Weekend Part 1

Posted by: gymcandy1

Weekend Part 1 - 03/01/13 09:07 PM

It is not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one's thoughts. It saves one having to bother anyone else with them.
Isabel Colegate

Male Wedding Plans

What would it be like if men were put in charge of organizing weddings?

There would be a "Rehearsal Dinner Kegger" until the cops showed up.

Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops.

They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not.

Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors.

June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs.

Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that "forsaking all others" part.

The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up '73 Charger or some other Mopar with racing tires and flame designs on the side of the car. Better yet, a Harley!

Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really old) would get punched in the head.

Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man".

There would be "Tailgate Receptions".

Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events at half-time or between innings.

Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.

Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the bachelor party. The cost of strippers and liquor really do add up.

Men wouldn't ask, "Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy or the wine colored napkins?" They'd just grab extras from their local pub, tavern or donut store.

Favors would be matchbooks and cigars. Better yet, free drink passes at the local lounge.

The bride's dress would show cleavage, her navel, and be form-fitted to her arse.

Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog roast or buckets of chicken, pizza and plenty of b-b-q.

No one would bother with that "Veil Routine". But they would insist that the garter be as high up on her leg as it could go.

The bridal bouquet would be recycled from a previous funeral/wedding (what's the difference) or something.

Invitations would read as follows...

Tom (Dick or Harry) is getting the old ball and chain...
He's getting married. He either:
A) Knocked her up
B) Couldn't get a different roommate or
C) Caved in to her ultimatum...
Please meet the woman who will cook and clean for him. For the rest of his life at Soldier Field Stadium. On the 50 Yard Line At Half-time during Sunday's Game. Please join us at the Moonlight Lounge after the game For Beer, Nachos and Pizza.
Oh yeah... BYOB!

Marketing Gone Bad

It's always good to check into the meaning of your slogans and brands before you start selling in foreign countries, as these companies learned a bit too late...

1. The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted
them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the
Spanish translation read "Are you lactating?"

2. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as
"Suffer from diarrhea".

3. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an
American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux".

4. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to
find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the
"manure stick".

5. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same
packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the label. Later they learned
that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside,
since many people can't read.

6. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a
notorious porno magazine.

7. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market
which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the
shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).

10. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a tender
chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a
chicken affectionate".

11. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed
to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the
company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so
the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant".

Good morning everyboomie. wave

It's Good Morning Gone Bad. razz

Everybody's working for the weekend, and I'm working ON the weekend. shocked

The good news is....... think....I'll get back with you.

We're supposed to be up to 52 degrees tomorrow, but up to 65 degrees Sunday, which should make for a seriously busy day. yay

After a seriously busy day, I'll be looking for some serious play.

I love staying really busy at work for sure, but the days get really crazy, and it's non-stop running for me, which is never good for someone so lazy. snicker

My feet are the ones that really suffer, for between them and the concrete there is not much buffer. dance

I'm afraid I could go on like this all night, or at least until I closed my eyes and turned out the light. slapforehead

I'm sure I do not need to say, but I will anyway.

Have a happy day.

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/01/13 10:12 PM

Joe, you seriously need to find some time to do something seriously fun. Seriously. grin

I am not sure what the day will bring but I do know I will enjoy it. That is for sure!

I promised the dogs a romp in the woods. Our days are getting numbered there and I'll have to start going to the off-leash dogs parks again. The coyotes are having litters now and I am getting worried about running across a den.

Have a happy day!
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/01/13 10:25 PM

Have a great day Joe, Ana, and everyone else who follows. yay
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/01/13 11:50 PM

Joe, you really are seriously funny. Ana, have fun with the dogs. Today would have been a great day to run the dogs at the beach. It was cloudy and warmer and no wind. Hi Space, I hope you are enjoying your weekend. To all who follow, I wish you a wonderful day and Happy Gaming!! wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/01/13 11:57 PM

SpaceQ, I hoped your weekend is wonderful!

Lotus, a beach day sounds excellent! I could use one of those as well! What's on your agenda for the weekend?
Posted by: venus

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 12:35 AM

Have a terrific Saturday Joe, Ana, Space Quest, Lotus and all who come in after me. wave

Well, I'm off for three days, and what happens? My natural nocturnal tendencies resurface. lol It's late Friday night for me, and I actually have to work Saturday morning for a change, so I'm off to bed now.

Going to wish everyone a happy day while I have a chance, as I may not have time in the morning. wave

Have a great Saturday, everyone. winter
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 02:21 AM

Have a great Saturday Joe, Ana, Space Quest, Lotus,Venus and all who come in later wave
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 03:31 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana,Space,Venus,Haroula.Lotus.and all who arrive later waveI wish you all a happy day! Coffee is on with some cr.donut holes,and muffins sherlock
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 04:54 AM

dance Good Morning Joe, Ana, SpaceQ, Lotus, Haroula , venus and Cailyn. You all are up late - and up early! Hope is a great Saturday for all! dance
Posted by: connie

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 07:22 AM

Good morning everyone. Not sure what's on the agenda for the day, but Robert is taking us out to dinner for our Birthdays. They are a week apart, so he's doing it in the middle. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Saturday. Danish, Eggs, Home Fries, English Muffins, and Hot Chcolate in the NC. penguin
Posted by: GBC

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 07:29 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, Ana, Space, Lotus, Venus, Haroula, Cailyn, Gerry, Connie, and all who come in today I'm wishing a wonderful weekend.

Going out to lunch and fun shopping with youngest daughter today.
Posted by: soot

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 08:39 AM

Good morning Joe .. thanks for the great start to my day! See you after work.

Ana, SQF, Lotus, Venus, Haroula, Cailyn, Gerry, Connie, Gail and the rest of the diner gang --> have a wonderful Saturday!

Yes, it's Saturday and have my projects but first I am off to garden, sip and game a little.

Take care all wave
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 10:15 AM

Super Saturday ya'll puppy

It's grey, it's cold. I think that means it's fire time happydance

And coffee time happydance

And surf time happydance
Posted by: flutist

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 11:17 AM

Good morning all.

Got my vacuuming finished. Not sure what is taking place this afternoon. Possible plans to go to Ginny's, get Chinese take out and play more doggy monopoly.

In the meantime, I think I shall play a little.

Everyone have a wonderful day.

Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 11:29 AM

Well I'm off for the country to get a hair cut for Sunshine. When I get back I have my great-grandsons birthday party!!! He is a year old now.

Have a wonderful day everybody what ever you do and be safe!!

Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 12:28 PM

Neighbor just came over and wanted to know if I would 'adopt' 2 cats his son had adopted. Guess the 'thrill is gone'. I am the ultimate cat lover, but I had to say no per my promise to myself and the world that I would never take in any more kitties. Felt bad, but he lives in a nice neighborhood and a simple sign on a pole would probably get them adopted pronto. Hope he follows through.Just a month ago he borrowed our cat carrier to take them for shots and neutering. Something tells me his new 'fiance' doesn't like cats. Hummmmm. cat

HOT. Is already 75 and climbing at 8 am. Feels good though after all the cold weather. I get to wear a t-shirt instead of a sweatshirt for the day.

Apprehensive about going into the laundry room after yesterday's big crash. I keep trying the cabinet to see if it's realllly stuck to the wall. It is but I'm paranoid now. Gotta do a load of wash later. Maybe I should have paramedics standing by? rotfl
Posted by: Lotus777

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 01:53 PM

Hullo again to all of you! Happy Weekend. Ana, hubby is getting some well deserved rest today. I am being as quiet as mouse after serving him a manly breakfast of five egg omelet, turkey bacon and toast with cherry jelly...he's sleeping it off, lol. Supposed to be raining here but it is quite foggy. I've actually been doodling around with my artwork recently and may do some more...if I can separate myself from my new tablet long enough. I hope everyone has a wonderful day. yes
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 02:53 PM

Lotus, I'd be sleeping it off too rotfl

Sorta, putting up signs to give away animals sadly often ends with them being "bait" to teach dogs to fight. sad
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 03:40 PM

Not to worry L4L, this kid lives in a very affluent neighborhood in a posh area of the inner city. All high rises and no yards, etc. Don't think there are any dog fighting rings there, but just in case, I'll advise him to be careful. Thanks for the heads up.
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 04:20 PM

sleep wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 04:26 PM

Good afternoon boomies!

I went back to bed this morning. I feel like I am losing the migraine battle. Then hubby and I took a long walk in the woods with the dogs, it is nice having company some days.

Now we are going to do our Costco run. I am enjoying the non urgent tone of the day.

ARe we having fun yet?
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 06:20 PM

Hello everyone. wave

I hope you're all enjoying your weekend. yes

When I got home I ate something and then lay down on the couch for a nap. tired

Now I'm ready to shower and go to bed. lol

I've been sitting here watching My Ghost Story with Baby curled up next to me and Pepper on my knee. puppy

BOO!!! eek

I have to be at work at 6:00 tomorrow. We have an all store meeting. rolleyes

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 08:03 PM

Ana, I hope the migraine has decided to take a hike.

Joe, will you be home early tomorrow since you have to go in so early?

We are having pizza, watching basketball, getting ready to play Star Wars Monopoly with the kids, and have a fire. wave
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 08:09 PM

I get off at 3:00 again tomorrow L4L. thumbsup

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 08:31 PM

JOe, your afternoon on the couch with your babies sounds great! hearts How is Pepper doing?

L4L, it's maintaining. Your evening sounds wonderful too! We just finished the first grilled steak of the year and it was awesome!
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 08:34 PM

So, Cullen "Tony Stark" is lying on the couch yelling "Tony's dead, dad, Tony's dead." And then when you look at him, he closes his eyes and gets quiet. rotfl
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 10:49 PM

Good night Boomers. sleep
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 11:35 PM

Ok, we have bought and sold Tatooine and Walked the Plank. Now it's time for some quiet. Off to bed with The Gathering Storm,the dogs, and the hubby. Slee well all sleep
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 11:43 PM

What a nice fun filled day!!! Glad it has come to a close though. lol

Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams!!

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Weekend Part 1 - 03/02/13 11:47 PM

I seemed to have lost a post that I swear I actually remembered hitting submit to. duh

Nan, how did Sunshine do on her haircut?