Posted by: gymcandy1

Monday - 03/03/13 07:57 PM

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)

Tombstone Humor
These epitaphs are reported to be from actual tombstones...

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies
Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good
Die Young.

In a London, England cemetery:
Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.

Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.

A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.

A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.

Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.

Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.

In a Georgia cemetery:
"I told you I was sick!"

John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.

On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June
- Jonathan Fiddle -
Went out of tune.

Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.

Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:
In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.

On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.

The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip:
Who was fatally burned
March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "R.E. Danforth's
Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"

Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down. It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

Tongue Twisters
We've all at one time or another given our best try at tongue twisters, have a look through this funny list and see how you do...

Randy wondered why Willie really wasn't well.

Sam saw six shiny silver spoons.

Giddy gophers greedily gobble gooey goodies.

Slippery slimy snakes slide slowly.

Six shiny snails sighed sadly.

Pretty Patty Piggy pickles plump pink peppers.

Cheryl say Cher's sheer shawl Sunday.

Six seals slick sick seals.

How much dope could the dope dealer deal if the dope dealer could deal dope?

Sheep shouldn't sleep in shacks.

I slitted a sheet, a sheet i slit now i sit on the sheet i slit.

I wish I had an Irish wrist watch to watch on my Irish wrist.

Stick a sticker where its sticky where a sticker once was stuck.

She sells sea shells by the sea shore

Sure, the ship's ship-shape sir!

Does the wristwatch shop shut soon?

Try saying these 10 times fast...

Caution Golfers Crossing

Sun Shine City

Toy Boat

Unique New York

Mixed Biscuits

Red Leather, Yellow Leather

Good morning city boomies, country boomies, everyboomie. welcome

Come one come all. The coffee's ready to sip or chug y'all. thumbsup

Take it with cream or sugar or black as night. cool

Take it with an IV or with a straw. Either way is alright. yes

Leaded, unleaded, or super charged. Mented, whipped, or on the rocks. taz

Enjoy it barefoot or wearing socks. penguin

One of the best things for breakfast you know, is a great tasting, sweet smelling, cup-o-joe.

OH and......Have a happy day, ok? wink

It'll be a 3:30 wake up for me, so I'm off to bed to saw some Zs. sleep

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Monday - 03/03/13 08:28 PM

Joe, don't saw too loud or your sis won't be able to sleep. lol That is an ungodly hour to get up for work. Heck, I don't even want to get up that early for something fun.
I hope your day goes well and you find lots of reasons to smile. hearts

I will be back in the corner at some point today but I am going back to Salsa Funk class tonight. woot Finally!

Have a happy day everyone!

Ana wave
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 02:35 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana and all who come in later wave
Have all a nice day happydance
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 04:11 AM

Good morning Joe,Ana,Haroula waveCoffee is on it's back to the gym for me too Ana,I've been slscking off way to long.Wish everyone a great day puppy
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 05:28 AM

wave Good Morning Jo, Ana, Haroula, and Cailyn. Loved the humor this morning Joe. lol Ana don't work to hard! yes Have a sunny day Haroula. smile Cailyn how was your trip to New Hampshire? cat Wishing everyone a stress free day. wave
Posted by: venus

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 06:05 AM

Hello and goodbye. wave
Posted by: GBC

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 06:20 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, Early day for you.

Ana, enjoy Salsa Funk tonight.

Haroula, happy day to you!

Cailyn, enjoy back to the gym. Glad your ambition is back.

Gerry, a sress free day wished for you also.

Venus, good workday to you.

To all who come in.....good morning!

Statr to another week. 5 more weeks of Radiation left. A piece of cake next to the former treatments. woot Be back later.
Posted by: connie

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 07:13 AM

Good morning everyone. Not sure if we will go to the bank and BJ's today or tomorrow. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Monday. Danish, Waffles, and Hot Chcolate in the NC. penguin
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 09:57 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! So love your openers! That's an early time to rise! Ouch! Hope your day goes easy peasy!

Hey, Gail! Hope these next five weeks go as well as can be! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 12:40 PM

Thanks Joe for my morning tongue exercises. Yikes!

Good news and bad news on the neighbor's son's cats that he wanted me to adopt. Good news is they got adopted. Bad news is my Neighbor adopted them. Sigh. He couldn't refuse the son who he still gives money to even though the kid hasn't lived here since he was 2 and now he's in his mid 30's and STILL in college.

Anyway, I will probably end up with 2 new cats eating at my feeder and sleeping in the cat tents before long. Oh well, I tried. At least my neighbor is doing the right thing for the kitties. He told me their names and descriptions (descriptions are not even close to what one looks like). I spotted that one just now over the fence looking at me like 'who are youuuuu?'. He's a long hair (neighbor forgot to tell me that detail which would have helped a lot. Looks very pretty 10 months old neutered. Other one is mostly black too he says. I'm wondering if it's a long hair too. And it's a girl (spayed). He says they sleep in their cat carriers at night outside his back door and he lets them in for hugging and food, etc. They have never been outside since birth! Hope they learn the fun stuff to do with all the birds and mice and that if they do venture over here (it's just a matter of time) that they get along with all the outdoorises. Ohhhhh! We shall see what the pecking order will be. Hoping for the best for those little guys! I'll do what I can to coach the neighbor, who has never had a cat, ever. He's gonna have an interesting life from here on. I'm trying to convince him to let them remain indoor cats. He's not sure he wants to but they are litter trained etc and it would be so simple. Yup.
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 12:45 PM

Magnificent Monday ya'll puppy

I had to be up and out early. Needed a bunch of new scripts for chronic conditions. Of course, they just changed me to a new doc who would not give me scripts without me being there. I did not like her even one little bit. I loved my last doc sad

Anyway, eventually I got some of the meds and picked them and picked up hubby's meds too. Now I need to record the numbers and when they need to be refilled.

Cable guy coming this afternoon. Our phone has always had bad moments since we switched it to cable. And our cable was up and down and laggggggggy yesterday.

Doggies were more than anxious to have breakfast when I got home. Son is working nights so have to keep the 4 legged ones quiet as son's bedroom is right at the dog barking spot.

Gail, I hope the treatments go well and you will be finished soonest.

Ana, how is your toe? Have fun tonight.
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 12:48 PM

Well, Mother Nature, Bring it on....I am ready!!! lol They are talking about a winter storm warning till 6pm tomorrow. Got up and ran errands and picked up things one doesn't want to run out of in a storm.

Joe enjoy your day and remember....only one more till time off!! thanks for the laughs.

Ana enjoy your frre time while you can. Hope the project moves right along for you! Enjoy class tonight!! Must mean that your toe is finally feeling better.

wave Haroula, Gerry, venus, Cailyn! Have a lovely day!

Gail may those five weeks fly by and all go smoothly for you! HUGS! Have a lovely day!

Connie thanks for the danish and have fun what ever you do!!

Darlene may all go smoothly today!!

Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 03:53 PM

Good afternoon Boomers. Enjoy the rest of your day. smile
Posted by: Haroula

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 04:40 PM

sleep wave
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 06:18 PM

Good afternoon boomies. I had a nonstop catch up day while waiting to get back in the corner but it'd delayed until tomorrow. yay I am now getting ready to head to class in a little bit. I can't wait to dance again. woot

I hear the winter storm is on it's way too. Anywhere from 6-12 inches. It will be pretty and won't last long so I won't complain. grin

I was unloading groceries from the back of my truck this afternoon and my truck slid down the driveway on the ice and almost ran me over. eek It went 6 feet before I could get the drivers door open and stomp on the emergency brake. lol

Hope you all are enjoying your day!
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 07:42 PM

Eeek, careful doing that. My mom managed to run over herself with her own car trying to do that.
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 07:55 PM

Hey everybody. wave

I had an incredibly busy work day. tired

Yesterday I was supposed to get off at 3 and it was 3:45 before I left. Today I was going to leave at 1:00 and it was 1:45 before I left. razz

I guess I need to plan onb leaving 45 minutes earlier. lol

I came home and went out walking and head hunting with Baby and did too much walking and stayed out too long.

I'm very tired and my feet are screaming at me.....and my sinuses keep going, "Don't forget we're not through causing you grief yet." sniff sniff

Tomorrow I am scheduled 2:00 till 11:00. shocked whoopee


EDIT: Oh yeah, we got up to 81 degrees today. slapforehead
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 08:23 PM

Wow Joe, 81!

You all were much warmer than we were puppy
Posted by: Midge

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 10:18 PM

eek Ana.That was scary. Joe I don't know from 81 degrees. Wow!
Time to say good night. See you in the morning. New Client tomorrow. Looking forward to it.

Midgie hearts sleep
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 10:44 PM

Night Midgy, sleep well.

I, too, am off to bed. Sleep well all sleep
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Monday - 03/04/13 10:55 PM

I live in Hell. devil
Posted by: niteowl07

Re: Monday - 03/05/13 12:23 AM

oh, joe -loved those grave stone sayings ,lol.

my feet hurt today too,if that makes you feel any better.

ana- omy gosh ! have fun at class ,and please keep track off that brake before you get out !

sorta - hope they aren't declawed if he's going to let them out...

well,another busy day today ,and a busy one tomorrow ,so,sweet dreams ,all

catrub sleep
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Monday - 03/05/13 12:43 AM

Joe try some Mucinex-D 1200mg/120mg. That should help you to feel better soonest!! That is what the doc told me and I think she was right!!

Midge have fun with the new client!!

niteowl are you all unpacked now???

Ana hope you danced the night away and had a "blast"!!

Well time here to say good night. Sleep well and pleasant dreams everybody!!