl. grin

Sorry you haven't been sleeping, Cailyn. frown Hope you are able to, soon!

Enjoy your day, Haroula.

Have a good day, aserID.

Enjoy your day as well, Gerry.

Enjoy your new computer chairs, Connie. thumbsup

Hope your hospital trip goes well and is over with soon, Gail! Enjoy your shopping.

I'm off today. No plans, so I think I'll find a game to play. I'm really tempted to start TLJ and Dreamfall again in honor of the Kickstarter. grin Will have to see.

Have a terrific Tuesday, everyone. winter
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 09:53 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Have a happy day as well!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 11:30 AM

Good morning everyone. wave

We woke up to rain this morning and it's still coming down, and very cold outside. penguin

I'm having trouble with the neighbor's dogs because Baby is in heat and the young male dog that my neighbors own keeps coming over. They are out there today. Him and the neighbors female dog won't go back home.

Yesterday he was here, and when I let Baby out she followed him back to their house which is a half a mile away, and across the road. I was mad enough to severely beat that dog and Baby too, but he's really just a big pup. mad

We are taking Baby to be neutered tomorrow. yes

Don't need any puppies. shame

With the rain I won't be doing much today, although I need to go to Walmart and stock up.

I hope everyone has a super day.

joe
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 11:51 AM

Terrific Tuesday ya'll puppy

Rain rain rain...mud mud mud!

Tis ok. I will just pretend it's Monday and pay bills and cook books and stay in. wave
Posted by: Yankee Clipper

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 12:28 PM

Good you're having Baby spayed. Too many ferals and strays and they just get kicked aound. Most my pets have been strays who meandered onto my back porch and the kits and pups stopped here.

Made coffee and was really heavy of the hand -yup, blitzkrieg coffee. However I needed it today because last night I watched all those super funny TV shows on youtube. Like fawlty towers, abfab, and carol burnett. My my the memories and how we would laugh and they are still funny. And in no time it was 12:30.

Cold,dark,drizzly. Gray lizard day -if it were warm it would be ideal. Buttercup is growling at the new cat. Things are beginning to settle a bit but still a way to go.

There was a picce of the new PS4 on the web -it's sensationalfabulousterrific- I need one hope it's out soon. Rumored the 20th maybe or 28th the announcement as to the release date. Now just Killzone 4 announcement and then I'll be happy.

It's a good gaming Tuesday all
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 12:54 PM

Well Joe I hope it's not too late to spayed!! Enjoy the day off and thanks for the chuckles.

niteowl thanks for the french toast! Yummmuy!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee. Hope you can catch a nap!

Aser hope they were able to help you with your game.

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry is the snow melting any?? Have a lovely day and be careful out walking.

Gail good luck with the "after shot"!! Have fun shopping.

venus enjoy the nice gaming day!! I enjoyed those two games!

Connie enjoy the new chairs!! Thanks for the danish and have a lovely day!

Darlene hope everything goes smoothly today!

L4l have fun with the books. At least the rain is helping with the drout!

Oh Yankee that's some nice things to look forward to!! Have a lovely day!

wave
Nan
Posted by: Midge

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 02:06 PM

Hi guys. I'm home for now doing laundry and cleaning. I have to work at 5:00 so I have a few hours left. I hope you're all having a good day. See you after work.

Midgie hearts
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 04:12 PM


Good afternoon Boomers. smile
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 04:20 PM

Afternoon Space Quest wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 07:40 PM

Good evening boomies! I have had a non-stop day of organizing my hall closets and a few kitchen cabinets. I threw away a ton of stuff and it felt great to finally get it done. yay In between I spent the day cooking to stock the freezer again. I love having a very productive day.

How is everyone? I hope you all are having a wonderful day. I'll be in the corner shortly so I have to hustle to get everything done.
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 09:22 PM

Good night Boomers. wave
Posted by: Midge

Re: Tuesday's - 02/12/13 09:31 PM

Night SQFan. Hey Ana wave Sounds like you had a very productive day. I love it when I have one, like when I moved. I threw out a ton of stuff. But now I'm getting ready to paint Bob. I have a great picture of him. Rob is gonna find me an easel because we sold the one I had. I'm so sorry I did that. Bob made it for me. When I was in my house before I moved to the South Shore I sold a few things I wish I hadn't. My easel was one of them. Also my organ. Man I miss it. My Mom gave me her keyboard but it's just not the same. Someday i'll search for another one.

Have a good rest of the night all. I'm just gonna put my feet up and relax. Tomorrow I have the day off. YIPPEE! rah

Midgie hearts