Weekend Part Sunday

Posted by: gymcandy1

Weekend Part Sunday - 03/02/13 09:00 PM

Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
Jane Wagner, (and Lily Tomlin)

Smart Sayings

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.

Things To Ponder

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

7. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

8. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

11. Is there another word for synonym?

12. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

13. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

14. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

15. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

16. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

17. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

18. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

19. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

20. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

21. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

22. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through ugly bank machines?

23. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

24. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

25. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

26. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

27. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.

28. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

29. The older you get, the better you realize you were.

30. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

31. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

32. Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

33. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

34. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

35. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?

36. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

37. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

38. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

39. If God dropped acid, would he see people?

40. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

41. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

42. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

43. If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?

44. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

45. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Good morning everyboomie. welcome

Welcome to the Weekend-Sabbath Edition. yes

I hope it's Sunday all day long for you guys. thumbsup

It's kinda like Tuesday for me. taz

That's ok. I know I'll probably make it to my weekend before I die.........most likely.

I'll just be so old I'll have to spend all my time off convalescing.

I'm still waiting for the well to run dry from all of this sinus infection/cold/crud.

It has been going on for over a week now. shocked

It's draining me. lol

It's time for me to be one with my pillow now. sleep

Have a happy day everyone.


Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/02/13 09:47 PM

lol Joe, you crack me up! I hope you are feeling better soonest! Have a wonderful day!

Have a wonderful Sunday everyone. I think I am going to run the dogs, do some grocery shopping and enjoy my day.

Ana wave
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/02/13 10:50 PM

Enjoy your Sunday Joe and Ana. smile
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 02:16 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana,SQF and all who follow later wave
Have all a great Sunday dance
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 02:51 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana,Space,Haroula waveJoe hope you get to feeling better soon,Ana enjoy your nice quiet day.I'm off to New Hampshire today but I'll have the coffee ready before I go!Enjoy the day everyone puppy
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 04:55 AM

wave Good Morning Joe, Ana, SpaceQ, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe love the funnies this morning. I hope you get well soon. Ana enjoy a quiet day. SpaceQ and Haroula wishing you a lovely day. Cailyn have a safe trip to New Hampshire. Happy Day wished for all! wave
Posted by: venus

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 05:13 AM

Time for another whoosh. Busy day today. Work and then my friend's daughter's birthday party. Hope everyone has a great Sunday. wave
Posted by: Midge

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 05:36 AM

Good morning. Thanks Joe for your openers. I hope you feel better when you get up. Morning Ana, SQFan, Haroula, Sue, Gerry, venus, and all who come in the diner today. I have another split shift today. It should be rather easy though. They are going to church this morning so I'll be able to leave about an hour early.

Midgie hearts
Posted by: GBC

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 06:13 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, feel better quickly!

Ana, enjoy your day.

Good morning Space.

Good morning Haroula.

Cailyn, have a safe trip.

Gerry, enjoy whatever plans you make today.

Venus, sounds like a busy day, enjoy.

Midge, glad your day will be on the easy side.

Church this morning then a nice quiet family day!
Posted by: connie

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 07:50 AM

Good morning everyone. Hubby is feeling much better. Joe, I hope you feel better quickly. Breakfast out this morning. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Sunday. Danish, Blueberry Pancakes, Fruit Cups, and Hot Chcolate in the NC. penguin
Posted by: soot

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 08:39 AM

Gosh Joe .. I do hope you don't reach the bottom of your well but do defeat the crud!

Morning everyone..wishing you all a blessed Sunday, relaxing, refreshing or productive depending on your needs!

I'm off to garden, surf, sip and game today with L4L laugh

Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 11:53 AM

I'm right there with ya Joe on the Sinus Infection Crud stuff. Lost my voice for 3 days now and just starting to be able to communicate a bit. Telephone talking is hilarious. I must have gotten it from you. rotfl Hope you feel all better soon!

Lovely day again. Warm now, then it will be hot for an hour or two and the cold again. Weather can't make up its mind. Perfect earthquake weather for this area. All we need now is some rain (predicted for Thursday) and the conditions are just perfect.

Ninja Kitty was not at breakfast because he caught his own breakfast. Darn him. It was beautiful little finch (yellow breasted). So pretty but it was already dead when I spotted him throwing it into the air and catching it again and again so his siblings could watch and get jealous. He's gone from the yard now so I'm assuming he took his prize down to the back lot and probably is showing off for the back tenant. His kitty died a few months back, but Ninja and his cat used to taunt each other. Indoorsie vs. Outdoorsie Ninja. Na na na na na na. I'm not sure Ninja knows he's gone.

Water bill for this period (2 months billing) was so high I screamed out loud. Dunno why the extra water usage. I'm trying to conserve. Will check on the tenants. If it doesn't go down next time, I'll do a thorough check for pipe breaks. Horrible to pay almost 200 bucks for 3 houses over a 2 month cycle! 10 years ago, the water bill was half that. Also a lot of rate hikes, but I always go on the 'daily usage average' in gallons and figure how many people and how many visitors in that cycle. This time, only ONE visitor and only 3 days so it's not that. Ugh!
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 12:12 PM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Have a great Sunday and hope you are feeling better very soon!!

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

An easy peasy day is planned!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 12:12 PM

Off to run the dogs and then my neighbor is taking my truck to see what broke. It makes a very very ugly noise the last few days so I can only drive within a couple miles so I can walk home if need be. We are expecting up to a foot of snow Tuesday so I need to get it running so Peter can drive it and use the 4 wheel drive to go to work.

On the positive side, I woke up headache free! yay

Be back later..
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 12:13 PM

Sorta, rotfl My water bill for one house per month is usually at least $50.00 and we try to use it intelligently.

Kids are here, life is noisy. Coffeeeeeee!!!!!
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 12:21 PM

Ditto L4L! We pay a lot for ours too and it went up significantly in the last year. We get ours piped in from Lake Michigan.

One of our local kids died last night on his crotch rocket near my house. Looking on his FB page he was bragging about going 185 mph on it. He was 19 years old. sad
Posted by: Yankee Clipper

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 01:09 PM

Hi everybody, you won't be hearing much from me for awhile because what I thought was carpal tunnel is autoimmune rheumatoid arthritis in my wrists and elbows. How can 2 little hands hurt so much is mystery but they do. And they are always on fire. But prognosis is good and I can still feed the cats if I can flip the lid off the F. Feast. Worst of all I can't game or work out boohoo. The bright side -I downloaded 2 games for my present when this is gone and they are: Chicken Invaders 4 The Ultimate Omelet and Hyperspace Intruder.

Byebye for awhile
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 02:55 PM

Joe I don't like to send you bad news but......if it is like what I had/have it will be there for awhile longer.....like a month. That is how it started and I am still congested and hacking. Prayers that it goes quicker for you!!

Ana hope the truck is fixed in no time at all and the noise is gone. You are brave though. I don't mind borrowing things to others but there are certain things that I won't and my set of wheels is one of them. Don't mind giving rides but won't borrow cause they may not drive it like I would.

I had a friend who wanted to borrow the snowblower but I just couldn't do it. So....I went and blow them out with it instead! lol But then that is just me.

Hope you had fun in the sun with the dogs and that the weathermen are wrong cause they have put us under a watch too. lol

wave Space, Haroula, Gerry, venus, Midge! Have a lovely day!

Gail enjoy church and the lovely quiet afternoon with the family!! HUGS!!

Cailyn prayers for the Band around you as you are traveling!! Have a fun time!

Connie glad hubby is feeling well and thanks for the danish!!

Soot and L4l enjoy the day and hope the "honey-do" list is short!! lol

Aw Yankee that's not nice. Sending Prayers that it will feel better soonest for you!! HUGS!!

Sorta how cute of sir ninja. lol Nice to have an intertaining cat. Hope you can get to the bottom of the water situation!!

Darlene have a lovely afternoon!! Happy gaming!!

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 03:05 PM

Nan, Peter is really the only one I give my truck to. He has lightning reflexes. lol Otherwise it's mine and only mine. grin I loaned out my steamvac twice and once it came back broken and I had to buy a new one and the next it came back disgustingly dirty. That no longer gets loaned out either.

Merlin fell out of the truck again but he still insisted on running in the woods although he ran with his hind legs together. Poor pup...

Yankee, I am so sorry to hear that. Are you taking meds for it? Will it go away?
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 05:02 PM

Awww Yankee, we will miss you so much! Hugs!
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 07:43 PM

I ended up going shopping with my sister for her daughters bridal shower next weekend and then we met up with hubby and BIL to go out to dinner. Now I am stuffed and hubby went to the club to work his dinner off.
My neighbor took my truck while I was gone and texted me that it was great except for the muffler so I am free to drive it and he'll fix it for me when he gets a chance. yay
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 09:09 PM

Well, our net and our phone have been up and down and up and down....eek!
Posted by: Midge

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 10:13 PM

Going to bed now. Early shift in the morning. Hope you all had a goodday.

Night all.
Midgie sleep
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 11:04 PM

Night guys, see you after my early doctor's appointment. I'll be up way too early trying to drink enough coffee to wake up my brain for driving. Sleep well all sleep
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Weekend Part Sunday - 03/03/13 11:42 PM

Aw Ana....poor Merlin. Give him a cuddle for me. Thanks.

L4l prayers the doc appointment goes well!!

Night Midge!!

Time here to think about heading toward the bed also. Night everybody sleep well and pleasant dreams.

Gilligan hope you had a wonderfully lovely BD!!!!