Hump Day

Posted by: gymcandy1

Hump Day - 03/06/13 01:45 AM

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
Bill Cosby (1937 - )

Drunken Language
Things That Are Difficult To Say When You're Drunk

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

Things That Are Very Difficult To Say When You're Drunk

1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

Things That Are Downright Impossible To Say When You're Drunk

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to go in this parking lot or on the road side.
10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.

Driving Styles
Depending on where someone is from and where they are driving you can make some assumptions about their driving styles and etiquette...

Chicago: One hand on wheel, one hand on horn.

New York: One hand on wheel, one finger out window.

New Jersey: One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic.

Boston: One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator.

Scarborough, Ontario: Both hands clenched on steering wheel, driver staring directly forward, cutting in front of you and slowing down to 40 in a 60 zone then looking in rearview mirror in wonder as to why the car behind is flashing high beams.

Los Angeles: One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator with gun in lap

Ohio, but driving in California: Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror.

Italy: Both hands in air and gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat.

Seattle: One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game.

Texas: One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on the brake, throwing a McDonald's bag out the window.

West Virginia: Four-wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna.

Florida: Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on.

Edmonton: One gloved hand on wheel, one hand on heater, feet up underneath bum to keep warm, 3 differently decorated ice scrapers, one plastic, broken; one steel, broken; one pastel, hidden in trunk. neither foot on accelerator or brakes because with all the ice on the roads, you're all moving at the same speed either way.

Dubuque, Iowa: no use of turn signal, or left on for 26 blocks...also cradling cheap cell phone.

Maine: Beat up 1983 Dodge Ram pick-up truck, right hand holding a Dunkin Donuts coffee, cigarette dangling from mouth, greasy hair shoved underneath an oil stained cap and classic rock blaring from the radio.

Pennsylvania: Both hands on reigns.

California: (Bay Area / Silicon Valley) One hand on laptop computer, one hand at on-board navigation/Internet console installed in dash board, cell phone attached to head with microphone earpiece, having a executive meeting with half a dozen people on speaker phone, palm pilot wedged between knees to observe up to date stock quotes, and shoes kicked off, and feet crossed because traffic hasn't moved in the past hour.

Montana: One finger on steering wheel of jacked up 4x4, Charlie Daniels blaring from speakers, dead coyote in back, hay leaves blowing out of bed while going down the highway.

Nebraska: Two hands on wheel, with head lodged up behind, chunks of rust falling off by the pound.

Quebec: engaged in heated political discussion with espresso in one hand and croissant in the other, aiming for pedestrians who have the mistaken notion that crosswalks are for them.

Michigan: Both hands on wheel and head up behind.

Toronto: Both hands on the wheel, seat as far forward as possible, head fixed only looking forward, ignoring people behind and beside you, stopping and waiting for the road to fully clear before making any forward progress.

Los Angeles: Lowered Honda, can't see over dash, driving too fast or too slow, car sounds like a bee as it goes by.

Good morning everybody. wave

It's really late and I'm about two blinks away from being out cold. sleep

I hope my forehead lands on "submit" if I pass out.

I think maybe I'll mosey on back to my bedroom , get in bed, fall asleep, and be one with the universe. cool

Hopefully I'll get spaced out and escape the gravity of this planet. dance

Ok, I'm over and out. happydance

Have a happy day everyone. rah

Posted by: Haroula

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 02:44 AM

Good morning boomers,have all a lovely day wave
The house is like a bombing place so...
but we had such a fan happydance
Posted by: cailyn

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 04:17 AM

Good morning Joe,Haroula wave Coffee is on have a great day everyone winter
Posted by: Kaki's Sister

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 05:09 AM

Good Morning Joe, Haroula and Cailyn. Joe hope you have pleasant dreams! sleep Haroula sounds like you all had a fun day yesterday. yes Cailyn thanks for the coffee. wave A fantastic Day wished for all! dance dance
Posted by: Midge

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 06:12 AM

Good morning. We're getting a lot of rain for the next 2 or 3 days. It'll turn into a rain/snow mix on and off. Ana it looks like you'll be getting a huge amount of snow. Wow! Back to winter for some. Stay safe everyone. Morning Joe. Thanks for opening for us. Nan thanks so much for the BB pancakes. I've missed having them for breakfast, yummmm. Morning Haroula, Sue, Gerry, and all who follow me in. I have a doctor's appointment this morning to find out what the heck is going on with my nose and sinuses.

Have a great day all. I have today off. I was supposed to go see my Mom today but with all the bad weather I'll try and make it next week. Thinking about my BIL this morning. I hope the doctors there don't find cancer. My heart is hurting for him. sad

Midgie hearts
Posted by: connie

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 08:11 AM

Good morning everyone. Midge, prayers for you, your BIL, and sis are on the way. hearts Good luck with the DR. visit. I'm not sure what's on the agenda for the day yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Great Hump day. Danish, French Toast, Muffins, and Hot Chcolate in the NC. penguin
Posted by: GBC

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 08:27 AM

Good Morning Boomers

Joe, thanks for the laughs.

Haroula, sounds like a housework day is ahead for you.

Cailyn, thanks for the coffee.

Gerry, have a nice day!

Midgie, my area is in for maybe a foot of that white stuff with high winds. I thought winter was over. Good luck at the docs.

Connie, Enjoy whatever you decide to do today.

Off to Rad. Be back later. Storm coming in tonight. Wishing everyone a wonderful day!
Posted by: venus

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 09:00 AM

Joe, looks like your forehead managed to find the Submit button. lol Hope you got a good night's sleep.

Glad you had fun, Haroula. thumbsup

Have a great day, too, Cailyn.

A fantastic day to you as well, Gerry.

Hope your BIL's appointment goes well, Midge!!

Hope you find something fun to do today, Connie.

Hope the storm isn't too bad for you, Gail! We were supposed to get a lot of snow here, too, but I haven't seen any yet.

I'm off today. We were supposed to have several feet of snow, but so far, we haven't gotten anything. I have to say, I'm disappointed. wink Since it's my day off, it would have been nice to have some pretty snow to look at from my window while I played my game(s). The timing would have been perfect. Plus, we've hardly had any snow at all this winter, even though it's been cold. Oh, well, I suppose this gray and dreary day goes well, with Still Life, so maybe I'll play that one. grin

Hope everyone has a terrific Wednesday. cat
Posted by: Darlene

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 10:02 AM

wave Howdy ho, sweet Joe! Thanks for the openers! Hope your Hump Day is happy! rah

Midgie, prayers of strength going up for you, your BIL and sis, your Mum! hearts

Good morning, sweet 'Boomies!

Alrighty, gotta skoosh! See you later!
Posted by: Sorta Blonde

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 11:55 AM

LOVE the driving jokes, Joe! Trying to decide which state I should move to for my driving style. rotfl

Road work should be done today so the signs say. I hear light motor something working. Street is sanded over new blacktop but open to traffic. No idea if they will actually be done, but I doubt all the 'little' things are finished. AND there are those rainwater drains which have yet to be 'activated'. A crew from the selling company has to come by with all sorts of 'fill' to make an ecofriendly filter and then plant a tree in each one. Lucky if those trees survive a few months since ours are broken, dying, and some have been replaced. Dunno. Small, flowering, trees that you have to detour out of the way on the sidewalk to avoid being whacked in the head. Nice planning!

Beautiful day here. They say it's gonna rain about 3/4 to 1 1/2 inches here. Ummmmm. Not from what I see. Must be a 'stealth' storm.

Off to count cats. All mine are here, and the new interlopers seem to be settling into their yard 'territory'. Very interesting to watch. Still keeping my eye on those guys and hoping that my ferals will take them under their guidance. If so, I'll just ask the neighbor to help out on the food bill. I'm sure he has no idea that putting food out for 'his' cats, will encourage the raccoons and possums to eat it all up every night. Yup. Lots to learn, not to mention ANTS. Tricky system keeping ants off the food dishes. I've perfected it without endangering the kitties with massive sprays. Oh to the war.
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 12:56 PM

Joe thanks for the chuckles and hope you slept well.

Haroula what's a mess to clean if ya all had fun!! lol Have a happy day!

Cailyn thanks for the coffee!! Have a good one!

Gerry have a nice day!

Midge best of luck at the doc appointment. Prayers for your BIL!! HUGS to you all!

Connie have fun what ever pops up to do!! Thanks fpr the danish!

venus enjoy the day off and Happy Gaming!! Hope you get a little snow to enjoy!! Plenty here if ya want some. lol

Darlene may all go smoothly today! have a lovely day!

Sorta good luck with the cat situation!! Be safe in the rain, if it arrives!! lol

No plans till taxi time.

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 12:58 PM

Wonderful Wednesday ya'll puppy

It is sunny but chilly out there today. I sadly have to go back to the dentist...eek...eeek...and triple eeeeeeek! Going to the dentist always makes me sick, so will most likely come home and go directly to bed. But maybe not! I was thinking of taking a hammer with me so they could bonk me on the head and put me out, then wake me when they are all done. :thinking:

I have synced my book and my audiobook so I can try to distract myself...yea, that's gonna work. rotfl wave
Posted by: Midge

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 01:04 PM

Back from Dr's appointment. I do have a sinus infection after all. She put me on an antibiotic. It should clear up in a couple of days. I'm also using Simply Saline. It's a nasal spray. It helps. My nose isn't quite so dry. Thanks for all your prayers and good thoughts. I'm waiting to hear from BIL to find out anything new. Boy with my DIL's Dad and now my BIL, both fighting cancer it brings it all back when my hubby was fight for his life with lung cancer. Scary.

Midgie hearts
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 03:40 PM

Good afternoon boomies! It's a busy corner day for me so I can't stay but I hope you all are having a wonderful day.
Stay safe to those who are getting our snow. We have ten inches here and it's beautiful!
Posted by: Space Quest Fan

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 03:55 PM

Ana we got about six inches of snow which is a lot for us. winter
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 04:19 PM

Off with the taxi!! Have a wonderful rest of the day everybody!!

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 09:06 PM

Quiet day here today. Are we all digging out from the snow?

Have a great evening Nan! Peter took my truck with a friend to Wisconsin to go snowboarding today. I was going with till I ended up back in the corner.

Space, if you wait a couple days it should melt. lol
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 09:08 PM

Hey everybody. wave

How's it goin? wink

I hope you all enjoyed your day. We had a very nice day after it warmed up a bit. woot

I didn't get much accomplished though. blush

Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 09:33 PM

Soot and I are having a nice quiet evening. He is working on his computer which decided last night that it'd rather be a doorstop. wave
Posted by: Midge

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 09:37 PM

Night all. I had a good day off. Busy day tomorrow. Sweet dreams.

Midgie sleep hearts dance woot
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 10:13 PM

Joe, glad you enjoyed your day! yay

L4L, I am sending good computer vibes to soot. What a bad thing to have happen! eek

Midgie, glad you had a good day too!
Posted by: looney4labs

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 10:30 PM

Yes, quite odd as nobody but Soot ever touches his computer.

He has done a lot to it, but has headed up to bed, and I'm going up as soon as my kindle finishes it's firmware update.

Sleep well all sleep
Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 10:43 PM

It happens to all of us L4L. I shut mine down every night and its great and you go to boot it up and it's broke. Frustrating for sure! Sweet dreams to you.

Ana wave
Posted by: gymcandy1

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 10:52 PM

Ana are you still under a snow blanket? kissy

L4L I'm sorry Soot's computer is misbehaving. Hope he gets it fixed with minimal expense. wink

Posted by: BrownEyedTigre

Re: Hump Day - 03/06/13 11:08 PM

We got ten inches Joe, we are still very buried. We had about 5 from before still. I can't run Merlin until it goes down a bit because his hips are hurting just romping through the yard. I had to shovel out spots on the grass. sad At least it's pretty to look at. yay
Posted by: niteowl07

Re: Hump Day - 03/07/13 12:05 AM

midgiekins ,glad you had a nice day off.

L4l ,that's always the pits when the electronics act up.

joe , glad you enjoyed your day,also.

ana, poor merlin,he seems to be having a hard time of it lately. they just want to please us ,even though they should cut back some.

hope everyone is having a great day otherwise.

I've been tearing my hair out trying to place an order with Amazon for some art supplies, and half of them can't be shipped to my address. which means i'll have to order from 4 different places - gaaahhh!
The customer service rep i just talked to doesn't even know why i can get blue pens ,but not orange ones .
just another of life's many mysteries , I guess. lol

well , getting close to quittin' time here according to my cohort in cardboard ,lol.

see you all later

catrub sleep
Posted by: auntiegram

Re: Hump Day - 03/07/13 12:48 AM

Night all sleep well and pleasant dreams!!