Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah

Posted by: gymcandy1

Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 12:54 AM

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault.
Henry Kissinger (1923 - )
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Kid in the Dark
This guy walks into a bar and sees a lady sitting by herself. He goes over and buys her and drink and they chat a while and he leaves with her to go to her place. They are in the middle of having a good time when he hears a noise at the door and she says "It's my husband home for lunch... quick, hide in the closet!" So he does.

He's standing in the closet when he hears this small voice... "Gee, it's dark in here". He looks around trying to find out where it came from when he hears it again... "Gee, it's dark in here..."

He quickly whispers "Shhhh, who are you?"

The little voice says "That's my mommy and daddy out there, gee, it's dark in here, I'm scared, I'm gonna scream."

The man whispers back "No, PLEASE don't scream. I'll give you five dollars if you don't scream."

The little boy answers "Gee, it's dark in here, I'm pretty scared, I'm gonna scream..."

"I'll give you ten dollars if you don't scream."

"Gee, it's dark in here, I'm REALLY scared, I'm gonna scream..."

The guy says "Look kid, here's FIFTY dollars, it's all I have, don't scream."

"Ok." the kid whispers quietly.

So the guy waits in the closet till he hears the husband finish lunch and as soon as he hears the door close he runs out of the closet and jumps out the window and runs down the street. Later that afternoon, the lady is out shopping with her son at the mall when he sees a bike in the toy store window and says to his mom "Gee, I'd REALLY like that bike."

"Sorry, I can't afford to buy you a bike."

The kid says, "That's ok, I can buy it myself, I have fifty dollars."

She pulls him aside and asks him "WHERE did you get fifty dollars?"

"I'll never tell."

"You BETTER tell me where you got that money."

"I'll never tell."

"You must have done something bad to get that money. I'm taking you to church and you can tell the priest how you got that money in confession." So she does.

The little boy is in the confessional and the door closes and he says "Gee, it's dark in here..."

And the priest answers "Now let's not start THAT again I'm out of money!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiots Everywhere

IDIOTS AT WORK...

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.



ADVICE FOR IDIOTS...
An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."



IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD...
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

One neighbor lady called the police to complain vehemently about another neighbor's dog digging in her husband's garden. After several calls the police finally came to respond, and did indeed find the neighbor's dog digging in the man's garden.......digging up the man's pot.

The husband, not the dog, was arrested.



IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE...
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce. "He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.



IDIOTS IN THE NEWS...
Buffalo Channel 4 News on October 20th,1999 informed its captivated audience that when selling their computer, the best way to erase the files on your computers hard drive is by drilling a hole in the drive its self! "By drilling a hole in the drive its self, you make it impossible for the new owner to get your files." No kidding, idiot!



IDIOT SIGHTINGS...
Sighting #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? "He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."

Sighting #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

Sighting #3: At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager spoke up and said, "this is fun. We should have lunch like this more often." Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.

Sighting #4: I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn on.

Sighting #5: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open." Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" "I know," answered the young man.- "I already got that side."

Sighting #6: I work in a hospital and one day the doctor and I were asking a pregnant lady some questions upon admission to the maternity ward. When we asked her who we should call in case of an emergency, she stated "911".

Sighting #7: My daughter was going over to the neighbors house to visit but didn't want to miss a call from her boyfriend so she took the cordless phone with her. While at the neighbors she wanted to check back at home to see if her younger brother was okay. My daughter then picked up the neighbors phone and dialed our number. While waiting for someone to answer the phone at home, the phone she brought over with her began to ring. She immediately hung up the neighbors phone and answered our phone. There was no one there. She wanted to know who it was who called so she used our phone to call our house. The line was busy. Getting very frustrated she left the neighbors to go home and see who was on the phone. No one was on the phone. My daughter could not figure out what was going on until someone explained it to her.

Sighting #8: As systems manager of an answering service a few years back I had the pleasure of working with an especially ignorant doctor. Our system was trying to fax her messages to her place of business when a message came back informing us her fax was out of paper. When I called her office and told her about this she replied, "Oh, I'm all out of bond paper. Could you fax me some?" I'm right on it, Babe.

Sighting #9: I was in McDonalds one time when the lady in front of me ordered a cheeseburger and requested no cheese. Now I don't know about you but that sounds like a hamburger to me.

Sighting #10: Many years ago I worked in a delicatessen. The assistant manager had burnt something in the oven and smoke was pouring from the kitchen area. When the store manager came by and asked why she hadn't opened the emergency fire exit door to allow the smoke to go outside she said, "I thought about it but I couldn't find the key!"

Sighting #11: I was sitting at my University bar with some friends the other day when we overheard a man talking on his mobile phone. He was saying that he wanted to "buy, buy, buy" some shares and "sell, sell, sell" some shares. Unfortunately for him, his mobile phone actually began to ring!!! The laughter in the bar was heard for miles!! Now that's what I call an IDIOT!

Sighting #12: A friend of mine and I were on a little road trip with his wife driving. Everything was pretty quiet when she turned to us and asked, "If you are driving 70mph, about how far would you go in an hour?" Oh yeah, she's a smart one.

Sighting #13: Calling the telecommunication company to inform them my phone didn't work and that when I picked up the receiver its completely dead, the technician said from the other end "Are you calling from the number of the phone that does not work?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie. wave

I'm coming to you live from the land of Okel.

I'm trying to lay low, and blend in with all the Okel yokels. zombie

The concern is that I'm way too successful at it. razz

I think I would be very happy if they kicked me out of this place and barred me from returning. happydance

Naa I couldn't do that.

I'm sure I would miss........... think something about this place.

think It'll come to me.

Have a wonderfully happy day everyone.

joe
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 02:07 AM

Good morning,have all a happy day happydance wave
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 03:34 AM

Good morning Joe,Haroula waveNan glad you got your problem with Big Fish solved,wish mine was that easy but I still can't download anything on any computer in my house confusedI do have Comcast coming out tomorrow to check the outside wires,since all this started when I lost power during the blizzard.Coffee is ready I'll keep it hot have a great dat all puppy
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 04:57 AM

Good Morning Joe, Haroula, Cailyn and all who come in later. It's going to be another cold rainy day. Nice day for gaming! Wishing a happy day for everyone. monky
Posted by: connie

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 07:24 AM

Good morning everyone. Cailyn, I hope they can fix your download problem. Today is hubby's Birthday. I'm taking him out to lunch. He hasn't picked the place yet. Last week was #2 son's, grandson's, and DIL's, Birthday. To all here and all who follow, have a Super Thursday. Danish, Cinnamon Buns, Waffles, and Hot chcolatew in the NC. penguin
Posted by: GBC

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 08:01 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, have a wonderful day.

Haroula, happy day to you!

Cailyn, sure hope Comcast is the problem and can fix your downloading.

Gerry, happy gaming!

Connie, Happy birthday to your hubby. Hope he picks a great place to eat lunch!

Ana, did you get enough snow yet?

To all who come in today I'm wishing a super good one.
Posted by: venus

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 09:28 AM

Have a terrific Thursday, Joe.

Have a happy day as well, Haroula.

Cailyn, that's too bad. frown Hope you are able to get the problem fixed soon so you can start downloading again.

That does sound like a perfect day for gaming, Gerry. thumbsup Have fun!

birthday to your hubby, Connie. Have fun at lunch!

Hope you have a fantastic Thursday, Gail.

I'm off again. Very few work days this week. frown Not that I mind the extra days off, but I need the hours.

At least today I will be here for the maintenance people. When we signed our lease yesterday, we mentioned that the sink faucet keeps dripping and the blinds in the bathroom need to be repaired. Minor things that they check up on, which is nice of them. yes

So I will use this opportunity to game, since I have to be here anyway. grin

Hope everyone has a great Thursday. winter
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 11:08 AM

Thumping Good Thursday ya'll puppy

I see sun and blue skies, but it is brrrrry outside and will be dropping the rest of the week.

Not sure what the day will bring, but it will bring something I'm sure. wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 03:06 PM

Good afternoon boomies! I thought I stopped in this morning but I see I missed it. lol I am finishing up my WT and I need to make a huge grocery run as soon as I finish.

My pups were very hyper today so I took them for a walk in the woods. It was alive with wildlife today and we saw 2 beavers, a coyote and 4 deer. A banner day but no pictures to show for it because I left my dogs beeper remote at home and I had no way to call them back to me quietly. First priority is to get them at my side so they don't scuffle with the wildlife and then I get my pictures. I had to verbally call them today which caused the animals to bolt. :sads:

Are we having fun yet? It's almost Friday!
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 03:14 PM

Hi Boomies! Raining and grey here but not as cold. Supposed to be quite nice tomorrow...we will see! Hubby is with friend building wheelchair ramp at his Mum's house. She is progressing well and now wants to at least spend some time there as it is right next door to her daughter's where she is staying. Impatiently awaiting my new tablet which is supposed to arrive later today and gaming a bit. Happy Gaming everyone!! wave
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 03:29 PM

Good afternoon Boomers. wave
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 03:55 PM

What a beautiful day!! Well not really but just sounded good. lol

Joe thanks for the laughs. Off tomorrow???

Haroula hope you had a lovely day!

Cailyn I hope they can find the problem for you. My game manager would not open so I took my internet security ALL out and reinstalled it from the disc and that worked to fix the problem for me.

Gerry hope your day was fun.

Connie Happy Birthday to hubby and hope it was a lovely and delish lunch!! Thanks for the danish!

venus I hope maintanence was there bright and early and all is fixed. Happy gaming.

Gail hope your day was lovely!! I spent the morning at the dentist as he tried to pull a tooth that decided that it don't want out. Still numb and probably a good thing. lol

Ana glad you are almost finished!! Happy grocery shopping!!! Isn't that how it goes.....when there are things to photo the camera isn't at hand. Sorry you missed some nice pictures.

L4l hope you found something fun to do!!

Lotus May hubby's new project go well. Happy gaming!!

wave
Nan
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 04:34 PM

Road work news: Yesterday they hit a 'cable' of some type and work stopped on grading the road for the new asphalt. SDGE (our electric/gas) company and COX cable were both out there trying to figure out WHAT the heck the cable was. They used every strange device I've ever seen. So This morning, no work going on but lots of 'vehicles'. Now we have about 4 or 5 SDGE vehicles over there and 4 guys just crossed over to my side and dug up the road and looked in a hole that was capped over, near the streetlight one door down from me. I think they may have figured out the cable might be from the side street to our side street light. Very interesting. Hope they figure it out soon so road work can continue!

Sister, who is visiting her daughter in Hemet CA (down from WA)and decided to bail her and her hubby out of a foreclosure by buying a house nearby and letting them live in that one and trusting them to pay the new mortgage and all that goes with it, finally closed escrow yesterday. Things are going well. Now comes the moving out of the old foreclosed house into the new one. Hope my sister's 'investment' doesn't go belly up with the kids once again having a financial mess. Crossing fingers, toes, and eyes.
There is a long history of non-payment of obligations there. Not only did they have to short sell their current house, they also declared bankrupcy (the regular kind), so they are now debt freeeeee. Maybe this time responsibility will kick in and it will all be good.
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 05:55 PM

Oh my gosh, son has gone to work and the boys are in high gear.

Little Cully was so funny last night. Dad put him to bed upstairs. Soot and I were playing on the computer. Cully decided to come down to his dad's room but knew he would get in trouble if we saw him. So he was creeping behind us holding up his Capt America shield to hide behind. rotfl

Soot is in the backyard trying to figure out where the neighbor dogs are coming over. They had to get rid of their 2nd male because he and Jesse were fighting over Molly, the female. So I was less than thrilled when son came out of his room and said, "Mom, there is a strange dog in the backyard." Yep, both Molly and Jesse were in the yard with my guys. I'm not sure what we can do, but since they apparently won't do anything, we are going to have to. What if the 2 legged boys had been back there? Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Edit: Ok, both boys have tummy's full of taco's followed by ice cream. Soot bathed 'em while I did dishes and fed my monkeys. Time to pop the wee ones into bed and then relax and relish the quiet!
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 08:47 PM

Awwwwww. Just watched a mommy seal give birth to the baby. First up close and personal birth I've seen on the seal cam. Wow. Amazing stuff. Glad they have that camera now. Makes for fun watching.

Road project maybe back on track. Our power guys left after an all day dig and whatever else they did. Hopefully they will asphalt tomorrow or Monday and it will all be over. Can hardly wait. That dust is evil.
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 09:43 PM

That is awesome Sorta! Glad that everyone left the mama seal alone. I bet you will be very happy to get the sidewalk done too!

L4L, I hope that you can find a way to keep the dogs on their own side. My dogs would for sure attack a strange dog on their turf.
Posted by: Midge

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 09:57 PM

Just reading some of the posts. Lots been happening here. I worked a split shift today again. Very busy. But now I'm home and watching a movie called Battleship. I'm lovin it.

Hope you all had a good day. Sorta that's awesome. I wish you could share that seal cam.

I have to get to bed. Early work shift in the morning. Have a good night all.

Midgie hearts
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 10:28 PM

wave

Home, fed, and watching continuing news of a fire outside the city of Riverside, about 30 miles from us, very close to homes. Hope they get it under control soon!
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 10:30 PM

Good night Boomers. sleep
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 10:39 PM

Night all...sleepy time for me. Sleep well sleep
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 10:43 PM

Midgie, sweet dreams. hearts

Darlene, I hope they get it under control quivkly also. How scary!

SpaceQ, it's Friday tomorrow! yay

L4L, sweet dreams.
Posted by: niteowl07

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 10:56 PM

woot! i'm all moved ,and my internet got hooked up today ! i'm surrounded by boxes, but melodee was happy she "found" all our stuff lol she spent the day sitting in every window looking out like the nosy parker she is ,and is now as tired as me.

catch everyone tomorrow ,sleep tight !
catrub sleep
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 11:15 PM

yay YOu must be relieved! Good to see you Niteowl.
Posted by: niteowl07

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 02/28/13 11:28 PM

yes ,melodee and i are both glad the move is complete. and i can walk to mom 's and my sister's house in 3 minutes ,so mom is very happy !

Mom also got her very first dog ! it's a rescue chihuahua ,that was taken starving and with a broken leg,along with 3 other dogs.no one wanted this little guy ,but he's perfect for mom , and i already see a big improvement in him in just 2 days. flowers

very glad to see evelyne is back ,and that there was other good news as well.

i will be tackling the kitchen area here after grocery shopping , so i'll see you all when i run out of steam lol
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 03/01/13 12:02 AM

I am always happy to hear of a rescue finding a forever home. woot
You are a late night shopper too, I just got done a little while ago. Tomorrow is a massive cooking day.

Ana wave
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Thursday Yeah Yeah Yeah - 03/01/13 12:18 AM

Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams.

sleep
Nan